Blood Is Thicker Than Love

I'd throw it all away for you
If you took another look you'd be back so soon
All alone, a dark cold night
Wrapped around, you better hold on tight.

"Tracy, honey, Will you pass me the Cream cheese?" I heard my Mom asked Tracy, 7 o clock in the morning at the Dining Table. Last nights events' still haunting me and I can't keep on wondering on what Joe's actions were. My mind has gone fuzzy and still. I can't keep my eyes off Tracy and began to notice and inhale her physical attributes.

Tall, Lean, Sexy, Tan, Brunette, Long hair.
Perfect, small cute nose, few little freckles, luscious lips (Wow, that was lesbian-ish way for me to say that, But who cares?)...I can't even compare myself to Trace. Sometimes I began to question if were really sisters. I mean, she looks gorgeous, marvelous, perfect and my Mom does too. Both of them looks like they just gone from the perfect Barbie World while I...well, I still have to think of the perfect dump for myself.

"So Andrea, how'd you like the dress I bought for you?" Mom enthused.

Last night, right after we got home, Tracy and I were both dragged at the Living Room, to recieve Mom's welcome back presents. I cannot remember what Mom brought for Tracy but all I could remember was Tracy's really excited and extremely thankful to Mom and she can't help but to repeat, "You shouldn't get me something as expensive like this, Mom. But thank you. I love you." Seriously, what's the hell is Tracy's deal? Why can't she just accept that Mom gave her something that made her truly happy. Why can't she shut her mouth for a while and just accept it. She's too nice and that's what bothers me.

And because of my foul annoyance with Tracy (which she doesn't have any idea at all) and Joe's weird antics about her, I immediately grabbed the dress from my Mom's hand, managed to give her a small peck and off I went. I slammed the door shut, throwed the dress somewhere inside my closet and went directly to bed. Now, what should I tell Mom? Lie infront of her (which Mom doesn't really deserve, I love her too much to lie infront of her face) or tell her that I passed out that night because of Joe's vague mannerism throughout the night and it bothers me cause I love him ever since I laid my eyes on him or tell her that it's all Tracy's fault because she's too nice that it pisses me off?

Mom and Tracy looked at me expectantly, probably waiting for the answer so I cleared my throat and lied:

"I love it, Mom. It's really beautiful. Thank you."

Mom smiled at me gracefully and her eyes looked at me with much sincerity and love. I cringed inside. Mom is so loving, so caring and so selfless. She doesn't deserve this lying. I am supposed to tell her the truth, that I passed out last night when I heard Tracy's gentle voice piped up.

Damn. What a moment wrecker!

"Mom, really, You should've not bought me a Camera as expensive as like that. Really Mom. You shouldn't." Tracy blushed.

So I guess Mom bought her a Camera.

Mom caressed her hair and smiled at her, the same smile that she has given me seconds ago.

"Tracy, honey, You know I love to get and buy you things. I love it when I see you happy and I am ready to spend everything just to see both of you smile. So please, stop moping about it, Trace. And besides, you deserve it. You're grades are amazing, you got your co curriculars on your back and I recieved a call from your Principal informing me that you are recommended for Brown and Stanford. That's really amazing, honey. It really is. I am so proud."

Mom pecked Tracy's forehead and hugged her tight. Can you just feel the love? Not. Looking at them, acting so cheesy and having that "Mother-Daughter bonding" made me sick. Not that I'm jealous or anything, it's just that...I can't help but to hate Tracy more. And I certainly don't have any idea why.

xx
Right after I heard the bell signaling that the class is over, I hurriedly grabbed my things and stuffed everything inside my oversized backpack. I am so looking forward to this time of the day because I didn't get to see and talk to Nick since we don't have any classes together and we didn't get see each other during lunch cause I had Varsity meeting. I immediately went to Nick and I's meeting place, which is the bench infront of the school fountain. I noticed that Nick's not yet there so I decided to sat down for a while. I grabbed my Ipod and blasted some angry Avril Lavigne tunes. I tilted my head to the left and saw, in her rich glory, my sister, talking intently to Drew Malcolm, the Student Affairs President and I'm guessing they are talking about some cute (note the sarcasm) projects for the Charity Case again. Ugh. Her niceness really annoys me. I am not suppose to hate Tracy. She's my sister, for heaven's sake. And she's been nothing but a good passive sister around me so I shouldn't hold a grudge from her. She has done nothing but kindness so she doesn't deserve a hater like me. Let's face it, not a single person even hates her. Everyone thinks that she's good girl that is ready to help everyone. Not even Kresta Cumming's crowd makes fun of her. So you see my point? Tracy's unhateable, that's it. But why me, of all people had this certain hatred and anger towards her?

