Devil's Work

The morning is dull and gray. Gerard sits at the table after giving me breakfast, and I watch him read the newspaper while sipping his coffee. He gives me one of my dolls to play with, but all I do is bite on her arm, and then try to interpret the looks on his face.

The phone rings. Gerard stands and picks it up, checking the caller ID before actually answering. “Iero/Way residence, Gerard speaking,” he says and then comes over to me, placing a hand on my head. “Oh hi, Linda. How’s Frank doing?”

I reach up because the phone is more fascinating than the doll I’ve been given. Gerard kisses my fingers and says, “Hold on, Kaitlynn wants to say hello.” He holds the phone in front of my face and I try to babble a hello, but of course, it comes out as nonsense. She laughs anyways.

“Hi Kaitlynn,” she coos back at me. “You having fun there? I’ll see you soon, honey.” And Gerard pulls the phone back up to his ear to talk to her properly.

“So he’s not hurt or anything? ... Good no, I was just wondering. I mean of course... Has he said anything about coming home yet?” Gerard’s voice is desperate and even I can tell. I try to occupy myself by creating a matching bite mark on the doll’s other arm. “Oh. Yeah, I understand. He can come home whenever he likes. Kaity misses him, is all... You sure he won’t come and talk on the phone? Oh, all right. Yeah, love you too. Thanks Linda. Bye.”

He hangs up and looks disappointed. He picks me up and holds me with one arm, downing the rest of his coffee with his free hand. “Well Kaity,” he sighs, turning towards me, “Looks like it’s just you and me. I’ll have to bring you to work, won’t I?”

My ears perk up. I’ve never been to his Work before.

“I’ll dress you up all nice. My boss will understand. She’ll melt under your cuteness powers,” he grins. “Well, let’s go, baby.”

* * *

An hour later and Gerard is swinging me in my car seat as he walks into work, whistling. He waves hi to some people, and they mostly say “Aww,” at the fact that he has his baby with him. He marches straight to a door and knocks before entering.

“Hi, Josie. I have Kaitlynn with me. Um, emergency at home. I hope it’s all right if I can just... I mean, I’m not meeting with anyone today, and she’s a good girl, she won’t make any noise.” Gerard pulls me out of my car seat and lets me face this woman, his boss most likely. I think he’s trying to see if my ‘cuteness powers’ will work on her.

I bury my face into his shoulder because Gerard always smells so good when he goes to Work. And I’m a little sleepy because it’s a long car ride from home to here.

“Of course, Gerard. Yeah.” Her voice is soft and understanding. There’s a sound like a chair squeaking when she leans forward. “How old is she?”

I feel Gerard relax. “Almost eight months, actually.”

“So it’s all finalized, right? The adoption.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s all worked out. It went well, it went really well actually. The social worker said she hadn’t seen a smoother adoption,” Gerard explained.

“Well it sounds like you’re enjoying fatherhood. Now if only my husband would!” The lady laughs. “Well I’ll let you get back to work then.”

“Thanks,” Gerard breathes and he takes me to his desk. He leaves me in my car seat, sitting on top of papers and pens and a whole lot of other things. Other people are passing by to take a look at me, and Gerard shows me off while I interest myself in the toys he’s given me.

The afternoon passes slowly. I fall asleep sometimes while Gerard hums and works and he looks up at me every two minutes to check on me. When I whine, because there is nothing else to do, he quiets me down by saying, “Gotta pay the bills, Kaity. Gotta make sure you’re good for college.”

And then he feeds me and then it’s back to work again for another few hours before we go home for supper.

* * *

It’s weird to see Gerard cook. I’ve only seen him cook once, because mostly Frank does the cooking. Frank. I miss Frank.

I’ve never gone this long without seeing him before, except for before I ever met him. I am wondering if he’s okay and if Gerard is okay without him. Because sometimes Gerard says he’s fine but he’s got these lines on his face and his mouth is turned down, like he’s actually unhappy.

Dinner is quick and so is my bath, and Gerard lets me fall asleep on his bed just like the previous night.

“Sweet dreams, Kaity,” he whispers to me before I drift off.

I dream of Frank coming home.