He's a Bitch

Gerard POV

I swear if it wasn't for school and food, I'd never leave my room. I spent the whole day yesterday laying here. Today was Monday, but after school I just came straight up to my room and collapsed onto my bed with a few beers that I'd found at teh bottom of the fridge again....honestly, mum and dad need to find a new hiding place for it. I've been avoiding Mikey a lot. I still don't know if he and Frank are back together; I'm too reluctant to ask in case I get the response I dread. Mikey's been kind of concerned about me, but he's just written it off as a mood swing. Mum and dad have just written it off as teenage angst...and of course, alcohol.

I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that mine and Frank's friendship is over. I stopped going to see him after Mikey told me he wanted to get back with him...and I haven't heard from Frank since. We never exchanged numbers or anything.

That reminded me....he still has my camera. I'll let him keep it.

My life has been pretty boring since I stopped seeing Frank. Ray and Bob are too busy with each other....they finally told their girlfriends that they wanted to break up. But the girls didn't seem too disappointed, considering they hooked up with each other after the break up. Why does everyone except me have someone? It's so depressing. Mikey most likely has Frank now. Ray and Bob have each other and I just feel like crying whenever I see them being all lovey dovey. Bert no doubt has three people at the same time...and even if he didn't I bet he'd just screw around with Quinn or someone.

And then there's just me. Just Gerard. Not Gerard and someone...just Gerard.

There was a noise downstairs, but I just assumed that it was the wind making the blinds hit against the lounge room windows and I ignored it. My assumption was wrong. A few minutes later, my door creaked open. I thought it was Mikey, because if it was my mum she would aleady be ranting about how messy my room was, and my dad doesn't go into my room if he can help it, just for the fact that it was so messy.

"I'm not coming out, don't bother," I whined, not looking up.

There was no sound of movement.

"Just go, Mikey," I said, angrily.

"Um...hi Gerard," said an obviously not Mikey voice.

I raised my face out of the pillow and turned it slowly, focusing my eyes on Frank. I just stared at him as he stood in the doorway. He was wearing a black hoodie, long black shorts and white Etnies. About a minute later, I came to my senses and actually spoke. Great, now he probably thinks I was checking him out...well, I was kinda.

"Mikey's out," I said, bluntly.

He didn't say anything, just stood there awkwardly.

"He's out," I said again.

"Oh," he replied, as though I'd only just said it.

"You...you're out of hospital now?"

"Yeah...." He paused before continuing. "I didn't come to see Mikey."

"Oh," I said, lost for words. He'd come to see me?

He turned his head to look at the TV and raised an eyebrow. I was watching sport because there was nothing else on.

"I didn't pick you as the sporting type," he said.

"You saying I'm fat?" I asked defensively.

I don't really know why I was being so hostile towards him. I guess part of me knew that nothing was ever going to happen between us and...it actually upset me.

"No." He looked down at his shoes, his face falling. He mumbled something that I could barely here, but I swear it sounded like, "I already told you that you're hot."

"What was that?" I sat up on my bed, and he raised his head to look at me.

"You stopped coming to see me," he said, looking a bit hurt.

"Yeah...so?" I asked aggressively.

He stared at me in shock.

"I should go," he said, but made no move to leave.

"You probably should," I said, lying down.

He still didn't move.

"Mikey said...he said you've found someone," Frank said, avoiding my eyes. "You've got a new boyfriend then?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"He said you were happier then usual, so he thought you must have found someone," he shrugged.

"He must have the wrong idea," I said, shrugging. "I haven't dated since Bert....I haven't gotten any since Bert either." I laughed slightly as Frank rolled his eyes, smiling. "He wasn't even that good. And he keeps making cracks about how I was bad in bed. I bet he just did that because he thought I'd make cracks about him first. But...I'm not like him."

Frank and I were silent for a moment.

"Want to watch something?" I offered.

A smile came across his face and he nodded, settling down on the floor and leaning his back against my bed. I was kind of disappointed that he hadn't sat next to me on the bed, but eh...things can't always go my way. I crawled forward on my bed and lay on my stomach, facing the TV so my head was next to Frank's.

"This sucks, want to watch something else?"

"Nah, I'm cool," he replied, shaking his head. "The floor's not too comfortable."

