Super Avenged: Only Human

“Miya, must you always lord that car over our heads?” Matt sighed as Jimmy and I climbed out of my charcoal gray Corvette. I thought for a few moments before nodding happily. He laughed as I gave him a hug.

“You see, Matthew, what you have to do is marry into money,” Jimmy said jokingly. “Then you could have a car exactly like hers without putting yourself into deep financial trouble.”

“You could marry Paris Hilton,” I suggested as Jimmy wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led the way towards the front door.

“Then I would be exactly like Jimmy, except I would be marrying a complete whore,” Matt replied. “Because you’re the Paris Hilton of New York, pretty much.”

“Her dad isn’t a crazy psycho bent on world-revolutionizing, though,” I said logically. “That’s always a plus.”

Remember how I mentioned that my father kidnapped me to create a robot? He thought the robot would revolutionize the world. Really, it just landed him in a prison cell, probably with some lonely cell mate who tries to butt rape him at night. It’s not a pretty image, but hey, someone’s gotta say it.

“True,” Matt agreed thoughtfully. He pulled open the front door, and Jimmy and I walked into the living room.

“Can’t go anywhere without your legs, can you?” Zacky teased Brian. Zacky was sitting comfortably in one of the armchairs in the living room. Brian was floating just a couple of inches off of the ground in the center of the room, and his legs were a blur as he tried to run. Apparently, Zacky was making Brian levitate off the ground using his telekinesis so that Brian couldn’t run away.

“What’s going on?” I asked, watching with curiosity as Zacky watched Brian trying to get away. Zacky looked very amused at Brian’s predicament.

“Brian was making fun of me because of my height,” Johnny answered, walking out of the kitchen. “I know I’m short, but it’s really no reason to make fun of me.”

“Of course not,” I agreed, glaring around at Brian. “Short people rule.”

“Precisely,” Johnny said. “So, Zacky and I are letting him squirm for a bit, and then I’ll retaliate.”

“It takes a few minutes for Johnny to think of something to do,” Brian added. “He’s not known for his smarts.”

“Actually, I’m calculating the strength I would need to slam you into a wall without actually breaking the wall,” Johnny retorted, looking thoughtfully between Brian and the wall. Brian just scowled and continued to try running away, but it still wasn’t working out for him.

Johnny walked over to Brian and nodded at Zacky. Zacky let Brian back down on the ground, but before Brian could escape, Johnny reached out and flicked him in the chest. Brian flew backwards and slammed hard into the couch. It flipped over backwards, and Brian rolled off of it, rolling right into the wall behind it with a hollow thud.

“So not cool, bro,” Brian groaned, rolling onto his back and rubbing his chest. “That was not cool.”

I don’t think anyone else agreed. I was hanging onto Jimmy to stay upright, I was laughing so hard. It wasn’t like Brian didn’t deserve what he got. I think he deserved a kick in a more southern region than his chest, too, but that was just me. That douche bag deserved everything that came to him, and more.

Brian and I really just don’t get along.

“So, I hear we’re pulling a Twilight today,” I said once everyone had stopped laughing enough to get their breath back.

“You bet we are,” Zacky said with a nod. Johnny walked over and flipped the couch back upright, kicking Brian’s leg as he did so. Brian shook a fist at him before clambering back to his feet. “We can head out there now, if you want.”

“Sounds good,” Matt agreed. “We already carried all the equipment out to the meadow.”

Everyone walked out the front door and headed around the side of the house. Jimmy wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we started walking along a beaten path through the woods. I curled my arm back around his waist. After about five minutes of walking and talking about unimportant things, the path emerged onto a cleanly mown meadow. It was about the size of a baseball diamond, maybe slightly larger.

“Okay, the rules,” Matt said. Everyone looked around at him. He grinned. “There are no rules.”

“I might not remember all of those rules, Matt,” I told him. “They’re just so...complicated.”

“You can watch us for a few innings,” Matt replied with a smile. “I’m sure you’ll catch on.”

They were preparing to play baseball, superhero style. Jimmy had explained it to me once, but I knew I needed to see it to fully understand. When they played baseball, they didn’t keep score. They just split up into two groups: one group would be up to bat, and the other group would be out in the field. Everyone could use their power. The people up to bat would get to bat a few times each, and then they’d switch. And then once the second group was finished batting, they would scramble up the teams a bit just to get a different combination of powers and continue playing. It sounded like it would be a blast just to watch.

