He's a Bitch

Frank POV

Gerard led me back over to the bed and sat me down, still hugging me tight. I sniffed and buried my face in his chest, willing myself not to cry anymore. I wished that I'd met Gerard before I'd met Mikey...then maybe things would have happened differently.

Pft, yeah right, I thought. You'd have probably treated Gerard like shit just like you treat Mikey.

Gerard pulled a few tissues out of a tissue box next to his bed and handed them to me. I took them gratefully and wiped at my eyes.

"I'm no good for you," he said softly. "I mean, look at Bert. He used to be a nice guy before I dated him."

"I don't believe you," I said sniffing. And I didn't. The amount of time Bert spent slagging off other people (mainly Gerard) was just ludicrous. And he bitched about his friends as well....constantly telling me what a stupid cuntface Jepha was...and yes, he used those exact words.

Gerard just rubbed at my back and didn't reply. But I heard him sniffle and I looked up to see silent tears running down his face. I handed him one of the tissues I hadn't used and he gave me a brief smile.

"Thank you," he whispered.

He wiped his eyes and I leant against his chest, just listening to his steady heart beat. I wanted to stay like this forever. I'd only just realised recently, but I felt safest and most calm when I was around Gerard. You'd think it'd be the opposite given our history with each other but for some reason he made me feel safe.

"You'd better go Frank," Gerard whispered. "Mikey will probably be back soon...."

I nodded, understanding what he was getting at, and wiped at my eyes once more. Gerard released me from the hug and fumbled on his bedside table for something. He turned back around and handed me a small hand mirror and some concealer.

"Just around your eyes," he muttered. "...kinda red."

"I've got concealer." I took the mirror from him and dug in my jeans pocket for the concealer the nurse had given me. "Thanks anyway."

"Here." Gerard took the mirror from me again and held it so I could see my face. I unscrewed the lid of the concealer and used the applicator to smooth it on underneath my eyes where the skin was slightly red and puffy.

"Well, look who's a pretty boy," Gerard laughed.

I smiled at him, rolling my eyes and finished applying the concealer. "Yes, I am a pretty boy," I replied, smirking. "I'm a very pretty boy, biatch."

He laughed and reached up a hand to brush my fringe out of my eyes.

"I'm gonna miss you, you know," he commented.

"Same." I felt tears pricking my eyes once more and fought to compose myself. Don't start crying again, Frank.

"Hey...hey, shhh," he said soothingly. He pulled me close and hugged me again. "Don't cry, Frank. I'm sure if you and Mikey ever end things for good...I'm sure you'll find someone who's just as messed up as me that you'll like."

"Ha." I sniffed and a sarcastic laugh left my throat.

Gerard pulled back to look at me; his face crinkled in concentration as he reached out a hand and smoothed down my hair.

"God, like sex hair won't tell Mikey exactly what happened," he said, sighing sarcastically. "I feel like such a hypocrite."

He rubbed at his face, sighing in frustration, a look of confusion on his face. He looked up at me glumly and stood up, offering his hand to me. I took it, knowing that this was probably the last time we'd ever be this close to one another ever again, let alone holding hands. I walked in front of him, leading him over to the door.

Gerard let his hand slide out of mine, pushed me out the door and walked with me down the hallway and down the stairs. Such a gentleman, really.

I froze as we came to the foot of the stairs...oh fuck.

Mikey was sitting on the couch in the lounge room. Gerard and I just stood frozen to the spot, afraid the move as Mikey sat there, one leg crossed over the other, a confused look plastered over his face.

A few moments later, he looked up and noticed us. His expression changed a little; he still looked confused, but he also looked slightly scared as he saw the two of us standing there together. I can't really blame him though...last thing he knew, me and Gerard hated each other.

Fuck...how long had he been sitting there for?I really hope he hadn't heard...anything.

Gerard cleared his throat and when he spoke, his voice was slightly higher in pitch then was normal for him. "Hey Mikey."

"Hey Gee," he replied. "You feeling ok today?"

I let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't heard anything, thank god.

"Yeah...I'm ok."

"I-I never got a chance to tell you Gee, but...Frank and I are back together," Mikey said, biting his lip anxiously.

"I know....Frank told me," Gerard responded rigidly.

"And you're ok with that?"

"No."

"Well, you're just going to have to accept it," Mikey replied, harshly.

He got up and came up to me, kissing me hard and slinging his arms around my waist. God, why? Why? Why right now in front of Gerard? I didn't kiss back, just kinda stood still waiting for the kiss to end. I saw Gerard look away out of the corner of my eye, saw the tears threatening to fall. Fuck, I can't win with this. If I'm with Gerard, I hurt Mikey. If I'm with Mikey, I hurt Gerard.

