Trading Spaces

My eyes fluttered half open, and then blinked twice before opening completely. I looked at the ceiling, and wondered why the hell I was in Gustav’s room. I don’t remember drinking last night. In fact, I remember perfectly what happened. The guys and I went out to a Chinese restaurant for a last minute get-together plan, then we all went home. I mean, they went to their houses, and Bill and I went to our house. So... Why am I in Gustav’s room?

With a huff, I sat up and looked around. Yup, definitely Gustav’s room. It was way to neat and clean to be mine. I wonder if Bill did something while I was sleeping. After all, I am a pretty heavy sleeper. Maybe he took me to Gustav’s house, and since I was half asleep, I didn’t remember driving over here. That has to be the explanation. I’ve never slept in Gustav’s bed, and this is definitely the last time.

I stood up and walked to the door, where I noticed a few things. My head felt lighter, and my body felt heavier. I was getting really worried now. Instead of reaching up to feel if my dreads were there or not, I kept my arms down and walked across the hall to the bathroom. I was way too scared to find out. I swear, if Bill had anything to do with this...

When I flipped on the bathroom light and looked into the mirror, though, I screamed. I was... Gustav! Why the hell was I Gustav? I’m Tom! Tom Kaulitz, thank you, not Gustav!

"Oh my, God!“ I screamed, turning off the light. Maybe I was just way too tired for my own good. With hesitation, I slowly flipped the light on again, and screamed. Again. No, no, I was still Gustav, and I felt like crying. "I’m so... flabby!"

I spent a few minutes staring in horror at Gustav. Or, me. Whatever. Where was the amazing sex god that I’ve come to love, me? Gustav must have been me... It’s the only semi-logical explanation, since this certainly wasn’t a logical event.

"I’ll just call Gu – er, me, and get this figured out,“ I mumbled to myself as I quickly walked out of the bathroom and back into Gustav’s room. He must have his cell phone around here somewhere.

The next ten minutes was spent looking for the damn phone. I went through his drawers, looked on his desk and bedside table, and even got on my hands and knees to look for it under the bed. I was about to give up when I suddenly remembered that he actually didn’t keep it in his room. He once told us that he keeps his charger in the living room, which was most likely where his phone was. With squinted eyes and a pissed mood, I slowly sauntered into the living room, where, as I suspected, his phone lay on the coffee table. I felt like ramming my head into a wall at this point.

I quickly grabbed the phone and called me and Bill’s home phone. It just rang and rang. Gustav had to have been up by now, it was 10:00am for crying out loud!

"Come on, come on, come on,“ I murmured, growing very impatient. Finally, the ring stopped midway.

"Hello?“ came a tired voice.

"Bill!“ I yelled loudly. "What the hell were you doing?“

"Um...“ was all a shocked Bill replied with. "I was sleeping, Gustav. What do you want?“ he whined. I stared at the blank TV with a short expression.

"Lemme talk to Gu – I mean, Tom,“ I said. It took Bill a few moments to respond again. I figured he was going to my room to get Gustav, or Tom, whatever.

"Tom’s still sleeping. I’ll tell him to call you back when he wakes up,“ Bill finally said, yawning mid-sentence. "Talk to you later, Gustav.“

"No!“ I practically screamed just before Bill was going to hang up. I heard him sigh and put the phone back to his ear.

"What?“

"Wake him up. No, wait... I’m just going to come over. I’ll be there in a few minutes,“ I said in one blur of sentence.

"Wait,“ Bill said, but I hung up on him. Seeing as I already had some pants on, I just grabbed the nearest shirt and hat. It was odd, wearing clothing that wasn’t twenty sizes bigger than what my body was. It was even odder wearing a hat without my dreads to fill them.

Just as I was about to head out the door, slipping his shoes on on the way, I suddenly stopped. I had to piss. Fuck. I am not going into that bathroom to relieve myself when I am in this body, so screw it. My bladder will just have to wait.

The drive over to my house was a strange experience. I hated Gustav’s dinky little woman-car. But here I am, driving it. I missed my body. I missed knowing that I could walk down a street and be so amazingly attractive that at least half the females on said street would faint...

When I finally arrived at my house, I got out of the car and walked up to the front door. I was about to just walk in, but I then remembered that I’m not me, I’m Gustav, and that would be a little weird. We’re great friends and all, but having Gustav just walk into our house would be kind of odd. So instead, I rang the doorbell.

It took Bill a few minutes to answer, but I suspect that’s because he seriously didn’t think I was coming over. As soon as he opened the door, I pushed past him and walked straight to my room. Bill seemed a bit out of it from still being half asleep, which only added to the amount of shock he was in.

I opened my door and sure enough, there was my beautiful, sleeping body on my bed. Bill followed me in, looking over my shoulder, probably expecting to see something mind-blowing.

"Gustav, what are you doing here?“ Bill finally asked, after a few seconds of us just staring at me, or, him... Gustav as Tom, whatever. I stared at Gustav-me with a mixture of emotions, such as sadness, frustration, bewilderment, and helplessness. Bill, on the other hand, most likely only had three words going through his mind: what the fuck.

"I really need to talk to Tom. Alone. So, could you give me a few minutes alone with him?“ I asked him with an expressionless face. He squinted one of his eyes and frowned.

"Um, alright. I’ll just... wait out in the living room,“ he told me, slowly backing up.

"Yeah, thanks,“ I quickly said, slamming the door in his face. I didn’t have time for this shit. He probably thought I was going to rape myself. I don’t blame him, though. I’m damn fine.

I slowly turned on my heels to face the sleeping Gustav-me again, with furrowed brows. One step, two step, three step. Before I knew it, I was already in front of my sleeping self, looking down to see my beautiful face. So peaceful...

