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The Pros and Cons of Loving
Part 11
Frank’s POV
We pulled into the driveway and Aiden’s eyes lit up. He coughed a bit and had the door opened before Gerard even stopped the car. When the car stopped he got out.
“CANADA MY LOVE MY LIFE! I MISSED YOU!” he got down on the ground, bowing to the house.
Gerard and I exchanged looks, and then got out of the car.
“You okay there, Aiden?” Gerard asked as Aiden lovingly nuzzled a rock.
“Home…” Aiden purred. “Homey homey home. Home home. I love home. Home is home.” He giggled adorably and jumped up, running up the stairs to the porch.
Eric got out of the car, laughing.
“He really shouldn’t be running…” I whispered as Aiden began to cough. The doctors had told us it would be a good 2 months before Aiden was feeling good again.”
“Let him get it out of his system. He’s okay.” Gerard said, putting his hand on the small of my back.
Everyone made their way towards the house, Aiden running. I noticed a small filing folder on the porch swing.
“What’s that?” Gerard asked, going to unlock the door.
“I dunno.” I picked it up and opened it. My breath caught in my chest and I gasped, glancing across the street. I could feel—I just knew Eric looked over with me.
“No…” he whispered, his gray eyes widening. He took off running towards the house, banging on the door. “Mom! MOM!”
“What the fuck?” Gerard muttered.
I thrust the folder at Aiden, who was closest to me, and ran after Eric who was trying to get into his obviously abandoned house. “Eric…. Eric, honey. Stop.”
“S-she wouldn’t! No.” he began trying to force the door open, glaring at it like it was playing some terrible joke on him.
“Eric, please. Stop. Don’t do this.” I pleaded.
“She wouldn’t leave me!” he yelled.
“Eric…”
“Stop saying my name!” he shouted.
Aiden ran up to us. “Baby, come here.”
I expected Eric to yell at Aiden, but instead tears filled his eyes and he ran into Aiden’s arms, sobbing.
“Shh, shh…. It’s okay.” Aiden whispered, leading Eric away from the house. I watched them, feeling awful. I had never hated anyone as much as I hated his mother now. I continued to watch them as they disappeared into the house. The door closed behind them and I slowly made my way to Gerard.
“This… she’s gone?” Gerard picked the folder up.
I nodded. It was all I could do. I couldn’t seem to talk.
“Without even a note?”
“Y-yeah, Gee… she’s gone.” I whispered, taking the folder from him .Inside it was Eric’s birth certificate, a social security card, and doctors records amongst other things.
“Well he’s going to stay with us and there’s no question about that.” Gerard said.
“It doesn’t change the fact that he’s in their crying his eyes our and that he’s hurt… god, I love that kid. Why did his parents have to be dicks?”
Gerard wrapped an arm around me and led me inside. Aiden and Eric were sitting on the couch and Eric was sobbing into Aiden’s stomach. Aiden’s eyes met mine and he gave me this look. It was a mixture of hate, love, confusion, and sadness. I looked back at him before Gerard ushered me out, muttering about giving them some privacy. I silently prayed to God that Aiden could make Eric feel even a little bit better.
It wasn’t likely though and I knew it. It wasn’t every day you came home to find out your mother abandoned you. I was just thankful Eric had been living with us when it happened. Sure, that would have meant Aiden wouldn’t have gone out with Eric that night and gotten so sick. It also would have met though, that Eric and Aiden never would have seen each other again.
I didn’t want to think about what would be going on right now, had Eric still lived with his mother and we had returned home to find them gone… I shuddered involuntarily and looked at Gerard.
That was something much worse… I knew Eric would overcome this just because his mother was such a bad parent. But what would Eric and Aiden have done, had they been separated?
That was something I didn’t want to think about. They really had something special… I wouldn’t want to see Aiden without Eric, just because I know what they have is real.
Frank’s POV
A Week Later…
Things around the house were definitely different and not so much in a good way. Eric and Aiden were, it seemed like, in a constant fuss over something.
Not really fussing… more like they would snap at each other over little things and apologize, but fussing nonetheless. Eric was obviously stressing out and in pain. Every night Gerard and I could hear him crying and Aiden comforting him, every morning they would sleep in and I would drive them in to school late. Every day Eric would come home in one of the worst moods imaginable. He was never rude, but he would sit in a chair and sulk. Or lie in his and Aiden’s room all alone, most likely crying.
Aiden was getting frustrated. He wanted Eric to feel better, but he didn’t feel good himself. He wasn’t sleeping much because he was worried about Eric, which was making him weaker than he should have been.
I was starting to get worried. He hadn’t gained back most of his weight, and it had been 3 weeks since he got out of the hospital. He still had trouble eating as well. I was lucky if I got him to eat one full meal a day, let alone three. And I’m not even there to see him at lunch.
