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The Pros and Cons of Loving
Part 35
Aiden’s POV
I felt bad for going off on Eric, I really did. I couldn’t take it anymore though. I know I shouldn’t be taking my shit out on him. I do care about what he says and thinks about me going. I want, so badly, for him to be happy for me but I know he can’t be. He’s been left all of his life and….
Oh god.
I’m a mother fucking idiot.
No wonder he’s being extra sensitive about this.
His father left him after some guy rapes him. Then his mother, already unstable enough, leaves him with some random ass who tried to beat him.
Now I, his fiancé, am planning to go to another country.
What, was he going to just wait for me? How could we even make it work?
I began to cry in frustration. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed.
I hated the fact that everyone now thought of me as Gerard Way’s son. I hated the fact that I now had excellent grades but no time to go hanging out with Asher. I hated that Dad is so proud that I’m going off on my own, yet here I am scared to death. I want to go to New York so bad. I really and truly do.
But… leave Eric?
I can’t just leave Eric. He’s what’s keeping me alive. I’m what’s keeping him alive.
Eric’s POV
I pushed our bedroom door open and saw Aiden sitting on our bed, his knees pulled up to his chest. His shoulders shook and I heard his sobs.
“Aiden.” I gasped, rushing over. I climbed onto the bed, pulling him into my arms. “Aiden, baby. What is it?”
He shook his head, still crying. His face was red from it and the salty tears poured down his cheeks. I reached for a Kleenex, still holding him with one arm. I grabbed two and wiped his face with one, then his nose with the other. I then threw them on the floor, rocking him back and fourth.
“I’m scared.” He sobbed. “I hate it and I’m scared.”
“Shh shh shh… what are you scared about, babe?” I whispered, brushing his bangs from his eyes. They were filled with such sadness.
“I don’t want to be without you.” He angrily wiped his eyes. “And I… uhm… I want to know why my parents d-don’t love me. W-why they just gave me up… twice.” He took in a shuddery breath. “I have all of this hate in me right now, Eric. I don’t mean to.” He began to sob. “I c-can’t believe I yelled at you like that earlier and t-told you I didn’t care what you said or thought. I do, Eric… I care what you say and what you think. I love you so much. Y-you’re so beautiful and it hates me to know that you think y-you don’t have any friends because… of something so stupid. And I hate my parents f-for putting me in this position of needing to get away and being my own person. If they weren’t famous I wouldn’t even have this need to prove myself. I wouldn’t fucking care and I’d be going to school with you. I h-hate everyone at school for seeing me as Gerard Way and Frank Iero’s love child. I’M NOT THEIR LOVE CHILD!” Sobs wracked his body. “I’m not even theirs…. I’m not even theirs.”
I continued to rock him back and fourth, my heart breaking. “Baby, you are theirs. They love you so much and it doesn’t matter if they aren’t your biological parents. You’ve said that to me so many times. What do biological parents prove? My parents left me too, Aiden. I know how you feel.”
“Your mom didn’t look you in the face and give you up twice.”
“My mom gave me up every time she brought her trashy boyfriends into our house.” I said slowly. “Listen, you should be so grateful for what you have. I know it’s hard to see now, but… you have so much to be grateful for. More than you’ll ever know.”
“I know I do… but I can’t… you just don’t know what it’s like having them as parents, Eric… people don’t treat you differently now. I feel like if I had been adopted by n-normal people, just a man and a woman who weren’t fucking famous rock stars, that…”
“That what? That everything would be peachy? That you would never have a problem? Well, Aiden, I had a normal woman and man for parents and look what I got dropped with!”
“Y-You don’t have it so bad.” He whispered, pulling out of my arms. “I mean… I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Eric.”
“Well I do!” I snapped. “You should be so thankful that Gerard and Frank took you in. You never went to bed hungry, you have always had two parents who love you more than anything.”
“They aren’t my parents!” Aiden snapped. “They aren’t.”
“Aiden… you’re being so stupid right now. You’re being stupid and down right selfish.”
“I know.” He began to cry again. “I know and I’m sorry.”
I sighed, pulling him back into my arms. “It’s okay, Aiden… shh, its okay.”
