Spiderdom and the Quest for the Sky Cat

Dom’s first thought when he met Lime was “sheep are awesome”. His next thought was “she’s not actually that bad looking”. His third thought was “that itch on my ass is really annoying me”.

Lime’s first thought when she met Dom was “I’m a goddamned freaking stripper”. Her next thought was “a stripper, yeah”. Her third thought was “he’s wearing blue pants. Kinda cool”.

She stepped up to him and gave him a smile. “I’m a stripper.”

“Really?” Dom replied, arching an eyebrow. “Maybe you could do a private show for me sometime?”

Lime’s smile grew wider. “You know, you’re not that bad. Usually guys aren’t that forward with me.”

“Oh yeah?” Dom asked. “And what happens to the guys that are forward with you?”

“They have a very pleasurable evening,” Lime said seductively.

Meanwhile…

Dr. Dementia and Bee were watching the odd couple blatantly flirting.

“They’re so cute,” Bee said.

Dr. Dementia nodded. “Yes. But not in an evil way. We’re cute in an evil way, though.”

“And that’s always a good thing, right?”

“Yes. Good in an evil way.”

“Alright then.”

Dr. Dementia was smiling happily to himself when he suddenly dove under cover of Bee and hid there, cowering.

“What’s up, Mr. Evil?” Bee asked, playfully prodding him in the side.

“Shh,” Dr. Dementia said.

Bee turned to see a girl sauntering up towards them. She had her eyes narrowed and her face was a mask of angriness.

“Hey,” she said when she approached Bee. “I was just wondering. Have you seen a man by the name of Dr. Dementia walk by recently? About yay high, black hair, weird goggles, long black cape?”

Bee nodded. “He’s, er, hiding behind me.”

The girl nodded. “Hi, Dr. D!”

Dementia mumbled and cursed as he crawled out from behind Bee. He stood up, brushing the dust from his pants. “Dash! How nice to see you again. I hope you’ve been keeping well, what with—”

“Quit your jabbering and tell me why I haven’t been paid in the last month!” Dash yelled in his face.

“Well, you see, about that, I was busy searching out the Sky Cat and I—”

“The Sky Cat? That eternal life thing? I heard it was fugly as your man friend over there with the pink pants on—”

“The boy is not fugly! He’s strangely cute in a completely heterosexual way!” Dementia spluttered.

“Anyway, apparently, that Sky Cat thing is really, really ugly. Anyway, I need my money.”

“Let’s just, eh, go over there and sort it out, will we?”

Dr. Dementia hastened to a secluded area where nobody could watch them make their exchanges.

Meanwhile…

“…so then I turned around and he was face down in the mud with a nappy on his head!” Dom wheezed into his hand, giggling like a little girl. Believe it or not, he was actually having a really good time with Lime. Maybe it was just because he was on to his fifth pint.

Lime sniggered and laid her head on Dom’s shoulder. “You’re so funny, Dommie,” she said as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “I love your pants.”

“Thanks. I love your job,” Dom replied into her hair, snorting. “Your hair smells sooooooooooo nice, Limey. I think I’m going to have to eat it.”

“Don’t eat my hair,” Lime said, raising a hand to bash him away. She failed dismally.

“Then I shall just have to eat your face,” Dom hiccoughed and pushed his lips onto Lime’s in a passionate but alcohol-infused kiss.

Meanwhile…

Dr. Dementia felt a twinge of regret as he and Dash “discussed politics”. This was actually their cover for when they secretly made out behind whatever building happened to be closest, usually in a sort of clichéd way, behind a bike shed. If there was one in the vicinity.

Dash pulled away and twirled a strand of his hair around her finger. “Matt, you really do need to give me that money.”

“I have the weirdest feeling that when I kiss you, I’m actually kissing myself.”

Dash and Matthew stared at each other, their blue eyes tinged with green mirroring each other exactly.

“Weird. Me too,” Dash said.

Matthew grinned. “You’re so evil, Dash. Together we’re gonna rule the world.”

Dash nodded and pushed him against the wall. As they sucked face, Dash inwardly shook her head.

She did not share power.