“So apparently Jack has some cold and Bella isn’t coming today.” Gerard said, coming in.
“Oh.” I frowned. I had been looking forward to having Bella, Nikki, and Jack in this house. It was always fun and I figured maybe Aiden would run around with Jack some and be happy.
Maybe Eric would even be happy. I wish I had a way to make him feel better… make him see his mom was scum. I knew in a few weeks, he’d be fine. These weeks getting there, though, were being tough.
It isn’t as if he’s annoying me and I want him to leave. Never that.
It’s just… he’s easily frustrated. He’s defensive.
I can’t say it enough. He just isn’t Eric.
“What’s wrong, babe?”
“I… Eric and Aiden were arguing a few seconds ago… I’m just worried, Gee. Aiden isn’t eating right and I think Eric’s depressed or something… I don’t know what to do to help either of them, I just want to crawl under a rock and hide.”
He pulled me into his arms and I felt him rubbing my back.
“Gee, I don’t know what to do… I usually have some clue but these past few months… I’m just so lost…” I said, trying to put how I felt into words.
“Me too, Frankie. Me too… but don’t let it upset you. This is what raising teens is about, ya know?”
I laughed quietly. “Yeah, I guess so.”
He kissed me gently on the lips. “I love you, Frankie.”
“I love you too, Gee.” I separated from him, going to the doorway to look in on Aiden and Eric who were curled on the couch together.
Silence. That meant not bickering. That was good.
“They’re so cute together, aren’t they?” I asked Gerard quietly, pointing.
“Indeed they are… but no where near as cute as we were.”
I giggled, wrapping my arms around him. “We were the cutest weren’t we?” I said, grinning cheekily.
“Yes, we were. And we still are.” He pressed his lips to mine again briefly, and then pulled away. “I do love you, Frank. You know that, right?”
“Of course I do, Gee. I love you too.”
He smiled and pressed me to the wall, kissing me again…
Aiden’s POV
“Aiden’s back!”
“AIDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
SMACK!
“Hey, Val.” I grunted, sitting up.
Valerie, a 14 year old freshmen whom seemed to adore me ever since I met her on the first day of school this year, got off of me. “Hi Aiden!” she chirped, standing. She shook herself and her red curls bounced. “I heard you died. But I was like ‘That can’t be true because then it would be all over the new--.’”
I clasped a hand over her mouth. “Shush, grasshopper… seriously.” I laughed.
“Aiden, my man!” Someone behind me called.
“Yo!” I answered.
“God, you really know everyone.” Eric said quietly.
I grinned at him. “Funny thing is I’ve been back three days and they haven’t even noticed.”
He rolled his eyes and I got the familiar feeling in my stomach. The one I got when I just knew we were gonna argue. I hated that feeling… and I was getting it too much lately.
I reached down and grasped his hand, but he pulled it back.
I sighed and hugged my friend Brandon who had come up.
“Where’ve you been?”
“I’ve been back three days!” I laughed. “You asked me yesterday in Spanish.”
“I was high. I forgot.”
“I got pneumonia.” I explained. “Apparnelty it lasts many weeks.”
“Oh… dude, kinda like when I got drunk and hungover. The hangover, like… didn’t go away.”
“Are you drunk now, Brandon?”
He motioned towards his water bottle and winked. “Only half way. Want some?”
Eric was talking to Asher, looking annoyed. But in the opposite direction.
I nodded, grinning. Brandon handed it to me and I took a few drinks, then gave it back. “Thanks.”
“Anytime, man. You should come partying with us this weekend. You haven’t been since freshmen year. Since you got with Eric.”
“I know.” I shrugged. “There’s more important things than getting drunk you know—wooah, that shit works fast!”
Brandon grinned and nodded. “Come over Friday night! Or I’ll make you!”
“You’re on!” I giggled, then hiccoughed. Greeeat.
I saw Eric beginning to look impatient. After all, the majority of the people in this group (we had about 25 kids packed into a small hallway) were kids that I hung with before we went out and I got sober. Brandon, a senior, was the first guy to ever bring me to a party.
“Well I gotta go to get my make up work. Coming, Eric?”
“Yeah.” He said, looking grateful to leave.
I hugged Brandon. “See ya at lunch man.”
“Hehe, I’ll be seeing you then. Unless I’m too drunk to find my way.” He giggled.
“That kid reminds me of Bert McCracken sometimes.” I muttered, walking off with Eric. He huffed. “What?”
“I just wish we wouldn’t go there is all. Most of them are stoners.”
“Asher and Brooke aren’t. Val isn’t.”
