It Was The Roar Of The Crowd That Gave Me Heartache To Sing

“Okay, everyone, hit the showers! I’ll go talk to the crowd in a few minutes and let them know why Escape The Fate is going to be running a little behind tonight! But they will make it!” I yelled and made sure to point in the guy’s direction. Robert gave a nice salute, and the other guys were already walking onto the bus. Yeah, there’s nothing like spending a night in jail to make you want to have a shower.

“We’re gonna be nice and let you go first,” Audrey said after I walked onto our bus. Audrey, Tori, and Raven were sitting on the couch and looking exhausted. Paty was in the kitchen talking to Jared, and I could hear Angel somewhere near her bunk.

“No, I’m okay. I took a shower last night, so I’m good. One of yall can go,” I said. Audrey, Tori, and Raven played a quick game of rock-paper-scissors, and Tori happily skipped off to the showers. I was about to walk over to the couch when someone threw open the door.

“Tara!” I turned around and saw Aiden, Jimmy, and Gerard walk inside.

“Hey, guys. Something wrong?” I asked. Jimmy sat down between Audrey and Raven, and I saw Angel walk into the room from the corner of my eye. Her face was red, and she looked ready to kill someone. I felt my skin prickle, and I had to swallow the lump in my throat.

“I thought about not showing you, but you’d find it eventually. There’s one of Matt in there too,” Aiden whispered and held something out. I grabbed the glossy magazine, and Aiden sat on the couch between Jimmy and Audrey.

“Do you know something about this?” I asked Angel.

“I just got off the phone with Casey and she told me,” Angel said. The suspense was killing me, so I looked down at the magazine. It was an issue of Pop Art, a magazine dedicated to the “right bands”. It was less than a piece of garbage in my opinion, and a picture of Kellan and Mercy were on the front cover.

“I have a feeling that I’m not going to like this,” I said and started flipping through it. I saw a few pictures of Mercy and Matt, and I stopped at the next big story. It was an interview between Kellan and one of the magazine’s writers. I skipped the boring intro and went straight to the upsetting stuff.

Jane Wilson: So, Kellan, the readers want to know about your love life. There were rumors that your last relationship didn’t end so well.

Kellan Morrison: No, it was a really messy break-up.

JW: Do you mind telling us what happened? And maybe a little background information?

KM: No, I don’t mind. Her name is Tara Christens, and we grew up together. We were actually high school sweethearts. We had been together since our junior year.

JW: So, you had been together for how many years before the break?

KM: We broke up about a week before our ten year anniversary.

JW: That must have been so hard on you, but what caused the break-up?

KM: Yes, it was very hard. New Years was our anniversary, and we had gotten engaged just a few months before the breakup. Anyway, Tara has always been a very needy person, and she became really upset when I told her that the band was about to make it big. She begged me not to do it because she didn’t want me to leave, and I promised that she could come with me. That wasn’t good enough for her, and I later found out that she had been cheating on me for quite some time.

JW: **gasp!** Cheating? With who?

**Here Kellan clears his throat and has to look away a moment before answering. His reply shocks me, just as I am sure that it will shock all of you faithful readers.**

KM: With the lead singer of My Chemical Romance, Gerard Way. That’s why the reunion tour was started, because he wanted her to.

The magazine fell from my hands and hit the floor, and my eyesight went blurry as tears rose and spilled over my cheeks. My fingers curled inwards, and I had the urge to hit something-anything-and make it hurt. How could he...How dare he...

“Tara?” Raven whispered.

“I have to go.” I turned and ran for the door, and my feet hit the hot pavement in a run. The busses blurred by me as I ran, and I didn’t stop until I was against the building of tonight’s venue. My chest felt tight and it was getting hard to breath. My eyes were clenched shut, but tears still streaked down my cheeks.

“Tara, you have to breathe.” Hands lightly touched my shoulders, and I took a shuddering breath.

“I can’t believe he would...That bastard! Just wait until I get my hands on him!” I yelled.

“You need to calm down.”

“I don’t want to calm down! I want to scream! And hit something! I’m just so...mad!” The hands pulled me forward, but I didn’t want to be comforted. I wanted to be angry.

“Stay still!”

“Dammit, Gee, let me go! Just let me go!” I screamed and pushed against him.

“No.” The simple, quiet-spoken word broke me down, and I dropped my head to his chest.

“It’s not fair, Gerard. He lied about everything, and everyone is going to believe him,” I mumbled.

