Lie Like You Mean It

Zero was back to his normal scowl at the celebratory dinner the next night. Of course, school was still annoying me. Cody kept talking to me, which was almost getting tolerable, but I still found him bothersome. Call me anti-social if you want, because I am.

“Eat your food, dammit.” Zero growled at me.

“I was, until you started talking to me. Besides… I didn’t like anything except for the shrimp.” I added the last part quietly.

“God, you’re so picky.” He mumbled. I rolled my eyes at him and then moved my hand to get my drink. But then there was the clattering of silverware to the floor because I had knocked my fork off the table. I sighed and bent to pick it up. It had fallen under my dad’s foot.

“Dad… move your foot.” I asked, still doubled over, my grasp around the fork.

“Oh, sorry.” His voice was apologetic, even though it was my fault the fork had dropped. My fork was finally freed and I could finally sit back up.

I took a sip of my coke and over the rim I noticed something different about my plate. The shrimp had miraculously reappeared there. Then I scanned everyone else’s plates. All of them still had their shrimp; except Zero. Seriously? Zero… being… being…. Nice? I blinked at him; obviously shocked that he even had a heart.

“Don’t misunderstand.” He whispered under his breath when he caught me looking at him. “I’m paying you back for the drinks.”

“Huh? Damn… and I thought you were growing a heart.” I said, more to myself than anyone else.

“As if you’d care if I did.” He growled back.

“Maybe I’d wanna be your friend if you were more human.” I retorted, digging ravenously into the shrimp he’d piled on my plate. Yeah, I was mad at him, but like hell I was going to pass up shrimp just because of him.

“You ever think I don’t want to be your friend?” He snapped back at me and stood up, saying he was going to the bathroom. I excused myself too and followed suit. Once in the bathroom, I found Zero crunched up in a ball on the floor.

“H-hey… a-ar-are you… okay?” I asked, almost afraid to get to close to him because I was afraid he’d lash out at me and attack me again. I slowly walked up to him a little closer, inching forward.

“No. I’m not.” He replied sternly. His head was buried in his arms so his voice was muffled. But I could still hear the strict undertones.

I felt bad about what I said now. Really bad. Pangs of guilt made their way to my chest as I scanned his balled up figure against the wall. I mean, yeah, I didn’t really like the guy, but that wasn’t really a reason for saying he wasn’t human. I guess it was time to clean up the mess I made.

“I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean it. You’re just such a dick to me all the time. I was venting.” I tried. Maybe pleading was the word for what I was doing.

He didn’t say anything more to me so I did something I’d eventually regret ever doing. But at that moment I didn’t care; I didn’t like when people felt bad and it was my fault. I hated feeling indebted too. So I gingerly stepped forward and kneeled down in front of him. I tried hard to be quiet enough so that he wouldn’t expect anything and look up at me because if he did, I was pretty sure I’d lose all my confidence. I was sure he lifted his head at my not-so-subtle movements to wrap my arms around him. I knew I was blushing, quite madly, I might add. I wasn’t so used to physical contact with anyone at all really.

“Don’t misunderstand.” I started; using his own words against him. “I hate being indebted to people – least of all, you.”

Somewhere in that awkward hug, I felt his arms grapple their way around me too. That was an unexpected move on his side. But, when was Zero’s personality ever consistent? Never. He’s the most impulsive bastard I’ve ever met, so why do his actions always shock me – even if they’re eccentric?
I tried pulling myself away from him when I felt like that was enough, but he kept his grip tight around me.

“H-hey! Le-let me go!”

“Tell me I’m special and I will.”

I guess I should’ve seen that coming. But I stayed quiet – it was too embarrassing to say without some kind of distraction, not to mention the close proximity of him. All the other times he forced me into saying that, I didn’t have to look at him directly and he was always at least five feet away from me. I couldn’t do that; it was too much to ask from me.

“Well? Don’t you want me to let go?” He asked. “You have to get back to your parents don’t you?”

He was right. Knowing my mom she might think that I slipped, fell, and hit my head on something in the bathroom. But, unlike me, Zero had no moral obligation to keep my parents from worrying about him and he used that to his advantage. I bit my lip and prepared myself for the phrase that was about to come out of my mouth. And that was why I regretted the hug.

“You’re s-special…” I whispered and just like that, he released me.

“Good boy.” He said, as if I were a dog. I glared at that comment and hit him on the head. Not hard, of course; I wasn’t that strong. And again, I was stunned by his actions, or rather reactions in this case, when he started laughing as he stood up.