“Val is 14 and obsessed with you.” He muttered.
“I think she’s cute… and I wish you wouldn’t insult all of my friends. I did know them before you, you know.”
He glared at me. “Being around them makes you want to party and drink!”
“Maybe it does! I’m seventeen years old! My boyfriend is a complete ass to me anytime I even be nice. Maybe I would like to go out with the few people who are nice to me and have fun!” I exclaimed. “And you know what?! You aren’t my dad and you don’t have a say, either!”
His eyes widened and tears filled them. Maybe it was the alcohol in my system—I tended to not be too nice when drugs and alcohol were involved—or maybe I’d just snapped. All I knew was Eric turned and ran into the bathroom, his bang hitting his leg as he ran.
“Eric!” I called out.
He didn’t listen, already inside the bathroom.
“Godamnit.” I said, and just headed for class. If I went in there, it would end up in a worse argument anyway.
LATER THAT DAY….
I was sitting in class, my head lying on the desk, and looking at Eric. He’d been… different. He wasn’t outright rude…most of the time. And I knew she was going through some shit. I didn’t want to sound like I didn’t care. I loved him and I knew he was hurting. But lately he wouldn’t talk to me. He wanted to be left alone. And when I asked him what was wrong he would snap at me…
He never snapped at anyone… especially me. He wasn’t that type of person. And last night we got into our first ever argument… it was bad. Of course within an hour we had made up and were okay again.
But the thing is we weren’t okay.
He glanced over at me and gave me a… nasty look?
I looked away, feeling like my heart had dropped to my stomach. And I was sure that wasn’t a side effect of the medicine I was on.
Frank’s POV
“What is that?” I asked Gerard as we came in.
“Yelling—what the fuck?”
We both rushed upstairs. Aiden and Eric were screaming at each other and both of them looked near tears. They didn’t even notice us and if they did they didn’t seem to care because they were still going at it.
“C’mon, Frankie…” Gerard said, pulling me gently back.
“W-What’s wrong with them?” I asked, shocked. I’d known Eric almost three years now and they had never… never done that. I’ve never heard Eric take even an angry tone with anyone. This… this wasn’t right and it wasn’t good. At all.
“I don’t know but it isn’t our business. Now come on before they notice and think we’ve been listening.” He led me downstairs.
“Aiden’s gonna make himself sick again—he’s just now starting to feel better.”
“We cannot get involved. What if every time we fought our parents got involved? This is something only the two of them can work out on their own.”
I don’t know why, but I felt like crying suddenly. Because Aiden had always turned to me. I was his dad… we were all each other had for years. Gerard and I taught him to walk, talk… and now I realized he was grown up. I wasn’t the person he ran to anymore when he got a cut. I wasn’t the person he ran to when someone hurt his feelings. I wasn’t the person he ran to when he was… in a fight with his boyfriend. He didn’t need me anymore. Hell, he’d been in the hospital for over a month and he hadn’t even needed me then.
My baby boy had grown up. It wasn’t this hard with Bella because… well, I was angry at her over being a pregnant teen. And I still had Aiden to look after, to baby.
But now I don’t even have that and I just want to cry.
“H… He doesn’t need us anymore.” I whispered. It made it more real, saying it out loud.
“Of course he does… but now he’s at that age.” Gerard said.
“Goddamnit it he doesn’t need us for shit.”
“Frankie—.”
“He’s going to be 18 in a year! He’s going to go off to college and… he’s going to be legal in a year!”
“Babe—.”
“I need to lay down.” I said, and then stormed off towards our bedroom.
I slammed the door behind me. I could still hear Aiden and Eric screaming.
And then suddenly it stopped. The house was silent. It was almost like I was the only one home.
I sat on the bed, wondering what they were fighting about. Finally, I heard a noise. Gerard was coming upstairs or someone was going downstairs.
The door opened and Gerard came in. He had a bag of skittles.
“Now come on. That has to make you smile.” He pouted.
I did smile, reaching for the bag. He sat by me, opened it, and handed it to me.
“He is always going to love you and need you, you know?” he asked, running his fingers through my hair.
“Yeah…” I said, wondering if my mom felt like this when I was seventeen. If so, I felt bad for her and wanted to hug her. I had no idea seeing your baby growing up could be this bad. Or why it had decided to hit me so suddenly. “I’m being stupid.”
“No, never stupid.” Gerard rubbed my back gently. I closed my eyes, relaxing against him. “We’ve just had a very stressful two months… everyone has. I’m sure Aiden and Eric are just getting out some pent up frustration.”
“Yeah.” I said again. “I’m sure you’re right.”
Aiden’s POV
“All I wanted to know was if you were okay! You didn’t have to start a huge fucking argument over it!” I snapped. “But fine, whatever. I’ll leave you alone.”
