Lie Like You Mean It

I don’t know how long we stood there crying like that before his dad finally came back down the stairs with two bags in his hands and sweat forming on his face. I held tighter to Zero until I thought that he’d break.

No, no, no he can’t go… he can’t leave me. I loved him! Didn’t that mean anything!?

“Noah, this is ridiculous!” My dad piped up. “Can’t you just accept your son?”

Noah gave some strange, incoherent growl in response as he grabbed Zero and tried to pull Zero away from me but I was surprisingly strong right now I just clung to him like Saran wrap. “Fucking let go you little-”

Zero predicted what his father was about to say and then smacked him in the face. He hissed from the contact. “If you ever try to say that to Nicolas again-”

Noah hit him back as Zero had hit him. “I’ll call the little queer that coerced you whatever I want to.”

“That’s my son you’re talking about. And I have to agree with Zero – you’re going too far.” My dad started in.

They started fighting then and seemed to forget about the kids in the room as my mom and April got involved – taking our side of course.

Mina, Michael, Zero and I slipped out of the kitchen and out into the cold front yard so we didn’t have to listen to them bicker.

I shivered in the cold as Zero wrapped his arms around me to protect me from the wind. “I can’t believe that asshole!” Mina started talking first. I think it’s the first time she’s ever really said anything bad about anyone before with such a tone. By now, she was crying too from watching us.

“I really didn’t kn-know he’d react like that.” Mina said apologetically from the slew of tears. “We really can’t do anything?”

“Not as long as we’re only seventeen.” Zero told us, still allowing the tears to fall from his eyes. Zero never cried, ever.

All I wanted to focus on was keeping my arms firmly wrapped around Zero as I shook in the cold. I was trying to memorize his body and his smell and his warmth; trying to take all of him in so if we ended up being separated, I’d remember him perfectly. I never ever wanted him to fade from my memory. Not that he ever would.

I looked up at him; his eyes were red from crying so much in the past fifteen minutes. I supposed mine looked the same. In that moment, we realized the finality of the situation.

He placed a kiss on my forehead, leaving his lips there for a few seconds before finally moving down to my lips and pressing one of his loving kisses on mine. I put both my hands on his cheeks and pressed harder into the kiss, trying to meld to him.

We didn’t care who was watching, we just wanted each other. We wanted to stay there, in that moment for as long as we could. His fists balled up in the fabric of my shirt, desperate to keep me close to him. That was all I wanted – to be close to him.

“P-please d-d-don’t leave m-me.” I shivered in the cold, my teeth chattering and my lips quaking as we pulled away from the kiss.

He forced himself to ignore my plea because we both knew there was nothing we could do about this. “I know your number; I’ll call you everyday and run up the bill if I have to.” He gripped me tighter before leaning over to kiss me again and then whisper against my lips, “I’ll come back to you.”

“Shit, you guys are making me cry.” Michael said, rubbing at his eyes profusely as the tears fell down his cheeks too.

“Michael… I know this is really big of me to ask, but…” Zero started.

“Say no more, Boss. I’ll stay here and keep an eye on Nicolas until you figure something out.” Michael told him sincerely.

Then Noah appeared in the doorway with the bags around his shoulders walking over to the car. “Get in.” He growled to Zero as he walked by.

“I love you.” Zero whispered to me, kissing me again and again on my nose, cheeks and mouth.

“I love you too. I love you so much. I love you.” I repeated over and over again between his kisses. Until his dad dragged him away from me, even against Zero’s fighting back he was still able to get him in the car and instantly took off.

And just like that it felt like everything was over. Like everything was breaking and falling apart. And without Zero, I was sure it was.

*~*~*~*

“Are you sure you can stay here, Michael?” Mom asked him as I sat at the breakfast table the next day, my eyes swollen and bloodshot from lack of sleep and too much crying.

“Yeah, I talked to my boss last night; I can work over the internet.” He told her. Just then the phone rang. Mom answered it and then smiled before handing it to me.

“Good morning, Love.” His voice sounded strained but it was really him. I know it was only a day since he left, but it all felt so… dead without him that the hours dragged on and on.

“Zero…” I breathed into the receiver, surely giving him quite a bit of static.

I trailed upstairs and then went to myempty room and sat on the bed. “You sound tired. Are you alright?”

“I could say the same to you.” I said weakly, trying to force a smile to my face at the sound of his voice.

“Jet lag.” He answered. “Are you okay?”

“H-how could a-anything be o-okay w-without you…?” I told him, forcing myself to tears again.

“Please don’t cry…” He pleaded in a tired voice.

At that, I swallowed my tears and tried to breathe regularly. “So… how’s Australia…?” I asked, stuttering aside.

“Don’t be stupid.” Came his arrogant reply, which made me smile. “It fucking sucks. I hate this.”

I gave a weak chuckle. “Yeah… tell me about it.”

“Did Mikey get things settled over there? I just want to make sure you’re taken care of.” He told me, making me smile again. Of course he’d find some way to protect me even if he was overseas.

“Yeah, he’s working from a computer now.”

“And you’re parents are okay with it?”

I nodded, but then I remembered he couldn’t see me. ”They’re fine with it.”

“Do you want me to let you go? You sound so tired, Love.” He asked.

“No!” I sounded out quickly. “Stay with me until I fall asleep?”

“Of course, Nicolas.”

I laid back on my bed and shut my eyes, listening to him spout random things just so I could hear his voice. But then I stopped him.

“Hey Zero?” I called to him. He paused so I could go on with whatever I was going to say. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said back, nearly making me want to burst into tears again. But he kept them from falling by telling me something else until I fell asleep.