It Was The Roar Of The Crowd That Gave Me Heartache To Sing

“What are you doing?” I jumped a little at the voice and looked beside me. I had never even heard anyone walk on the bus, much less sit on the bunk beside me.

“Hey, Lindsay,” I said and smiled at her. I pulled my glasses off and set them on the keyboard of my computer, and then I rubbed the bridge of the nose.

“What are you doing?” Lindsay repeated.

“Just a little work. I promised some patients that I would keep in contact through email,” I said.

“You’re working?”

“Yeah. I know setting this up drained everyone’s back accounts, so I decided to keep working.”

“Is that the only reason you’re still working?”

“Not really. I assigned all my patients to other doctors for their regular appointments, but I told some of my…worst patients that I’d keep contact with them.”

“Well, I was told to come get you,” Lindsay said.

“For what?”

“I don’t know. No one knows, except for Raven and Sam.”

“Oh, so they’re going to show that,” I said with a wide smile. I quickly turned my laptop off and scooted out of the bunk. Lindsay stood up beside me, and we both walked off the bus.

“So,, you know what’s going on?” Lindsay asked as we started walking.

“I think so. Where are we supposed to be going?” I asked.

“Party tent. Some of the guys were setting up a TV,” Lindsay said. A TV in the party tent? We were only going to be staying here for another week, so was a TV really necessary?

“Tara!” I felt someone hug me from the side, but their grip was too tight for me to turn my head. The height and bright red hair instantly told me who it was though.

“Hi, Audrey! Where have you been all day?” I asked. She finally let go, and I turned my face towards her. She had a wide smile and was wearing a tiara.

“Bert and I explored the town. I’d give you the details, but it’s better if you don’t know anything. That way if they question you, you won’t have to life,” Audrey said.

“Did you do something illegal?”

“Do you like being lied to?”

“Forget I asked. Where’s Bert?” Audrey pointed, and I turned my head to the other side. Lindsay was having a very serious conversation with Bert, which just made things funnier. Bert had a tiara just like Audrey’s, and he was also wearing a pink tutu.

“Guess what!” Bert yelled excitedly.

“What?” Audrey and I asked at the same time.

“Lindsay’s gonna cut and play with my hair,” Bert said. I looked at his plain black hair and contemplated what colors would work. Audrey walked around me and wrapped her arm around Lindsay’s shoulders.

“You’re a brave woman,” Audrey said seriously.

“Would you like to watch?” Lindsay asked her.

“Definitely.”

“We’ll do it tomorrow, before Escape plays. Now, let’s get to the party tent,” Lindsay said. Audrey grabbed me and wrapped her arm around my shoulders, and Bert skipped ahead of us. We walked into the tent to see all of the girls, and all four bands. Surprisingly, there were no roadies or any other workers.

“It’s about damn time! Where were you hiding?” Sam asked.

“Why would I tell you my hiding spot?” I asked.

“You know, I’m going to get you back for leaving me,” Sam said.

“Leave you? I thought that you were right behind me,” I said while trying to look innocent.

“Of course you did.”

“What are you two arguing back?” Audrey asked and looked between us.

“You’ll see,” Sam said and smiled over at her.

“So, you’re really going to show what happened?” I asked.

“Of course I am. Come on, I saved you front row seats,” Sam said. Audrey and I followed her to the front of the party tent, where a giant TV had been set up. I fell into one of the chairs and leaned my head against Tori’s shoulder.

“Sleepy, hun?” Tori asked.

“A little,” I mumbled. A couple of minutes later Tori shook me away, and I sat up in my chair with a small groan.

“Alright, everyone! Everything’s officially ready, so please enjoy the show!” Raven yelled I’m guessing she had been the one to set everything up, since she had filmed it. I looked at the screen, and I laughed along with everyone else as Sam and I tackled Matt. It looked even more hilarious the second time around. I watched as I ran away, and Matt caught Sam. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Sam wiggled and tried to get down, but Matt’s iron-grip was holding her in place.

“Here comes the good part,” Raven whispered. Matt set Sam on some kind of platform, and then he started pulling on a rope. I watched as Sam went higher up and started yelling down at him. There was a lot of laughter in the background so I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, but judging by the look on her face, it wasn’t good.

“I spent an hour up there,” Sam said.

“I’ll make it up to you, hun/. I promise,” I said and looked over at her.

“Oh, I know you will,” Sam said and smiled at me. It wasn’t one of her nice smiles either…it was one of her evil ones. Everyone around us was laughing and making fun of Matt for being tackled by two girls, while wearing a pink towel.

“Pizza’s here!” Reina yelled.

“Can I offer you some pizza?” I asked Sam. She rolled her eyes and stood up, pulling me with her. We walked over to where the massive pile of pizza was, and I instantly went straight for the meat lover’s one. Sam got her own slice and walked off, and I turned around to see Audrey.

“Have I told you I’m glad I gave you this idea?” Audrey asked and took a bite out of her veggie pizza.

“No, but I’m glad you gave me this idea,” I said and smiled at her.

“I’m glad someone came up with this idea.” I turned my head to see Ray, and I smiled up at him.

“I gotta go find Bert. I think he stole my phone,” Audrey said. I watched her walk away, and then I turned back to Ray.

