I Can't Wait on You Forever

They say time fixes most things, but over time my little crush on Ryan has just gotten even bigger. What time doesn’t, you have to fix yourself. That’s exactly what I’m going to do now, fix this thing myself.

It’s been a week since I basically told Ryan how I feel about him and he hasn’t done a single thing about it. That boy had seven whole days to at least come back and tell me he only thinks of me as a friend, but I get nothing. Honestly, I’m shocked! After being best friends for as long as I can remember I expected I would at least get some sort of explanation, but instead I get awkward encounters when we bump into each other in the house and his empty seat at the table during dinnertime.

The only things I need in my life right now are Taylor and my tub or Ben and Jerry’s cheesecake ice cream; they’ll never do me wrong.

I called Taylor and asked if I could possibly stay the night with her. I just need a break from having to hide from him even in my own house.

“Ray, you have to talk to him. Casey says that Ryan seems upset, whether he will admit it or not!” Taylor was basically begging me to try and work things out with Ryan, but I think hearing him tell me that he doesn’t like me would break my heart. I would rather just assume the truth for myself.

“If he wants to talk to me, he would have by now. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and now look where I am. I probably lost one of the best friends I will ever have.” Sighing, I took another bite out of my bucket of ice cream. “Please? Will you not try for me?” She already knows my answer though, “I’m sorry Taylor, but I can’t. At least not right now.”

I can see that the crew is being affected by the tension between me and Ryan, but I’m at a loss on how to approach him now.

Taylor growled at me, and became really serious. “Enough of this! Raine, you’re a smart and beautiful girl! Not to mention probably one of the strongest people I know. Stop acting like you and Ryan broke up, you didn’t. He’s your best friend, and best friends fight. But until you can man up and go talk to him, stop being pitiful and don’t forget about all of your other friends.” She walked out of her room and slammed the door behind her.

Shit, now I have two friendships to fix. Every single thing that she told me is true though. Hell if I can deal with my mother leaving me for a damn job, I can handle a little teenage fight. Ryan Sheckler will not get the best of me. I won’t waste another day lying in this bed, feeling sorry for myself. I went downstairs to find Taylor and apologize for being selfish the past couple of days and only complaining about myself. I saw her lying on the couch and went up and tackled her onto the ground.
“You are absolutely right and I am sorry for being a selfish bitch these past couple of days! I’m stronger than this and I’m not going to let him get to me.” I confessed, basically summarizing my little pep talk I had given myself and regurgitating it back to her. She smiled, pulling me in for a hug. “There’s the girl I know,” I laughed. “Thank you for being here though, and for telling me exactly what I didn’t want to but needed to hear.”

“What are best friends for? Now let’s go get ready and go to the beach or something fun. We have to get you out of the house!”

After getting out of the shower, I decided to go natural and let my hair dry wavy without any makeup. We decided that we would go chill on the beach and watch the sunset as the surfers come in.

Taylor was still sitting in the sand as I walked down to the water. Even after living in San Clemente my entire life I have yet to get used to its beautiful beaches, especially as the sun comes up or goes down.

I felt something hard hit my side and next thing I knew I was face first in the ankle deep water. I sat up hoping no one saw, shaking the sand out of my hair and brushing it off my clothes. A boy stood before me looking shocked. He flipped his shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes and extended a perfectly muscular, tan arm down to help me up. “Woah there babe, I already have you falling for me huh?” He asked with a playful grin. I continued to brush more sand off me as I tried to figure out my words so I wouldn’t make a fool out of myself. I decided to brush off his line and apologized for bumping into him like that. “Sorry, I’m really clumsy,” I smiled shyly.

“If anyone should be sorry, it should be me.” He retorted quickly. “I totally wasn’t looking and nailed you with my board. It was a pretty gnarly fall though if I do say so myself.” I don’t think anybody could made me feel as normal as he did about literally falling on my face as he did, besides Ryan.

I smiled, and let a small giggle escape my lips. “Well I’m glad falling and embarrassing myself works for me.” I said sarcastically.

His eyebrows furrowed and a playful smirk sat on his lips. “Why would you be embarrassed?”

“Oh I don’t know. Because busting my ass in front of a cute guy is a great first impression.”

