He's a Bitch

Frank POV

A month and three days later and I’m still pining after Gerard like some lovesick teen. I actually found his blog and added it to my favourites so I could check it regularly to see if he’d posted anything. But it’s been silent. My love life, to put it plainly, sucks. I don’t even really consider what I have with Mikey a relationship anymore, because we’re just so out of tune. He really doesn’t know me well at all. Of course he knows my favourite bands, my favourite colours and all of that shit…but he doesn’t know anything about my home life or my emotions. As usual, I still see Gerard around school. Whenever we encounter each other, I either ignore him or stare him down…just so he knows that I’m still pissed at him. At least he has the decency to look ashamed.

“Babe, whatcha thinking bout?”

Mikey nudged me with his elbow and I turned to face him. We were both lying on his bed, me deep in thought about how someone as drop dead sexy as Gerard could be so evil. I had wondered for a while if he’d been playing hard to get or something, but then I decided that it didn’t sound like him. I’m pretty sure he’s the type of guy who just goes for what he wants.

I rolled over to face Mikey and forced a smile onto my face.

“Just thinking about me and you,” I lied.

Mikey smiled and leant closer to me, pressing his lips softly to mine. I kissed back, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling his body to mine. This felt wrong but I was getting turned on all the same. Mikey gently slipped his tongue into my mouth and I greeted it with mine, letting our tongues move as one as our kiss intensified.

My hands trailed up the back of Mikey’s shirt and I pulled it off over his head, throwing it across the room. Before he could do the same to me, the door swung open and we broke apart to see a wide-eyed Gerard standing there. I immediately let go of Mikey, feeling embarrassed. Why’d he have to walk in at that moment?

“Um, sorry,” Gerard muttered, not looking at us. “I was just wondering if I could have that Queen album back that you borrowed from me.”

Mikey nodded, no words at all and clambered off the bed. He went over to his desk which was a mess of homework papers and textbooks, and retrieved the album, quickly walking over to Gerard and shoving it into his hand.

“Thanks,” Gerard mumbled, trying to smile.

And he left, making sure to close the door behind him. Mikey turned back to me, expression apologetic, and came back over to the bed and lay down next to me.

“Sorry about that,” he muttered.

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. “That’s ok.”

“Gerard hasn’t really grasped the concept of knocking yet,” Mikey said with a small laugh.

I let out a laugh and Mikey moved closer to me, obviously keen on picking up where we left off. His lips attached to mine again and I wrapped my arms around him, rubbing up and down his bare back. Soon enough, we’d stripped each other of our clothes, leaving us in just our boxers as we kissed.

I was a bit puzzled when Mikey pulled away from the kiss and climbed off the bed.

“Lube,” he explained and left the room the go fetch it from the bathroom or wherever he’d left it.

While he was gone, my thoughts immediately went back to Gerard. He fucking frustrated me, but I felt a longing for him anyway. I wanted to be with him and I wouldn’t give up until that happened. I got a sudden idea as I spied Mikey’s phone peeking out of one of the pockets of his jeans which were on the floor. Straining my ears, I made sure that Mikey wasn’t coming back anytime soon, and I slid off the bed and grabbed his phone out of his jeans pocket.

I quickly looked through Mikey’s contacts and found Gerard’s mobile number, scribbling it down on a scrap of paper which I’d snatched off Mikey’s desk. When I was done I stuffed Mikey’s phone back in the pocket of his jeans and hid the scrap of paper in my bag. Lucky I did, because a split second after I’d laid back down on the bed, Mikey emerged from the hallway and came back into the room. He leant against the doorway in just his boxers, a smile on his face and the lube in his hand. Well, it didn’t take a genius to work out what we were about to do...it was kind of obvious.

He climbed onto the bed beside me and began kissing my neck; I moaned, enjoying it but not really. I just wished I was with Gerard right now. Flashes of Gerard’s black hair and his hazel eyes crossed my mind as I kissed Mikey’s lips. I clambered on top of him, stroking his sides with my hands. What I was doing was wrong. I was pretending to love him when I didn’t. In retrospect, I was using him. But I just couldn’t break it off with him; the look in his eyes would be too much for me. I felt ashamed. I’m just selfish.

Mikey moaned happily as I slid his boxers off him; I threw them on the floor and continued to kiss him harder by the second. I felt Mikey pull down my boxers and I sat up, straddling him and scanning the top of his bedside table, where Mikey had placed the lube. I should just stop this now...but Mikey would want to know why. Could I really tell him I had feelings for his brother?

I tried to forget the guilt as I located the lube and grabbed it off the bedside table. Frank, just stop this now. Break up with him. Go tell Gerard that you want to be with him....If only it were so easy. I tried to smile as I coated my length in lube. Mikey looked so happy....shouldn’t I be happy that I’m making someone else happy? But the truth was...I wasn’t happy. I re-lidded the lube and dropped it off the side of the bed. Mikey smiled warmly at me and I sighed inwardly. Here it goes.

Mikey let out a long moan as I pushed gently into him. His face was twisted slightly in pain and a few tears trickled down his face, but he nodded for me to continue. I continued to thrust in him, but in my mind I wasn’t really paying attention to him. I could feel the pleasure, sure, but my mind was focused on one other person...Gerard. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have him in me.

I noticed Mikey arching his back and took that as my cue to thrust faster, which I did. His breathing became more unsteady, as did mine and I let out a low moan.

“Fuck yeah,” he panted, pulling me down for a kiss.

I closed my eyes as we kissed hungrily, Gerard’s face etched into my mind. For a brief moment I let myself believe I was with Gerard and I reached my hands up to run them through Gerard’s long black hair, imagining it to be messy, sweaty, unkempt. But what I got instead was Mikey’s short, neat, mousey brown hair and I sighed slightly, the illusion destroyed. I just continued with what I was doing; continued to please Mikey, and eventually I heard him whisper shakily in my ear, “I’m almost there.”

I nodded. “Me too,” I panted.

In a matter of seconds Mikey came over our stomachs and a moment later, I came inside him. This was wrong. I sighed and pulled out of him, my body sweaty and weak as I rolled off him. Mikey wrapped his arms around me from behind and I curled backwards into his chest. I willed myself to go to sleep and I closed my eyes, trying to regain my breath. He leant over, his lips close to my ear and whispered, “I love you.”

I just stayed still and didn’t respond. How could I respond? “I love you too?”: that would be a lie. “I don’t?”: that would be plain mean considering we’d just had sex. So I didn’t say anything, hoping he’d think I’d fallen asleep. And he must have because he snuggled into the pillow and didn’t say another word.