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The Pros and Cons of Loving
Part 13
Part Two.
Eric’s POV
Two Days Later
Aiden and I had agreed to not tell Frank or Gerard. Well, Aiden said and I just shrugged.
Asher hung out with Aiden, Brooke with I. It always seems to work out like that when people split up. They lose friends, split friends. Whatever you call it.
All I know is now Aiden stays locked in his room. I heard him crying last night… We weren’t in different rooms, but I was sleeping on the bed and we’d stolen extra blankets from the hall closet. I think Aiden thought I was asleep, because he just started to quietly cry.
I had never seen Aiden cry, really. Once or twice, not counting the hospital incidences. I felt bad, knowing I made him cry. I don’t know why I suggested we take a break… I was kind of out of my head, I guess.
And I’d oddly felt a lot calmer since breaking up with him. I’d even made out with this guy named Steven today during Study Hall. I’m not gonna lie and say I hated it, but it wasn’t the same as it was when I kissed Aiden. I didn’t see any fireworks, it was more like getting out pent up sexual frustration. I’m also not gonna lie and say I didn’t think of Aiden when we kissed, because I did. It made me feel a little bad, but hey… we are on break after all. Just because he is crying over it doesn’t mean I have to.
Walks home from the bus we the weirdest, because we had to walk together. Sometimes Aiden would try to make small talk, but his attempts always blew up in our faces because he’d start yelling about how I hurt him or something. He whines all of the time now and I really can’t stand it. I just want to… I don’t know what I want to do.
“How was your day?” Aiden asked when we were half way up the street.
“Fine.” I said.
“That’s good.” He whispered.
“Yeah… yours?”
“Excellent.” He sighed.
And that was it. Our conversation fell off to the side as we got to the door. He pushed it open and we went into the once again empty house.
“I love you.”
I looked up and at Aiden, who was staring at me eyes wide. Like he hadn’t meant to say it.
I gulped and looked back at him. “I… I know.” I said before running up the stairs.
“GODDAMNIT!” I heard him shout. “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!”
I slid down the bathroom door running my hands through my hair.
I loved him too… I just couldn’t handle it right now. I couldn’t handle us.
I sighed feeling tears burning the corners of my eyes.
After all he’s done for you… you can’t even say I love you back?
We’re on a break…
So you can hurt him as much as you’re hurting? Is that why?
No…
You’re afraid…. You’re weak. You get one good thing in your life and throw it away.
I… we’re just on break.
Aiden is wonderful…. He won’t be single for long and if you don’t act soon it’s not you he’s going to be with forever.
Yes. He will.
If you loved him… if you wanted to be with him forever… then you wouldn’t be pushing him away.
I pushed my thoughts away, grunting in frustration. I hated this… why were we on break?
Because every time I was around Aiden I felt like shit. Because I feel like I’m slowly dying.
Because you can’t stand the thought that after all you’ve been through, you can finally be happy. You like being miserable, Eric. That’s it. You like it because then people pity you, they like you because they feel bad. If you aren’t needy, Aiden won’t like you anymore.
What am I doing?
Aiden’s POV
A Week Later…
Every time I see him, it’s like my heart breaks again. Three days ago I walked in on him and some Evan guy heatedly making out, Evan’s hands up Eric’s shirt.
I had never been so angry or felt so hurt in my life. An eerie cold feeling seeped through my body and I began to shake. I don’t know if I was shaking because I was scared they would see me, I was scared of him leaving me, or so angry at the sight of Evan’s hands stroking Eric’s stomach.
We were together months before we made out with our hands up each other’s shirts! We’d been split up—no, on break, I reminded myself, for a little over a week.
Walking in on hat… I hadn’t expected it; I hadn’t expected it to hurt so much either. But it did hurt and bad. It was like he ripped my heart out of my chest and into two pieces and then jumped up and down on them for a few years…
Let alone the fact that it was happening in the orchestra room. How the hell did Eric even know where it was?
…
Eric’s POV
I walked into the Art room to find a small crowd of people around Aiden’s desk. I figured he was crying again or showing something off and shrugged, sitting down. Yes, I was curious as to what was going on. But I knew that was what Aiden wanted and I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d won.