I patted the spot next to me on the bed. He clambered onto the bed and settled back on my pillow. I crawled back up the bed and lay on my back next to him.

"Who are you?" I asked, staring at him.

"Uh...I'm Frank, remember?" he said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I don't know anything abouut you," I stated. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, um...ok...I'm Frank Anthony Iero, I'm 14 but I'll be 15 soon....I play guitar, I love the Misfits, Bouncing Souls, Black Flag, etc etc...uh, I'm vegetarian...um, that's all I can think of right now....How about you?"

Tell Frank about myself? I'm Gerard Way and I'm an alcoholic.... Great, that sounds like I'm at an AA meeting or something.

"Ok, I'm Gerard Arthur Way, I'm 19, I can sing when I want to....I love Queen, Iron Maiden, the Misfits, Smashing Pumpkins and more stuff, um...yeah...oh, and I like art and drawing and stuff...and coffee....I love coffee."

"You're 19?" he asked, confused. "Why're you still in school?"

I hoped I'd never have to tell him this. It's so embarrassing.

"I'm repeating my senior year," I muttered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

I felt myself blush....I just hoped that he didn't notice.

"Why're you embarrassed by that?" Frank asked.

Goddammit, he noticed.

"It's the reason why I'm repeating that's embarrassing,"I mumbled. "I-I started drinking after I broke up with Bert and I failed nearly all the subjects I was taking...so I had to repeat."

Frank just nodded, not saying anything. We lay in silence, both staring at the TV screen but neither of us was actually taking notice of what was on. Frank turned to me a while later and broke the silence.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked me.

"It's not something that gonna change my life in some dramatic way is it?" I asked.

"Uh...I don't think so."

"You can if you want."

"Well...I'm a virgin."

I rolled over and looked at him, not able to believe it. "No way."

He just nodded.

"But...you and Bert...."

He sighed. "I mean...I've never been the one getting fucked to put it plainly."

"Serious?"

"I've never taken before," he shrugged. Then he looked up at me. "What's it like losing your virginity?"

"It hurts...a lot. Oh and here's a tip...use lube. Lots and lots of it. And make sure whoever your doing it with prepares you first. Like three fingers or something. It'll still hurt, but not as much as if you just do it without preparation....and unless your 100% sure they don't have STDs use a condom...." I broke off, realising that I sounded like a Sex Ed. teacher. "God I feel so old...giving someone the sex talk."

"I know about sex," he said, a small grin on his face. "Learnt it all before...but they never teach you about gay sex. Unless you count the fact that they're always drilling into us that gay guys are more likely to get AIDs."

I just nodded and laughed. There was a brief silence between us. Again, Frank broke it.

"Gerard, am I a bad person?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"You just do bad things," I replied. "You're not a bad person....You can change if you really try."

He sighed and snuggled into my pillow. His eyes closed for a brief moment, but then they opened again and focused on me. We lay looking at each other for a moment. Then he reached a hand up and trailed his fingers lightly over my still-clothed chest.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

He took his hand away and leant furhter back into the pillow, glancing back at the TV. We lay quiet for another moment....Frank's hand inched towards my chest again, up it and to my cheek. He stroked my cheek and smiled slightly. I didn't smile back...this wasn't right, but then...why did I like it? He moved his body closer to me, so that I felt his warmth pressing against my side and his legs tangled with mine s he cuddled into me.

"Frank...no."

"I'm not gonna try and fuck you....I'm not even gonna kiss you," he whispered, smiling again as he tucked his arms around my waist. "I like being like this....you make me feel safe."

I sighed and didn't move. Nothing bad could come of just letting him lay here with me...could it? The dude was just looking for someone to protect him...it didn't mean he was in love with me or anything. I mean, I didn't love him. It was just a stupid crush, right? My arms seemed to have minds of their own, and I found them wrapping around Frank's small body, pulling him closer to me.

"Gerard, you wanna go out for some ice-cream sometime?" Frank asked softly.

"Um...ok," I said hesitantly. "....We could go now."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

He stood up and pulled me up to standing. He smiled slightly as he ran a hand through my hair.

"I like your hair," he commented. "Suits you."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Um...where's Mikey?" Frank asked anxiously.

