Love and Conspiracy

I couldn’t believe that I was looking at myself in an ocean blue dress. I definitely wouldn’t have chosen to wear it any other day, but it’s Jess’ big day; not mine. I was quickly interrupted of staring at my reflection when Jess stepped into the room. She looked absolutely breathtaking in her strapless wedding gown.

“Jess, you look absolutely amazing! No one will be able to keep your eyes off of you!” I said, going over to give her a big hug.

“You really think so?” she questioned, for once sounding a bit vulnerable.

“Of course, honey! I can’t wait to see Chris’ face when you come walking down that aisle. You’re utterly gorgeous!” I told her genuinely.

“Thank you,” she said, as we pulled away from hugging, “I’m so glad that you came back, Luce. I’ve missed you so much.” I could feel the tears wanting to make their way out, but I held them back.

“Aw, come on. I don’t want to cry and ruin all this make up that took forever to apply!” I joked, causing us both to laugh, “Honestly, I wouldn’t miss it for the world Jess. You’re my best friend; nothing will change that.”

“You’re gonna make me cry now!” she teased, “Okay, enough with this cheesy stuff! I need to finish getting everything ready.”

As she went back into the other room where everybody was getting into gear of finishing the last touches on her, Mike slowly opened the door.

“Can I come in?” he asked. I smiled and motioned him in, being the only one in the room at the moment. His eyes widened in amazement as he looked at me. “Wow, Luce. You look beautiful,” he said sincerely as he kissed me on the cheek and hugged me. I blushed from his compliment.

“Thanks, you look really handsome yourself,” I replied, surprised by seeing him in a tux for the first time. He chuckled.

“Thank you,” he said before growing awkward, “Uh, well… I came in here to figure out who’s walking down the aisle with whom.” My body began to tense up.

“Okay…” I said in a shaky voice.

“Since I am technically the best man, it would make sense that I walk with you, but Jess’ friend, Clarissa, asked me to walk with her,” he paused, “Tre was planning on walking with Jess’ sister because he has high hopes of possibly hooking up with her. As for Billie, hell, I think he was just planning on going up there alone.” I started to slowly shake my head. “Keep in mind that no one even knows you’re here yet other than Jess, Chris, and I.”

“You didn’t tell Billie?” I whispered, half shocked.

“Nope. It wasn’t my place to tell him anything. Plus, I think he would’ve pussied out of the wedding if he knew.”

“Mike, that doesn’t help,” I said, feeling the need to sit down.

“He’s just scared, like you are. You’re both afraid of that first moment,” he answered, trying to calm me down, which didn’t help because I was afraid of everything to come after it, as well. He could clearly tell that I was starting to panic. “Well, look. If you really don’t want to walk with him, I’ll tell Clarissa that you’re an unexpected guest. She’ll understand.” I quickly realized how selfish that would be to make him do that.

“No, no, no. You walk with her,” I said with a sigh, “I’ll just suck it up and get through it… somehow.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m not going to rain on anyone’s party,” I said, attempting a smile. Other than Billie’s, I added to myself.

“Thank you,” he said with a smile, kissing my forehead, “Believe me, it’s just a couple seconds down the aisle and then it’s over with.” I forced another smile, but I knew that it wouldn't be that easy. “Should we go see them now, so it won’t be a total shocker to everyone at last minute?”

“Yeah, I guess that would be best,” I said, trying to swallow down my fears. It didn’t help. I was starting to regret going back more than ever.

The church was surprisingly big on the inside, compared to how it looked on the outside. After going through several hallways, we finally came to the room where the group was waiting. I stopped before we stepped into the open doorway.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I said quietly.

“Yes, you can. I believe in you. It won’t be as bad you think, I promise,” he said, soothingly.

“But what if it is?”

“Well,” he paused, “Then I give you the right to punch me.” He managed to crack a smile out of me as I gently pushed him in a playful way. “Come on,” he said, putting his arm around me and we walked into the doorway.

The first person I caught sight of was Chris. He was staring at his reflection while he mindlessly fumbled with his hands. I had never seen him look so nervous before. In fact, he didn't even turn to look when we entered the room.

“Is that Lucy?!” I heard Tre yell before he came running towards me. He captured me in a bear hug, practically squeezing all the air out of me. That was the moment I saw him.

Time seemed to slow down everything to a blur. Over Tre’s shoulder, I saw the blue-haired figured turn towards me. His face looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Our eyes locked for what seemed to last a lifetime. My mind was completely blank; I had no idea what to think at that moment. However, the sound of glass shattering abruptly brought me back to reality like a slap in the face. Tre let go of me to turn and see what the noise came from.

Once Billie was in complete view, I saw the shattered beer bottle lying at his feet. His eyes were still locked on me as everyone was warily watching him, not knowing what to expect. As I nervously avoided eye contact with him, he finally realized what he did.

“God dammit,” he said, looking at the ground and saw that his shoes were covered in beer.

