Somewhere Over the Rainbow

August 25, 2016
Moving Day

Daddy said it’s going to take three or four days to get to New York and that we’d be in the car a lot. It was really early… everybody came over to say goodbye. Gran and Grandma were both crying.

“Don’t cry.” I said, wiping away their tears. “I’ll see you soon!” I promised.

Gran laughed and hugged me tight. Grandma just smiled and gave me lots of kisses. I was passed to all my aunts and uncles. Aunt Lauren last.

“You be a good girl for your Daddy.” She whispered as she hugged me. “Help him take care of Jakey. If I know your Daddy, he’s going to need lots of help.”

“I will.” I said, hugging her back.

“I love you baby girl.”

“I love you too Aunt Lauren.” I said. She put me in my car seat for Daddy while he put Jakey in his. Lucky got to sit up front with Daddy and she was looking out the window and barking at everybody. Daddy hugged Gran again and climbed into the car.

“Ready to roll?” he asked, turning to look at me.

“Yupp.”

“Want me to put a movie in for you before we go?”

“I can do it Daddy.” I said looking through the movies Daddy put in the back seat for me. I found The Little Mermaid my favorite movie ever, and put it in and Daddy pulled away. Bye house… bye family I thought as everyone waved.

****

Joe’s POV

I have been driving for fourteen hours straight… with a lunch break in there somewhere. We were in the middle of Colorado. I pulled up to the motel and let out a sigh. Looking behind me I saw both Lexi and Jake asleep. He’ll need a diaper change soon.

“Lucky, stay.” I said when she perked up when I opened the door. I locked the u-haul and went into the office to rent a room. After getting the key I went back out to the car.

“Ally-Baby,” I said softly. “Time to wake up.” She blinked her eyes open and looked outside.

“Where are we Daddy?” she asked, yawning as I unbuckled Jake’s carrier.

“Colorado.” I said. “Can you get yourself out?”

“Yeah,” she said, unbuckling her seat. She opened her door and I walked around to help her down. I gave her the bag of stuff she’d need and grabbed mine and Jake’s. Lucky was relieved to get out of the car. I walked her over to the lawn to relieve herself and cleaned up after her before going to the room.

“Alright, everybody in.” I said, holding open the door for Lexi and Lucky before letting myself in with Jake. “Lexi you need a bath baby.”

“Daddy I’m hungry.” She whined.

“Do you want a sandwich?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay I’ll be right back. Stay right here.” I went back out to the u-haul. I had packed a cooler with a few things left in the fridge that weren’t old enough to toss. I brought it into the room and made Lexi a sandwich and changed Jake’s diaper before making mine. My God this is a hard process I thought as I switched between feeding myself and Jake.

After Lexi’s bath I got her in her pajamas and helped her brush her hair. She sat on my lap as I brushed through the brown locks on top of her head. Jake was asleep in the porta-crib I bought just for this trip and Lucky was snoozing on the floor.

“Joe what are you doing with our daughters beautiful hair?” Lyss asked from the kitchen where she was making dinner. I was sitting with a two year old Lexi on my lap in the front room trying to do something fun with her hair.

“I’m just making her look cute.” I called back.

“She has us for parents, she’s cute enough.”

“Conceited much?” I asked laughing.

“Will you just bring her in here?”

“I’m not done.” I said, wrapping a tie in Lexi’s hair.

“Ouch Dadda,” she said, putting her hand on her head and looking up at me.

“Sorry Ally-Baby.” I said, leaning down and kissing her head. “Okay, we’re ready!”

“Mamma!” Lexi cried when I walked into the kitchen. Lyss laughed when she saw what I did with Lexi’s hair. I had put about five ties in randomly so she had these mini ponytails sticking out everywhere.

“Oh Joseph,” Lyss said, still laughing. “Remind me to never let you do her hair ever again.”

“Oh come on… it’s adorable.” I said, putting my hand on Lexi’s head and she smiled up at me.

“Not a chance Buster.”

“Daddy? Daddy!” Lexi said, turning and looking up at me.

“What? Sorry Ally-Baby.”

“I said I think you brushed it enough.” She said, taking the brush from my hands.

“Oh, okay. Alright… bed-time. Which bed do you want to sleep on?” I asked.

“I want to sleep on that one.” She said, pointing to the bed next to the wall. “By myself.”

It was the first time she insisted on sleeping in her own bed since Lyss died. I nodded my head and tucked her in. She smiled up at me and I kissed her forehead.

“Sweet dreams baby girl.” I said, walking over to the other bed and turning off the light. The room darkened and a small light shone through the window from outside.

“Daddy?” Lexi asked suddenly.

“What is it baby?”

“If I have a nightmare… can I come over there with you?”

“Of course. You didn’t have to ask. Now, try to get some sleep.”

“Okay… I love you Daddy.”

“I love you too Lexi.”

****

August 26, 2016
Somewhere in Missouri

I watched Jakey sleep as Daddy drove. I didn’t have any nightmares last night… that was nice. It feels like we’ve been driving forever and everything looked the same. I looked up at Daddy while he drove.

“Daddy?”

“What honey?” he asked.