I tilted my head on the right side and to my surprise, I saw Joe and his crowd laughing wildly at their bench spot on the "Cool section" of the Fountain. Joe's group contain a lot of boys from the varsity and some skanky girls who can't help but to bitch around Joe. I began to compare Tracy and Joe and the idea of them gagged me. What am I even thinking? Tracy and Joe are completely different persons. Tracy's boring, passive, gentle, hates parties and is one proud Scholar while Joe. Joe's the life of the party, wild, jolly and direct. Tracy's the School's Certified Good Girl while Joe's the school's certified model of being a bad boy. So Tracy and Joe? Yeah, not gonna happen.

"I'm sorry, I had to attend a 5 minute meeting from Tudor's class. How long have you been waiting?" Nick surprised me as I turned off my Ipod and began to hear his heavy breathing.

"Not too long, Let's go?" I smiled as we walked to the Jonas' house.

As we arrived at the Jonas House, Nick and I were filled with silence. I looked at him confused and he looked at me confused as well. Nick asked me to set up my guitar while he checks out the Kitchen.

I began to open my Guitar case and started to tune the strings. While tuning, I can't help but to take a good look at the Jonas Living Room. I'm always amused by the house. It's very welcoming and it's very beautiful to stay at. It's something you can't resist to hang out and it's very classy. Also, I can't help but to admire the different designs that the house has. It has various amounts of breathtaking paintings and such; Not to mention Picture frames that shows the family's closeness and memories that they'll probably never forget. I began to rummage through some pictures and I can't help but to smile at them. I saw a picture of Kevin, Joe and Nick while they were still little kids. Their smiles are so amazing and I'm very captivated by their cute gesture. A gesture that somehow arrows their closeness with one another. I can't help but to admire the strong connection for each other. They are very close with one another and it's really cute and is very important in a family.

"Mom and Dad went out for Groceries with Frankie. Kevin's back to school and Joe's...well, obviously still at school." Nick sighed, holding a pitcher containing probably Root beer and a bag of Doritos. He sat at the couch and decided to strum an unfamiliar tune. I stared at him in awe and appreciation. I probably won't admit this to Nick but I kind of feel that I won't be this strong without him. It's like, without him, I would be dead. No, I'm not overreacting. But it's true. He's always there to help me and catch me whenever I'm on the pit of some crazy rollercoaster. He has become my rock, a shoulder and everything. I was too busy admiring him and I didn't notice that he's also looking at me intently. Our eyes bored with each other and a couple of butterflies appeared in my stomach. What the crap was that? I removed my sight on him and began to strum a strange tune out of it. I don't care if he's looking at me in some weird way because of what I'm playing, I just wanted to pause this awkward moment and kill those butterflies fluttering inside of me. Nick, probably sensing that some things have gone awkward decided to act like nothing has happened.

Nick cleared his throat. "So, The reason why I'm up for some jams is because I wrote a new song. Wanna hear it?" Nick asked me, his eyes beaming with excitement.

I nodded and smiled.

"But, I have some announcement." Nick smirked at me and I just shrugged. Seriously, I am not in the mood to talk right now, I'm just...a bit off today.

"I don't really need a guitar," Nick told me.

"Okay? But why did you ask me to bring a guitar if we don't need it?" I asked him, finally speaking.

"I thought were gonna use it. Besides, your guitar needs some riff and it's practically dead. So I figured, Hey, if Andie can't fix Helga, maybe I can." Nick said as a matter of factly.

I smiled at his kindness. Yes, Helga, my 3 year old guitar really needs a repair. I mean, I've barely used since Mom and Dad divorced. Before, I'm actually interested in making music and I'm actually inspired writing lyrics but now, No. My parents' divorce really caused a big impact on my Music.