“Would you all please go away from Mr. Iero! What is going on?” Our teacher Mr. Barker—a small and odd man who had long dark hair and a huge nose— snapped coming into the room. I was wondering the same thing.
“He can’t breathe, sir!” A blonde girl in my class, named Hannah, said.
I felt my breath catch in my throat. Asher was looking at me angrily from where we were standing.
Mr. Barker rushed forward, pushing his way through the students. “Give the boy room now or you will all receive detentions.” He snapped and most of the kids immediately backed up, but were still forming a circle around him. “Now Aiden, try to take a deep breath.”
I watched Aiden gasp as he took in a breath, feeling scared for him.
“Someone call the nurse and everyone else out now.” Mr. Barker said after Aiden struggled to take in a few more breaths. “Go to the library, I will be there shortly.”
I was glued to the spot. Mr. Barker moved from Aiden and Asher grasped Aiden’s hand, telling him it was going to be okay.
“Mr. Idle, did you not hear me? Everyone bar Asher out now.”
My eyes met Aiden’s as he continued to struggle to breathe.
“You caused this.” Asher snapped. “Don’t act like you care now.”
“Eric, no…” I heard Aiden whimper. “Stay.”
Asher’s words had stung, though, and I left the classroom, completely aware that Aiden was now crying for me.
20 Minutes Later…
I glanced at Aiden’s empty desk. His bag and books were at the front of the room, in a corner on Mr. Barker’s oak desk. They hadn’t let our class in until Aiden was out of the school—being led on a stretcher by three firefighters. A fire truck had arrived before an ambulance and they would be waiting for an ambulance to get there.
I don’t know why I was so worried—why I felt anxious, like my chest would cave. We were on a break, right? He’d be fine and if not… well…
I felt tears stinging my eyes.
If not, who cares?
Gerard’s POV
“We never spend enough time together alone anymore.” Frank pouted, coming in from the kitchen. I was sitting on the couch, reading a book he had give me.
“I know.” I put the book down and opened my arms. “Come here.”
He smiled and got into my arms, snuggling into me. “We need to do this more often, Gee…”
“I know. We’re both just under a lot of blahness with Aiden.” I whispered, rubbing his back gently the way I knew he liked it. Sometimes if I rubbed his back, he’d be asleep instantly.
“I’m worried… I know the doctors said it was normal but its been a while… and I can’t help but think he’s keeping something from us…”
“Baby, he’s seventeen years old. Every seventeen year old keeps stuff from their parents. But you two are so close that I doubt he’d keep anything from you. You don’t have to worr—.”
The phone began to ring.
Frank sighed, getting out of my arms. I watched as he picked up the phone, brushing hair behind his ear.
“Hello… yes, this is… Aiden?... what?.... where at?... okay… okay… no, w-we can go right now… yes…” he hung up, tears filling his eyes. “Aiden’s being rushed to the hospital on Boston Road right now, Gee…”
“What? Why?” I exclaimed, standing up.
“I don’t know why, Gee! We just have to go… we have to get there… oh god, oh god, oh god…”
“Frank, calm down. Lets just go and see what’s going on, okay?” I said, trying not to panic. I knew Frank was panicking enough for the two of us anyway.
“I… I… yeah, you’re right. Yeah…” he grabbed his jacket, slid into his shoes, and ran out to the car. I followed him, not even bothering to lock the door.
We got to the hospital before Aiden even did. We filled out his paperwork and within two minutes, a young woman called us back. Aiden was in the emergency room but a doctor would not see him just yet.
We walked into the curtained off section of the emergency room where Aiden was lying with a breathing mask on.
“Baby, what happened?”
“I don’t know… I just… couldn’t breathe.” He said weakly. “Dad, they said you c-can’t stay when the doctor comes b-because of some regulations… I don’t wanna be alone.” Tears filled his eyes.
“I will be right outside the door, baby…” Frank whispered. “Okay?”
He nodded, wiping his eyes. He had taken the mask off and I could hear him wheezing with every breath he took.
“This won’t take too long, sugar.” I told Aiden, kissing his forehead. I stood back and then watched him, trying to figure out what was wrong… was someone forcing him into things? Was he cutting himself? Was he depressed?
