Love and Conspiracy

We were all gathered inside the bar that we had spent hours in so many months ago; almost as if we had been thrown into the past. However, though I was thrilled to not have to hide my feelings for Billie anymore, I couldn’t help but feel slightly awkward with the whole situation.

The idea of it not being Lucy and Mike anymore was strange, but I knew that I would get accustomed to it soon enough. Plus, having Clarissa along with us definitely took a lot of the tension away.

“Look at Tre! Didn’t take him long to find a hot girl to try his moves on!” Clarissa said drunkenly as she started to laugh. Across the room, Tre was attempting to use his charming words in order to get laid for the night.

“Believe it or not, Tre is actually better with his words when he’s drunk,” Mike joked.

“And how would you know that!” I yelled accusingly.

“Just a good guess,” he casually said, causing us to burst out laughing. It was clearly obvious that we were all beyond drunk.

“Well, I guess he’s tried his moves on everyone, hasn’t he?” Clarissa yelled over the music. I looked over at Billie.

“Are you a victim of his smooth talk, too?” I asked, slightly slurring. He glanced up.

“No,” he said tiredly with a small chuckle. After looking at him for a moment, I realized that he had been quiet ever since we got to the bar. I gently rubbed his leg to reassure that he was okay. He looked up at me with a sweet smile before putting his hand in mine.

~~~

The next hour passed on with the four of us rambling about our stories as Tre eventually left with the girl that he had been making out with. After a while, Mike and Clarissa decided to go dance to the obnoxiously loud music, leaving Billie and I still at the table.

“You wanna get out of here?” he mumbled. I slowly nodded, wanting nothing more than to be alone with him.

By the time we got back to his place, we still hadn’t even spoken a word; however, it was a comfortable silence. It took a few minutes before I found myself on the couch as he reached into the fridge. With a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand, he sighed and plopped down next to me.

“Is everything alright?” I finally managed to say as he offered me the drink.

“Of course,” he said genuinely, “Why?”

“You just seem distant is all,” I said with a shrug. He looked out in front of him as if he were in deep thought.

“It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around this. It’s just so… real,” he said softly, focusing his attention on me.

“Well, did you expect it to be a sham?” I responded literally. A grin formed on his face before chuckling.

“No! That’s not what I’m saying,” he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, “I guess that I’ve just spent so much time feeling sorry for myself that it’s strange for me to accept the fact that I’m actually happy.”

“I suppose I know what you mean,” I slowly answered, looking down at the bottle that was still in my hands. I took a big gulp not expecting it to taste nearly as strong as it was. “That’s disgusting!” I said in between coughs, causing Billie to start laughing.

“People usually take smaller sips than that,” he said as I made a scrunched up face.

“People are crazy,” I slightly mocked him, handing him the drink.

“You’ll get used to it,” he said with a smirk.

He was right.

Before I knew it, we were both drunk again. Somehow in the small amount of time, he had managed to get me sitting on his lap with his arms wrapped around me and his chin resting on my shoulder.

“Billie… Joe…” I said to myself as if it were a statement. I giggled at how strange it sounded to say his full first name.

He carefully pressed his lips to the side of my neck causing chills to run up and down my body. Pleased by my reaction, he continued to slowly place more kisses along my neck and shoulder. I giggled once again.

“You’re so cute,” I said in a slight daze.

“Cute? That’s all I get?” he teased as he continued his kissing pattern.

“Mhm,” I agreed innocently, closing my eyes. He paused for a moment, letting silence fill the room.

“Remember the last time we were left on the couch together?” he growled suddenly into my ear. His breath on my skin was enough to cause me to shiver and pop my eyes open.

“Mhm…” I repeated slowly, remembering the incident clearly, “That wasn’t very nice, Armstrong.” He let out a small laugh at my matter-of-fact tone.

“I beg to differ,” he spoke deeply, gently biting my ear. It took all that I had to contain myself and fight back. I wasn’t about to let him win.

“How would you like it if I got you going, but didn’t let you finish?” I said with an attitude while looking over at him. A devious smile was plastered across his face.

“Never,” he pushed, his eyes darkening with lust.

“Oh?” I said in a mocking tone, pulling his grip away from me. As I briefly stood up, he flashed a slight look of confusion. I returned a smirk, climbing back on top of him and straddling his lap.

The hunger quickly returned to his face as I looked down at him. After hesitating for just a moment, my hands brushed through his hair and pulled his face to mine as my lips crashed down on his. The sparks immediately started to fly.

