Status: Slowly coming together.
Jason.
One.
When my father was about six years old, his parents packed up and left, along with his two siblings. They abandoned him. I always wonder the same thing when I think about that. Why him? Why didn't they take him, too?
He lived alone for a while until someone (I don't know who) discovered him. From there, Jason was placed in the California foster care system. He was moved around a lot, going from foster home to foster home. Until he found the Luffs. (I believe that was their last name. I'm not completely sure.) I don't know how old he was when he moved in with them, but they seemed to fit.
I remember reading about the first time my mom saw him. She made him sound so dreamy. I wouldn't know, though. I've only ever seen a photo of him once and I don't remember what he looks like...except for blue eyes, a blonde mullet and a mustache. I've always wanted to ask if I could see that picture again...but I'm afraid of how my mom will react.
They met through her neighbor, Todd, I believe his name was. They spent a lot of time together; taking walks, going to parties, ditching school to go to the beach or to ride ATVs.
One of my dad's best friends was named Matt. He and my mom are still friends, they talk every once in a while. I remember my mom telling me about a year ago that when I was little, every time we'd go over to visit Matt, he'd always mention how much I looked like Jason...and that I should get into this or that because Jason would have wanted me to. My mom confessed that she stopped talking to Matt for a while because it hurt to be constantly reminded of my father, even though I was a spinning image of him (apparently) that was stuck with her twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. She told me that Matt and Jason were best friends....and that Matt never quite got over what Jason did to himself and everyone else he knew.
It felt alien to me, thinking that other people mourned for him. Half of who I am came from this man...and yet I'm not one bit sad when I think about him. Only angry, disgusted, and a majority of the time, numb.
I don't know what to think sometimes...so I just try not to. That's why updates on this will be so spaced out.
He lived alone for a while until someone (I don't know who) discovered him. From there, Jason was placed in the California foster care system. He was moved around a lot, going from foster home to foster home. Until he found the Luffs. (I believe that was their last name. I'm not completely sure.) I don't know how old he was when he moved in with them, but they seemed to fit.
I remember reading about the first time my mom saw him. She made him sound so dreamy. I wouldn't know, though. I've only ever seen a photo of him once and I don't remember what he looks like...except for blue eyes, a blonde mullet and a mustache. I've always wanted to ask if I could see that picture again...but I'm afraid of how my mom will react.
They met through her neighbor, Todd, I believe his name was. They spent a lot of time together; taking walks, going to parties, ditching school to go to the beach or to ride ATVs.
One of my dad's best friends was named Matt. He and my mom are still friends, they talk every once in a while. I remember my mom telling me about a year ago that when I was little, every time we'd go over to visit Matt, he'd always mention how much I looked like Jason...and that I should get into this or that because Jason would have wanted me to. My mom confessed that she stopped talking to Matt for a while because it hurt to be constantly reminded of my father, even though I was a spinning image of him (apparently) that was stuck with her twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. She told me that Matt and Jason were best friends....and that Matt never quite got over what Jason did to himself and everyone else he knew.
It felt alien to me, thinking that other people mourned for him. Half of who I am came from this man...and yet I'm not one bit sad when I think about him. Only angry, disgusted, and a majority of the time, numb.
I don't know what to think sometimes...so I just try not to. That's why updates on this will be so spaced out.
♠ ♠ ♠
This chapter is a bit pointless, I suppose. Just a lot of random backround info, again. But, I've been attempting to do some research lately and only a few minutes ago, I found out a few more things about my dad...so I thought I'd write a little something to help clear my head.He was born on March 7th, 1973. (I completely got his birthdate wrong in the intro.)
He died on January 31st, 1991.
I now have his SSN.
I know his biological mother's maiden name.
For some reason....I freaked out when I found all that out.
Even though they're tiny details...it's making the whole picture a lot clearer.
To those of you that have read, subscribed, and commented: thank you. It means a lot to see that people are interested and/or touched by this.