Status: Planned Out! No more writer's block! :D
There's a New Vampire King. I Am So Screwed.
Chapter 11
When I woke up for the second time, everything slammed into me. I was half vampire. I was no longer pregnant with the child of the love of my life. I was no longer a complete werewolf, and I no longer only belonged to Luke. Darren had a claim to me now, and it would be near impossible to get me back without Darren's consent. Basically, I was screwed.
What hurt the most was knowing I was no longer pregnant. The entire concept hadn't even sunk in yet. My baby was snatched away from me before I even got a chance to understand that they were there. They. As if my baby was a stranger. No. She. I always wanted a girl. It would have been a she, I'm sure of it.
It took me twenty years to get pregnant. And then it was all snatched away from me abruptly. How was I supposed to react to that? Was I supposed to cry? Was I supposed to punch things? Or was I supposed to become numb, and block all the pain out of my heart? I had no clue what to do. I felt so uncomfortable in this body, knowing I was alone. There was not a single cell in my body that was not mine. At the thought, another uncomfortable tug pulled at my heart.
Darren was there while I tried to figure out what I felt at the moment, running his fingers adoringly through my hair and smiling at me like he loved me. In a demented way, I suppose he did. But at the moment, I didn't think about it or care. All I could think about was Serena. That was a pretty name. It would have been her name. Other than that, I didn't think of anything else except for the occasional thought about Luke. Luke. The love of my life. Another contributor to the feeling of belonging Darren had snatched away.
Darren let me take my time trying to deny this was happening, then realizing it really had happened and crying my eyes out, he didn't complain once as I beat the living day lights out of him for taking everything from me, and he didn't comment except for the occasional "I'm sorry" while I tried to convince him that I wasn't the one he wanted, and tried to get him to take me back to Luke. He didn't get angry and snap at me, he just let my feelings run their course until there were none left except exhaustion. And then he slowly coaxed me to sleep. He may have taken everything from me, but at least he was being nice about it. I had to give that to him, I guess.
I soon discovered the differences that had been made, and what it was like to be a half vampire. I only slept for an hour at a time. I could run faster and longer, I was harder to hurt and faster to heal, my eyesight was sharper (though my sense of smell stayed the same since werewolves have sharper noses than vampires). My hair had a new luster to it and my skin, which was naturally tan as a werewolf, had a slightly paler sheen to it that mostly showed when the light hit it. My eyes stuck out more, they were far more vibrant.
I needed blood only once a week, along with a regular werewolf diet (which is identical to a human's). I didn't have to hunt or anything, Darren knew I would go crazy if he tried to get me to do that. He gave me donated blood. It tasted slightly stale, which Darren said was normal in blood that wasn't direct from the source (when it wasn't flowing directly from some poor girl's neck). The taste wasn't the best, but he couldn't pay me a billion dollars to actually kill somebody innocent who hadn't done anything to me. Darren may have not had a conscience about it, but I did.
I was stronger than I had ever been, physically. But mentally I felt so unstable and weak. I missed Luke, and I wished more than anything I hadn't lost Serena. I tried to kill myself once, but the cut immediately healed itself. It was pointless. I didn't try again. Darren was so pissed when he found the blood. Not at me, which I found strange, but at himself. I didn't understand his logic, but I wasn't exactly in a mood to complain.
Luckily, Darren had kept me to himself. He didn't try to force me to be social. He didn't try to force me to deal with the vampire royal court, who I knew would absolutely devour my soul given the chance, because even Luke's royal court had pretty much half-heartedly tried too, but they were too afraid of Luke to really mess with me. But Darren? I wasn't sure. Not that they were afraid of him, because they were always afraid of the king, but that Darren would defend me. Part of me remembered how Darren had treated me the last time I was taken by him, but another part hoped he really had changed. I couldn't be sure which side to trust.
My emotions were so confusing it would take millions of words to truly paint them. I had no clue exactly what emotions I was feeling at any one point in time, because it was usually multiple at once. I was more introverted than I had ever been in my entire life, simply because Darren was the only person to talk to and I didn't WANT to talk to him. Darren, I could tell, was worried about me. He kept trying to get me to say something, anything, as long as I actually let my thoughts out. He was worried I was putting myself through more stress not talking about it. And I probably was. But how could I talk about it? All of it led to Darren being at fault, and I don't think he wanted to hear that.
Whenever he started bugging me to talk, to let out my emotions, I only had one thing to say to him. "Take back that bite and I'll talk." He always fell silent after that, gave me a tortured look, and left the room. Part of me knew I was on a path that was leading me to self destruction, but the other part of me didn't care, because without Luke, there was nothing to destroy. Luke was my everything. Luke and Serena. I was only a month along, and I hadn't even gotten the chance to do an ultrasound. It hadn't even sunk in that a life was inside of me until she was gone. Without Luke, I was nothing. So I really couldn't destroy myself. There was nothing to destroy in the first place. I hadn't told this to Darren. I wasn't an idiot. I knew he would flip and get even more protective and doting if I did.
I didn't know what to do. It felt like every movement I made, I had to force myself to do it.
I was officially depressed.
