Love and Conspiracy

Once we pulled up in front of Tre’s place, Mike hesitated in the car as Tre bolted out the door, like usual. I put my hand on his, giving him a concerned look.

“Something’s wrong,” I stated, rather than asked. He shook his head.

“I’m just not feeling very well. I think I might actually just head back home. I’m sure Billie won’t mind giving you a ride back home,” he said.

“Do you want me to go back with you? I don’t mind,” I offered. He smiled, leaning down to kiss me.

“Thanks, babe. But no, I’ll be fine. I’ll probably just go home and crash right away to sleep it off. Go and have fun!” he said. However, I still felt odd about the situation.

“Alright… Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I promise,” he answered. I bit my lip before putting my hand on his face and kissing him. We let the kiss linger for longer than usual.

“Please call if you need anything,” I whispered, becoming really concerned.

“I will, don’t worry,” he replied.

“I love you, Mike,” I said, truthfully. His comforting smile grew.

“I love you too, Lucy,” he said before giving me a final kiss.

I waved as he drove off and I walked towards the house. Once I entered the front door, the worried feeling quickly disappeared.

“Lucy! Come, come. I’ve got it all planned!” Jess yelled before I could say anything. She grabbed my hand and took me out to the backyard. Candles were lit and there was a small bucket with ice and beers in it.

“Wow, I would’ve dressed nicer if I knew it was going to be a date!” I joked as I sat down on the grass with her. She laughed with me.

“Well, I figured we needed to have a little girl talk, without the guys hanging around,” she said turning towards me. “So, tell me everything I’ve been missing out on!”

Oh, well you know, Billie and I have a thing now. I thought to myself. “Uh, nothing really. It’s been pretty much the same,” I answered not very convincingly.

“Come on, Luce! Must I have to ask specific questions?” she asked. I shrugged before awkwardly laughing. She gave me a blank look before continuing, “Okay, I’ll start with the easiest. How are you and Mike doing, seriously?” I hesitated, thinking about how strange he was acting before.

“We’re doing alright, I guess,” I kept it short.

“Alright?” she pushed, “You’re supposed to tell me what’s really going on in that mind of yours!”

“Well, I don’t know. I feel it’s a little awkward between me and Mike now. I mean… I love him with all my heart, but ever since the party it’s been different,” I admitted.

“Maybe you just need to give it a little more time before you start to get back to normal again. It hasn’t been that long, yet.”

“I guess so. I’m not really sure what to expect,” I said with hesitation, “But whatever happens, I pretty much owe him my life for bringing me here and turning my life around. I’ll always love him for that.” I drifted off into space, letting my mind wander. It must have been a while before Jess said something.

“Luce, I know there’s something you’re not telling me. It’s okay to open up to me; no matter what it is, I’ll help you’ll get through it,” she said in a serious tone. I looked over at her.

“I don’t know,” was all I could say before I put my face in my hands and let the tears fall. In seconds she had her arm around me, rubbing my back.

“It’s alright, take all the time you need. But you obviously need someone to talk to,” she said, taking a hand away from my face, “And it’s just your lucky day!” I smiled, not believing how much someone could actually care.

“I don’t know how to tell you; where to start, even.”

“Start from the very beginning!” she said, her full attention on me. I took a deep breath.

“Well, at the party, after I saw Mike and Kat, I ran out of the house in a drunken rage. Billie happened to be outside and followed me to see what was wrong. I cried and vented, him being drunk too, wanted to go knock some sense into Mike, which scared me and I panicked,” I paused for a moment, preparing myself to tell the next part, “You have to promise that you won’t tell anyone, Jess. I don’t even know what to do about it all. And especially don’t treat him any differently after this.”

“Of course not. This is completely between us,” she confirmed.

Okay… Well… I guess I just better come out and say it. “Well, Billie pretty much confessed his feelings for me and he… Well, he… He kissed me,” I said as Jess’ eyes widened.

“What?!” she whispered more excited, than upset.