In a matter of seconds, we were eagerly kissing each other just like we had the first time our lips met. After realizing that he had refused to move his arms from his sides, allowing me to take complete control, I figured I’d have my share of the teasing. As I grabbed fistfuls of his hair, I gently tugged on it while simultaneously started to grind my hips into his lap. A moan came from the back of his throat, causing me to smile in pleasure into the kiss.

His hands slid up the side of my legs and firmly rested them on the curves of my waist. We continued to passionately explore each other’s mouths until we finally decided to separate to take a breather. His warm breath gently grazed my face as our foreheads were pressing against each other.

“What’s your next move?” he spoke in his lust-filled voice against my lips. I looked into the deep green eyes staring back at me.

“Goodnight, Billie,” I whispered before carefully biting down on his bottom lip and pulling away. I quickly stood up and ran towards his bedroom, knowing that he was bound to chase me. I made it halfway across the room before I felt his hands on my hips, turning me around towards him as I uncontrollably laughed.

“You’re not getting away that easily,” he growled before ferociously kissing me again, the taste of the alcohol still on his lips. He slowly backed me up until my back hit the wall and his body was pressed against mine. The room was silent other than our ragged, short breaths of desperation.

As our tongues wrestled each other, he moved his hand down my right thigh and hitched it up to his side. In a swift movement, I was lifted off the ground as I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Without even a thought of breaking our kiss, he slowly carried me into his room before clumsily setting me down on his bed.

My hands found their place back in his tangled hair to gently pull on, causing him to release another moan and rock his hips into mine again. He continued his motion as he finally let go of our kiss and focused his attention on my neck. I couldn’t help, but moan to myself as I felt him move between my legs. Only a simple layer of clothing was coming between us…

“Fuck me,” I barely managed to whisper. He chuckled against my skin before raising his head to look at me.

“What?” he questioned as if he had heard me incorrectly.

“Please,” I muttered with desire, “I want you to be my first.”

With those words, something quickly changed in his eyes. However, he simply leaned his head back down to gently kiss my neck, along my jaw line, and finally lingering on my lips. Once he pulled away, he delicately got off of me so he could lay by my side. A look of confusion and hurt must’ve spread across my face as I looked over at him. He remained silent as his bright green eyes stared at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, realizing how forward I must have come off to him. I immediately started to feel ashamed that I let the situation—and the alcohol—get to my head.

“It’s not that I don’t want to—because believe me, I do—it’s just…” he hesitated as I avoided eye contact with him, still embarrassed about the whole thing.

“Would you have kept going if I didn’t say anything?” I spoke softly. After a moment, he sighed.

“This shouldn’t be how you experience your first time,” he mumbled, not losing his gaze on me.

“So I take that as a yes,” I stated, answering my own question. My insecurity was slowly turning into anger.

“Luce,” he started.

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” I said, starting to feel over-emotional. I sat up so my feet were off the side of the bed and my back was facing him. He was silent for a moment.

“No, I’m glad you did,” he quietly said. I could feel him move on the bed so he was sitting next to me before he continued. “To tell you the truth I’m actually kind of relieved. I can’t tell you how many nights I wasted being a whiny bitch when I thought you and Mike were… you know.” I grimaced as I felt him look over at me. “Anyways, that’s not the point. It’s just… I want it to mean more than a drunken experience. We have our whole life in front of us; there’s no rush in getting this over with,” he paused, “You deserve more than that.”

I bit my lip and stared at his wall, realizing how over-dramatic I was being. He was right, once again. I slowly looked over at him to see a small smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I admitted again, “I’m being ridiculous.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into him. “I mean, I don’t blame you. I know I’m irresistible, but you’re just going to have to wait a little longer.” I giggled, lightly hitting him on the chest. His dumb smile grew as he leaned in and kissed me. We were silent for a moment.

“What would I do without you?” I whispered, closing my eyes. However, I quickly reminded myself that it was only a few days ago that I was an emotionless shell sitting in my room. Though, as if he had read my mind, he kissed the top of my head and tightened his grip around me.

“Don’t worry, that’s all in the past now.”