“Our friends know the truth, and our fans will believe us,” he whispered.

“But it just makes me so angry,” I said and gently pushed myself away from him. Gerard’s eyes locked with mine, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

“What makes you mad?” he asked. I wiped away the tears lingering on my cheeks and pulled a hand through my messed up hair.

“We weren’t even together for the whole ten years. He left me before I ever moved to California. He left me when I needed him the most; he left me the first time I ever needed him for something. I had always stood by his side and helped him fight through everything, but he couldn’t do the same thing. And we were never engaged! I always wanted to get married and settle down, maybe have a few kids. But it was never the right time for him. And as for cheating, I would never do something like that. But you wanna know what the worst of it is?”

“What’s that?”

“He can talk about me all he wants, but he brought the reunion tour into this. I didn’t start this tour for personal gain. I started it for Kristy and all the people out there like her. We started it for all of the fans who needed their heroes back,” I said and wiped at my cheeks a little more. This time when Gerard held his arms out, I walked straight into them. He laid one hand on the back of my head, and the other hand rubbed circles on my back.

“We will beat them,” Gerard whispered.

“You damn right we will. Was Matt’s article bad too?” I asked and tipped my head back to look at him.

“It was about the same. Nothing but lies.” I opened my mouth to ask another question, but my phone started vibrating in my pocket. Gerard removed his arms, and I pulled the vibrating machinery free.

“Hello?”

“Tara, are you okay?” I instantly recognized Juliet’s voice, and I let out a shaky laugh.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s up?” I asked.

“I called Casey and told her everything that happened last night, and she told me about yesterday’s Pop Art magazine. I’m going to interview you and Matt to get your side of the story, and then I’m going to write an article on what happened last night. If that’s okay, of course?” Juliet’s voice was a little hesitant at the end, but I could hear the anger in her voice at the beginning. What had happened pissed her off, because she knew it wasn’t true.

“Yeah, I’m definitely in. You can call Matt and ask him, but I’m sure he won’t mind,” I said quickly.

“Okay. When do you want it done?” Juliet asked. I quickly thought it over and made a decision.

“We’ll do it tonight, on the bus. We’re leaving almost as soon as Escape gets done, so we can do it while we’re on the road. Matt can come too, or you can interview him after we make it to our next stop.”

“Sounds good to me. Talk to you later!”

“Bye.” I snapped the phone closed and shoved it back in my pocket.

“Interview?” Gerard asked. I looked over at him and smiled, and I felt the heaviness in my chest disappear.

“Yeah, Juliet’s gonna do it,” I said and nodded my head.

“You ran off earlier before you could get to the good stuff,” Gerard said and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out the Magazine-of-Hell and tried to hand it to me.

“I’m not sure I want to look inside of that thing again,” I said and shook my head.

“I know, but you missed their photographic proof,” he said and pushed it into my hands. Photographic proof? I’ve always been a curious person, so I looked down at the magazine in my hands. It was flipped open to Kellan’s interview, but it was the page after the one I had read. The entire page was nothing but a picture...their proof...

“Oh my Christ,” I whispered.

“Aiden and Jimmy were giving me funny looks all the way to your bus,” Gerard said. I looked up to see him with his hands stuffed in his pockets, and he wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“How did they get this? Do you remember anyone taking our picture that morning?” I asked. I saw Gerard shake his head, and I looked back down at the picture. I could still remember everything about the moment the picture was taken.

The hotel door rattled closed behind us, and we both paused just in front of it. Last night had been unexpected, and I don’t think either one of us knew what to do. I looked up at Gerard to see him looking down at me, and neither of us looked away.

My hair was still damp from my shower, and I could feel it curling against my shoulder. My hand was still throbbing, but the pain was manageable. Gerard’s hair was all over the place, and he looked slightly paler than usual. There was a laughing child a few rooms down, and I could hear birds singing somewhere. Gerard’s eyes suddenly darkened, and the desolate look in his eyes made me want to hug him despite all of our differences.

My uninjured hand reached up, and I lightly touched his cheek. I can still remember how soft his skin had felt against my fingers, and he had lightly sighed as his eyes closed. I quickly licked my lips and managed to get one sentence out before we went back to our usual selves.

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

That had been the moment where the entire world faded, and we were the only two beings in existence. It was then that someone had stolen our private moment and decided to use it against us. Well, they’re about to be in for a rude awakening. Gerard and I are definitely closer now, there’s no denying that, but we’re not that close. Kellan is going to pay for what he’s done.