I couldn’t tell by looking at him, though I should. Because he’s my son and I should just know these things. I’m his dad, for God’s sake. Why don’t I fucking know what’s hurting him so much?
I watched Frank coo over him, telling him everything was okay and he had started to look better since we even came into the room, assuring him he wouldn’t be staying over night.
The curtain was pushed back some and a man came in, smiling. “Aiden Iero-Way?”
Aiden nodded.
I grasped his hand and squeezed it gently.
“If you two could step outside?” the man smiled.
We nodded and headed out, hearing the doctor introduce himself.
“Aiden, I am Doctor Jakins. Right now we’re just going to talk…”
Frank’s POV
“Your son is not gaining weight as he should be.”
That is what a doctor said after Gerard and I had sat in the waiting room for three hours. It was now 2 o’clock.
“We… we noticed he wasn’t gaining weight. His doctor said it would just take some time.” Gerard said, squeezing my hand comfortingly.
“We talked with Aiden. We are going to get down to the bottom of this issue. But first, has there been a recent death in the family? Is he under any major stress?”
“No…” I said slowly, feeling very anxious and nervous. I had known Aiden’s eating habits weren’t right… I knew he should be better by now. Why hadn’t I trusted my gut? “J-just normal teenage stress….” I suddenly felt so overwhelmed and tears filled my eyes again. “Is he gonna be okay?”
“Like I said, we will get him eating again if it’s the last thing we do, sir. Now are you sure he would tell you if something were going on?”
“Yeah… he tells Frankie everything.” Gerard said confidently.
“Well he’s on an IV right now but you can see him. He’ll be released in an hour and we’ll send a doctor to recommend you to a nutritionist and a doctor. He’ll need to see them as soon as possible. This resulted from a panic attack of sorta is why I was asking about the stress… teenagers generally don’t have them if nothing is wrong.”
“I… he’s never said anything.” I said, that overwhelming feeling coing over me again.
The man smiled. “He’s in room 67 D right down that hallway.”
Gerard helped me up and we made our way down the bleak white hallway and we found his room within a minute because it was right by the waiting room.
When we walked into the cream colored room, Aiden was sitting up in bed and drinking orange juice through a straw still in his jeans and my old the Smiths t-shirt. I was surprised that thing had lasted two generations, but it had.
“Hey babe.” I let go of Gerard’s hand and ran to him, kissing the top of his head and his forehead. “How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? Are you hot or cold?”
“I’m good.” He nodded. “They said I had a panic attack and that my eating is still bad, Dad… but I am trying. You know that, right? You know I have dad.”
I could see him getting panicky, he looked scared.
“Calm down, sugar.” Gerard hugged him and rubbed his back. “We know.”
“Daddy.” He whimpered, burying his head in Gerard’s chest. Seconds later he was crying hysterically.
“Oh baby, what’s wrong?”
Aiden’s POV
I couldn’t answer so I shook my head and tried to calm my sobs.
I wanted Eric. Why was he doing this to me? Why was he making out with boys who weren’t me?
Thinking about him only made me cry harder
“I think he’s just freaked out.” I heard Daddy whisper. I felt dad’s hand rubbing circles on my back.
If only they knew that I was almost willing to give up once and for all. That I couldn’t bear to be at home because Eric, who had officially broken my heart, was there.
“Shh, babe… its okay.”
I looked up at both of my dads and wanted to tell them so bad. But daddy and Eric were just now getting along and Dad loved Eric like a son. I could never make them hate him…
I took several deep breaths, noggin. Dad was now rubbing my arm and Daddy was humming Sleep, my favorite of MCR’s songs, in my ear.
“See… that better?” Dad whispered.
I nodded, clinging to Daddy like my life depended on it. I desperately wanted, at that moment, to be 5 years old again when my biggest worry was missing Barney on TV.
Two Hours Later…
Eric’s POV
When they got home I was sitting anxiously on the couch. Frank alked in first.
“Eric, we need to talk.”
Oh no… they’re kicking me out.
“Lets go out back, they’ll be inside in a minute.”
I nodded, biting my lip nervously. He followed me outside.
“Eric, is something going on with Aiden? He’s had a panic attack and the doctor wants him in therapy. Is there something he isn’t telling us?” Frank asked, looking desperate.
