Without You, I'm Just Me

I shivered as Patrick replaced my scrappy sweater with a lighter blouse. “You know, you never told me you had a sister.” he stated, buttoning up the front of the blouse as I shook. “I-I never felt like it was a big deal, I hadn’t seen or really heard from her in 5 years, I was pretty sure that you’d never even meet her.”
He smiled. “You said that she single-handedly raised you until she left, right? Don’t you think she’d be happy for you now then?”
I frowned. Crap, Patrick had seen through my entire façade. “She’s more like a mother to me than my mom is, if you think my mom’s reaction was bad, well my sister was the one who gave me the talk and taught me all my morals. She’s going to be a thousand times worse.”
Patrick laughed before pulling my red check coat (Author’s note: I couldn’t help myself, I really love that coat XD) from the back of his desk chair. “I’m sure she can’t be that judgemental, you’re happy right?”
I sighed. “Yeah, but-”
Patrick cut me off. “Then I’m sure she’s going to be happy for you too. She left you for five years, probably the most important five years of having someone to go to for advice. It’s something she obviously chose to live with, and if you made a decision during those five years that she doesn’t approve of, well that’s too bad.” I smiled at Patrick’s reasoning. “Now put on your coat and we’ll get going.” He smiled and put his own jacket on before leading me out of the house.
I sat in the car, adjusting the uncomfortable seat belt. “Angie, would you PLEASE stop fidgeting with everything?” I put my hands to my sides and pouted. “Fine.” Patrick laughed and started up my car. MY car. I sighed. “What’s wrong now?”
“I miss being able to drive my car. That, and this radio station seriously sucks. Can I put on a CD?”
Patrick laughed again and nodded. “As long as it’s not Britney Spears.”
I stuck out my tongue and pulled out my Enema Of The State CD. It started playing loudly as I skipped ahead to What’s My Age Again. I sang loudly as I watched Patrick pull out of the street. He frowned. “Blink 182?”
I frowned back. “You got a problem with that?” He shook his head and drummed on the steering wheel, causing me to smile.

Patrick had been sitting beside me politely as my father had paced the room for at least 20 minutes now. My mother continued to dial my sister’s number, always reaching voicemail. It wasn’t like her to make us worry like this, but what did I really know about her? I hadn’t seen her in 5 years. Mom walked into the room and gave Dad one of those looks, as if they’re conversing telepathically. He nodded and returned to his pacing. I hated breaking the silence, but it felt necessary. “Have you told her yet about..” Everyone turned in my direction, causing my cheeks to turn crimson. My mother was the only one to answer. “Not yet.” I nodded and she returned to her frantic calls. The phone began ringing, causing everyone to gasp in unison. My mother picked it up nervously. “H-hello?”
Her face became relieved, which only lead to one conclusion: my sister was on the other end. “Oh Josie sweetheart, we’ve been so worried about you! What happened? Why aren’t you here yet?”
My mom stood nodding with a worried look spreading across her face. Patrick and I exchanged glances. “Oh really? That’s terrible. Next week? Isn’t there any earlier fli- I see, well make sure you call as soon as you can. It really is disappointing that you couldn’t make it tonight. Well, I guess we’ll see you in a week. Love you too Josie.” Mom hung up the phone and sat in the armchair.
“So?” I was a little annoyed at only getting one side of the information.
Mom started talking, looking at no one in particular as she spoke. “Josie’s laptop and cell phone were left in an airport in London and she has to fly back to pick them up. She had to call from a payphone in LA, that’s why she hasn’t been answering any of my voicemails.”
We all frowned, but I could tell Patrick was just as relieved as me that we’d been able to put off this dreaded meeting for at least a short period of time. “So when will she be here?”
“Next week.” We nodded. My parents seemed a little more uncomfortable with the current situation now that Josie wasn’t arriving. Although I was sure they still loved me, they found it hard to be around me, to look at me or even Patrick. I had to confess, it hurt.
“Umm, Angie did you want something to eat?”
“No, I actually ate before I got here so, I think I’m just going to go to bed. Is it alright if we stay here tonight?” it felt wrong having to ask whether or not I was allowed to stay in my parents house, in my room. But this is how my life had turned out, having parents who were ashamed to be around you because they were more worried about their reputation in a town than your actual wellbeing. Mom nodded, and I dragged Patrick to my room.
“We managed to put it off for another week, can you believe it?” I let out a deep sigh of relief. Patrick frowned. “Yeah, but you still have to face her next week and you’ll be just as worried as you were an hour ago. We’re not getting out of this entirely, I just want you to remember that.” I nodded thoughtfully and slowly climbed into the increasingly shrinking single bed with Patrick. I knew my mom didn’t approve of us sharing a bed every night, though she couldn’t argue that it was the safest idea given my current state. I could feel sleep starting to take over, and closed my eyelids. I woke up with a shock at a blinding flash. “Oh god, what was that?” Patrick groaned. “It was your mom with a camera, she said it would be a good idea to document your pregnancy, she’s been taking photos every week, did you know that?”
I groaned and put a pillow over my head. “Not really, but right now I don’t care about anything but sleep.”
Patrick laughed and laid his head back down next to mine.