You Belong With Me

Alex’s P.O.V.

Have you ever gone for a long drive by yourself just so that you could think about all your problems? Whenever I have a lot on my mind, I either write or go for a long drive. When I want to clear my head, driving does wonders. I was glad that Maggiano’s was a far drive; it felt good to just relax, put the windows down and feel the air blowing on my face and through my hair. I was completely refreshed and in a much better mood by the time I got to the restaurant.

I saw that my family and Taylor’s had already been seated at a table outside, so I walked over. Everyone got up to give me a hug. Scratch that, almost everyone. I noticed that Taylor deliberately stayed in her seat and it seemed that, when she got here, she made sure to sit as far away as possible from the only empty seat left: my seat. She wanted to see me and talk to me as little as possible. She was wearing those big goofy glasses of hers and had a lot of eye makeup on. She must have been so hung-over.

“So, how did the band meeting go?” my mom asked me as we all sat down and I began looking at the menu.

“It went well. We started working on a new song I wrote,” I responded. I decided to leave out the part about Jack and me arguing over Taylor. That whole story probably would not go over so well with our parents.

“That’s great, Alex,” said Barbara, Taylor’s mom. “When do you play your next show?”

“I’m actually not sure yet. We don’t have any scheduled as of right now, but we’re working on it. Right now, it’s kind of hard since we are still in school, so we’re really limited when it comes to time.”

“Speaking of which,” said Eric. “Alex, I actually have a favour to ask of you and maybe Taylor too if she wants to.” He quickly looked over at her and then went on. “We still have a spot open for someone to sing the national anthem for one of our home games, so I was wondering if you guys would do it together for me.”

“Yeah, sure,” I responded. If Eric needed me to do this for him, then of course I would.

“I’m in,” said Taylor. Of course she would too. After all, he was almost as much her brother as he was mine.

“You guys are awesome,” my brother said.

“So, Eric, your mom told me that you and Holly are moving in together. That’s a pretty big step,” said David.

He nodded. “Yeah we are pretty excited about it. We’re ready to take that next step and see how it goes.”

They continued to talk about Eric and his life and other things that were going on for about a half an hour. Taylor and I just sat there listening idly and doing our absolute best to avoid each other’s eyes. I was trying to think of ways to get her to talk to me, but I couldn’t think of anything remotely creative. I decided I would ask her after we were all done eating.

While I was sitting at the table, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket again, so I took it out.

From: Katelyn
Hey, Baby! I miss you! When will I get to see you again?

I miss you too, I responded. It feels like forever since I’ve seen you last, even though it was only yesterday. We should hang out tomorrow.

We continued texting back and forth for the next few minutes. It was decided that we would go see a movie and then spend the rest of the day together. This definitely helped put a smile on my face.

After dinner, the adults decided that we would all go back to my house so that we could all spend more time together in peace. When we got out to the parking lot, I immediately noticed how Taylor suddenly stuck to her father’s side like glue. She left with him before I even got the chance to ask her if she wanted to come in my car. My mom did not want me to have to drive back alone for some reason, so she decided to go back in my car, while Eric went with my dad.

“So what’s going on with you and Taylor?” she asked when we were in the car and on our way home. “You two barely spoke the whole night and usually we can’t get you to leave.”
“It’s a long story, Mom. I really don’t feel like going into it.”

“Ok, but I just want you to know that I am here for you no matter what. If something is on your mind, you can always come to me.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said, smiling at her. “That means a lot.” And it did.

“It’s so odd how you and Taylor are so grown up now,” my mom said, suddenly getting nostalgic. “You guys always used to play together when you were little.” A thought crossed her mind and she chuckled. “You know what’s funny? Barbara and I used to think that you and Taylor would end up together. Sometimes, we still do.”

“What makes you think that?” Why does everyone always think that Taylor and I are together or should be together? She’s practically my sister! I don’t t think I would ever be able to feel that way about her.

“Well you guys are always inseparable. There’s never one without the other. When you were little, you used to hold hands and sometimes you still do. Just the other week I walked into your room and saw both of you sleeping, her wrapped up in your arms. It was so cute. I wanted to take a picture, but I didn’t want to wake you up. Most people would not show that much physical affection towards each other in a normal friendship between a guy and a girl.”

I thought about what she said. I guess I could see her point. Taylor and I did touch each other a lot (in a non-sexual way, of course!) and I guess other people may have seen that for a different kind of closeness than it was. I still could not see myself thinking of her as anything other than a sister, though. “Mom,” I said hesitantly. “Taylor and I, we’re not really like that. We don’t have those feelings for each other. I’m not sure I could ever feel like that about her. It would be like dating my sister.”

“I understand that now,” she responded. “It’s just that it seemed like it was something more than that for awhile. I can see now that I was wrong.”

We didn’t speak again for the rest of the ride. Each of us was too busy thinking about what the other person had said.