“Damn, I look good,” I said and smiled up at Gerard. He smiled back and snatched the magazine from my hands.

“No, I look good. You look homeless,” Gerard said and returned the magazine to his back pocket.

“Hey, give it back! I wanted to read Matt’s article,” I said and made a grab for it. Gerard grabbed my wrist, and I glared up at him.

“Later. Right now I think someone needs to go explain the hold-up to the screaming fans,” Gerard said and looked at the building behind me. It was getting awfully loud inside...

“Fine. But you’re coming too,” I said. He quickly let go of my wrist, but I used my ninja moves to grab his hand and start dragging him.

“Why do I have to go?” he asked as I drug him along. I just smiled and kept on walking. It didn’t take us long to get to the stage, and a random stage-hand ran up to us.

“Thank God you’re here! Can you get them to calm down?” he asked.

“We don’t like our fans calm,” Gerard said.

“Excuse us,” I said and pushed past him. Gerard and I walked out onto the stage, and the crowd instantly went wild. I pulled him up to the mic with me, and I had to lower the mic so I could talk into it.

“So, I’m guessing you know who this is?” I asked and smiled over at Gerard. The crowd managed to raise the noise level a decibel, and Gerard slung one arm around my shoulders.

“I’m sure yall know Tara Christens too!” Gerard yelled, purposefully prolonging the yall. He really is a hater sometimes. I was a little surprised when the crowd started cheering for me, but I just shrugged it off along with Gerard’s arm. As I moved, I realized that I was still wearing my more professional clothes. Oh no, this just wouldn’t do. My fingers made quick work of the buttons on my jacket, and the crowd let out another cheer as my The Used tank top was revealed. I smiled and tossed the jacket into the screaming crowd.

“Alright, everyone, settle down!” I yelled. I waited until the crowd had quieted down, and then I started talking again, “I’m afraid that Escape The Fate won’t be able to make it...” The crowd booed, and I looked over at Gerard.

“Until after their showers!” This time laughter was mixed in with the screams of relief, and Gerard and I started to walk off. One voice carried above the others, and the question caused both of us to pause.

“Are you two really together?!” Gerard and I both looked over our shoulders to see a girl standing in front row, and she was clutching my jacket in one hand. Her black and blue hair was fanned out behind her, and dark eyes were looking up at us.

“You wanna take this one?” I whispered.

“Can I do whatever I want?” he asked as we walked back towards the mic.

“I thought you already did that?” I asked with a smile. He smiled back and then turned to face the crowd.

“Are we together?” Gerard asked and slung his arm back around my shoulders. I let him pull me to his side, and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“YES!” the crowd screamed. Oh, if only they knew how much of an asshole he was...Or how annoyingly insane I was...

“The answer is...NO! We barely get along. It’s a miracle we haven’t killed each other yet!” Gerard yelled with a laugh. The crowd seemed slightly shocked but laughed along with us.

“The truth is, Gerard and I are friends, some days. We met at the beginning of tour, and we kind of started off on the wrong foot. We get along better now, but we’re nothing more than friends. Don’t believe those lying bastards from Mercy’s Prophecy, okay?!”

“O-KAY!”

“And be sure to pick up the next edition of Mindless Vengeance for a personal interview from Tara and Matt!” Gerard yelled.

“It’ll be interesting, and now here’s the Berry Brothers from Avenged Sevenfold to keep you company!” I yelled. Gerard and I ran off the stage, and Jason Berry ran by me wearing a fireman outfit.

“I think that went well,” Gerard said. I nodded my head, and we continued walking. I waited until the noise from the insane crowd was muted, and then I grabbed Gerard’s arm. He stopped walking and looked down at me with a small smile.

“I would never kill you,” I blurted out. I watched as his eyebrows pulled together, and a look of confusion clouded his eyes.

“Umm...thanks?”

“Onstage, you said it was a miracle we hadn’t killed each other yet, and I would never kill you. So...yeah. That’s what I was trying to say,” I mumbled out. Something about this tour is turning me back into a teenager—stuttering and easy to blush.

“I’m pretty sure I’d never kill you too,” he said and walked off. My mouth dropped open as he walked away, and then I sped after him. I hit his back as soon as I reached him, and his arm got a good smack after I heard his laughter.

“I didn’t say anything about torture. That’s still open for business,” I said and walked past him. His forearm pressed against my windpipe, and I got pulled back against him.