“Then do it!”
I shook my head, throwing myself onto my bed—our bed. I thrust my hand into my pocket and pulled out my iPod. I’d never been angry at Eric… I wasn’t even angry now. I just couldn’t bear to fight with him anymore.
The Smashing Pumpkins’ ‘Bodies’ began to play. Love is suicide. It was kind of ironic. I watched Eric storm from the room, hearing Billy Corgan’s voice. That line kept repeating.
Love is suicide.
Ugh. Maybe we just needed a few hours away from each other. That had to be it.
Eric’s POV
The Next Day…
I threw my backpack down and looked out the window at my old house. Every time I saw my old house, anger filled me. I couldn’t believe my own mother could just… just leave like that. Not even a note. Just a stupid folder with my birth certificate in it.
I didn’t expect to move back in with her. I didn’t expect us to ever resolve our issues.
But I also didn’t expect her to just move away. I didn’t even know where to…
That fucking hurt…
I felt tears stinging my eyes but I saw Frank’s car pull into the driveway and quickly wiped them away, managing a smile when he came in.
“How was school?”
“Fine. How was your day?”
“It was okay, I guess.” Frank shrugged. “Where’s Aiden?”
“Uhm, him and Asher went out.” I sniffled. “I’m not sure where.”
“Are you okay?”
Are you okay? I wish they’d quit asking that. They meant well. I knew that. But it was like they were rubbing it in my face.
“Yeah…” I shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be?” I smiled.
“Because…” he trailed off. “I don’t know.” He smiled as well. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom.”
And then I was alone again. I glanced out the window at my old house again, then shook my head and stormed to Aiden’s room. I threw myself on his bed, grabbed his pillow, and took in his scent. He was all I had… and he wasn’t even here.
Aiden’s POV
I came into the house, pulling my jacket off.
“I’m home!” I called.
“Supper is on the counter! Take out!” Daddy Gee called.
“Okay!” I went into the kitchen.
“You may want to take enough for Eric. He wasn’t hungry when it got here.” Dad said, gesturing towards two cartons of Chinese food.
I nodded, grabbed the two cartons, and walked upstairs. Seeing as my hands were full, I knocked on the door with my foot. Eric opened it seconds later, looking slightly annoyed.
“Hungry?” I smiled.
“Not really.” He sighed.
“Me neither.” I snapped, suddenly angry. I slammed the cartons on my desk and stormed out of my room.
“Aiden!” he called, following me. He was almost pleading. “I’m just not hungry.”
I turned around. “All I’m doing is trying to help you.”
“I know…” he looked down. “Look, let’s just eat…”
I stared at him blankly; well aware my mouth was hanging open. I didn’t care though, I just stared at him. He had never confused me this much. I wanted to be angry with him for the way he was acting, but it was likes like these when he looked down and up at me with teary eyes that made me unable to be angry at him. Instead I nodded and, without a word, went to my room.
I began eating after both of us sat, Indian style, on my bed across from each other. We ate in silence for a long time. It took me ages to eat where I’d gone more than a month eating maybe five meals. Sometimes I still vomit after I eat because I can’t stomach too much food.
He finished, but didn’t get up. I still had half of my food left which is saying something because Eric is a slow eater.
“Eric… I love you.” I said quietly.
“I love you too.” He smiled and rested his knee against mine. “I… Aiden… I’m glad you feel better. I know I’m being selfish… but I love you and I am glad…”
“You aren’t being selfish, hon. You’re going through a lot right now.” I put my food aside and pulled him into my arms.
“Why’d… I can’t deal with it all…”
“You don’t have to deal with it alone, Eric…”
“I know… I love you.” he nuzzled his head into my chest. “I always will.”
A Few Days Later…
Aiden’s POV
I stared at my ceiling, unable to believe what had just happened. Sure, we’d been bickering lately. It was a common occurrence now, it seemed. But we never fought like that. We never got that angry with each other, but this time we had… and I didn’t like it.
My bedroom door opened and I began to feel better. Eric was coming to talk, he’d felt bad too.
“I—… Daddy.”
Gerard smiled at me sadly. “Hey, bud.”
I tried to not look too disappointed. AS far as I knew, neither of my dad’s even knew how much we’d been fighting lately.
A lot.
“Frank and I are going to see Mikey. Do you and Eric want to go?”
I saw me and Eric in Mikey’s kitchen, murdering each other.
“No, I don’t think so.” I sighed.
“Okay. We’ll bring some food on our way home, okay?”
“Alright. Love you.” I said, forcing a smile.
He ruffled my hair, smiled back, and nodded. “I love you too, babe.”