For a few seconds, I expected to be hit back when he extended a hand towards me; offering to help me up. If I hadn’t been so sure his sudden ‘kindness’ had some type of ulterior motive, I’d have taken it. But I decided I didn’t trust him that much and refused, pulling myself to my feet.

On Thursday, Cody came over like we’d (he’d) planned. He brought some obscure fight-themed game that I’d never heard of. He was going on and on endlessly about the game and its predecessors. He even made up theories about the potential sequels. All of which he humbly shared with me.

“And so I’m thinking that the next one won’t have any of the original characters and-” He was cut off by a pencil snapping.

“Jesus Christ! Do you ever shut up?!” Zero’s blatantly annoyed voice came from where he sat at his desk. He was glaring over at Cody from a book he had opened in front of him. I figured one of us would get annoyed enough to lash out at him – Zero’s breaking point was just faster to get to than mine.

“I’m just telling him about the game!” Cody shot back. For a split second, I almost felt bad for the kid because he had no idea who he was up against. So I was torn between laughing and just watching them from the background.

“Yeah? Well it’s getting really fucking annoying!” Zero growled back.

“Then why don’t you leave?!” He tried. Zero slammed his book shut and lifted it in his arms.

“Fuck this. I’ll be in Mina’s room.” He mumbled. Then he muttered something about ‘peace and quiet’. Admittedly, I wanted to follow him. I didn’t like Cody very much – he talked too much.
However, once the game started up he was a bit quieter (finally). The first five rounds he won – mostly because I wasn’t really into this game. It was generic – and that was at best. It was completely unoriginal and the graphics pretty much sucked. And I hated bad graphics – except for a select few games that I grew up on. They had a soft spot with me. The kind I could play endlessly is what those certain games were.

He listed off a few other games he liked. They weren’t RPGs; they were all street fighting games and mindless shooting games. The kind without any plot, storyline, or dialogue. Each of them was typical of the conventional American gamer.

“Thanks for being a stereotype of the typical American gamer.” I mumbled and sighed.

“Oh, what kinds do you like? I’m sure I could learn to like them.” He said, smiling. I arched an eyebrow at him.

“That’s not likely; people don’t change so easily.”

“B-but I can, I mean… I just want to get to know you better.” He whispered the last part a little quietly.

“Huh?” I asked, looking at him sideways.

“Oh, uh, I guess Mina didn’t umm… tell you… did she?” I was silent and just looked at him curiously. Well, it wasn’t really curiosity it was more along the lines of, ‘what the fuck are you saying’. “I’m umm… gay and I kind of… like you…” He mumbled.

I gawked at him; shocked at what he was saying. That was really shallow. He didn’t know anything about me, so how could he possibly like me for anything other than my looks and my love of video games? Wait… does this mean I give off some kind of vibe that I’m gay? Maybe he was really thick – that’s what I was hoping.

“I’m not. And I don’t like you.” I said a little harshly. It was his fault for being selfish and admitting something like that without giving any thought to how the other party might feel about being told such a thing by a member of the same sex. Hell, I didn’t even like him as a friend. Then he grabbed my shoulder and stared me in the eyes. His eyes were glazed with disappointment and perhaps even fury at what I’d said.

“Why not!?” He asked frantically.

“You’re annoying.” I stated bluntly. I had a feeling I was going to start eating lunch alone from now on.

“But… but I just-” He cut off and tried to press his face to mine. I responded by push my hand against his face and guarding my face against his advances.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” A third voice joined us. An angry voice that I could only describe as Zero’s. I couldn’t tell if he was more angry at me or Cody. Probably Cody because I was sure he found him more annoying than me.

“Help me!” I pleaded because I was losing the struggle with him and he wasn’t letting up even though he heard Zero’s furious voice. With one sharp tug, Zero had yanked Cody off of me and had him on the floor. Once again, Zero had a dangerous look in his eyes.

“Go. Home.” He growled. Cody scrambled up to his feet – obviously terrified of Zero and stumbled out the door. “What the fuck were you thinking?” He turned back to me. But I was still shaking from the attack. I hated that he had tried to use me like that; that he didn’t care about me in the least – at least not enough to respect that I didn’t want that. Apparently the attraction was purely physical.

“God dammit! You can’t go around trusting anyone!” He said the last part quietly. “Okay, okay… fine. You’re okay, right?”

I nodded, but I was kind of unsure about that answer. Then he reached down and for a second I flinched until his hand made contact with my head and he just ruffled my hair.
For the first time in my life it seemed like Zero might just be a little nicer than he actually lets on.