“Come on, let’s go find someone else for you to annoy.” I let him lead me outside and sighed. Things were constantly changing, but change wasn’t always a bad thing.

&Matt&

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Matt said. I ran my fingers through my now blue hair and made sure that all the whipped cream had been washed out.

“Do you want only the lies out there? We need to tell our side of the story too,” I said and sat down. The bus gently moved forward, and I leaned back against the booth.

The past few hours had been hectic, crazy, and all the fun we had needed. The Escape boys had ran onto the stage with bright green hair, which they claimed had happened after they got out of the shower. Everyone from Avenged Sevenfold had orange hair, My Chem now had bright red hair, all of the girls on the Purple Bus had purple hair, and everyone from my bus had blue hair. And who had done such a thing to all of us innocents? Well, something like this had to be an inside job. And there were only two people walking around without different hair colors.

Max had nearly ran Aiden and Jimmy down with his chair when the culprits were revealed, and the rest of us were too busy laughing to really care. They had both assured everyone that it would wash out in a few days, so the Escape guys had left for their concert with their green heads held high.

Most of us had decided to join the crowd and just let loose, and that’s when the second fun surprise of the night had happened. I had looked over to see Bert and Audrey laughing their heads off, and that should have been enough to send me running. I stayed put though, and got attacked like everyone else. Whipped cream and silly string had covered the front lines of the audience, and the rest of the crowd quickly picked up on the new trend. If it could be thrown on someone, it went flying. Brian got covered in mustard while trying to save Reina from a ketchup attack, and Dan looked like he had taken a bath in mud.

That was all over now, and we were all back on our busses. The next show wasn’t for a few days, so everyone had a little down-time. Matt was currently on our bus, so he could give Juliet the interview she had asked for. We were both going to do ours tonight, and Juliet was going to send them in as soon as she finished writing.

“Yeah, okay,” Matt said and nodded his head. It was easy to see how uncomfortable Matt was, which was still a little bit of a shock. I didn’t think anything could unnerve the great M. Shadows, but we all have our problems.

“I’ll go first, and I’d like for it to be straight to the point,” I said and smiled across the table at Juliet. We were sitting at the kitchen booth, and Matt leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table.

“Alright, let’s jump straight in. Why did you and Kellan Morrison break up?” Juliet asked. She had a tape recorder laying on the table, and her eyes were focused on mine. Juliet and I were a lot alike; we both liked to use recorders so we could see into people’s eyes.

“The first or second time?”

“So, there was more than one break-up?” Juliet asked.

“The first time was when I was twenty-three and still living in Alabama. And for the record, I was never a needy person. I was always there for Kellan when he had problems, and I hardly ever complained about my own. We broke up because I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and Kellan said he just couldn’t handle it.”

“He basically abandoned you then?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I forgave him for leaving, because I was messed up. We got back together about a year later, when I moved to California. From then we stayed together until last December, so that part was true. We were never engaged though; Kellan said he wasn’t ready to settle down yet.”

“What caused the second break up?”

“Kellan sold out, and his band stopped playing their music and started playing what they were told to. I told him to choose between his music and me. Well, I lost,” I said and shrugged. I twisted my head to crack my neck, and I saw Matt staring at me. My voice had been calm and collected, but I think he could hear the underlying emotion in my voice. People who have been fucked over tend to recognize others like themselves.

“When did you first meet Gerard Way? The man you were accused of cheating with?” That question made me smile, and I lightly shook my head.

“I didn’t meet Gerard until the beginning of this reunion tour. Yes, it’s true that I’ve always admired and respected him. And it’s also true that he’s one of my idols and heroes, but I had never met him until the reunion tour idea came about. I do not believe in cheating, at all,” I said.

“So, everything Kellan said was a lie?” Juliet asked. I thought it all over again and nodded my head.

“Pretty much...We did grow up together, and we dated for a while...but yeah, that’s about it,” I said.

“Matt, are you ready?” Juliet asked. I looked over at Matt and laid my hand on his arm. He lightly covered my hand and took a deep breath.

“I’ll do all the talking, and I don’t want you to ask me any questions, okay?” Matt was looking straight at Juliet, and I really didn’t like the look in his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Juliet said quietly.

