Spiderdom and the Quest for the Sky Cat

Dom stood there with his hand held out for a good minute before snapping out of it. “BAD!! BAD BAD BAD! NOT GOOD! BADNESS IS HAPPENING!” He flung his hands into the air and ran down the steep descent to the others in their crew.

Meanwhile…

Dementia was falling, fast. “This is oddly familiar…” He thought to himself as he spiralled down the narrow passage inside the volcano, finding the heat incredible.

It wasn’t too long until Dementia noticed that he had been falling for a while and still hadn’t hit anything. No lava seemed to be getting closer. The heat was not getting any more immense.

He had not wet his pants in fear yet.

Maybe something interesting was happening, or maybe he was on a one way road to hell. After all, he was the self proclaimed most evil of all evils. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was going to hell to rub shoulders with the big dogs.

Or maybe he was just in a really, really, really big volcano.

On the surface…

“I told him not to. I told him not to. I told him it was a bad idea.” Dom mumbled into his hands.

“There there. There there.” Dash patted Dom on the shoulder in time with her sarcastic ‘There there’.

Dash was annoyed for a few reasons.

1) Dementia falling down this hole meant that she wouldn’t be getting repaid for the supplies of mushrooms that she had, well, supplied.

2) It meant they could no longer ‘talk politics.’

3) It meant that Dementia’s bitch would cry his little eyes out about it and was sure to get annoying.
It was bad enough that she was already left alone with him while his girlfriend consoled Dementia’s woman.

“I can’t deal with this. I’m going in after him!” Dom stood, ripping of his clothes to reveal his Spiderdom costume.

“Oh no. Don’t do that. That would be bad.” Dash’s voice remained in a monotone as she inspected her fingernails.

“I’m going to do it!” Dom started to trudge up the ascent. Making his way to the lip, only stopping when he reached The Chrisonator who was slowly coming to.

The Chrisonator rolled over and grabbed Dom by the foot. “Where’d he go?” He murmured and, at first, Dom was unsure as to whether or not he was awake. “Where’d Dementia go? First he was there and then he wasn’t.”

“He fell into the volcano. I’m going in after him.” Dom continued to walk up the hill, reaching the lip and looking into the boiling red heat below. Before he knew it The Chrisonator was standing next to him.

“I’m going in too. It’s my fault he fell in.”

“Fair enough.”

With that they both jumped into the volcano.

Returning to Dementia…

Dementia had been falling for a good while now. Surely he should have reached the bottom. “I’m falling… falling… still falling…” Dementia had started to sing to pass the time.

His falling came to a sudden stop. Against an oddly hard ground, seeing as he probably should have landed in the boiling hot lava that was supposed to be inside a volcano. Instead he landed on a cold a dusty floor.

In front of him was a large, dull, solid looking door. Dementia dusted himself off before making his way towards it and then using all of his energy to push it open. Inside was a larger, darker room. Dementia walked inside slowly, closing the door behind him.

On the surface again…

“YOU LET HIM WHAT!?” Lime cried, coming dangerously close to attacking Dash.

“I didn’t ‘let’ him do anything. He said he was going to jump, and then he jumped. I’m sure he’s fine.” Dash lay back onto the surprisingly comfortable pile of rocks, allowing the sun to soak into her skin.

“You’re sure he’s fine? He’s FINE?! HE JUMPED INTO A VOLCANO! IN WHAT WAY COULD HE POSSIBLY BE FINE?” Lime threw her arms into the air.

“Look, what do you do for a living? You’re a stripper. What do I do for a living? I know things… that and I supply some people with mushrooms… but the important thing is I know what I’m talking about. He is fine. Dementia is fine. They are fine. Now stop being hysterical before I throw you in there after him.” Dash closed her eyes in content while Lime continued to stare at her.

Inside the volcano…

Dom and The Chrisonator had just met the bottom of the volcano. They stood up, shook themselves off and headed towards the door. Upon opening it they found Dementia, sitting on a couch with three girls, drinking tea.

“DEMENTIA!” Dom called, running over and pulling Dementia up off the couch and into a tight hug.

“Yes, very nice. I’m not uncomfortable at all. This isn’t making me feel less evil by the second. Continue hugging me, I don’t mind.” Dementia smiled while muttering to himself.

“Ahem,” one of the girls from the couch coughed.

“Oh, right… The Chrisonator, Dom—” Dementia was cut off by Dom.

“I’m in my super suit. Couldn’t you introduce me as Spiderdom? I mean, you’re known as Dementia, The Chrisonator is known as The Chrisonator, and then I’m just Dom. That’s unfair.”

“I’m evil. I don’t have to be fair. So, to answer your question, no. I won’t. Now, anyway, these girls are the protectors of the Sky Cat. So be nice to them.”

“If we could begin?” One of the girls asked.

“Sure thing.” The three men took a seat beside the girls while one poured them a cup of tea each.

“To find the Sky Cat you need to complete three tasks.”

“HOLY WHACK!” The Chrisonator yelled, spilling tea over everything.

“You better clean that up,” one of the girls announced. “We will return when you’re finished.” They girls stood and walked out a door at the opposite end of the room.

“Is this the first task?” Dementia called after them.

“NO!” was the answer the reverberated throughout the room, followed by the sound of giggles and then a door slamming.