"Wake up, you asshole!“ I yelled extremely loudly, slapping Gustav’s face. Gustav jumped up with a scream, falling off the other side of the bed. I snorted. His head peeked up over the edge, looking around. When his eyes landed on me, in his less-than-amazing body, his eyes widened and he screamed again. God, I have such an amazing scream, and I missed it! "Shut up,“ I snapped.

"W-who are you?“ Gustav asked in utter shock.

"I’m you, moron. Well, I’m you in your body... It’s Tom!“ I impatiently told him. Gustav looked at me with a blank expression, seeming to be processing this in his mind carefully.

"So... we’re both Gustav?“

I face-palmed.

"No, damn it. I, Tom, am in your body, and you are in mine. Go look in the mirror,“ I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. Gustav snorted, stood up, and walked over to the mirror on my closet door. I was just waiting with anticipation for him to see the reflection, though I could do without another scream again.

Unfortunately, I was right. Gustav screamed like a little girl, which was really making me look bad.

"Shut up, man!“ I yelled at him.

"Um, are you guys alright in there?“ we heard Bill ask from the other side of the door.

"Yes,“ Gustav squeaked.

"Okay then,“ Bill replied with an unsure tone. I heard him walk back down the hall, most likely to the computer room.

"Just concentrate. All you have to do is act like me, and I’ll act like you,“ I explained, using plenty of hand motions along the way. Gustav just looked at me for a few moments.

"So,“ he finally said. "All I have to do is act like a self-righteous asshole? Hi, I’m Tom Kaulitz, and I have sex with a different girl every other hour! I have so many STDs, I make a prostitute look innocent!“ Gustav said with a stupid expression, followed by him scratching his ass. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Fine. Hi, I'm Gustav Schäfer. I constantly walk as if I have a stick up my ass, I'm so quiet that people are considering the possibility that I'm a mute, and I talk to girls as often as I change hairstyles. Oh, and I'm short,“ I said with a smirk. Gustav looked like he had just eaten something sour; his mouth curved into a stiff frown as his right eye vaguely twitched. I giggled.

"Alright, alright, normal. Well, normal for you, anyways.“ Gustav seemed unsure about it all; he looked distraught. But, since it was my body, he sexily seemed distraught, because I’m sexy.

"Right. Well, I’m going to get breakfast,“ I said, turning around and walking out my bedroom. Down the hall I went, where I found Bill sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal, watching tv. He looked over and smiled.

"So, you have everything all squared away?“ he asked after swallowing a bite. I nodded, then walked through the archway into the kitchen, where I would prepare my own bowl.

"I just had to straighten something out with him,“ I said loudly, so that Bill could hear from the other room. I assumed Gustav was getting dressed. He probably skipped the shower like I did, for fear of seeing things that were better left unseen.

With my bowl full of delicious, slightly nutritious cereal, I walked back into the living room and sat down next to Bill, just like I always did. He was already done, so he got up to put his bowl in the sink. As he left the room, a poorly-coordinated, but dressed, Gustav came into the room, and plopped down next to me, in Bill’s spot. He looked over at me, then back at the tv.

"Tomi,“ Bill whined, walking over. I was about to ask him what was wrong now, when I remembered that today, I wasn’t Tom. "You’re in my spot!“

Without any warning, Bill sat down on Gustav’s lap and put his feet up on the coffee table. To me, that would have been typical Bill, but Gustav wasn’t quite as used to this kind of thing. A look of sheer horror splashed onto his face, causing a chuckle to slip out.

"It’s not my fault! Tell Gustav to move, and you can have your damn spot!“ Gustav yelled, that look of horror still plastered on his face. He pushed Bill off of his lap, where he landed on the floor, and whipped his head around to me. "Get out of my spot,“ he demanded. I almost choked on the cereal that was in my mouth.

"This isn’t your spot,“ I replied firmly. He smirked.

"Do you live here? I thought not, so get outta my seat,“ he said, shooing me. Damn him being in my body! This was my favorite spot, the only spot my ass fit in perfectly, like a puzzle piece. With a grumble, I moved over just enough for Gustav to squeeze in between Bill and I.

After that, we basically just sat around, watching TV for at least a half an hour before Bill spoke again.

"Oh! I forgot to remind you that we have an interview here in two hours, so we have to be leaving around now,“ Bill said, looking at the clock on the wall. I sighed. Now I would have to go out in public looking like this.

"Do we have to leave right now?“ I whined, sinking farther into the couch. Bill looked at me oddly.

"You’re usually the one who’s ready to go like that, why are you so damn lazy today?“

"Uh... I stayed up all night talking to my mommy. I really miss her,“ I said with a frown and a sniff. Gustav stared at me with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows. It took all my self control not to grin. "I cried a lot.“

"Aw, are you alright now?“ Bill looked both sad for me and disturbed at the same time. I was getting a kick out of this.

"Yes,“ I sniffed, looking down.

After a few seconds of silence, Bill just nodded slowly and slid out of the room. Gustav shot his head around at me with an angry look. Then he punched me in the arm.

"Ow!“ I cried, rubbing the now sore spot.

"’I miss my mommy’? I’m going to kill you, you asshole.“ Before he could do any more, however, Bill walked back in with my car keys and a smoothie.

"Come on, guys! We have to pick up Georg, as well. We’re going to also go out to lunch afterward. It’ll be one of those split things, so bring some money or something,“ he commanded, tossing the keys to Gustav. Gustav looked over at me with a sly grin.

"Alright. Come on, Gustav, let’s go. My car isn’t going to wait forever, you know,“ he said. 'Not my baby!’ I wanted to scream it out, but I knew if I did that, Bill would get a little more creeped out, and that would raise suspicions quite a bit.

I’m just going to have to tough it out...