This is as far as I have written. More will be posted shortly.
We pulled into the driveway and Aiden’s eyes lit up. He coughed a bit and had the door opened before Gerard even stopped the car. When the car stopped he got out.
“CANADA MY LOVE MY LIFE! I MISSED YOU!” he got down on the ground, bowing to the house.
Gerard and I exchanged looks, and then got out of the car.
“You okay there, Aiden?” Gerard asked as Aiden lovingly nuzzled a rock.
“Home…” Aiden purred. “Homey homey home. Home home. I love home. Home is home.” He giggled adorably and jumped up, running up the stairs to the porch.
Eric got out of the car, laughing.
“He really shouldn’t be running…” I whispered as Aiden began to cough. The doctors had told us it would be a good 2 months before Aiden was feeling good again.”
“Let him get it out of his system. He’s okay.” Gerard said, putting his hand on the small of my back.
Everyone made their way towards the house, Aiden running. I noticed a small filing folder on the porch swing.
“What’s that?” Gerard asked, going to unlock the door.
“I dunno.” I picked it up and opened it. My breath caught in my chest and I gasped, glancing across the street. I could feel—I just knew Eric looked over with me.
“No…” he whispered, his gray eyes widening. He took off running towards the house, banging on the door. “Mom! MOM!”
“What the fuck?” Gerard muttered.
I thrust the folder at Aiden, who was closest to me, and ran after Eric who was trying to get into his obviously abandoned house. “Eric…. Eric, honey. Stop.”
“S-she wouldn’t! No.” he began trying to force the door open, glaring at it like it was playing some terrible joke on him.
“Eric, please. Stop. Don’t do this.” I pleaded.
“She wouldn’t leave me!” he yelled.
“Eric…”
“Stop saying my name!” he shouted.
Aiden ran up to us. “Baby, come here.”
I expected Eric to yell at Aiden, but instead tears filled his eyes and he ran into Aiden’s arms, sobbing.
“Shh, shh…. It’s okay.” Aiden whispered, leading Eric away from the house. I watched them, feeling awful. I had never hated anyone as much as I hated his mother now. I continued to watch them as they disappeared into the house. The door closed behind them and I slowly made my way to Gerard.
“This… she’s gone?” Gerard picked the folder up.
I nodded. It was all I could do. I couldn’t seem to talk.
“Without even a note?”
“Y-yeah, Gee… she’s gone.” I whispered, taking the folder from him .Inside it was Eric’s birth certificate, a social security card, and doctors records amongst other things.
“Well he’s going to stay with us and there’s no question about that.” Gerard said.
“It doesn’t change the fact that he’s in their crying his eyes our and that he’s hurt… god, I love that kid. Why did his parents have to be dicks?”
Gerard wrapped an arm around me and led me inside. Aiden and Eric were sitting on the couch and Eric was sobbing into Aiden’s stomach. Aiden’s eyes met mine and he gave me this look. It was a mixture of hate, love, confusion, and sadness. I looked back at him before Gerard ushered me out, muttering about giving them some privacy. I silently prayed to God that Aiden could make Eric feel even a little bit better.
It wasn’t likely though and I knew it. It wasn’t every day you came home to find out your mother abandoned you. I was just thankful Eric had been living with us when it happened. Sure, that would have meant Aiden wouldn’t have gone out with Eric that night and gotten so sick. It also would have met though, that Eric and Aiden never would have seen each other again.
I didn’t want to think about what would be going on right now, had Eric still lived with his mother and we had returned home to find them gone… I shuddered involuntarily and looked at Gerard.
That was something much worse… I knew Eric would overcome this just because his mother was such a bad parent. But what would Eric and Aiden have done, had they been separated?
That was something I didn’t want to think about. They really had something special… I wouldn’t want to see Aiden without Eric, just because I know what they have is real.
Frank’s POV
A Week Later…
Things around the house were definitely different and not so much in a good way. Eric and Aiden were, it seemed like, in a constant fuss over something.
Not really fussing… more like they would snap at each other over little things and apologize, but fussing nonetheless. Eric was obviously stressing out and in pain. Every night Gerard and I could hear him crying and Aiden comforting him, every morning they would sleep in and I would drive them in to school late. Every day Eric would come home in one of the worst moods imaginable. He was never rude, but he would sit in a chair and sulk. Or lie in his and Aiden’s room all alone, most likely crying.
Aiden was getting frustrated. He wanted Eric to feel better, but he didn’t feel good himself. He wasn’t sleeping much because he was worried about Eric, which was making him weaker than he should have been.
I was starting to get worried. He hadn’t gained back most of his weight, and it had been 3 weeks since he got out of the hospital. He still had trouble eating as well. I was lucky if I got him to eat one full meal a day, let alone three. And I’m not even there to see him at lunch.