He laughed, “Oh, so now I’m cute huh?” I could feel the blush creeping up onto my cheeks.

“I’m just going to stop talking now,” I mumbled without making eye contact.

“No, keep going. I like where this is headed.” I sighed in relief, glad he didn’t think my word vomit was awkward; or a lame attempt at hitting on him. The conversation was naturally just flowing, and something about this guy gave me a sudden burst of confidence while making me feel nervous at the same time.

I glanced at back at Taylor, who was talking to somebody. Wait make that three somebodies, and if my eyes aren’t fooling me it would be Casey, Tony and Ryan. Apparently they chose today to come surf. I’ve been avoiding Ryan for a week and have managed to do quite well, and I run into him outside of the house?
I tried to keep my attention on the cute guy in front of me, but the look on Ryan’s face kept pulling my attention back. He looked mad, furious even. Maybe it would be best if I went over there. If our first encounter since the fight was in front of our friends then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

“As nice as it was ‘falling for you’ I should probably get back to my friends,” I trialed off and took a few steps back.

“But I didn’t even catch your name!”

“Raine, like the weather.” I winked and turned around to walk off.

“Well I’m Justin, by the way!” he said. I just turned my head to him and smiled before walking back to Taylor. Ryan saw me coming and totally bailed, turning on his heel and walking the other direction. Taylor, Casey, and Tony just stood there shocked. And that was why I hadn’t tried to fix things yet, out of the fear of being shut down.

“Ray, I’m sorr..” Taylor started but I held up my hand to cut her off.
“No, it’s fine. I’m just going to head home,” Acting as if it didn't bother me, I turned around before they could say anything else to me.
I walked the mile trip back home, kicking rocks and just thinking.

There was no reason for Ryan to run off like he had, but what would I have done? I’m still confused about why he’s mad though. Honestly I was just mad at him because he was mad at me. I was just trying to help him out. He’s such an amazing guy and it’s so unfair that girls never see that. All they see is pro skater Ryan Sheckler, not just Ryan. Ryan, the guy who would do anything to make his friends happy. Not Ryan, who would treat any girl like a princess. My Ryan. I was going to talk to him tonight. Whether or not we would ever work out in a relationship, I needed him there as a friend.

His Range Rover was already parked in the driveway by the time I got back to the house. It's not surprising since I walked, not that I minded though. It gave me time to think everything out and come to a conclusion. I knew I had to swallow my pride and fix things. I went and took a shower and changed into a more comfortable outfit, which basically consisted of Nike shorts and a t-shirt.

Walking out of my room and down the hall to Ryan’s felt like miles and miles, and I could feel my heart beat in my stomach. I knocked on the door once, no reply. I knocked again, and opened the door. Peeking in, I saw Ryan sitting at his desk on his laptop. “Ry we need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said without looking up. He shut the laptop and flopped down onto the bed, laying on his stomach. I was not about to take that as an answer. How could he not tell this was killing me?

He didn't acknowledge me as I made my way over towards his bed. I climbed in beside him hoping he wouldn't push me away. He didn't refuse me, but he didn't accept me either. Time for a new approach. I hopped on top of him and straddled his back, not in a sexual way at all. Just because this way he couldn't pretend I wasn't there. I started to rub his back, massaging his shoulders and neck hoping this would break the ice.

"I don't even remember why we're fighting, but I don't like it. I miss you," I admitted after a few minutes of silence.

He sighed, "Because we're both too stubborn for our own good."

Nodding at the truth to his words, I replied, "You know I love you Ry. I didn't say anything I did to hurt you, I was just trying to help." I rolled off his back and flipped onto the bed beside him. He rolled over so we were facing each other, and stared into my eyes.

I wanted to kiss him so bad right now but that wasn't an option, it never had been.

"Good lookin' out Ray. I shouldn't have let some girl come between us," And with him saying just that, I felt like I was ten pounds lighter. I had my Ryan back. He flashed me his million dollar smile that made girls swoon all over the world and pulled me into a hug. I just laid there in his embrace thinking how lucky I was to be where I am.

"Well we all make mistakes." Words couldn't explain how glad I was, because finally my life was back to normal.