“Remember when that guy asked if I was going to be a star and you said you used to sing with Uncle Nick and Uncle Kevin?”

“Mhm…”

“I want to hear some of your songs.”

“Oh… okay… um… I have a CD right here. Do you want to listen now?”

“Yes please!” I said, clapping my hands.

“Alright,” he said putting a CD in. The music started and he sang along. “I’m hot. You’re cold. You go around like you know…”

“I’ve heard this before.” I said.

“You have? When?”

“Mommy was listening to it once when she did dishes…”

I woke up from my nap. It was summer… I was four years old. Mommy was downstairs in the kitchen… I could hear her singing. I walked into the kitchen and giggled. She was washing dishes and dancing around funny.

“I’m slipping into the lava, trying to keep from going under. Baby you turn the temperature hotter. I’m burnin’ up, burnin’ up for you baby!” she sang, turning around. She stopped when she saw me and laughed. “What are you doing up Lexi?”

“I couldn’t sleep anymore. What were you singing Mommy?” I asked. She turned down the music and picked me up so I could sit on the counter.

“Oh nothing… just some old music Mommy used to love when she was younger.” She said, winking at me.

“She didn’t tell me it was you singing.” I said, pouting.

“I think she wanted me to tell you when you were older. If you ever want to listen to these songs let me know.”

“Do you have a lot?”

“Yes I do.” He said, looking back at me and smiling. “You can thank your Uncle Nick. If it wasn’t for him… things would be really different.”

“Uncle Nick’s really smart… isn’t he Daddy?”

“Yeah baby… one of the smartest people I know.”

****

August 27, 2016
Mid-Pennsylvania
8:35 p.m.
Joe’s POV

We were so close to being there. Lexi was asleep but Jake was fussing. It’s so hard trying to drive somewhere you’re not too familiar with at night with a fussing baby in the backseat and no one to help you. I pulled over at the next rest stop and unbuckled my seatbelt. Without waking Lexi I reached into the back and pulled Jake out of his seat.

“What’s up buddy?” I asked, rocking him in my arms as he continued to cry, his face scrunched up and red. His diaper was clean… he obviously wasn’t tired so I decided he was hungry. I pulled out a jar of food and tried to feed him. “Come on… what’s wrong?” I groaned.

I woke up with a jolt when I heard Lexi’s crying crackling through the baby monitor. This wasn’t her usual crying. This was something different… something wrong.

“Lyss… Lyss?” I said, shaking her sleeping body. “Melissa wake up!” I said, smacking her butt.

“What? What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting up sharply, breathing deep.

“Listen to Alexandra’s cries.” I said. She perked up and listened intently.

“Something’s wrong.” She said, throwing the blankets off and pulling open the door. She made so much noise going to Lexi’s room that she woke Kevin and Lauren… Lana was still sleeping.

“Hey… everything okay?” Kevin asked, scratching his head and yawning.

“I’m not sure…” I said, walking in behind Lyss.

“Oh my God, Joe her lips are blue and she’s coughing like crazy. Call Dr. Lockhart.” She said, rubbing circles on Lexi’s back.

****

“Well Joe, Melissa… it seems that Alexandra has whooping cough.” Dr. Lockhart said, looking at Lexi’s chart. “We’ll give her some antibiotics and her cough should be gone within a few weeks. Check up on her during the night to see if she has vomited. We don’t want her to aspirate.”

“But she’s going to be okay?” Lyss asked nervously.

“She’ll be just fine. It was good that you brought her in right away. This is very dangerous in babies under one year of age.”

“We’ll have to remember this for our next kid.” I said with a sigh.

“Oh God,” I said, looking down at Jake. “You better not have whooping cough.”

He looked up at me, his blue eyes shining with his tears and continued to cry.

“Come on Jakey… what’s wrong?” I asked. I lifted him up to my shoulder and rubbed soothing circles on his back. “I see trees of green… red roses too. I watch them bloom just for me and you and I think to myself… what a wonderful world…”

As I sang Jake’s breathing slowed down. I looked at him and his eyes were closed and he was clutching onto my shirt. These kids… I thought with a sigh. How much I need you right now Lyss.

****

August 27, 2016
11:43 p.m.

“Ally-Baby… come on.” Daddy said, undoing my car seat. I blinked my eyes and yawned. It was really, really dark outside.

“Are we here?” I asked.

“Yupp.”

“I can’t see the house.” I said, pouting.

“You can see it in the morning.” He said, picking me up in one arm and carrying Jakey in his carrier in his other hand.

Lucky ran up the steps and barked. Daddy put Jakey down and pulled out a key, unlocking the door. He carried us inside and closed the door behind him… locking it again.

“I’m so tired Daddy.” I said, closing my eyes.

“I know baby.” He said, kissing my forehead. “We’re going to sleep in my room tonight because we’re all tired. We get to see the house tomorrow and put all our stuff away and make it home.”

“Okay Daddy. I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart.” He said, laying me down. “Sweet dreams.”

*****************************************************************************

How strong are you now
Without her around
You can't even keep one little bitty tear
From fallin' down
Tell me how strong are you know
How Strong Are You Now - Rascal Flatts