Fake

I was young, around the age of thirteen, when i had my first so called "boyfriend." you know how at that age, we were ridiculous enough to think that it is still thought as something meaningful, when in reality, we had no clue what we were really doing.
Well, i don't even remember his name. all i know is he wasn't that attractive at all, but he had the prettiest eyes i had ever seen in my life. There was a few times we hung out, here and there, nothing major.

But of course, as you will realize throughout this story, something just had to go wrong. See, i was young, so i was untouched yet by male heartbreak. i had not yet known that pain.
I remember that night well. i got a phone call from the darling Shelby. She is not worth an introduction in this story because she plays no part in my life at all, except the ongoing art of man stealing, and, as slutty as she may be, men think she is genuine. go figure.

Well, she called, and told me that my boyfriend was breaking up with me. i, of course, was confused as hell, so i called him. no answer (story of my life)
She called again, telling me not to call, because he didn't want to talk to me, and they were together now. see, this may sound ridiculous to you, but i was young, and again, knew nothing of this so called heartbreak.

He called me then. only to tell me that she had given him 20 dollars to break up with me, and she was the girl of his dreams. How could i fight with that? i did what any girl could do, i hung up the phone and i cried. i felt so stupid for doing so, but it didn't matter. i felt betrayed. and yet conquered by something i didn't understand yet. i laid and thought, what did i do? over and over, even though i knew i had done nothing.

I went to take a shower. nothing else i could really do. i knew i didn't loved him. i was just hurt all the same. I remember, i laid in the tube, letting the warm water splash on my stomach and bead and roll off. i watched over and over. Eventually, i stood up, in attempts to pull myself together. on my way up, i lost balance. i stepped on something and lost my footing. Looking down, i realized it was my shaving razor. It had broken under my foot. luckily, my foot showed no signs of injury. But one of the blades had popped out of the razor. It was laying on the white floor like a sparkling diamond. I just stared, as dramatic as that sounds. I picked it up, and not one though went through my head. I was thinking nothing until i though " They all can hurt me, why cant i hurt myself?"

I placed the sparkling friend against my arm and pressed. I was scared at exactly what was gonna happen, but i dragged it across anyway. I saw the blood bead, and i felt every problem i had crawl through the wound and burst through my arm. i felt as if i were releasing demons from long ago, and not just the fresh ones.

Memories engulfed me, Bad ones... Suppressed ones. Ones i didn't think i was capable of remembering. So i drug the diamond across my ever so eager arm again. Harder... Deeper... In hopes to let those demons drain.

And they did, and i was happy. Giddy, in fact. I got out of the shower with my new found friend, I took it upstairs, and found a place to hide it. My bunk bed. right below the top bunk, was the place that you could probably fit a book in. i hide my precious discovery, then looked down at my arm.

Had to hide the evidence... So i went and wrapped it in gauze. I was so happy, so uplifted. i felt i could do anything
And i forgot the reason i was upset all together...