Empty Graves And Shallow Hearts

The club's parking lot was pretty much empty when I got there. It was a little before 4:30. Nobody really was ever there until 5:30, after most guys got off work.

I pulled into a parking space in the back, and hopped out. Two rather large men were guarding the door. As I approached, their hard faces turned to smiles.

"Evening, Ms. M.," one said.

"Hey Eli," I smiled and turned to the other guy, "Hey Mark."

He just smiled back.

"Any trouble today?"

"None at all," Eli responded. "Been a pretty slow day. Now you ought to get inside and get ready. The ladies are waiting for you."

"Alright, thanks guys."

'I guess they're really not in the mood for small talk today.'

I walked in through the big black door, into the hallway outside the dressing room. I knocked and instantly it cracked open, revealing the face of another girl.

"Octavia! You're here!"

'My other name...' It gave me the chills.

The girl opened the door a bit more and turned around. "She's here!"

The other half-naked girls cheered.

"What's goin' on?" I was a bit confused.

The girl who had opened the door, Miranda, grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me in.

"You've been promoted!"

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I sat in front of the lit mirror, after everyone had gone, studying the person staring back at me.

Bright green-blue eyes. Long black hair. Nice evenly toned skin.

I ran my hand down my face.

As I stared myself down, only one word came to mind.

'Ew.'

The tears started. I couldn't help it. I tried to wipe my eyes.

'You're pathetic too.'

I started bawling more, putting my head in my hands. I knew I probably looked pathetic beyond belief.

'You have no life too...'

"Raina?" I jumped at a voice, my belittling thoughts interrupted.

"Raina, hon, are you ok?" It was Brandon.

I couldn't let him see me crying, so I only nodded, not turning around.

The door clicked shut.

'Good,' I thought, 'Alone again.'

But a chair squeaked, being dragged on the hardwood floors.

'Never mind.'

"Rain, baby," Brandon again. His hands were on my shoulders now. He pulled me off the desk and into a hug.

"It's alright sweetie."

I didn't feel like resisting, so I sat there in his arms.

That's the thing I love about Brandon. He knew when to just not ask questions. And when you really needed a hug.

We sat there for what felt like hours, me just leaning into his hug. I only let out a couple sobs. He knew I was crying, but I didn't want to make it obvious in an attempt to keep some sort of dignity intact.

After a bit he sat me up, letting me out of those warm caring arms of his that I loved so much.

"Babe," he whispered, "It's alright."

I couldn't look at him. I just let my head hang in despair, eyes shut tight.

Brandon wouldn't allow this though. With a delicate finger, he gently lifted my chin so that we were more or less face to face. I still kept my eyes closed.

"Babe, c'mon," his voice was still soft. "Look at me. Please?"

I hesitated, but the sound of his voice scared me, so I opened.
The look on his face was one of . . . fear, twisted with worry, and something like anger.
He forced a smile.
I tried to smile back; it probably didn't look like one though.

"There we go." He took a deep breath. "Alright hon. I don't know what's wrong, or what’s been going on. I need you to tell me. Not here, or now, but I'm going to need you to, ok? Just whenever you feel you can. . ."

I couldn't find my voice, but I nodded and tried to smile again.

"Okay." He stood up. "Now fix yourself up hon. Change and get your stuff. I'll drive you. We're going to Kylie's."

With that he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

I turned back to my enemy. Another word came to mind at the sight of my reflection.

'Trainwreck.'

I quickly wiped the smears of makeup from under and around my eyes and patted down my hair. Dissatisfied again with the way I looked, I tried putting my hair in a ponytail and outlined my eyes lightly. I checked again. I still hated the way it all looked, but it worked for the moment. I slipped off my new costume and threw on my sweats and a t-shirt. There was no trying to impress anyone.

I grabbed my bag and headed out. Closing the door and turning the corner, I jumped at the sight of a shadowed figure leaning against the wall.