Fake
Chapter 3- Ville- The Musical Band-Aid
I had become absorbed with the band HIM. I was watching music videos on TV, and the song Killing Loneliness came on. I was love at first sight, or in this case, sound.
Have you ever just heard music and felt as if it had just cut open your chest and peered directly into your soul? That’s what i had felt at that moment. As i recall, i started to cry. Tonie, as always, was extremely confused. My emotions were always a mystery to the poor girl. I guess at the time i was a bit dramatic.
But the music i was hearing, it had given me a whole new outlook on the word love, it had given it meaning. From that day on, i had started to write. Songs, poems, stories. Anything. As miserable a poet as i was, i enjoyed them. as did Tonie. That’s all that really mattered. Ville, the lead singer of this band, and my new found muse, was my lyrical and musical band-aid. all the teen angst that was rolled up inside me was released and turned to love at the very sound of it. Life became better.
When you receive randomly that all the concepts you had were all the sudden understood, you feel special. Not just special. Healed. A type of healing had begun. And the long road to me understanding myself was being paved. Music has always been a huge part of my life, and that’s were it started to take shape.
And to this day, gave me the courage to tell my story. But then, my mother had found the source of my happiness. The cause of the noise that was booming from upstairs. And all throughout my 8th grade year, she made it her personal mission to take it from me.
She tried to tell me it was devil worship. Told me not to listen to "such garbage." She took my notebooks filled with poetry and burned them. She confiscated my CD collection and told me how disgusted she was. I tried over and over to explain that his songs were about love, and heartbreak.
As i tried to explain that’s what my poems were about. But she wasn’t having it. Later, I stole my music back. It was the only real thing i had. Besides my frequently used friend hiding in my bunk bed.
And this is where the rebellion had begun.
Have you ever just heard music and felt as if it had just cut open your chest and peered directly into your soul? That’s what i had felt at that moment. As i recall, i started to cry. Tonie, as always, was extremely confused. My emotions were always a mystery to the poor girl. I guess at the time i was a bit dramatic.
But the music i was hearing, it had given me a whole new outlook on the word love, it had given it meaning. From that day on, i had started to write. Songs, poems, stories. Anything. As miserable a poet as i was, i enjoyed them. as did Tonie. That’s all that really mattered. Ville, the lead singer of this band, and my new found muse, was my lyrical and musical band-aid. all the teen angst that was rolled up inside me was released and turned to love at the very sound of it. Life became better.
When you receive randomly that all the concepts you had were all the sudden understood, you feel special. Not just special. Healed. A type of healing had begun. And the long road to me understanding myself was being paved. Music has always been a huge part of my life, and that’s were it started to take shape.
And to this day, gave me the courage to tell my story. But then, my mother had found the source of my happiness. The cause of the noise that was booming from upstairs. And all throughout my 8th grade year, she made it her personal mission to take it from me.
She tried to tell me it was devil worship. Told me not to listen to "such garbage." She took my notebooks filled with poetry and burned them. She confiscated my CD collection and told me how disgusted she was. I tried over and over to explain that his songs were about love, and heartbreak.
As i tried to explain that’s what my poems were about. But she wasn’t having it. Later, I stole my music back. It was the only real thing i had. Besides my frequently used friend hiding in my bunk bed.
And this is where the rebellion had begun.