“So, how do you think things are going so far?” I asked.

“Good, so far. It still doesn’t feel real though, you know?” Ray asked.

“I guess it doesn’t, not for you guys. I can’t imagine what the last five years have been like. I know things were hard on the fans, but I’m sure it was worse for the bands.”

“It wasn’t easy. Everyone dealt with it their own way. I heard that some bands even left and went overseas.”

“Yep. Bring Me The Horizon went back, and they took All Time Low with them. Thirty Seconds To Mars is in Portugal, but they rarely play anymore.”

“Are we going overseas any?”

“Yeah, for a few shows. We’ll be here for the next six months, then overseas for three months, and then back here for the last three.”

“All of this can’t be cheap.”

“Oh, trust me, it’s not.”

“So, how can you afford it?” I smiled over at Ray before answering.

“We’re not your average fans. We’ve got famous writers, famous tattoo artist, models, and even a cage fighter. We can afford it,” I said.

“Wow. What are you?”

“I’m a psychiatrist, and a writer on the side.”

“A psychiatrist, huh?”

“Yep. It’s not the easiest job, but I love it.”

“Tara!” I looked around to see who was calling my name, and I saw Reina smiling at me.

“What?!”

“Do you want something to drink?!” I saw the familiar bottles in her hand, and as much as I wanted to, I shook my head.

“Not tonight!” She shrugged her should and turned around, and I turned my head back to a gaping Ray.

“What?” I asked.

“You don’t drink?” Ray asked.

“Nope, not really. Now I gotta get going. See you tomorrow?”

“Probably.” I said goodbye to a few people on the way out, and then I hurried out of the tent. A few people were hanging around outside, and I stopped to talk to a few of the roadies. After about fifteen minutes, I had finally made it back to my bus. I didn’t make it soon enough though…

My hands gripped the back of the bus as my pizza made a reappearance. I felt a pair of hands in my hair, lifting it, but I didn’t have the chance to turn and see who it was. I finished getting rid of everything in my stomach, and I turned away from the puddle of bile. My hair had been released by now, and I sucked in a dew deep breaths. I looked up and pale green eyes met my own.

“Have you been drinking?” Angel asked.

“What? No, I promise,” I said. Angel walked in front of me and studied my eyes. She must have realized they were clear, because she stepped back and sighed.

“I don’t know if this tour is good for you, especially with that damn party tent.” Angel’s arms were crossed over her chest, and the look in her eyes was more than enough to make me hang my head.

“No drinking, I promise. You know I don’t want to get started doing that again.”

“And I don’t want to see you like that again.”

“You won’t. Trust me on this, okay?” I finally looked up, and Angel’s expression had softened.

“Okay. You know I worry about you, right?” I smiled over at her and stepped around the side of the bus.

“I know.” We walked onto the bus, and I grabbed a pair of pajamas and walked into the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth and fell into my bunk. I didn’t even bother getting under the blankets.

.....................................

I crossed my legs at the ankles and caught my laptop before it fell to the pavement. I smiled at my catching skills, pushed my sunglasses higher up my nose, and started typing again. I had decided to get off the bus for the day, so I was sitting in front of it in my favorite lawn chair. I knew something told me to bring this for a reason.

“Tara!”

“No!”

“I didn’t finish!” I pushed my sunglasses on top of my head and looked in front of me. Audrey, Lindsay, and Bert were standing in front of me, but Lindsay and Audrey were holding a towel in front of Bert’s face.

“What’d you do to him?” I asked.

“I give to you, the new and improved Bert McCracken!” Lindsay yelled. Audrey let go of the towel, and Lindsay pulled it away.

“Bert! You look great!” I yelled. His black hair now had red streaks, and it looked like it had been straightened.

“I know, right?”

“And he has to keep it that way for the rest of the tour,” Audrey said with a wide smile.

“It’s a good thing we have Lindsay,” I said and smiled at her.

“Which reminds me, someone needs a trim soon,” Lindsay and glanced over at me.

“I’m trying to grow it out,” I said stubbornly.

“One little haircut won’t kill you,” Lindsay said.

“It’s very relaxing,” Bert said. I glared over at him before turning back to Lindsay. I sighed and lowered my eyes.

“How about after the show tonight?” I asked. Lindsay squealed and ran over to me. She gave me a quick hug, and then the trio ran off to who-knows-where. I resumed my earlier position of just sitting and doing a little work. A few people walked by, but I didn’t bother to lift my eyes and say anything.

A shadow fell over me, and I loved the absent feeling of the sun. It was really starting to burn, even though I was wearing sunscreen. I left my sunglasses on this time as I looked up, and I smiled at the man in front of me.

“Hi, Jepha!”

“You’re Tara, right?” he asked.

“Yep, that’s me. Do you need any help with anything?” I asked.

“Me and Dan made Quinn all paranoid. He wants to know how we are on security,” Jeph said.

“To be honest, I have no idea. Angel’s in charge of all the security stuff. She’s right inside if you want to go talk to her,” I said and pointed to the giant bus behind me.

“Right in here?” he asked.

“Right in there. Just yell out Angel and she’ll come running.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.” I watched him disappear into the bus, and I started back on my work. I wanted to be finished in time to watch the show tonight.