I felt guilt flood through me. I’d had enough of those before I met Aiden to know how scary they were; how much they hurt. And I’d caused it… Asher was right. He’d been nothing but kind to me and I did this.
“No…” I lied. “Not that I know, no. Is he okay?” I felt even more guilty for lying to Frank… who had taken me in when no one cared…
Frank looked hesitant, and then nodded. “He’s just fine.”
We looked at each other. He knew I was lying and vice versa.
He turned to go in and when his hand was on the doorknob, he turned back around. “Eric… I don’t know what’s going between you and Aiden… but I really like you and… well, it doesn’t change anything. So if you know something… I’d just… I’d really like to know.”
I felt tears fill my eyes. “We broke up…”
Frank closed his eyes and nodded slowly. “… Thank you for telling me, Eric…”
I sniffed. “Yeah…”
He crossed over and hugged me.
I don’t know why, but suddenly I was crying onto his shoulder. “I just… I don’t know… I’m sorry.”
“Hey, listen. You know what I’ve learned from how many times Gee and I have split up?” he asked wiping my eyes.
“What?” I sniffled.
“If you’re meant to be, you’ll be… just give it time. Sometimes a break does you good.”
“I’m still sorry.” I sniffed again, wiping my eyes.
“It’s okay… we aren’t going to kick you out or anything, honey… don’t worry. Fights happen. It’s life.”
I nodded, wiping my eyes again because I had began to cry with relief. He hugged me again for a few minutes.
“I-I’m okay.” I sniffled. “Thank you…”
“Anytime… I’m going to go check on my baby.”
“U-Uhm... Frank?” I asked quietly.
He looked at me. “Yeah, babe?”
“C-could you not tell G-Gerard? I do-don’t want him to…. To hate me.”
“He would never hate you, Eric… but no, I won’t tell him. Okay?”
I nodded and he smiled and we went inside. I followed and saw Aiden at the kitchen table sipping orange juice, Gerard sitting next to him. He looked deathly pale and his eyes looked dead. I’d never seen him like that.
“Hi.” He looked up.
“Hey, how are you?”
“Fine.” He shrugged. “Bye.”
And then he got up and walked out…
Eric’s POV
Two Days Later
Aiden and I had agreed to not tell Frank or Gerard. Well, Aiden said and I just shrugged.
Asher hung out with Aiden, Brooke with I. It always seems to work out like that when people split up. They lose friends, split friends. Whatever you call it.
All I know is now Aiden stays locked in his room. I heard him crying last night… We weren’t in different rooms, but I was sleeping on the bed and we’d stolen extra blankets from the hall closet. I think Aiden thought I was asleep, because he just started to quietly cry.
I had never seen Aiden cry, really. Once or twice, not counting the hospital incidences. I felt bad, knowing I made him cry. I don’t know why I suggested we take a break… I was kind of out of my head, I guess.
And I’d oddly felt a lot calmer since breaking up with him. I’d even made out with this guy named Steven today during Study Hall. I’m not gonna lie and say I hated it, but it wasn’t the same as it was when I kissed Aiden. I didn’t see any fireworks, it was more like getting out pent up sexual frustration. I’m also not gonna lie and say I didn’t think of Aiden when we kissed, because I did. It made me feel a little bad, but hey… we are on break after all. Just because he is crying over it doesn’t mean I have to.
Walks home from the bus we the weirdest, because we had to walk together. Sometimes Aiden would try to make small talk, but his attempts always blew up in our faces because he’d start yelling about how I hurt him or something. He whines all of the time now and I really can’t stand it. I just want to… I don’t know what I want to do.
“How was your day?” Aiden asked when we were half way up the street.
“Fine.” I said.
“That’s good.” He whispered.
“Yeah… yours?”
“Excellent.” He sighed.
And that was it. Our conversation fell off to the side as we got to the door. He pushed it open and we went into the once again empty house.
“I love you.”
I looked up and at Aiden, who was staring at me eyes wide. Like he hadn’t meant to say it.
I gulped and looked back at him. “I… I know.” I said before running up the stairs.
“GODDAMNIT!” I heard him shout. “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!”
I slid down the bathroom door running my hands through my hair.
I loved him too… I just couldn’t handle it right now. I couldn’t handle us.