"Oh, Nick. You didn't have to do this. Helga's dead, Get over it." I told him and I was surprised by my set of words. I'm not the type of person who usually gives something up that easy. Take Joe as an example.

"Hey, don't say that. She'll hear you." Nick winked and there it appeared again, damn those butterflies! Ugh.

Nick walked and I followed him. We reached their Organ and he sat down at the Organ Chair (or whatever you wanna call it.) I stood there awkwardly watching him and he motioned for me to sit beside him. I reluctantly agreed and watched his fingers touch the keys.

The first time I wont regret
One look into your eyes and I'll never forget
But you're not about to jump right into
This tonight
Wondering just what to do
Every single second in the room with you
I cant talk this over
To win you over
Here tonight

I can't help but to stare to his chocolate brown eyes. Mesmerizing.

So open your eyes
Dont say goodnight
Wondering why
Alone tonight
Ill just let it go for you

He looked at me hesistantly while his fingers graced the keys again. This time, I won't let those damned butterflies move me. I will listen to his lyrics intently from now on.

I'm letting you down
You are just hiding it so well
You're giving me no sign
No interest
You dont really want this, you dont really want this
So right now
Are you gonna try to save yourself
I bet you're so sick
Of hearing it
You dont really want this, you dont really want this

His lyrics claimed my soul as if it's something that is suppose to haunt me. Why am I feeling this? I should be feeling this for Joe. Only for Joe.

So hard to get, is that what its gonna be?
Sitting down not even looking at me
I hope forever
I wont remember
This tonight
So out the door
Gone away
Running so fast through the pouring rain
Gone forever
So much better
Here tonight

I'd throw it all away for you
If you took another look you'd be back so soon
All alone, a dark cold night
Wrapped around, you better hold on tight

He ended the song with a heartwarming smile that sends some chills up to my spine. He stared at me and I stared at him back with much ferocity. Oh here comes the awkward part again. Our heads began to get close but I swear I'm not making any move. What was that? Is it the Earth's gravity that keeps our head closer and closer? Our heads are almost intact and our lips are both puckered...Oh my lord, Am I really gonna kiss my best friend?!

"Oh hey guys," We almost screamed to death when we heard a male voice dooming our ears. We immediately pulled apart (Wow, weird for me to say knowing that we didn't kiss)

Joe looked at us weirdly and managed to pull a smile. He nodded at the both of us and I sighed in relief. Not only Joe my love of my life is safe and sound, but also because I didn't get to kiss my best friend. Because honestly, if that Kiss action happened, I don't know what gonna be our Friendship score after that.

We all went to back to the Main Living Room and sat back on the couch. I sat at the near end of the couch, Nick sat beside me while Joe sat at one of the individual couches and helped himself with some chips.

"So what's up? What are you guys up to?" Joe looked at Nick knowingly and Nick gave Joe an irritated look.

"Um, nothing. I heard Nick's new song and it's really beautiful," I smiled. Not only because I just realized that I'm creating a conversation with Joe and actually talking to him, it's also because I'm really proud and amazed of Nick's song and...well let's just say that I'm glad that kiss was postponed.

Joe smiled and grabbed another set of chips. "New song eh, Nick? Why didn't you tell me about it? You've been keeping secrets from your brother, Little bro." Joe smirked.

Nick glared. "It just came from my mind last night so I didn't get to tell you. That enough for an excuse?" Nick said.

Wow, I didn't expect that one coming.

Joe was surprised by Nick's harsh reaction, stood, ruffled Nick's curls, smiled at me and he was almost halfway of the stairs when he looked at us and yawned, "I'm gonna go and give you some privacy. Night guys," and off the love of my life.

I stared at Nick for quite a minute, obviously worried by his sudden outburst. He looked at me with much intensity and I began to wonder what is up between the two of us today. It's really freaking me out. Or both of us, for that matter. I fidgeted on my seat and smiled at him. I cannot contain this awkwardness anymore so I said:

"Walk me to my door?"

Nick and I walked silently and the wind of outside's environment engulfed the both of us.

"Andie, what's wrong?"

I huffed and rolled my eyes. Now I'm the one that's has "something wrong"

"There's nothing wrong with me, Nick." I rolled my eyes and he continued to look at me intently.