"Why?"

"I-I got back with him," he murmured, hanging his head.

He did what?! I just lost it...I felt so angry.

"How could you do that?!" I yelled.

Frank looked at me in shock as I shoved him out of my room and locked the door. I tried hard not to, but I broke down into tears and buried my face in my pillow. Why do I always fall for the assholes?

"Gerard?" Frank called through the door. I heard the handle jiggle. "Gerard?!"

"Fuck off!" I yelled.

There was a silence and then a crash as my door was kicked in. I looked up in shock; I didn't know the little guy had it in him...but then I just narrowed my eyes, grabbed a beer off my beside table, which was still three quarters full and threw it at him. It hit him in the chest and the beer split all over his clothes. He just stared at me as I buried my face back in my pillow and continued to cry.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

I sat up and glared at him.

"Isn't it obvious?!" I bellowed. "I like you!"

Frank's face changed; he looked surprised and somewhat relieved.

"I like you too," he whispered.

Frank moved a little closer to me, cautiously. No other words were exchanged; I stood up and our lips collided. I wasn't even thinking...I was just being. I needed this so bad; I needed this fix of Frank's addictive touch. He was like a drug, I swear. More addictive then alcohol even.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and his hands came up to rest on the back of my neck, massaging gently were my hair met my scalp. Fuck, this was so good....my eyes rolled back in my head. Kissing Frank was like kissing chocolate; he tasted so sweet. I needed more; I needed to be the one in contol. I turned us around and shoved him roughly onto the bed as I clambered on top of him. I saw his eyes widen at the turn of events but he quickly adjusted to the new position adn giggled. I smiled down at him; he was just too cute.

We continued to kiss and his hand traveled downwards and grabbed at my crotch. I threw my head back and moaned loudly, and he attached his lips to my neck, sucking hard. I could tell it was going to leave a mark. I wanted it to leave a mark to show that I was his territory and nobody else was allowed me. Once he was satisfied with the way he'd marked my neck, our lips collided again and I pushed my tongue into his mouth and I massaged it against his as he continued to massage my package through my jeans and boxers.

My breath caught in my throat as he unzipped my pants and shoved a hand into my boxers. I breathed heavily as his hand pumped up and down, getting faster by the second. Fucking hell, this is good. I hadn't been with anyone, let alone been given a hand job since Bert...and being a teenage guy, so you know how fucking frustrating that is?

I focused all my attention on Frank, feeling his soft fingers curled around my length as he pumped faster. He continued to kiss me, getting rougher and more forceful by the second and I fought hard not to rip both our clothes off and fuck him senseless then and there. The dude's a virgin...so I don't think he'd appreciate it very much at the moment.

I broke away from Frank when I felt the need for oxygen and he smiled up at me, a mischievous gleam in those entrancing eyes of his. He thumbed the tip of my length softly and his smile widened as a quiet moan escaped through my lips. It almost amazed me at how gentle he could be; I just assumed that he'd be the type of guy who likes it hard and rough all the time. But I was seeing a different side to him, maybe a side that nobody else had seen before.

Frank cupped the back of my head with the hand that wasn't preoccupied in my pants, and pulled me down for another kiss. I didn't hesitate at all and gladly let his tongue slip through my lips and caress mine.

"Fuck, this is good," I panted as we broke apart again.

Frank stroked the side of my face, brushing back my hair and then angled his head to the side. His lips found my earlobe and he sucked gently, occasionally breaking the whisper things into my ear. I could barely hear him but I heard words like 'hot' and 'sexy' as he continued to suck on my earlobe.

Eventually I could feel that I was about to come. The feeling of Frank's lips on my earlobe and the feeling of him giving me hand was a lethal combination and I knew that I couldn't hold out any longer. I moaned Frank's name as I reached my climax and I came into his hand. My mouth curled into a smile of pleasure as I felt my cum spill over Frank's skin. He withdrew his hand from my boxers and lay back down on the bed, bringing his hand up to his face and licking it off, taking his time as he looked into my eyes. Fuck, seeing him do that made more blood rush to my pants and I fought not to became hard again.