I sighed feeling tears burning the corners of my eyes.
After all he’s done for you… you can’t even say I love you back?
We’re on a break…
So you can hurt him as much as you’re hurting? Is that why?
No…
You’re afraid…. You’re weak. You get one good thing in your life and throw it away.
I… we’re just on break.
Aiden is wonderful…. He won’t be single for long and if you don’t act soon it’s not you he’s going to be with forever.
Yes. He will.
If you loved him… if you wanted to be with him forever… then you wouldn’t be pushing him away.
I pushed my thoughts away, grunting in frustration. I hated this… why were we on break?
Because every time I was around Aiden I felt like shit. Because I feel like I’m slowly dying.
Because you can’t stand the thought that after all you’ve been through, you can finally be happy. You like being miserable, Eric. That’s it. You like it because then people pity you, they like you because they feel bad. If you aren’t needy, Aiden won’t like you anymore.
What am I doing?
Aiden’s POV
A Week Later…
Every time I see him, it’s like my heart breaks again. Three days ago I walked in on him and some Evan guy heatedly making out, Evan’s hands up Eric’s shirt.
I had never been so angry or felt so hurt in my life. An eerie cold feeling seeped through my body and I began to shake. I don’t know if I was shaking because I was scared they would see me, I was scared of him leaving me, or so angry at the sight of Evan’s hands stroking Eric’s stomach.
We were together months before we made out with our hands up each other’s shirts! We’d been split up—no, on break, I reminded myself, for a little over a week.
Walking in on hat… I hadn’t expected it; I hadn’t expected it to hurt so much either. But it did hurt and bad. It was like he ripped my heart out of my chest and into two pieces and then jumped up and down on them for a few years…
Let alone the fact that it was happening in the orchestra room. How the hell did Eric even know where it was?
…
Eric’s POV
I walked into the Art room to find a small crowd of people around Aiden’s desk. I figured he was crying again or showing something off and shrugged, sitting down. Yes, I was curious as to what was going on. But I knew that was what Aiden wanted and I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d won.
“Would you all please go away from Mr. Iero! What is going on?” Our teacher Mr. Barker—a small and odd man who had long dark hair and a huge nose— snapped coming into the room. I was wondering the same thing.
“He can’t breathe, sir!” A blonde girl in my class, named Hannah, said.
I felt my breath catch in my throat. Asher was looking at me angrily from where we were standing.
Mr. Barker rushed forward, pushing his way through the students. “Give the boy room now or you will all receive detentions.” He snapped and most of the kids immediately backed up, but were still forming a circle around him. “Now Aiden, try to take a deep breath.”
I watched Aiden gasp as he took in a breath, feeling scared for him.
“Someone call the nurse and everyone else out now.” Mr. Barker said after Aiden struggled to take in a few more breaths. “Go to the library, I will be there shortly.”
I was glued to the spot. Mr. Barker moved from Aiden and Asher grasped Aiden’s hand, telling him it was going to be okay.
“Mr. Idle, did you not hear me? Everyone bar Asher out now.”
My eyes met Aiden’s as he continued to struggle to breathe.
“You caused this.” Asher snapped. “Don’t act like you care now.”
“Eric, no…” I heard Aiden whimper. “Stay.”
Asher’s words had stung, though, and I left the classroom, completely aware that Aiden was now crying for me.
20 Minutes Later…
I glanced at Aiden’s empty desk. His bag and books were at the front of the room, in a corner on Mr. Barker’s oak desk. They hadn’t let our class in until Aiden was out of the school—being led on a stretcher by three firefighters. A fire truck had arrived before an ambulance and they would be waiting for an ambulance to get there.
I don’t know why I was so worried—why I felt anxious, like my chest would cave. We were on a break, right? He’d be fine and if not… well…
I felt tears stinging my eyes.
If not, who cares?
Gerard’s POV
“We never spend enough time together alone anymore.” Frank pouted, coming in from the kitchen. I was sitting on the couch, reading a book he had give me.
“I know.” I put the book down and opened my arms. “Come here.”
He smiled and got into my arms, snuggling into me. “We need to do this more often, Gee…”
“I know. We’re both just under a lot of blahness with Aiden.” I whispered, rubbing his back gently the way I knew he liked it. Sometimes if I rubbed his back, he’d be asleep instantly.