“So apparently Jack has some cold and Bella isn’t coming today.” Gerard said, coming in.
“Oh.” I frowned. I had been looking forward to having Bella, Nikki, and Jack in this house. It was always fun and I figured maybe Aiden would run around with Jack some and be happy.
Maybe Eric would even be happy. I wish I had a way to make him feel better… make him see his mom was scum. I knew in a few weeks, he’d be fine. These weeks getting there, though, were being tough.
It isn’t as if he’s annoying me and I want him to leave. Never that.
It’s just… he’s easily frustrated. He’s defensive.
I can’t say it enough. He just isn’t Eric.
“What’s wrong, babe?”
“I… Eric and Aiden were arguing a few seconds ago… I’m just worried, Gee. Aiden isn’t eating right and I think Eric’s depressed or something… I don’t know what to do to help either of them, I just want to crawl under a rock and hide.”
He pulled me into his arms and I felt him rubbing my back.
“Gee, I don’t know what to do… I usually have some clue but these past few months… I’m just so lost…” I said, trying to put how I felt into words.
“Me too, Frankie. Me too… but don’t let it upset you. This is what raising teens is about, ya know?”
I laughed quietly. “Yeah, I guess so.”
He kissed me gently on the lips. “I love you, Frankie.”
“I love you too, Gee.” I separated from him, going to the doorway to look in on Aiden and Eric who were curled on the couch together.
Silence. That meant not bickering. That was good.
“They’re so cute together, aren’t they?” I asked Gerard quietly, pointing.
“Indeed they are… but no where near as cute as we were.”
I giggled, wrapping my arms around him. “We were the cutest weren’t we?” I said, grinning cheekily.
“Yes, we were. And we still are.” He pressed his lips to mine again briefly, and then pulled away. “I do love you, Frank. You know that, right?”
“Of course I do, Gee. I love you too.”
He smiled and pressed me to the wall, kissing me again…
Aiden’s POV
“Aiden’s back!”
“AIDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
SMACK!
“Hey, Val.” I grunted, sitting up.
Valerie, a 14 year old freshmen whom seemed to adore me ever since I met her on the first day of school this year, got off of me. “Hi Aiden!” she chirped, standing. She shook herself and her red curls bounced. “I heard you died. But I was like ‘That can’t be true because then it would be all over the new--.’”
I clasped a hand over her mouth. “Shush, grasshopper… seriously.” I laughed.
“Aiden, my man!” Someone behind me called.
“Yo!” I answered.
“God, you really know everyone.” Eric said quietly.
I grinned at him. “Funny thing is I’ve been back three days and they haven’t even noticed.”
He rolled his eyes and I got the familiar feeling in my stomach. The one I got when I just knew we were gonna argue. I hated that feeling… and I was getting it too much lately.
I reached down and grasped his hand, but he pulled it back.
I sighed and hugged my friend Brandon who had come up.
“Where’ve you been?”
“I’ve been back three days!” I laughed. “You asked me yesterday in Spanish.”
“I was high. I forgot.”
“I got pneumonia.” I explained. “Apparnelty it lasts many weeks.”
“Oh… dude, kinda like when I got drunk and hungover. The hangover, like… didn’t go away.”
“Are you drunk now, Brandon?”
He motioned towards his water bottle and winked. “Only half way. Want some?”
Eric was talking to Asher, looking annoyed. But in the opposite direction.
I nodded, grinning. Brandon handed it to me and I took a few drinks, then gave it back. “Thanks.”
“Anytime, man. You should come partying with us this weekend. You haven’t been since freshmen year. Since you got with Eric.”
“I know.” I shrugged. “There’s more important things than getting drunk you know—wooah, that shit works fast!”
Brandon grinned and nodded. “Come over Friday night! Or I’ll make you!”
“You’re on!” I giggled, then hiccoughed. Greeeat.
I saw Eric beginning to look impatient. After all, the majority of the people in this group (we had about 25 kids packed into a small hallway) were kids that I hung with before we went out and I got sober. Brandon, a senior, was the first guy to ever bring me to a party.
“Well I gotta go to get my make up work. Coming, Eric?”
“Yeah.” He said, looking grateful to leave.
I hugged Brandon. “See ya at lunch man.”
“Hehe, I’ll be seeing you then. Unless I’m too drunk to find my way.” He giggled.
“That kid reminds me of Bert McCracken sometimes.” I muttered, walking off with Eric. He huffed. “What?”
“I just wish we wouldn’t go there is all. Most of them are stoners.”
“Asher and Brooke aren’t. Val isn’t.”
“Val is 14 and obsessed with you.” He muttered.