I felt bad for going off on Eric, I really did. I couldn’t take it anymore though. I know I shouldn’t be taking my shit out on him. I do care about what he says and thinks about me going. I want, so badly, for him to be happy for me but I know he can’t be. He’s been left all of his life and….
Oh god.
I’m a mother fucking idiot.
No wonder he’s being extra sensitive about this.
His father left him after some guy rapes him. Then his mother, already unstable enough, leaves him with some random ass who tried to beat him.
Now I, his fiancé, am planning to go to another country.
What, was he going to just wait for me? How could we even make it work?
I began to cry in frustration. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed.
I hated the fact that everyone now thought of me as Gerard Way’s son. I hated the fact that I now had excellent grades but no time to go hanging out with Asher. I hated that Dad is so proud that I’m going off on my own, yet here I am scared to death. I want to go to New York so bad. I really and truly do.
But… leave Eric?
I can’t just leave Eric. He’s what’s keeping me alive. I’m what’s keeping him alive.
Eric’s POV
I pushed our bedroom door open and saw Aiden sitting on our bed, his knees pulled up to his chest. His shoulders shook and I heard his sobs.
“Aiden.” I gasped, rushing over. I climbed onto the bed, pulling him into my arms. “Aiden, baby. What is it?”
He shook his head, still crying. His face was red from it and the salty tears poured down his cheeks. I reached for a Kleenex, still holding him with one arm. I grabbed two and wiped his face with one, then his nose with the other. I then threw them on the floor, rocking him back and fourth.
“I’m scared.” He sobbed. “I hate it and I’m scared.”
“Shh shh shh… what are you scared about, babe?” I whispered, brushing his bangs from his eyes. They were filled with such sadness.
“I don’t want to be without you.” He angrily wiped his eyes. “And I… uhm… I want to know why my parents d-don’t love me. W-why they just gave me up… twice.” He took in a shuddery breath. “I have all of this hate in me right now, Eric. I don’t mean to.” He began to sob. “I c-can’t believe I yelled at you like that earlier and t-told you I didn’t care what you said or thought. I do, Eric… I care what you say and what you think. I love you so much. Y-you’re so beautiful and it hates me to know that you think y-you don’t have any friends because… of something so stupid. And I hate my parents f-for putting me in this position of needing to get away and being my own person. If they weren’t famous I wouldn’t even have this need to prove myself. I wouldn’t fucking care and I’d be going to school with you. I h-hate everyone at school for seeing me as Gerard Way and Frank Iero’s love child. I’M NOT THEIR LOVE CHILD!” Sobs wracked his body. “I’m not even theirs…. I’m not even theirs.”
I continued to rock him back and fourth, my heart breaking. “Baby, you are theirs. They love you so much and it doesn’t matter if they aren’t your biological parents. You’ve said that to me so many times. What do biological parents prove? My parents left me too, Aiden. I know how you feel.”
“Your mom didn’t look you in the face and give you up twice.”
“My mom gave me up every time she brought her trashy boyfriends into our house.” I said slowly. “Listen, you should be so grateful for what you have. I know it’s hard to see now, but… you have so much to be grateful for. More than you’ll ever know.”
“I know I do… but I can’t… you just don’t know what it’s like having them as parents, Eric… people don’t treat you differently now. I feel like if I had been adopted by n-normal people, just a man and a woman who weren’t fucking famous rock stars, that…”
“That what? That everything would be peachy? That you would never have a problem? Well, Aiden, I had a normal woman and man for parents and look what I got dropped with!”
“Y-You don’t have it so bad.” He whispered, pulling out of my arms. “I mean… I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Eric.”
“Well I do!” I snapped. “You should be so thankful that Gerard and Frank took you in. You never went to bed hungry, you have always had two parents who love you more than anything.”
“They aren’t my parents!” Aiden snapped. “They aren’t.”
“Aiden… you’re being so stupid right now. You’re being stupid and down right selfish.”
“I know.” He began to cry again. “I know and I’m sorry.”
I sighed, pulling him back into my arms. “It’s okay, Aiden… shh, its okay.”