Vinyl Records:

Abigail was left alone in the city and I knew it. She was alone, well, not quite. She had a new boyfriend. At least that's what she messaged me about. I made a Facebook page, and ignored almost everyone. I didn't feel the need to add her as a friend, and neither did she. But reading their messages, I felt the strange urge to intrude on their friendship. To break what is there already. I still felt jealous of their friendship, how it looked so well in the eyes of everyone.

But it wasn't. I knew it because perfect friendships do not exist. I tried it and now the closest I get to it is feeling at home, safe. Not loved like I need to, but quite close. I knew she wouldn't mind. She didn't have in it her to fight. She had my back, but never hers.

I had fun with Nina. I really did. For the first time I laughed and had a good time without feeling guilty if I didn't or forced to feel happy. I needed a break. A break from this huge town that hides nothing but ugly characters. I guess it's quite sad how my life resembles so much the characters in Gossip Girl. Guess that's why it's one of my favorite shows.

"Let's go to that haunted house." Nina told me, happily. She forgave my imperfections, much like everyone else did. I didn't deserve it and I knew it was only a matter of time before my luck started to change and break and look like one of those nasty horror films.

But I guess I'm stretching this, right? At the best, I could stand up, face the world and it's problems and feel like it was a part of me. Like I was the cause of it as well. I took one cigarette out and started smoking. i gave Nina one too. We both watched the smoke climb up to the sky, before it got lost. I knew Nina couldn't wait to go to that exclusivist school, where she could be anyone she wanted to be. I once craved that too. And I guess every other kid in my former class too.

But I wanted to be among friends. I wanted to not be judged, to be left alone to be. Sure, the old friends knew my past, that was not quite as rosy. My body changed yet again, for my skinniness didn't stick with me. Starving yourself never helps. So I was back to an average one. But I was normal. I wasn't happy. But I wasn't as miserable as I used to be and that was a huge progress in my eyes.

The days went by fast, and I came back to the town I lived in.

"There's a letter for you, Sally." My mother's voice called. I got inside my room and sure enough, there was a letter sitting on the desk. I looked forward to reading it. It was Abigail's hand writing.