“In her interview, Mercy called me abusive, possessive, mean-tempered, and accused me of being an alcoholic and an adulteress. First off, I have never hit a woman in my life. No man should ever lay his hands on a woman for any reason, so I never hit her. I may be slightly possessive over the people I care about, but I was never that way with her. My temper can be short, but I don’t consider myself to be a mean-tempered person. Yes, I will yell at people and get agitated, but who doesn’t? I can drink on occasion, but I am not dependent on alcohol. Finally, like Tara, I do not believe in cheating. There’s no excuse for it, and I’ve never cheated on a woman I was committed to.

“The biggest lie Mercy told was about our relationship. I want to make sure that everyone understands this: We were never in a relationship. We were two people who met up every now and then for a quick fuck, and that’s it. We weren’t even friends with benefits. We met up a few times, and then she wanted a relationship. I didn’t, but she did. You can go to the Orange County Courthouse and see where I had a restraining order put on her because she wouldn’t leave me alone. If anyone was crazy in that relationship, it was her.”

Matt finished talking and leaned back. He crossed his massive arms over his chest, and I smiled up at him when he glanced my way. Juliet looked like she was in a small state of shock, and she gave her head a quick shake. She turned the recorder off and looked across the table at us.

“That was...thank you both! I’m gonna go get started on it right now! We’re gonna try and get it in the next edition, which comes out in a few days. Okay, bye!” Juliet yelled and ran off. Matt let out a deep sigh, and I stretched my arm to pat his shoulder.

“You did the right thing, Matt. Now, why don’t you go lay down in my bunk? You look like you could use some sleep,” I said. Matt’s tired hazel eyes met mine, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Are you sure?” he asked as I slid out of the booth. He followed behind me, and I had to tip my head back to look up at him.

“Yeah, I slept really good last night so I’m all rested up,” I said and smiled. It was true; the middle of Gerard’s back made an excellent pillow. Especially when the room wouldn’t stop flipping.

“Okay, and thanks,” he said with a small smile.

“Any time, big guy.” Matt walked around me and disappeared into the bunks, and I slumped back into the kitchen booth.

“How’d everything go?” I looked up to see a pair of hazel eyes, and I held my arms out. Lee practically jumped into my lap, and I wrapped my arms around him.

“It went pretty good. I think everything is going to work out,” I said.

“That’s good. If you need anything, just show my symbol!” Lee yelled. He tapped the end of my nose and then ran back off to wherever he came from. I started to hoist myself up, but my cell phone started vibrating. I quickly pulled the phone out and read my newest text.

Everything’s going to work out.—Gee

I smiled at the simple message and leaned back in the booth. I seriously hoped he was right.

August

The entire month has passed by in a normal way. All of us girls are staying busy, or making sure that we stay busy. Mine and Matt’s interview came out as planned, and the fans rejoiced when tey heard that they had been lied to. They wanted to believe that we were the good guys, and we were. We all think that something else is being planned, but we don’t know what. Anna spends a lot of her time with Craig, and Reina and Brian are constantly together now. We’ve had a few more whores trying to sneak around after shows, but Patti and Angel are pretty quick to get rid of them.

We keep waiting for something to happen.

September

Things are way too quiet for a tour. Most of the girls seem to be avoiding the guys, and the guys are avoiding us like we actually have cooties. Oh, there’s polite conversation every once in a while but nothing more. Everyone keeps looking over their shoulder, as if expecting the BoogeyMan to be standing just behind us. The entire atmosphere is so tense, but it’s not affecting the performances. The crowds grow in number at every venue, and Casey said she’s getting buried in fanmail.

The waiting continues...

October

There must be something in the air, because everything has just done a one-eighty. Aiden and Jimmy are pranking us again, Matt and Sam are back to arguing about what color the sky is, Reina and Brian have taken pervertedness to a whole new level, Audrey and Bert are scaring all the townsfolk, and everything just feels so normal. Well, normal for us.

Everyone’s laughing and having a good time, and we’re finally putting the party tent to good use again. Wait a second...is that...Yeah, I told Ray and Robert to stay away from Anna’s Special Fruit Juice...Ugh, that does not look sanitary. Frank, Raven, Mikey, Tori, and Juliet are having a hula-hoop contest on top of the bar.

Yeah, things are back to the way they should be. Oh shit...Wow, he looks really mad. Maybe stealing all of his clothes and leaving only a pink tux wasn’t such a good idea. But the pink really does bring out Gerard’s eyes...Well, I gotta run now!

One thing is for certain though...

We’re not waiting for trouble to find us anymore. Because we are trouble.