“I’m worried… I know the doctors said it was normal but its been a while… and I can’t help but think he’s keeping something from us…”
“Baby, he’s seventeen years old. Every seventeen year old keeps stuff from their parents. But you two are so close that I doubt he’d keep anything from you. You don’t have to worr—.”
The phone began to ring.
Frank sighed, getting out of my arms. I watched as he picked up the phone, brushing hair behind his ear.
“Hello… yes, this is… Aiden?... what?.... where at?... okay… okay… no, w-we can go right now… yes…” he hung up, tears filling his eyes. “Aiden’s being rushed to the hospital on Boston Road right now, Gee…”
“What? Why?” I exclaimed, standing up.
“I don’t know why, Gee! We just have to go… we have to get there… oh god, oh god, oh god…”
“Frank, calm down. Lets just go and see what’s going on, okay?” I said, trying not to panic. I knew Frank was panicking enough for the two of us anyway.
“I… I… yeah, you’re right. Yeah…” he grabbed his jacket, slid into his shoes, and ran out to the car. I followed him, not even bothering to lock the door.
We got to the hospital before Aiden even did. We filled out his paperwork and within two minutes, a young woman called us back. Aiden was in the emergency room but a doctor would not see him just yet.
We walked into the curtained off section of the emergency room where Aiden was lying with a breathing mask on.
“Baby, what happened?”
“I don’t know… I just… couldn’t breathe.” He said weakly. “Dad, they said you c-can’t stay when the doctor comes b-because of some regulations… I don’t wanna be alone.” Tears filled his eyes.
“I will be right outside the door, baby…” Frank whispered. “Okay?”
He nodded, wiping his eyes. He had taken the mask off and I could hear him wheezing with every breath he took.
“This won’t take too long, sugar.” I told Aiden, kissing his forehead. I stood back and then watched him, trying to figure out what was wrong… was someone forcing him into things? Was he cutting himself? Was he depressed?
I couldn’t tell by looking at him, though I should. Because he’s my son and I should just know these things. I’m his dad, for God’s sake. Why don’t I fucking know what’s hurting him so much?
I watched Frank coo over him, telling him everything was okay and he had started to look better since we even came into the room, assuring him he wouldn’t be staying over night.
The curtain was pushed back some and a man came in, smiling. “Aiden Iero-Way?”
Aiden nodded.
I grasped his hand and squeezed it gently.
“If you two could step outside?” the man smiled.
We nodded and headed out, hearing the doctor introduce himself.
“Aiden, I am Doctor Jakins. Right now we’re just going to talk…”
Frank’s POV
“Your son is not gaining weight as he should be.”
That is what a doctor said after Gerard and I had sat in the waiting room for three hours. It was now 2 o’clock.
“We… we noticed he wasn’t gaining weight. His doctor said it would just take some time.” Gerard said, squeezing my hand comfortingly.
“We talked with Aiden. We are going to get down to the bottom of this issue. But first, has there been a recent death in the family? Is he under any major stress?”
“No…” I said slowly, feeling very anxious and nervous. I had known Aiden’s eating habits weren’t right… I knew he should be better by now. Why hadn’t I trusted my gut? “J-just normal teenage stress….” I suddenly felt so overwhelmed and tears filled my eyes again. “Is he gonna be okay?”
“Like I said, we will get him eating again if it’s the last thing we do, sir. Now are you sure he would tell you if something were going on?”
“Yeah… he tells Frankie everything.” Gerard said confidently.
“Well he’s on an IV right now but you can see him. He’ll be released in an hour and we’ll send a doctor to recommend you to a nutritionist and a doctor. He’ll need to see them as soon as possible. This resulted from a panic attack of sorta is why I was asking about the stress… teenagers generally don’t have them if nothing is wrong.”
“I… he’s never said anything.” I said, that overwhelming feeling coing over me again.
The man smiled. “He’s in room 67 D right down that hallway.”
Gerard helped me up and we made our way down the bleak white hallway and we found his room within a minute because it was right by the waiting room.
When we walked into the cream colored room, Aiden was sitting up in bed and drinking orange juice through a straw still in his jeans and my old the Smiths t-shirt. I was surprised that thing had lasted two generations, but it had.