I sighed, he knows me too well. "Well okay, maybe something's bothering me and I know that you know what I'm talking about, Nick." I gave away.

"Joe, of course." Nick rolled his eyes.

"Well...Yes. But not only that! What's up with those awkward moments, Nick?" I asked him brutally.

He was taken aback my sudden outburst but I don't care. I need clarifications, now.

He looked at me in confusion as if he doesn't have any idea what I'm saying but he shrugged and grabbed my wrist.

"I just want you to hear my song, that's it. I didn't plan any of those "awkward moments", okay? So cheer up. I didn't mean to give you the cold shoulder." Nick assured me.

I smiled. But of course. Nick wouldn't feel something around me. He's my bestfriend for god's sake! We aren't meant to like each other.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Now tell me, what did my brother do this time?" Nick hooked his arms with mine and that's it. Just like that. Everything's back to normal.

xx

"Seriously, Ands, I don't know why you need to drag me up here. I'm gonna see your dress later eventually so why the sudden urge? Oh I know, is it because of my boyishly handsome appeal or..."

I cutted Nick's usual rambling and bragging before I proceed to the bathroom and get dressed. Tonight is Liam Dimaris party and I'm pretty excited. This is gonna be my first High School illegal party and I'm pretty stoked. Not to mention the first time that I'd be experimenting Operation:Get Joe.

I immediately put on my pink Prada Dress that Mom gave me as her welcome back gift and I can't help but to admire how the dress fits me. I've tried it a million times and I am in love with it. Remind me to kiss my Mom hundred times for being such a wonderful Shopping obssessed Mother.

I opened my bathroom door and there revealed Nick, comfortably lying on my bed with his eyes closed. His eyes opened immediately as I fake coughed. He was surprised by my sudden appearance and his eyes lingered around me. Wait, why do I suddenly felt nervous and intimidated? I bit my lip and asked him through my eyes. That's one thing I love about Nick and I's relationship. We don't need to talk to converse. Our eyes began to bore each other once again and I can't take it anymore. What? Doesn't he like it?

"What? You don't like it?" I asked vigorously.

"No..No!" He shook his head and my face fell. So he didn't like it, big whoop. He's not the one I'm trying impress anyway. Whatever.

"No! What I mean is, I like it. I love it! Really! Ands! I love it. You look absolutely amazing." He rambled.

Yeah right.

"Nick, you don't need to act and say you dig it. I know you don't like it, no big deal." I rolled my eyes.

"No! You misunderstood me! I love it. The reason why I didn't get to talk immediately is because I'm really really really amaze by what your wearing." Nick smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I love it. And I'm sure Joe would love it as well." Nick said as a matter of factly.

"Really?" Okay I sound dumb. Really. Really. Really. I think it's my word for the day.

"Really. So, I have to go now and get ready. Yeah know, for the ladies." Nick tried to do some Michael Jackson impersonation of Moonwalk and I just laughed at him. Oh good times.

"Okay. How are we gonna meet? I told my Mom that I'll be back by 1 but no biggie, she's out for the night so she won't know what time would I exactly be back." I informed him.

Mom's out for the day again. She told us early in the morning that she had to spend an overnighter at The Four Seasons (woah, that's really something) because she has a big Conference.

"Okay. I don't really have a curfew cause Mom trusts Joe that we'll be back before she knows it. So here's the plan. Joe and I are gonna fetch you here at around 8ish is that okay with you?"

Holy kettle corn, SAY WHAT?

"Joe's gonna fetch me? Here? At my house?" I asked dumbly, my eyes widening in bewilderment.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Duh, of course. He's the one whose gonna let us in. So--"

I cut Nick off for the second time. "Is it...Is it okay with Joe? I mean...Us? Going to the party?" I asked.

"Well, At first he doesn't like the idea of us, Juniors, uninvited, without an invitation going but Mom heard him and she said that we deserve some Highschool fun and we need to at least experience a Highschool party and of course Joe shot her back telling her that we don't suit for the party blah blah but Mom said that she won't allow Joe to the party unless we go. So yeah. That's basically it." He smirked.

I grinned widely and hugged Nick tight. "I love your Mom!"

"Of course you do. Anyway, I have to go. 8 okay? Bye Ands. See ya!"