What hurt the most was knowing I was no longer pregnant. The entire concept hadn't even sunk in yet. My baby was snatched away from me before I even got a chance to understand that they were there. They. As if my baby was a stranger. No. She. I always wanted a girl. It would have been a she, I'm sure of it.
It took me twenty years to get pregnant. And then it was all snatched away from me abruptly. How was I supposed to react to that? Was I supposed to cry? Was I supposed to punch things? Or was I supposed to become numb, and block all the pain out of my heart? I had no clue what to do. I felt so uncomfortable in this body, knowing I was alone. There was not a single cell in my body that was not mine. At the thought, another uncomfortable tug pulled at my heart.
Darren was there while I tried to figure out what I felt at the moment, running his fingers adoringly through my hair and smiling at me like he loved me. In a demented way, I suppose he did. But at the moment, I didn't think about it or care. All I could think about was Serena. That was a pretty name. It would have been her name. Other than that, I didn't think of anything else except for the occasional thought about Luke. Luke. The love of my life. Another contributor to the feeling of belonging Darren had snatched away.
Darren let me take my time trying to deny this was happening, then realizing it really had happened and crying my eyes out, he didn't complain once as I beat the living day lights out of him for taking everything from me, and he didn't comment except for the occasional "I'm sorry" while I tried to convince him that I wasn't the one he wanted, and tried to get him to take me back to Luke. He didn't get angry and snap at me, he just let my feelings run their course until there were none left except exhaustion. And then he slowly coaxed me to sleep. He may have taken everything from me, but at least he was being nice about it. I had to give that to him, I guess.
I soon discovered the differences that had been made, and what it was like to be a half vampire. I only slept for an hour at a time. I could run faster and longer, I was harder to hurt and faster to heal, my eyesight was sharper (though my sense of smell stayed the same since werewolves have sharper noses than vampires). My hair had a new luster to it and my skin, which was naturally tan as a werewolf, had a slightly paler sheen to it that mostly showed when the light hit it. My eyes stuck out more, they were far more vibrant.
I needed blood only once a week, along with a regular werewolf diet (which is identical to a human's). I didn't have to hunt or anything, Darren knew I would go crazy if he tried to get me to do that. He gave me donated blood. It tasted slightly stale, which Darren said was normal in blood that wasn't direct from the source (when it wasn't flowing directly from some poor girl's neck). The taste wasn't the best, but he couldn't pay me a billion dollars to actually kill somebody innocent who hadn't done anything to me. Darren may have not had a conscience about it, but I did.
I was stronger than I had ever been, physically. But mentally I felt so unstable and weak. I missed Luke, and I wished more than anything I hadn't lost Serena. I tried to kill myself once, but the cut immediately healed itself. It was pointless. I didn't try again. Darren was so pissed when he found the blood. Not at me, which I found strange, but at himself. I didn't understand his logic, but I wasn't exactly in a mood to complain.
Luckily, Darren had kept me to himself. He didn't try to force me to be social. He didn't try to force me to deal with the vampire royal court, who I knew would absolutely devour my soul given the chance, because even Luke's royal court had pretty much half-heartedly tried too, but they were too afraid of Luke to really mess with me. But Darren? I wasn't sure. Not that they were afraid of him, because they were always afraid of the king, but that Darren would defend me. Part of me remembered how Darren had treated me the last time I was taken by him, but another part hoped he really had changed. I couldn't be sure which side to trust.
My emotions were so confusing it would take millions of words to truly paint them. I had no clue exactly what emotions I was feeling at any one point in time, because it was usually multiple at once. I was more introverted than I had ever been in my entire life, simply because Darren was the only person to talk to and I didn't WANT to talk to him. Darren, I could tell, was worried about me. He kept trying to get me to say something, anything, as long as I actually let my thoughts out. He was worried I was putting myself through more stress not talking about it. And I probably was. But how could I talk about it? All of it led to Darren being at fault, and I don't think he wanted to hear that.
Whenever he started bugging me to talk, to let out my emotions, I only had one thing to say to him. "Take back that bite and I'll talk." He always fell silent after that, gave me a tortured look, and left the room. Part of me knew I was on a path that was leading me to self destruction, but the other part of me didn't care, because without Luke, there was nothing to destroy. Luke was my everything. Luke and Serena. I was only a month along, and I hadn't even gotten the chance to do an ultrasound. It hadn't even sunk in that a life was inside of me until she was gone. Without Luke, I was nothing. So I really couldn't destroy myself. There was nothing to destroy in the first place. I hadn't told this to Darren. I wasn't an idiot. I knew he would flip and get even more protective and doting if I did.
I didn't know what to do. It felt like every movement I made, I had to force myself to do it.
I was officially depressed.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is freaking short. I have to give up the computer. But it's better than nothing.I had maaaaaaajor writer's block when it came to this chapter. This story is kind of difficult because it'll be more emotional than the prequel, and less about the action. I'm not completely used to that and sometimes it's hard to put it into words. But I'm trying, I promise! I'm DEFINITELY not going to abandon my readers or anything like that. This chapter was the main one I was concerned with, so I think I'll be better after this. We'll see.
Laterz!