“Hey babe.” I let go of Gerard’s hand and ran to him, kissing the top of his head and his forehead. “How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? Are you hot or cold?”
“I’m good.” He nodded. “They said I had a panic attack and that my eating is still bad, Dad… but I am trying. You know that, right? You know I have dad.”
I could see him getting panicky, he looked scared.
“Calm down, sugar.” Gerard hugged him and rubbed his back. “We know.”
“Daddy.” He whimpered, burying his head in Gerard’s chest. Seconds later he was crying hysterically.
“Oh baby, what’s wrong?”
Aiden’s POV
I couldn’t answer so I shook my head and tried to calm my sobs.
I wanted Eric. Why was he doing this to me? Why was he making out with boys who weren’t me?
Thinking about him only made me cry harder
“I think he’s just freaked out.” I heard Daddy whisper. I felt dad’s hand rubbing circles on my back.
If only they knew that I was almost willing to give up once and for all. That I couldn’t bear to be at home because Eric, who had officially broken my heart, was there.
“Shh, babe… its okay.”
I looked up at both of my dads and wanted to tell them so bad. But daddy and Eric were just now getting along and Dad loved Eric like a son. I could never make them hate him…
I took several deep breaths, noggin. Dad was now rubbing my arm and Daddy was humming Sleep, my favorite of MCR’s songs, in my ear.
“See… that better?” Dad whispered.
I nodded, clinging to Daddy like my life depended on it. I desperately wanted, at that moment, to be 5 years old again when my biggest worry was missing Barney on TV.
Two Hours Later…
Eric’s POV
When they got home I was sitting anxiously on the couch. Frank alked in first.
“Eric, we need to talk.”
Oh no… they’re kicking me out.
“Lets go out back, they’ll be inside in a minute.”
I nodded, biting my lip nervously. He followed me outside.
“Eric, is something going on with Aiden? He’s had a panic attack and the doctor wants him in therapy. Is there something he isn’t telling us?” Frank asked, looking desperate.
I felt guilt flood through me. I’d had enough of those before I met Aiden to know how scary they were; how much they hurt. And I’d caused it… Asher was right. He’d been nothing but kind to me and I did this.
“No…” I lied. “Not that I know, no. Is he okay?” I felt even more guilty for lying to Frank… who had taken me in when no one cared…
Frank looked hesitant, and then nodded. “He’s just fine.”
We looked at each other. He knew I was lying and vice versa.
He turned to go in and when his hand was on the doorknob, he turned back around. “Eric… I don’t know what’s going between you and Aiden… but I really like you and… well, it doesn’t change anything. So if you know something… I’d just… I’d really like to know.”
I felt tears fill my eyes. “We broke up…”
Frank closed his eyes and nodded slowly. “… Thank you for telling me, Eric…”
I sniffed. “Yeah…”
He crossed over and hugged me.
I don’t know why, but suddenly I was crying onto his shoulder. “I just… I don’t know… I’m sorry.”
“Hey, listen. You know what I’ve learned from how many times Gee and I have split up?” he asked wiping my eyes.
“What?” I sniffled.
“If you’re meant to be, you’ll be… just give it time. Sometimes a break does you good.”
“I’m still sorry.” I sniffed again, wiping my eyes.
“It’s okay… we aren’t going to kick you out or anything, honey… don’t worry. Fights happen. It’s life.”
I nodded, wiping my eyes again because I had began to cry with relief. He hugged me again for a few minutes.
“I-I’m okay.” I sniffled. “Thank you…”
“Anytime… I’m going to go check on my baby.”
“U-Uhm... Frank?” I asked quietly.
He looked at me. “Yeah, babe?”
“C-could you not tell G-Gerard? I do-don’t want him to…. To hate me.”
“He would never hate you, Eric… but no, I won’t tell him. Okay?”
I nodded and he smiled and we went inside. I followed and saw Aiden at the kitchen table sipping orange juice, Gerard sitting next to him. He looked deathly pale and his eyes looked dead. I’d never seen him like that.
“Hi.” He looked up.
“Hey, how are you?”
“Fine.” He shrugged. “Bye.”
And then he got up and walked out…