You Belong With Me

Taylor's P.O.V.

You know how when you are dreading something, time seems to just fly by? Before I knew it, it was Wednesday. I had discussed what I would do about Alex with Jack and decided that I would try not to tell him any personal information. We would talk about the music and that would be it. Much easier said than done.

Part of me had the feeling that Eric had done this on purpose. He must have known that Alex and I have not been speaking, so he asked us to do this to bring us closer together. Maybe he waited until Thanksgiving to remind us what we should have been thankful for. Only thing wrong with that theory was that I wasn’t the one who needed the reminding.

It seemed like no time had passed at all between the time I got home and the time I had to walk over to Alex’s. My parents were not surprised in the least when I told them I was going next door to practice, so I guess someone else must have let them in on the secret. God only knows what our parents said about us behind our backs...

I walked as slowly as humanly possible, but, even then, it only took me about three minutes to get from my door to his. I sighed as I took out my key and let myself into his house. There was no use stalling anymore. I mind as well get this over with.

To my right, Melanie and Robert were sitting on the couch watching television. When they heard me come in, they each got up and gave me a hug.

“Taylor, Sweetie, it’s so good to see you!” Melanie exclaimed. “We really miss you around here.”

“I miss you too,” I said, smiling at the woman who was practically my mother. I felt bad for not seeing her more often. I haven’t been over here ever since Alex and I had stopped being friends. I guess I need to try to remember that these people are my family too.

“You look taller and your hair grew since we last saw you,” said Robert, giving me an affectionate kiss on the cheek.

I nodded. “I’m sorry I haven’t been by to see you guys. I’ve just been really busy lately with school and everything and Alex has been busy with Katelyn I’m sure, so I didn’t really think there was a reason for me to come.”

“Don’t worry, about it, Dear,” said Melanie. “Things are changing. It happens. I just want you to know that you can come over here whenever you want to though. We love you and you are always welcome, whether Alex is here or not. That part will never change.”

“Thanks, Melanie. I love you guys too.” I said, giving her another hug.

I heard footsteps, so I turned around and saw Alex coming down the stairs with his guitar. He was wearing his usual beanie, black skinny jeans, and a plain white v-neck t-shirt.

“Oh good, Alex, Honey, you are here,” said Melanie. “Why don’t you guys go practice down in the basement? It’ll be quieter down there. We’re going to go out for a little bit because we need to go food shopping, so we will see you guys later.”

Alex nodded and started walking toward the basement. I turned to give Melanie and Robert one last wave goodbye and followed Alex downstairs. I heard the front door open and close as his parents left the house.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly when I got to the bottom of the stairs.

“Hi,” I responded trying to sound as cold as I could.

We stood there staring at each other for a long time. Some people might call this an “awkward turtle” moment.

“So, uhm, how have you been?” he asked after awhile.

“Look, Alex, I really just came here for Eric. I think we should just work on the music and that’s all.” There was no way I was going to let him think that I would just forgive and forget.

“Ok, fine.” He sat down on the couch and propped his guitar on his lap. I sat as far away from him as I could. “Which verses do you want to sing? Since you are a girl, I think you should sing the higher part at the end.”

“I don’t really have that high of a voice, but whatever.”

“Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll sing the damn verse. Let’s keep going.”

“Maybe it would be easiest if we just did every other line and then both finished it off at the end.”

“Yeah that sounds good. And that makes things a lot easier.”

“Do you want to open or should I?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter to me. Why don’t we try it both ways and see which way sounds better?”

“Ok, let’s do it.”

For the next hour, we sang the Star Spangled Banner over and over again, each time changing minor details. By the time we were done and completely ready for tomorrow, we were tired and cranky. I gathered my stuff and got up to leave.

“Taylor, wait,” he said, grabbing my arm so that I would turn to face him.

“What is it, Alex?” I asked angrily looking him straight in the eye so that he could see the power of my emotion.

“I-I miss you,” he said and he looked down at the floor.

“Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you ran out on me. Now, please let go of me,” I said while trying to break free from his tight grasp.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I hate myself for it.” Suddenly, he was looking at me again and his eyes were pleading.

“So the fact that you are sorry is just supposed to magically make everything ok? Alex, you refused to believe me when I was telling you the truth, ran out on me, broke my heart, and didn’t speak to me for two months! How the hell am I just supposed to forgive you for that? Just because you are sorry doesn’t excuse the fact that you are a complete douche bag. I’m sick of crying over you because you don’t deserve my tears.”