“I think she’s cute… and I wish you wouldn’t insult all of my friends. I did know them before you, you know.”
He glared at me. “Being around them makes you want to party and drink!”
“Maybe it does! I’m seventeen years old! My boyfriend is a complete ass to me anytime I even be nice. Maybe I would like to go out with the few people who are nice to me and have fun!” I exclaimed. “And you know what?! You aren’t my dad and you don’t have a say, either!”
His eyes widened and tears filled them. Maybe it was the alcohol in my system—I tended to not be too nice when drugs and alcohol were involved—or maybe I’d just snapped. All I knew was Eric turned and ran into the bathroom, his bang hitting his leg as he ran.
“Eric!” I called out.
He didn’t listen, already inside the bathroom.
“Godamnit.” I said, and just headed for class. If I went in there, it would end up in a worse argument anyway.
LATER THAT DAY….
I was sitting in class, my head lying on the desk, and looking at Eric. He’d been… different. He wasn’t outright rude…most of the time. And I knew she was going through some shit. I didn’t want to sound like I didn’t care. I loved him and I knew he was hurting. But lately he wouldn’t talk to me. He wanted to be left alone. And when I asked him what was wrong he would snap at me…
He never snapped at anyone… especially me. He wasn’t that type of person. And last night we got into our first ever argument… it was bad. Of course within an hour we had made up and were okay again.
But the thing is we weren’t okay.
He glanced over at me and gave me a… nasty look?
I looked away, feeling like my heart had dropped to my stomach. And I was sure that wasn’t a side effect of the medicine I was on.
Frank’s POV
“What is that?” I asked Gerard as we came in.
“Yelling—what the fuck?”
We both rushed upstairs. Aiden and Eric were screaming at each other and both of them looked near tears. They didn’t even notice us and if they did they didn’t seem to care because they were still going at it.
“C’mon, Frankie…” Gerard said, pulling me gently back.
“W-What’s wrong with them?” I asked, shocked. I’d known Eric almost three years now and they had never… never done that. I’ve never heard Eric take even an angry tone with anyone. This… this wasn’t right and it wasn’t good. At all.
“I don’t know but it isn’t our business. Now come on before they notice and think we’ve been listening.” He led me downstairs.
“Aiden’s gonna make himself sick again—he’s just now starting to feel better.”
“We cannot get involved. What if every time we fought our parents got involved? This is something only the two of them can work out on their own.”
I don’t know why, but I felt like crying suddenly. Because Aiden had always turned to me. I was his dad… we were all each other had for years. Gerard and I taught him to walk, talk… and now I realized he was grown up. I wasn’t the person he ran to anymore when he got a cut. I wasn’t the person he ran to when someone hurt his feelings. I wasn’t the person he ran to when he was… in a fight with his boyfriend. He didn’t need me anymore. Hell, he’d been in the hospital for over a month and he hadn’t even needed me then.
My baby boy had grown up. It wasn’t this hard with Bella because… well, I was angry at her over being a pregnant teen. And I still had Aiden to look after, to baby.
But now I don’t even have that and I just want to cry.
“H… He doesn’t need us anymore.” I whispered. It made it more real, saying it out loud.
“Of course he does… but now he’s at that age.” Gerard said.
“Goddamnit it he doesn’t need us for shit.”
“Frankie—.”
“He’s going to be 18 in a year! He’s going to go off to college and… he’s going to be legal in a year!”
“Babe—.”
“I need to lay down.” I said, and then stormed off towards our bedroom.
I slammed the door behind me. I could still hear Aiden and Eric screaming.
And then suddenly it stopped. The house was silent. It was almost like I was the only one home.
I sat on the bed, wondering what they were fighting about. Finally, I heard a noise. Gerard was coming upstairs or someone was going downstairs.
The door opened and Gerard came in. He had a bag of skittles.
“Now come on. That has to make you smile.” He pouted.
I did smile, reaching for the bag. He sat by me, opened it, and handed it to me.
“He is always going to love you and need you, you know?” he asked, running his fingers through my hair.
“Yeah…” I said, wondering if my mom felt like this when I was seventeen. If so, I felt bad for her and wanted to hug her. I had no idea seeing your baby growing up could be this bad. Or why it had decided to hit me so suddenly. “I’m being stupid.”
“No, never stupid.” Gerard rubbed my back gently. I closed my eyes, relaxing against him. “We’ve just had a very stressful two months… everyone has. I’m sure Aiden and Eric are just getting out some pent up frustration.”
“Yeah.” I said again. “I’m sure you’re right.”
Aiden’s POV
“All I wanted to know was if you were okay! You didn’t have to start a huge fucking argument over it!” I snapped. “But fine, whatever. I’ll leave you alone.”