I sat there on his waist, regaining my breath and waiting for my heart to stop racing. And that's when the overwhelming dread seeped in. I clambered off him and off my bed, the situation finally becoming clear to me....Frank had just cheated on Mikey...with me. I felt so ashamed. I felt cheap and dirty. I hurried over to my chest of drawers and pulled off my pants and, almost forgetting Frank was there, my boxers. I turned and noticed him just staring at my package.

"This can't happen again," I said firmly, but inside I was trying not to cry. "It should never have happened."

I quickly pulled out a clean pair of boxers and pants, and pulled them both on. When I looked back up, I realised that Frank was right in front of me. He looked seriously into my eyes.

"I like you," he said simply.

"I like you too," I replied. "But that doesn't mean that what we just did was right."

"Felt right to me," he mumbled.

"It wasn't right," I said urgently.

"But I really like you." It looked like he had tears in his eyes.

In a millisecond, my lips had found his and we were kissing again. I just got lost in the moment and pinned Frank against the wall, kissing him hard. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. I pulled away from the kiss and traced my fingers over Frank's face, over all his beautiful features. He closed his eyes and sighed, a smile on his face.

I felt like I owed his something for how he'd satisfied me before, so I sank to my knees and busied myself with undoing his belt. He looked down at me in shock as I unzipped his pants and yanked them and his boxers down, exposing him to my eyes. He was pretty big considering his height and by the looks of things, already semi-hard....I'm going to have to do something about that. I glanced up at him; his eyes were wide as he waited to see what I was going to do. I smirked and leant my head towards him. His hips thrust out to meet me before I had even gotten close enough to suck him off. I grabbed his hips and pinned him firmly to the wall.

"Settle sugar," I purred.

I licked my lips and leant forward again, taking him into my mouth and sucking gently. He let out a small moan and I felt his fingers tangle with my hair, pushing me further onto his length. I bit down gently to warn him not to start fucking my mouth and he let out a hissing sound.

"Fuck." He breathed out heavily.

His hips thrust forward again and I quickly avoided gagging by swallowing and letting Frank's length slide to the back of my throat. He let out a pleased maon and leant his head back against the wall. I pinned down his hips once more and traced soft circles over his hipbones with my fingers as I sucked harder. He kept trying to thrust forward but I held him firmly against the wall. I traced my tongue up and down his length, along the tip; flicked it quickly across the middle to tease him. His breathing became heavier and he gripped more tightly onto my hair, telling my without words that he was close.

I took that as a signal to suck harder and I did, making Frank moan louder. His body shuddered and I felt him explode inside my mouth. I swallowed his cum and looked up at him; he was panting and sweat was shining on his forehead. I assisted him in pulling up his pants and boxers, and his hands shook as he re-buckled his belt.

"That was incredible," he whispered, looking down at me.

I stood up and he leant in to kiss me, but I pushed him back. "Don't Frank."
He looked at me, eyes wide with confusion and hurt. I felt like such an asshole for what I was about to say.

"We can't do this," I said softly. "I can't be with you. You're with Mikey and I just don't want to hurt him."

"I want to be with you," he said, his face falling. "Not Mikey."

I just sighed and led him over to my door. "I can't."

"So that's it?" he asked, hurt in his eyes. "You're just...you're just gonna suck me off and then tell me you don't want anything to do with me?....I may have slept around before...but I was actually willing to stop if you'd just be with me. A-and now you've made me feel so cheap."

Tears began to pour down his face and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close as he cried into my shoulder.

"I-I thought this meant that we were going to be together," he bawled. "I thought you'd make everything ok, a-and be my boyfriend."

"Sugar, I'm sorry." I held back my tears as I ran my fingers through Frank's hair.

"Don't call me that," he hissed. He gripped onto the sleeves of my jacket and I felt his nails dig into my skin. "You don't care about me....You just thought I'd be your sex toy."

"I like you," I whispered.

"Well, you obviously don't like me enough to go out with me!" he spat. "You're ashamed of me, aren't you? You wouldn't want people to know that you're dating a whore."

"Under different circumstances, I would date you Frank," I sighed. "But you're with Mikey...and even if you weren't anymore...it'd break him if he knew we were going out."

"Yeah." He sniffed and rested his head against mine. "You're right."

"We weren't meant to happen, Frank," I said sadly.