Sick Little Games

Katherine Murphy’s thoughts began to race once she realized what she said. She mentally slapped herself across the face as ‘what if’ questions and pessimistic thoughts took over her brain. What if he puts the pieces together?

“What the hell are you talking about?” Alex asked taken aback, tilting his head a bit in confusion, “I’m pretty sure I would know it if I met you.” He looked in her eyes, making Katherine feel uncomfortable and put on the spot. Cue anxiety. Cue inability to think.

“I-I knew you in High School,” she stuttered, unaware of what to say, but gained her composure when she realized she didn’t need to tell him everything. “You were a grade ahead of me.”

“That’s why you looked so familiar!” Alex exclaimed, the pieces finally starting to piece together. If that little tidbit made him think he’s got it all figured out, Katherine couldn’t wait until he found out the real news.

“I guess. I never thought you knew who I was, to be honest,” she replied.

“Oh, come on, with that face?” Alex smiled softly at her, and Katherine looked at her feet as a slight blush hit her cheekbones. “You still haven't admitted to what you’re running from,” he added.

“Alex, I’m running from you,” Katherine sighed, “Do you not realize what kind of facts your reputation provides? You can’t make people’s opinions of you change that fast, and mine’s going to be the hardest,” she cut her herself off before she was able to say why.

But Alex was fast to ask it.

“Stop beating around the bush!” he exclaimed, shaking his head and sticking it in his hands. “God damnit, Katherine, I’m trying to show you that I’m not as bad as they say, or as bad as I was in High School. I grew up.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“You didn’t,” he said flatly, “I’m sick of you nonstop cutting me up, okay? What the hell are you hiding?”

It was funny how easily Alex could read her; like a book. Her answer seemed valid to her. Her answer would seem valid to everyone else. Her answer obviously didn’t seem valid to Alex, and she couldn’t stand it.

She started going through the options in her head. She could tell him now, or she could tell him later. Later was sounding like the better option. When he wasn’t clenching his fists and biting hard down on his jaw would probably be a better time, for, if she told him now, she was kind of afraid he’d end up hitting her. She didn’t answer him. Instead, she let the tears stream silently down her face. But Alex was too busy thinking to care, or even be aware of it.

“I really should go now,” she choked out. Then she ran.

-----

Alex Gaskarth let Katherine Murphy walk away from him that night, but what he didn’t know is that he let her walk right out of his life. Everyone was aware of the weird changes in Alex’s life, what they didn’t know is it was all because of Katherine. First he’s happier than normal, then he’s the opposite. His friends were starting to think he was bipolar.

Alex didn’t know what he was. He didn’t know how to feel. All he knew was that he needed to keep writing. Quite frankly, it was the only thing keeping him just the least bit sane, and it was the only reason the band was letting him continue to act like he was acting. Everyone knew not to disturb him when he was writing or All Time Low’s songs would suffer drastically, but Jack was willing to take the chance.

“Alex, what’re you doing?” he questioned as he swung the door to Alex’s bedroom open, not even bothering to knock as he stepped into the room and sit in the chair next to Alex’s bed.

“Writing,” he mumbled, not even bothering to put the pen down. He was plopped down chest first on his plaid bed sheets, looking completely disheveled. Jack walked right over to him and shut the notebook that sat on his bed in front of him.

“No, I mean this!” Jack exclaimed, gesturing towards Alex with wide-open arms.

“What are you talking about, dude?”

“You never sleep, eat, or go out. And I’m sorry, but you really need a shower.”

Alex tried to smile, but failed miserably. “Yeah,” he sighed.

“Come out tonight.”

“What?”

“Come out tonight!”

“No,” Alex stated stubbornly, “Getting shit-faced hasn’t gotten me anywhere so far, and it’s never going to! I’m better off working on songs all night; I’ve got this good one started and I’ll be awesome for the new recor—"

“Where is the Alex I know?” Jack cut him off.

“I don’t know,” Alex sighed, and in all honestly, he really wasn’t sure.