Super Avenged: Only Human

“Two weeks, Miya,” Jimmy groaned. “It’s been two weeks. Isn’t that long enough?”

“Hmmm,” I said thoughtfully, looking up towards the ceiling and tapping my chin with my forefinger. I smirked, put my eyes back down on the newspaper I was reading, and shook my head. As Jimmy groaned in protest, I turned a page in the paper and began to read about something Paris Hilton had done lately to emphasize her whoreness.

“Miya, don’t make me do something rash,” Jimmy warned. I just giggled.

“Like what?” I asked, turning a page in the newspaper. Jimmy was completely silent. I laughed again. “See? You don’t even know what you’d do.”

In the blink of an eye, Jimmy ripped my newspaper from my grasp, wrapped an arm tightly around my torso, pinning my arms to my sides, and pushed me back onto the couch. He hovered over me, smirking to beat the band. I laughed and shook my head at him.

“Jimmy—” I began, but he cut me off.

“Nope, sorry, he can’t be reached. He’s currently doing something rash,” Jimmy snapped, leaning down to press a kiss to my neck. He kissed further up my neck, until he reached the spot just below my ear. I felt him smirk as my body instantly tensed. That spot just below my ear on the left side of my neck was my so-called “sweet spot” or whatever people call that area these days. I hated that Jimmy knew where it was, because it was his one and only weapon to convince me to do something that I might not always agree to. But Jimmy had one too: about two inches below where mine was, except his was on his right side. And anytime I kissed him there, he tensed up too, and it would disappoint him so much when I just pulled away and teased him. But hey, what are wives for anyway?

“No! Jimmy!” I protested, trying to get away. I struggled against his arms and tried to turn my head so that my sweet spot wasn’t within his reach. He just laughed and pressed a kiss to my lips.

“Oh, c’mon, Miya, it can’t be that troublesome, can it?” Jimmy asked. Suddenly his eyes widened. “It’s not because I can’t satisfy you, right?”

I definitely had to laugh at that one. Men worry about the silliest things, I swear.

“Babe, if you didn’t satisfy me, I think you would be able to tell,” I answered. Jimmy frowned. He looked so cute when he frowned.

“How?”

“Because,” I said, “I’m a horrible actress. My fake orgasm would be all wrong.”

Jimmy laughed before resting his forehead against mine. “So, is that a ‘Yes, I’ll have sex with you’ or ‘No, you perv, now get off of me before I knee you in a place that’ll make your voice squeak for weeks’?”

Honestly, I really know how to pick them, don’t I? Brendan was a complete jerk, and Jimmy’s amazing as all get-out. I wonder when the gods decided to turn my luck around.

“Yes, I’ll have sex with you,” I answered, but I had barely started saying “yes” before Jimmy uncurled his arm from my torso, climbed off of me, and slung me over his shoulder before carrying me easily into the bedroom. By the time I finished my sentence, Jimmy leaned forward, and I slid off of his shoulder onto the bed.

“Eager, aren’t we?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Jimmy just shrugged, stretching out on top of me.

“Maybe just a little bit,” he answered, his mouth capturing mine in a kiss. He trailed kisses down my neck, laughing again when I tensed as he passed by my sweet spot. “You know, I think you should visit Victoria’s Secret sometime soon.”

“And why is that?” I asked as Jimmy pulled back to unbutton the buttons of my checkered blouse.

“Well, a man’s got to have some sexy lingerie in his marriage somewhere,” Jimmy answered, pressing kisses down my torso as he unbuttoned my blouse (wow, that’s a weird sentence, isn’t it? It sounds very violating).

“I’ll wait until our fiftieth anniversary,” I told him, smirking. “I’ll buy some lingerie now and hang it on the inside of the bedroom door. If you think of ever divorcing me, you’d see that on your way out of the bedroom and realize that you’d never see me in that until our fiftieth anniversary, and it would help you not divorce me. But then on our anniversary, I would wear it and we’d have a grand old time.”

“But by then I wouldn’t want to have sex with anyone,” Jimmy said, sitting up and looking down at me. “When you’re that old, sex doesn’t mean anything anymore.”

“I didn’t say that the plan would benefit you,” I replied. “And it has some flaws. But I think it could work.”

“That’s not even funny,” Jimmy said solemnly. I laughed and shrugged. He sighed and shook his head before leaning down to kiss me again. “Great timing,” he suddenly grumbled, straightening back up. He pulled his cell phone out of his back pocket and flipped it open, answering with a rude, “What the hell do you want?”

“Why so rude? Did I interrupt sex?” I heard Matt ask.

“Yes,” Jimmy growled.

“Hot damn! How far along was it?”

“We just started the foreplay.”

“Ah, too bad. We just got a call. Some guy went all psycho in a hospital and now he’s holding some people hostage.”

“Fine,” Jimmy grumbled. “I’ll be there.”

He scowled and flipped his cell phone closed. I laughed and sat up, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Don’t worry,” I told him, starting to button my shirt back up. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Okay,” Jimmy sighed. He pushed a kiss to my nose before climbing off of the bed.

“Good luck!” I called as I heard the front door open and close. I smiled as I finished buttoning up my blouse. Poor guy...