“Then do it!”
I shook my head, throwing myself onto my bed—our bed. I thrust my hand into my pocket and pulled out my iPod. I’d never been angry at Eric… I wasn’t even angry now. I just couldn’t bear to fight with him anymore.
The Smashing Pumpkins’ ‘Bodies’ began to play. Love is suicide. It was kind of ironic. I watched Eric storm from the room, hearing Billy Corgan’s voice. That line kept repeating.
Love is suicide.
Ugh. Maybe we just needed a few hours away from each other. That had to be it.
Eric’s POV
The Next Day…
I threw my backpack down and looked out the window at my old house. Every time I saw my old house, anger filled me. I couldn’t believe my own mother could just… just leave like that. Not even a note. Just a stupid folder with my birth certificate in it.
I didn’t expect to move back in with her. I didn’t expect us to ever resolve our issues.
But I also didn’t expect her to just move away. I didn’t even know where to…
That fucking hurt…
I felt tears stinging my eyes but I saw Frank’s car pull into the driveway and quickly wiped them away, managing a smile when he came in.
“How was school?”
“Fine. How was your day?”
“It was okay, I guess.” Frank shrugged. “Where’s Aiden?”
“Uhm, him and Asher went out.” I sniffled. “I’m not sure where.”
“Are you okay?”
Are you okay? I wish they’d quit asking that. They meant well. I knew that. But it was like they were rubbing it in my face.
“Yeah…” I shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be?” I smiled.
“Because…” he trailed off. “I don’t know.” He smiled as well. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom.”
And then I was alone again. I glanced out the window at my old house again, then shook my head and stormed to Aiden’s room. I threw myself on his bed, grabbed his pillow, and took in his scent. He was all I had… and he wasn’t even here.
Aiden’s POV
I came into the house, pulling my jacket off.
“I’m home!” I called.
“Supper is on the counter! Take out!” Daddy Gee called.
“Okay!” I went into the kitchen.
“You may want to take enough for Eric. He wasn’t hungry when it got here.” Dad said, gesturing towards two cartons of Chinese food.
I nodded, grabbed the two cartons, and walked upstairs. Seeing as my hands were full, I knocked on the door with my foot. Eric opened it seconds later, looking slightly annoyed.
“Hungry?” I smiled.
“Not really.” He sighed.
“Me neither.” I snapped, suddenly angry. I slammed the cartons on my desk and stormed out of my room.
“Aiden!” he called, following me. He was almost pleading. “I’m just not hungry.”
I turned around. “All I’m doing is trying to help you.”
“I know…” he looked down. “Look, let’s just eat…”
I stared at him blankly; well aware my mouth was hanging open. I didn’t care though, I just stared at him. He had never confused me this much. I wanted to be angry with him for the way he was acting, but it was likes like these when he looked down and up at me with teary eyes that made me unable to be angry at him. Instead I nodded and, without a word, went to my room.
I began eating after both of us sat, Indian style, on my bed across from each other. We ate in silence for a long time. It took me ages to eat where I’d gone more than a month eating maybe five meals. Sometimes I still vomit after I eat because I can’t stomach too much food.
He finished, but didn’t get up. I still had half of my food left which is saying something because Eric is a slow eater.
“Eric… I love you.” I said quietly.
“I love you too.” He smiled and rested his knee against mine. “I… Aiden… I’m glad you feel better. I know I’m being selfish… but I love you and I am glad…”
“You aren’t being selfish, hon. You’re going through a lot right now.” I put my food aside and pulled him into my arms.
“Why’d… I can’t deal with it all…”
“You don’t have to deal with it alone, Eric…”
“I know… I love you.” he nuzzled his head into my chest. “I always will.”
A Few Days Later…
Aiden’s POV
I stared at my ceiling, unable to believe what had just happened. Sure, we’d been bickering lately. It was a common occurrence now, it seemed. But we never fought like that. We never got that angry with each other, but this time we had… and I didn’t like it.
My bedroom door opened and I began to feel better. Eric was coming to talk, he’d felt bad too.
“I—… Daddy.”
Gerard smiled at me sadly. “Hey, bud.”
I tried to not look too disappointed. AS far as I knew, neither of my dad’s even knew how much we’d been fighting lately.
A lot.
“Frank and I are going to see Mikey. Do you and Eric want to go?”
I saw me and Eric in Mikey’s kitchen, murdering each other.
“No, I don’t think so.” I sighed.
“Okay. We’ll bring some food on our way home, okay?”
“Alright. Love you.” I said, forcing a smile.
He ruffled my hair, smiled back, and nodded. “I love you too, babe.”
This is as far as I have written. More will be posted shortly.