All We Had to Keep Us Safe

The apartment Bob owned had two bedrooms, a kitchen, a small dining area, and a living area. Although it was a little small, it was new, modern, and homey. Bob led us to one of the bedrooms. There were two twin-sized beds, a dresser, and a nightstand. A thin coat of dust covered everything. Obviously nobody had been here in a while.

"You can unpack tonight or tomorrow," he said. "Whatever you want. You look tired, though. I think you should go to sleep, Jade."

I nodded. "I think so too," I agreed.

He was carrying Chloe, who was already sleeping. He turned over the pillow on one of the beds, pulled the comforter back, and set her down. After tucking her in, we said goodnight to each other.

He started to walk away, but in the doorway he turned around. "Are you going to be alright?" he asked softly, concerned.

I stared at him for a second before answering, "Yeah, I think so."

Looking torn and unsure, he pursed his lips, nodded, and closed the door behind him. I changed into my pajamas, put Teddy next to Chloe in case she woke up and was looking for him, and went to sleep myself.

When I woke up, Chloe was still fast asleep. I got dressed and crept out the door. The apartment looked suspiciously cleaner than it had the night before. Bob had fallen asleep on the couch, wearing the same clothes he'd been wearing the night before. Paper towels, a bottle of Windex, and a duster lay in the floor beside him.

I entered the kitchen, looking for something to eat. Fresh groceries were lined up on the counter, or at least the ones he hadn't put in the refrigerator. A receipt dated May 11th, 1:43 a.m. sat halfway under one of the bags. I frowned.

Bob had stayed up late to buy groceries and clean. I felt horrible. He didn't have to do that. After eating cereal for breakfast, I took up the task of cleaning myself. After all he'd done for me, I felt like I needed to do something for him.

I prepared breakfast for both him and Chloe. He didn't say anything when he woke up and came to the kitchen, so neither did I. He smiled at me, so I smiled back at him. He helped us unpack that morning.

Over a whole week passed in no time at all. Sometimes I would miss Mark. Sometimes I would cry. Other times I would look at my daughter and feel proud that I’d been able to save her.

We spent most of our days entertaining Chloe. Every once and a while I would feel angry that she didn’t miss her father. More and more she looked up at Bob, almost as if he’s taken Mark’s place in her life. Maybe he had.

Bob really did everything he could to make us comfortable. He got me a new cell phone, he bought the food we were used to, he comforted me when I was feeling down, he played with Chloe, and sometimes he even took us out to eat. He was the perfect friend.

One night Bob and I were sitting on the couch together, watching TV after we’d put Chloe to bed. He looked over at me and asked, “How are you doing?”

“Hm?”

“In general, how are you doing?” he repeated. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing alright. I feel like my life is at a dead end,” I replied, meeting his eyes.

He turned to face me, realizing this was going to be a longer conversation than he originally thought it would be. “What do you mean?” he pressed.

I grimaced. “I’ll have to get a job. I can’t live here with you forever,” I explained.

He shook his head. “You’re always welcome here, Jade.”

I laughed. “I know. You say that now and you mean it, but what if you find someone and you want to get married and start a family of your own? I know you’ll still be my best friend, but I can’t be completely your responsibility.”

He seemed to find something I’d said both grim and amusing. “When I say you’re always welcome, I mean it. And if you ever want to move out, I’ll pay for it.”

I opened my mouth to object, but he interrupted before I could.

“No, don’t refuse. Money isn’t an issue, okay? Your life is not at a dead end. It’s just at the beginning. If you want to get a job, go right ahead. I would watch Chloe for you, but I know you’d rather be with her yourself. Maybe you could get a part time job when she starts going to school if contributing money would make you feel better.”

I sighed, saying, “Bob, you do way too much for me. I don’t get it. Do you feel like you owe me something?”

Looking bewildered, he replied, “Of course I do.” He gulped before continuing. “When Adrienne died, I felt like my life was at a dead end. It seemed over to me. I didn’t understand why I hadn’t gone with her, and I didn’t think I had a purpose anymore. But then you showed me I did. I’m here to help you, Jade. Just like all you have is Chloe and I, all I have is you.”

He was so sincere about it. “You really think that?” I breathed, awestruck. I couldn’t believe it. Really, it seemed unfathomable.

“I know it,” was his reply.

I leaned over and gave him a hug. He rocked me back and forth. “You’re the best friend ever,” I told him.

“So are you,” he said. After we parted, he smiled. “Now, how about we go out to eat tomorrow night? We’ll celebrate it being two weeks after Chloe’s birthday.”

“Already?” I asked skeptically. “What’s the date?”

“Tomorrow is May 24th,” he replied.

I felt my back stiffen immediately when I heard the date. How had I forgotten? The room seemed suddenly out of focus as thoughts flew through my head. I saw concern cloud Bob’s face. I must’ve had a terrified expression. I didn’t know why I was panicking. It was the natural reaction, I suppose.

Because it had been “that time of month” over a week before, and nothing had happened. I’d never been late a day in my life. Except, of course, when I’d been pregnant with Chloe.