“I’ve got an extra pair of shoes,” Chris said blankly, obviously still stuck in his own stressed out situation. The room grew quiet with tension.

After handing Billie the new pair of shoes, he sat on the chair closest to him to change, his eyes focused on the ground. Luckily, one of the girls sitting on the couch, whom I hadn’t noticed before, said something to break the silence.

“Well, today should definitely be interesting,” the girl said with a slight laugh.

“Oh, Clarissa, this is Lucy. She’s a good friend of ours,” Mike said nicely as he introduced us. However, I could hear Billie quietly scoff to himself from the corner of the room. Just that small noise was enough to make it feel like a stab in the heart, even though I was the only one to have heard it.

As Mike, Tre, and Clarissa started to make small talk to one another, I could feel myself slowly disappearing into the background. All the noises around seemed to soften as I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe. Without thinking anymore, I quickly stepped out of the room. Just leaning against the wall next to the door was enough to let a lot of the tension relax a bit.

At least a minute had passed of me just leaning there and closing my eyes, trying to forget what had just happened. I could still hear the group chatting among themselves when I felt the presence of someone in the hall with me. I opened my eyes and saw Billie leaning against the wall across from me. We stood there in an awkward silence, without saying anything, for quite some time until he spoke.

“Come with me,” he said. I couldn’t even tell the emotion that was in his voice, all I knew was that it still sent me chills hearing him talk.

“Excuse me?” I barely squeaked, not knowing what else to say.

“Just fucking come with me,” he said in a more irritable tone. Without saying anything in reply, I simply followed him down the hall towards the back of the church. “Why?” was all he said once we were far enough away from anyone hearing. Pain was still evident in his voice. It was something that I just couldn’t handle before the ceremony.

“Billie, please,” I said, not able to even look at him. I knew the tears would start falling if I made even the slightest wrong move. “We can’t do this now. It’s Jess and Chris’ day. We need to be happy for them.”

It took all my might to not break down right there in front of him. In the corner of my eye, I could see him run his hands through his hair. After some time figuring that he didn’t know what to say much more than I did, I decided to bring up the only immediate problem.

“I was told that we’re supposed to walk down the aisle together,” I said quietly, still looking at the ground. I could sense him freeze up. “I’ll ask Tre if we can switch. I don’t want to put you through anymore hell with me,” I continued, ending in a whisper. I looked up for a brief moment to see him staring blankly at the wall.

Not being able to take it, I closed my eyes as tightly as I could, hoping that I would wake up from this nightmare. Along with the fact that was the only thing I had left to keep me from crying. However, when I opened my eyes again, he was no longer in front of me. In fact, he was nowhere to be seen.

My heart wretched in pain to know that this was only the beginning to a bad end between us. Clearly, neither of us even wanted to go through this process, so it was probably going to be an awkward, silent tension growing even more.

Not wanting to stand by myself in the back anymore, for fear that I would actually start crying, I head back to the room that the rest of the group was still in. They hadn’t even noticed that me, or Billie, had left the room. However, I couldn’t have gotten back at a better time, for they were getting ready to go in the lobby; ten minutes before start time.

Once we all got in the lobby, everyone was starting to get situated with the person they were walking with. However, there was no sight of Billie anywhere. I figured he would be showing up any second, though, so I decided that I would ask Tre when he wasn’t there to listen.

“Hey, Tre,” I said, walking up next to him, “Would you mind if we-”

“No,” I heard someone interrupt from behind me.

Before I could turn around, I felt a cold necklace being wrapped around my neck. Once it hung loosely, I looked down and saw the glistening crystal hanging from the end. As I gently held it in my hand, not believing that I was holding what I thought I had forever lost, I looked over to Billie next to me. He awkwardly put his hand behind his neck as he tried to hide what looked like a smile.

“Sorry it took so long,” he mumbled, still not looking at me. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and never let go again. However, my thoughts were way ahead of my actions.

“Thank you,” was all I was able to whisper. I couldn’t even muster up the strength to smile.

Not getting the chance to say anything more, we were told to get ready to go out once the music began. I looked at Billie, not knowing what to do, and simply shrugged. As much as I could tell it was awkward for him, he held out his arm for me to wrap mine around. Even though we were touching, it felt like we were worlds away from each other. I still couldn’t even get my mind around everything that had just happened in the previous half an hour.

I hadn’t even noticed that we were halfway down the aisle by the time I came out of my thoughts. I still hadn’t let myself relax, though, and from the way Billie was, I assumed that he hadn’t either.

We finally made our way to the front where Mike and Clarissa were already standing, waiting for the rest. However, when we were supposed to separate sides, he put my hand up to his mouth and gently kissed it before letting me go. I was so stunned by his action that I stood there bewildered for a moment until I saw Clarissa motioning me over. The spot on my hand continued to tingle in the place he touched. That was the first time in my life that anyone had ever kissed my hand like that. It seemed so elegant.

In fact, he made me feel like… A princess.