Gerard turned and went back up the stairs without a word, and I heard his bedroom door slam. Mikey looked after him but then turned his attention back to me, his expression concerned.

"Are you ok?" Mikey asked quickly. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Gerard, hurt me? He just gave me the most incredible blow job ever. Just thinking about it aroused me....oh shit, Frank...concentrate. Stop thinking about Gerard. Fuck, I didn't answer Mikey's question.

"No, I'm fine," I said hurriedly.

"Why are you covered in beer then?" he asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow at me.

Wow, I'd almost forgotten about that. Don't know how....I reeked of alcohol.

"Oh well, he did throw a beer at me...but I think he was just joking around."

Mikey nodded, satisfied with my answer...but then he just bombarded me with more questions. "Why did you come over here? I was waiting at your house for you to get there."

"I-I came straight here because...I wanted to see you." I slapped myself mentally. I'm such a bastard. "The door was open so I just came in and went up to your room...but Gerard told me that you weren't here and suggested that I wait in the lounge room."

"He's being...nice?" Mikey asked, puzzled.

"Yeah...I guess he feels bad about putting me in that coma."

"Yeah, I guess...you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

"I'm taking you on a date remember?"

I swallowed and wondered what to do. Do I break up with him now, wait to break it off with him for a while or just pretend that I loved him and forget about Gerard?

Mikey took my hand in his and went to kiss me again, but I pushed him back.

"What's wrong, babe?" he asked, rubbing at my back.

I bit my lip. I can't burst his bubble right now...he was so happy. I smiled to myself slightly. I was actually caring about Mikey's feelings. I'd never really cared about his feelings before. All that time I spent with Gerard must have changed me.

"Nothing," I muttered, feeling bad for lying to him.

"Ok...well, let's go then."

I nodded and he slipped an arm around my waist as we headed towards the front door.

Wait a minute, I'm missing something. I felt around in my pocket and realized that I'd left my mobile up in Gerard's room. It must have fallen out.

"Mikey, I think I dropped my phone in your room," I told him. "I'll just go get it."

"I can get it for you," Mikey offered. "I mean, Gerard's up there...."

My point exactly.

"No, that's ok."

I gave Mikey a forced smile and headed back up the stairs, quietly opening the door to Gerard's room. He was lying curled up on his bed, his back to me and by the looks of things, he was crying. I sighed. It was my fault he was crying. I walked slowly over to his bed and clambered on behind him, hugging him gently around the waist and kissing him on the back of his neck. He sniffed and rolled over to face me; his eyes were glassy, tears flowing down his face. I gave him a brief kiss on the lips and he kissed back, tears still pouring.

"I left my phone in here," I whispered as we broke apart.

Gerard nodded and I climbed off the bed. I located my phone on the floor and turned to leave, but Gerard gripped hold of my sleeve. He turned me to face him and he kissed me long and hard. This seemed to be a good bye kiss; a kiss you would give someone if you wouldn't be seeing them ever again. I felt tears come to my eyes and we continued kissing as we both cried. So much emotion was shared during that kiss.

When we pulled away, I rested my forehead against Gerard's, sniffing back more tears.

I turned to leave again....Gerard didn't want to let me go. He held me tight to him and it took all of my willpower just to move away from him. I didn't want to leave.

"I'll never forget this," I whispered. "I won't forget you. You've been...you've just been so nice to me. I appreciate it so much. You made me a new and better person and I know that one day you'll find someone who's just as amazing as you that you can...that you can be with."

He nodded, silent tears dropping from his face and onto the floor. I tried hard not to cry; I wanted so bad for that someone to be me.

Oh shit, I almost forgot. I fumbled in my pocket and withdrew his camera, holding it out to him. He pushed my hand gently away from him.

"Keep it," he said quietly.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah...so you still have things to look at when I'm not there," he mumbled.

I tried to smile but failed. I re-pocketed the camera and turned to leave for the third and final time. I wanted Gerard to pull me back into his arms, tell me I was his and no one else's. I wanted him to fight for me, wanted him to tell me that he wouldn't let anyone get in the way, not even his brother, but he just let me go. He closed his bedroom door as I stepped out and I wandered down the hallway and the stairs.

Mikey looked up at me from beside the front door, his face filled with concern as he saw my teary eyes.

"Babe, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

He came up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I let him; there was no future for me and Gerard. Gerard had made that pretty clear. I sighed and rested my head on Mikey's shoulder.

"I twisted my ankle on the stairs...I'm fine," I lied quickly.

"You want me to kiss it better for you?" Mikey asked, a smile in his words.

I just shook my head and leant further into his arms.