“Jess… It was the best kiss I’ve ever had in my whole damn life. I mean, I don’t even have words to describe how breathtaking it was! And now… Well, now I’ve found myself having feelings for him,” I said, looking away from her.

“Shit, I wasn’t expecting that. Well, you guys were drunk. Was that the only time you guys kissed?” she questioned. A pang of guilt went through me.

“No,” I said quietly, “We kissed the day after, as well.”

“Ah, sober that time?” she asked. I slowly nodded.

“If I’m to be completely honest with you, I think I’ve had feelings for him ever since that night we went camping. I’ve just been hiding them from myself, not wanting to believe it.”

“Hmm, have you talked to him about this at all?”

“Yeah, I know he has the same feelings. At the moment, we’re just trying to keep quiet about it. I guess not so much now.”

“Well, I’m not breaking my promise. I’m not going to tell anyone about it. Have you told Mike?”

“No… Which I feel like such a hypocrite about it, but that’s why I’ve forgiven him so easily and I’m trying to move on, but I just can’t and now I feel this way with Billie, but I don’t want to tell Mike because I know that it’s going to hurt him especially since it’s his own best friend, at least Kat was just some random girl that no one cares about-” I mustered frantically all into one sentence before Jess interrupted.

“Calm down, Luce. It’s okay, take a deep breath. Step back for a moment and look at the situation. Is this thing with Billie… Do you want it to be serious?”

“I have no idea what I want,” I answered, shaking my head.

“Well, I think that you should eventually tell Mike about it, especially if you ever want something to happen with Billie. Though it may hurt him at first, out of anyone, Mike would be the most understanding about it in the end. And who knows, maybe he feels the same way as you do about the relationship being awkward. But firstly,” she paused, “You need to have a talk with Billie and see what he really wants out of this whole thing. Because there is no need to go end a relationship if it’s just going to create hard feelings between everybody. Is this all making sense?”

“Yeah, it is… I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings in the end.”

“Well, I’d imagine that things are a little blurry right now as far as your feelings go. So, I don’t know, give it some time—maybe a week or two—to see what you really want to do in the love department. Then make a decision on whom you’re going to tell what. But I don’t think that you should keep this a secret forever,” she concluded. I nodded in agreement, surprised at how helpful her advice was.

After we got over discussing the intense situation of mine, we continued on with happier topics and all the silly stories/adventures she had gotten into in the past week. I felt so much better after just a simple talk with her. In fact, we didn’t even need to open the beers.

A couple of hours must’ve gone by before we decided to go inside and see what the guys were up to. Tre was sprawled on the couch sleeping, while Billie and Chris were having a light discussion while watching TV. Billie’s face lit up once we entered the room.

“Hey, I was wondering where you two ran off to,” Chris said, pulling Jess onto his lap.

“Oh, we were just catching up on some things,” she answered simply.

“Why isn’t Mike here?” Chris redirected his attention towards me. The sense of worry came back to me.

“He said he wasn’t feeling good, so he just head home,” I said, leaning against the doorway.

“Aw, man. So that means I have to take you home?” Billie joked in a fake, whiny voice. I smiled at his humor.

“Yes, if you don’t mind,” I replied. He over-exaggeratedly sighed.

“I suppose if I must,” he said as a goofy smile crossed his face and he looked back at the TV.

“Well, you guys are more than welcome to stay still, but I think I’m going to crash,” Chris said.

“Yeah, I think I’m going to join him. It’s been a long day, as you can tell,” Jess said pointing over to Tre. I laughed as she started to get up. “So, Luce. Keep in touch! We need to hang out more; we can’t keep doing this hang out once a week thing!” she said, giving me a hug.

“I will. Thank you, I feel a hell of a lot better now,” I whispered to her before she let go of me.

“No problem, babe,” she said with a smile, “See ya around, Billie.”

“See ya!” he called as she left the room, “Shall we head out, too?”

I nodded, starting to get a really bad feeling in my gut.