Who Can Really Blame You?

I’m happy when the bell rings, because my pass worked and Hadley passed me a note in class apologizing.

“So he’s meeting Kate?” Hadley asks as we make our way down the hall. I nod. “What do you think they’re talking about?” she continues.

“Dunno,” I reply, opening the door to the outside, “Probably if they’re going to the Summer Smash on Friday.”

“Is it still on that random farm?” she asks as we get to the parking lot. We spot the twins and Max already at Carter’s car. We wave.

“Yeah, I think so,” I tell her, “Not like I’ve ever gone.”

“Why not?” she asks, “Everyone’s invited, right?”

“The entire point of that party is to get drunk,” I reply.

“No huh,” she says, “Sex too.”

I shove her as we get to the car. I sit on the hood with Max.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t go, though,” Hadley says.

I shrug. It just never appealed to me.

“Should I die my hair brown?” Talia interrupts, playing with her hair.

“I like it blonde,” I reply. Tayler rolls his eyes.

“She just wants her hair the same color as mine,” He says.

“No I don’t,” she sighs, “it already sucks enough sharing a birthday, let alone hair color! I’m staying blonde.”

I roll my eyes as they start to argue about something, and look ahead again. I sit up straight when I see someone walking across the parking lot towards us.

“Is that Carter?” Hadley asks for me.

“I think so,” I reply, sliding off the hood. Max stays seated. Carter continues slowly towards the car.

He smiles weakly when he gets to us.

“What happened?” I ask. Everyone else stays silent.

“She… She was waiting for me with some guy… a senior at Randolph. They’ve been seeing each other behind my back for three months.” He says, “She broke up with me.”

“I’m just going to drop everyone at their houses,” he says suddenly.

I stay silent. Everyone does.

“Let’s go,” Carter finally says. We all go into action and get in the car, minus the whining and in record time. I of course get the front seat. No one complains.

“Someone say something,” Carter says after starting up the car. No one does, and he doesn’t move. Carter doesn’t look at anyone.

“Well,” Talia finally says, “Now I know who to take my intense rage out on.”

Carter looks like he’s about to cry, but we all bust out laughing, making him smile.

“I’ll help you throw down that bitch, Talia,” Hadley says from under Max, “Tag team!”

Talia high fives her, and Carter pulls out of his parking spot.

When I’m the last one left in the car, Carter shuts up. He doesn’t look at me the entire car ride.

He stops in front of my house, and I don’t move.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him. He shrugs.

“Nothing,” he says, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I’m slightly taken aback by his dismissive tone. I open my mouth to speak three times before I finally just get out of the car, and shut the door. He pulls off while I’m still standing on the curb. I don’t move from the curb until well after he’s gone from my sight.

I bite my lip, and push my hair behind my ear before turning on my heel and heading up the lawn. I feel an uneasy feeling rest in my stomach as I pass my dad’s car. I open the door quietly and head through the living room, and make it halfway up the steps before I hear him moving around in his office. I rush into my room, and lock the door. I wince when he starts yelling for me.

I look around, panicking, and finally just grab some money and open the window hurriedly, before climbing through. I hear the door opening and I don’t bother shutting the window. I rush across the garage roof and slide to the lowest part, before jumping to the ground.

“Ainsley! Get back here!” he yells. I run across the lawn, and down the road.

I finally slow down when I know he isn’t anywhere near me. I look around the neighborhood I’m in, and wonder where I am. I sigh and turn down a road, hoping it will connect to a main road, where I can get my bearings.

It’s dark by the time I reach a road I know. I sigh and look around. Where am I even trying to go?

The twins already have Hadley over, and I don’t want her to worry at any rate.

Carter… I don’t know what his problem was. His girlfriend cheated on him. I don’t want to worry him.

I sigh and turn down the road towards Max’s house.

“Ainsley?” Max asks opening the front door, “What’s up?”

“My dad was flipping, so I kind of bounced,” I say, glancing at my shoes, “Can I stay here?”

“My parents aren’t in,” he tells me, “Of course you can.”

I smile and come in.

“Thanks,” I tell him, “I already have Hadley worried and she’s with the twins, and Carter was kind of mean to me, so I was really hoping you’d say yes. I didn’t want to bother anyone else.”

He nods, and takes my hand, pulling me towards his room. I don’t say anything about it, and let him pull me down the familiar hallway to his room. It’s different.

“You got rid of those trophies,” I say, realizing his soccer trophies are all gone.

“My dad took them,” he shrugs, falling onto his bed, “When he found out about me. Some shit about fairies not winning anything. Like I care.”

I nod, “That’s a douchey thing of him though.”

He nods, looks at me, and sits up.

He pats the spot next to him, and I sit.

“Do you like Carter?” he asks me.

“What?” I ask, worriedly, “No.”

“Just checking,” he shrugs. I bite my lip for a moment before catching myself and making myself calm.

I nod.

“I missed you,” he tells me. I smile, and turn to answer when his lips press into mine. I remain wide-eyed, staring at him.

He pushes me back on the bed, still kissing me. I’m completely frozen. I only manage to do anything when his hand starts crawling up under my shirt.

“Please, don’t,” I gasp, feeling tears come to my eyes. I’m ugly under there, and even though I’m not trying to impress Max, it still makes my stomach sink.

Max pulls away, and stares at me. I blink and a tear goes down my face. He pushes himself off of me quickly, and I scramble away.

“I’m sorry!” I exclaim, sitting against the wall, and wrapping my arms around myself. I wipe at my tears furiously. Max stands against the opposite wall, with a look of horror on his face.

I stumble to my feet, and rush out his room, and out the front door.