All We Had to Keep Us Safe

I woke up before Mark did. It was very early, but I always got up before him to make him breakfast. Besides, Chloe got up early too. At least after nights when Mark didn’t wake her up by yelling at me.

I decided on making scrambled eggs. I trudged to the kitchen, unable to gather the spirit to make anything special. I was probably never going to see my best friend again.

Mark came out of our bedroom shortly after. I was not very sure of his mood, because his expression was unreadable. It scared me when I didn’t know what to expect. He came very close to me and lifted his hand.

I flinched, afraid he was still angry and was going to his me again. Instead, though, he caressed my cheek. “Hey, don’t be scared,” he murmured, sounding full of sorry. “You shouldn’t be scared of me.”

“Sorry,” I said weakly, still worried.

“No, I’m sorry,” he apologized firmly. “I was way out of line yesterday. I hurt you, didn’t I?” He acted as if he was talking to a wild animal that might run away at any time.

I nodded, unable to let go of that little stand of fear. He twisted his hands around my waist, barely touching me, being as gently as possible.

“I let my anger take control of me. I was just so mad at that bastard. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. It just happened,” he explained.

I decided to risk it while he was in this mood. I asked, “Why don’t you trust me? You know I love you.”

He pressed his lips to mine, bringing back memories of the beginning of our marriage, memories of why I married him. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you,” he said remorsefully. “It’s him I don’t trust. I can see it in his eyes. He wants to take you away from me.”

I didn’t argue, but I knew he was wrong. Even if he did want to, Bob would never purposely mislead me from Mark in a way that was wrong. It didn’t matter, though. We were just friends.

“Please don’t be afraid of me. It’ll never happen again,” Mark assured me.

I smiled. That was all I needed to hear. “Promise?” I asked.

He grinned back at me, his dark brown hair falling into his brown eyes. “Promise,” he vowed.

We ate breakfast together. When Chloe woke up, he lifted her up and kissed her cheek. “How are you, my darling?”

She seemed hesitant to answer, especially for a two year old.

“Go ahead and tell Daddy how you are, sweetie,” I encouraged, giving her a desperate look.

“Happy,” she replied shortly. She seemed like she was afraid to give him the wrong answer. That seemed odd to me. Mark had never yelled at her before.

Mark pecked me on the lips. “Bye, Jade,” he said, leaving to go to work. “Love you.”

“Bye, Mark,” I replied happily. “I love you too.”

And I could honestly say that for a split second I really was happy. Than my phone vibrated in my pocket. I was sure it was Bob. Being reminded of him ruined my happiness. I opened my phone bitterly. Jade, just let me know you’re okay, Bob had pleaded in the text message. Holding back tears, I deleted it.

I had already started my job. I was a full-time mom, and I loved every second of it. Chloe was so worth it, and Mark had a well-paying job. We didn’t need me to work, so I spent my time caring for our daughter.

We finished watching Finding Nemo. She hadn’t forgotten about that. Then we spent hours with a coloring book. I made her macaroni and cheese for lunch. Mark came home at five, and I had our pork chops already on the table.

When Chloe was in bed, Mark came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he said, “You look extra beautiful today.”

I rolled my eyes, but he couldn’t see because he was behind me, so I replied, “What is that, a pick up line?”

He loosened his grip on me. “Sort of,” he admitted. “Is it working?”

I smiled. “That depends. Do you mean it?”

“Of course. It’s one hundred percent true.”

“Then yeah, it’s working,” I stated. And we went to bed.

Two whole weeks passed. Mark would go to work, and I would watch Chloe. He would come home, we would eat dinner, and we would go to sleep. My life would’ve been perfect if I didn’t miss Bob.

He texted me not once but twice every single day. Once in the morning and once at night. He never gave up, never forgot. Not once, and that killed me inside. However, I wondered if it would’ve hurt more if he stopped. What if I never heard from him again?

It was on a Wednesday morning, and I remember it clearly. We were eating breakfast. Chloe turned to me and asked sweetly. “Mommy, when if Bob coming over? He promised he would come and read to me soon.” It was right after mark had said good morning to her, and she’s petty much ignored him. He was already annoyed.

Now he dropped his fork. I felt like I was shrinking when he gave me a murderous glare. “Stay here and eat,” he ordered Chloe. “I’m going to told to Mommy in our room.” He stomped out. For a second, I considered not following him, but then he would just yell at me right in front of Chloe. I didn’t want that.

So I got up and walked nervously to our room, head down. He slammed the door behind me and hissed, “Was that your plan all along? To turn my own daughter against me?”

I shook my head, saying, “No. Of course not. He promised it to her weeks ago. It’s not my fault she remembered.”

“It is your fault!” he bellowed, shoving my shoulders.

I stumbled backwards and started shaking. It was starting again.

“Everything is your fault! You brought your stupid friend here, and he spoiled our daughter. Our daughter, not his? You’re my wife, not his!” he yelled, pushing me again. This time he pushed me with such force that I couldn’t keep my balance.

I fell into the wall. I put out my arm to try to cushion myself, but I heard something crack, and then a hot sensation came over my arm, and I felt my blood rushing towards it under the skin. I’d put a hole in the wall, and he wasn’t finished yet.