“Alright, Brian, Jimmy, and I will be in the outfield,” Matt announced. “You three are up to bat,” he added, pointing at Johnny, Zacky, and I.

“Wait, what?” I asked, alarmed. “I’m...I’m not playing!”

Matt just grinned. “You are now.”

“But you guys have superpowers!” I retorted as Matt turned and jogged out into the field. “How can I even compete with that!?”

“You could flash us!” Brian called across the meadow. “That would distract us for a few seconds, at least.”

“No!” Jimmy and I both protested at the same time. Brian laughed, and the other guys were chuckling as well. I shook my head. Those guys honestly needed to get themselves some girlfriends.

“Alright, Johnny, you can be up to bat first,” Zacky told Johnny. Johnny nodded and walked over to the pile of bats. Instead of picking up a bat, though, he picked up a giant piece of metal.

“What the hell is that?” I exclaimed, my eyes practically bugging out of my eye sockets.

“It’s a metal I-beam,” Zacky said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms as Johnny stepped up to home plate. “He breaks a wooden bat if he uses one. He bends an aluminum bat. So we just got him a section of an I-beam, and that’s been his bat.”

“How does the baseball survive?” I asked incredulously.

“We’re still not sure,” Zacky answered.

“You ready?” Matt, who was the pitcher, called. Johnny nodded. Matt pitched him the baseball. Johnny swung, and with a deafening bang, the baseball made contact with the metal. I saw the white blur shoot towards the right of the meadow. Brian sprinted towards it, jumped up into the air, and caught the ball in his mitt. The force of the ball wrenched him backward, and he landed hard on his back on the grass, still holding the ball aloft. Johnny scowled and walked back from where he’d been halfway to second base.

“I used to play baseball in high school,” Zacky informed me. “I could never play in the actual game because of my powers—I could cheat, you know—but I helped the others practice different situations.”

“I played softball for a couple of years,” I replied. “I was the pitcher, but I couldn’t hit the ball too well. But damn, could I ever pitch.”

Zacky grabbed a bat and walked up to home plate. Johnny flopped down onto the grass. Matt pitched to Zacky, who hit it dead-on with his bat. The ball rocketed towards centerfield. Zacky stuck his hands in his pockets and started to walk leisurely towards first base. I frowned in confusion because of his actions, but couldn’t help but laugh when I saw Jimmy, Matt, and Brian all running around looking up at the sky, waiting for Zacky’s ball to drop. Currently, Zacky was controlling the ball to go around in circles and figure eights as Zacky walked calmly towards second base. Jimmy stretched out an arm, trying to catch the ball, but it jerked too spasmodically.

Zacky finally let the baseball fall. Right as Matt’s fingers closed over the ball, Zacky hopped up onto home plate. He grinned around at the three of them, earning rude hand gestures from each.

“You’re up to bat, Miya,” Zacky told me, sitting down beside Johnny. I sighed and walked over to the bats. I picked one out and walked reluctantly up to home plate. Matt pitched it to me, and somehow, I hit the baseball. I set off around the bases, alert for any superpower-y things they would do to me. Jimmy had caught the baseball, but he was just standing there smiling. And then, when I was within ten feet of home plate, I felt Jimmy’s arm curl tightly around my bare leg. I shrieked in surprise as he yanked me up into the air by my leg. Jimmy tossed it to Matt, who calmly walked over and pressed the baseball against my arm.

“You’re out,” he said smugly. I huffed and crossed my arms, still dangling in the air by my leg.

“Jimmy, that’s it,” I snapped sternly as Jimmy walked closer. All the blood was beginning to rush to my head from being held upside down. “That is the final straw. I’m holding out on you now.”

“What?” Jimmy asked, his eyes widening. Before, he’d been smug, but now he wasn’t so happy. “Holding out on me? You could never...”

“Wanna bet?” I interrupted, raising my eyebrows. Jimmy closed his mouth and shook his head. “Then put me down.”

“But it’s funny!” Jimmy retorted.

“Okay. No sex for you then,” I said. Jimmy sighed before slowly putting me back on the ground. I jumped to my feet, dusting myself off.

“I’m sorry,” Jimmy told me quickly. I just shook my head and walked over to sit next to Zacky.

“Nope,” I replied.

“Dude, you just screwed yourself over,” Matt commented as they walked back out into the field.

“I know,” I heard Jimmy sigh. “But it was still pretty funny.”