Soon, I pulled up to my driveway and saw that we were the first ones home due to my insane speeding abilities. I went upstairs to put some of my stuff away, including my guitar. When I raised my shade to let some light into the room, I was surprised to find Taylor’s so far down that the only thing I saw behind her window was black. I shut my shade again. There was no way I wanted to look out my window just to see darkness.

A few minutes later, I heard the front door open and close, so I went downstairs.

“Melanie, I’m really sorry, but I’m not really feeling that well, so I think I’m just going to go home,” Taylor was saying as I came down the stairs.

“Are you sure, Honey?” my mom asked her.

She nodded. “Yeah, I just need to lay down for a little bit.” My mom gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then, she repeated the same process with Eric and my dad.

“Taylor, wait!” I said just as she was about to leave.

She turned around to look at me for the first time that night. I could see surprise in her eyes as she was trying to guess what I was going to say. “Alex, I really have to go,” she said, leaving her hand on the front doorknob.

“I just need to talk to you privately. Please, just give me five minutes. That’s all it will take.” Without waiting for her answer, I gently grabbed her arm and pulled her upstairs to my room.

“You know, I don’t get you, Alex,” she said coldly as I shut the door. “Last night, you said our friendship was over and now you want to talk to me again. Make up your mind.”

“Listen, last night I think we both might have said some things we didn’t mean. Jack said some things to me before that got me thinking about some things I had never really considered before. He said that you were going through a hard time, which caught me off guard because usually I know more about you than him, not the other way around. I guess I just want to know what it was that made you want to go out and get drunk. We always used to tell each other everything.”

She took a step toward me and looked me directly in the eyes. “Look, I know I acted stupid last night and I truly am sorry, I am. I’m really glad you stopped Kyle before he could hurt me more and I’m glad we all got out of there, but that doesn’t change what happened afterward. You really hurt me when you accused me of lying to you when I have never lied to you before and you didn’t have any proof. When you told me that you didn’t want to be my friend anymore, my heart shattered.” She paused to wipe away a tear that had escaped from her eye. “Never would I ever have thought I would have heard those words coming from your mouth.”

“Taylor, I’m sorry,” I choked out. The pain in her words and the knowledge that I was the reason for that pain tore me up. “I never meant to say that. I was just angry at you for everything that had happened. Before, I had a really good date with Katelyn, but then Jack called and I had to run out. It just really pissed me off that, after all that I did for you, you acted so blasé about it; you didn’t even seem to care if you got hurt. And about what Katelyn said about you, I was just so confused. You are my best friend, but, at the same time, I really like this girl.”

“If you want to be with her, that’s fine. I can’t stop you, but I just wish you would trust that I was telling you the truth.”

“I do trust you, but the problem is I trust her too. Either way, you are right; I should have at least had proof if I was going to accuse you of lying. I’m sorry for that.”

“I wish I could say I forgive you, but that really hurt me, Alex.”

“I know it did. You are my best friend and I should have believed you, but I wasn’t in my right mind. Our friendship is too important for me to just give up.”

“Lucky for you it’s important for me too.”

“Good,” I smiled. “There is something I need to know though and I need you to be completely honest.” I studied her face and she nodded for me to go on. “Are you hiding something from me?” She hesitated and then nodded again. I put one hand on her cheek and put the other one under her chin to lift her face up so that I could look her in the eye. “Taylor, what is it?” I asked pleading with her. “What’s going on with you?”

She took a step back and I felt her face fall away from my grasp. “It’s...it’s not something I’m ready to tell you yet.” Her eyes fell to the ground and she would not look at me. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to say it or if you’ll be ready to hear it.”

“So you tell Jack all your fucking secrets now and I’m not allowed to know anything anymore?” I suddenly exploded. Knowing that there was something she wasn’t telling me was eating me alive inside. I had to know what it was that she was keeping from me.

Now she had anger in her eyes. “Jack is the only one that has stayed by me through all of this. You were too busy with your precious Katelyn to even realize that anything was going on with me. You’re too late now, Gaskarth. Can’t you please accept that I will tell you if I want to and when I am ready?”

“To be completely honest, I don’t know. Now that I know that you are keeping something from me, it’s going to bother me. We’ve never kept secrets from each other. I just wonder why you decided to start now.”

“Do you think I like keeping things from you? If I could tell you, I would, but, if I do tell you, it could completely ruin our friendship.”

“But, if you don’t tell me, it could ruin our friendship anyway.”

“I’m not ready to tell you! Why can’t you just accept that?”

“Taylor, just fucking tell me! Whatever it is, I’m sure we can get through it.”

She looked at me furiously and I could see that something in her mind had changed. “Fine!” she said, grabbing my face in both her hands. “But I won’t need to use words.” With that, she pulled my face closer to her and placed her soft pink lips on mine. Holy shit.