He nodded slowly. “I know and you are absolutely right. I’m a jackass and I don’t deserve to have you as my best friend again. I’ll tell you one thing though. I’m not going to make the same mistake again and I’ll prove it to you if you’ll give me a chance.”

“And what makes you think you even deserve a second chance.”

“Everyone makes mistakes. That’s the only way we ever learn. It has killed me these past few months knowing that I couldn’t go to you whenever I needed you and that I was the reason for that. I don’t want to lose any more time with you.”

“But I kissed you and you ran out on me!”

“I know and I was a coward. I guess that kiss scared me pretty bad. I didn’t want things to change or get weird between us.”

“So you just decided to ignore me altogether? Great strategy,” I said bitingly sarcastic.

“I didn’t know what to do, Taylor! You were like a sister to me and I didn’t know what to do at the moment. Afterward, I thought that maybe it would be easier for you if I just didn’t talk to you. Maybe you would get over me sooner. But, then, I saw your face the other day when Katelyn kissed me out on the lawn and I felt terrible. I know I made the wrong choice, but I just wasn’t sure what to do.”

“Whatever happened to being honest with me? Why couldn’t you just tell me you didn’t have the same feelings for me? If you didn’t have the same feelings for me, I could probably have dealt with it somehow. Sure, it would have been slightly awkward and painful at first, but I would have gotten over it eventually. The worst part of that whole thing was losing you as my best friend.” To my dismay, those tears that he didn’t deserve began to fall from my eyes once again.

“I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

“And you thought ignoring me wouldn’t hurt me? You have a lot to learn.”

“Look, Taylor, how many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” I could tell he was getting frustrated now.

“As many times as it takes for you to mean it and me to believe it.”

His phone started to go off in his pocket, but he ignored it and just stared at me. “Of course I mean it. Why would I say it if I didn’t mean it?”

“I’m not going to believe you mean it until you prove it.”

“And how do you want me to do that?”

I shrugged. “Figure it out. You were my best friend for most of my life. You should know me pretty well by now.”

“Well how about we start out by just hanging out and catching up for a little bit?”

“I don’t think I can do that. I can’t just act like everything is peachy and nothing happened, Alex. I just can’t. I won’t ignore it. As much as I hate to admit this, I don’t think our friendship can ever be like it was before.”

His phone rang in his pocket again. “God fucking damn it!” he screamed as he silenced it again. He didn’t want to interrupt our discussion, if you could call it that. “Don’t you think it’s at least worth a try?”

“To be honest, I’m not sure anymore. Two months ago, I would have jumped at this opportunity, but then you changed.”

“What do you mean I changed?” he asked with a slight hint of anger in his tone.

“You don’t even realize how she’s changing you,” I replied.

“Oh don’t you dare blame this on Katelyn! Everything is my fault. I was the one that left you and ignored you, not her.”

“Will you just listen to me for one second? Jack tells me how he never sees you anymore because you are with her. You schedule all your band practices around her and what she wants. You have made this girl the center of your universe and practically given up everything else that’s important to you. In fact, I hope she hurts you just as bad as you hurt me. Maybe then you will learn to appreciate what you have and not take anything for granted.”

His phone rang again. “Pick up your damn phone, Alex,” I said as I finally yanked free of his grasp and headed toward the stairs.

“Hello,” he said huffily as he answered his phone when I walked away. “Mom, is that you? Mom, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? I can’t understand a word you’re saying.” In a matter of seconds, his tone went from irritation to concern. I stopped and turned back to look at him. His eyebrows were crinkled together in worry.

His mother said something to him and he dropped his phone to the floor in shock. I heard Melanie crying and screaming on the phone, but then it went dead. He stood there and stared at me at a loss for words.

“Alex, what is it? What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly. I walked back to his side. His lips quivered and he couldn’t seem to find the right words. “Tell me!” I pleaded.

“T-that was my mother,” he said quietly. “S-she said that Eric was found d-d-dead in his apartment tonight.” As his mouth formed the words, his knees started to buckle and I caught him as we fell to the ground together. When he said those words, all the anger between us melted away. The most important thing now was holding on to what we had. He began to sob and shake uncontrollably in my arms. “He’s m-my b-brother!” he wailed. “I l-love him! H-how could this h-happen?”

How, indeed?