Forget Me, Not

“Bob?” I called as I walked in his room.
“Yeah?” He was lying on his bed.
“Will you tell me what happened now?” He looked at me sadly.
“Well, I can’t. It’s not my place.”
“But you were about to tell me!”
“I know it’s just…”
“He told you to shut up didn’t he?” I asked.
“Yeah. He’s right. I can’t tell you.”
“Then I’m going to ask him and he better tell me! It’s my life! A life I don’t remember! Who does he think he is to hide my life from me?!” I shouted.
“Calm down. Frank!” He shouted when I walked out of his room. He ran after me and caught me in his arms.

“You’re mad. You can’t go talk to him like that!”
“Why not?” I demanded.
“You’ll scare him.” Bob admitted.
“And I better fucking scare him! Maybe he will tell me what happened if he’s scared!” I said trying to free myself. I succeeded. I was stronger than I thought.
“Frank! Come back here this moment! Frank please! I’m begging you!” He said. I stopped. Why did he want that much that I didn’t talked to him when I was angry?
“Explain it to me!” I asked. “Why don’t you want me to talk to him?” He shook his head.
“I can’t. Calm down and talk to him yourself, but don’t get angry.”
“What’s the deal with me being angry?”
“You don’t control yourself when you’re angry.” I nodded, took deep breaths and went to talk to Gerard. He was reading a comic on his bed.

“Hey.” I said.
“What do you want?” He asked. I sat on the bed next to him.
“I want you to tell me what happened. Please.” He sat on his bed next to me.
“Why did you get angry?”
“How do you know?”
“I heard you shouting.” He looked hurt.
“What’s wrong?”
“You scared me.” I didn’t ask anything about it. He wouldn’t tell me anyway.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” He sighed.
“You’re right. It’s a part of your life.” He said. “I can’t keep it from you. But it hurts to talk about it.”
“Why?”
“We used to be best friends. We did everything together. We were so close… It was all good, until we got too close.” He said. “We kissed sometimes. They were innocent but… still kisses. It progressed and we… We … We were like friends with benefits and I feel in love with you. Then… she came along. You told me you were confused and that you weren’t gay. That you loved me as your best friend and that you didn’t want that to kill our friendship.” He took a deep breath. “I was disappointed but it was okay. You were happy and that was good. That’s until you got confused again.”
“What do you mean?”
“You-”

“What are you doing here?” He asked me as I opened the door to his dressing room. We had just given the best show ever and he was sweaty all over and only with his boxers. I walked up to him.
“I missed you.” I said hugging him. My hands roaming his body.
“You just saw me.” My hand went lower, right on top of his boxers.
“That’s not what I mean.” I rubbed him through his boxers. He closed his eyes.
“You can’t.” He said.
“I can’t resist much longer.” I whispered lowering his boxers and letting them fall to his ankles. I kissed his neck as I teased him.
“What about Jamia?” He asked.
“She’s not the one I want.” I said as I kissed my way down to my knees.

I opened my eyes wide.
“You remembered.” He stated.
“Yeah.”
“What exactly did you remember?” He asked.
“I think it was the first time I was ‘Confused.’” I said using hair quotes. “It was after a show.” I said. He nodded looking at the ceiling. He seemed distracted, as if he was remembering. Maybe he was.
“Well, do you want to hear the rest?” He asked.
“Yeah.”