I Don't Know If That Made Sense, It's Kind Of A Complex
Another Day In The Life Of Me...
"It's Finally The Half Term!!!!" I screamed as I ran out the school's front gates, whilst doing my very famous 'Happy Dance' and getting some very bitchy looks off some other random girls walking past. They stopped in front of me and gave me the look I usually get, the What-The-Feck-Are-You-Doing-You-Weird-Emo look "What? It’s the half term aren't I aloud to be happy?" I asked them rhetorically; again they just stood there and stared at me. Oh well another day another load of bitchy looks, hurtful comments and a few punches here and there. Oh well that's just my life I guess.
"Fai!" I heard a very familiar voice call me name from behind me, I turned around to see Lucetta behind me, just pushing her way through the large doors and stepping out into the bright sunlight. I smiled and ran over to her, and probably looking like a right spaz in the process.
"Luce my love!" I exclaimed happily and wrapped my arm's around her giving her a tight hug, careful not to mess her hair, since she was very, well careful over her hair. I don't usually give people hugs but I was in very good mood so why not? You see Luce was one of my best friends, I knew her the shortest of all of them but we're very close. She was also probably one of the prettiest of us, long black hair, and that annoyed me since her hair was naturally black. Ice blue eyes and a perfect smile. She was very pretty and with a personality to match really. I'm surprised she hasn't got a boy friend at the moment, but that's her business not mine.
"Fai my bitch!" She yelled into my ear "It’s the half term!" she added pulling away from our tight friendly hug.
“Which only means one great thing doesn't it my Friend!" I said smiling so much it actually hurt my cheeks, I began jumping up and down rather quickly and clapping my hand together at the same time, Luce joined in after a few times of me acting like a spaz on my own.
“The single most great thing in our small insignificant lives" she said slowing down slightly, I slowed down as well.
"INDIGO!!" We both screamed at the top of our lungs. We joined both our hands together and proceed to jump up and down like two lunatics on drugs, and giggling insanely.
"Oh God, who gave them skittles?" A voice said from behind us, we both stopped dead in our tracks, and turned around to see who it was and of course it was no-one other than Hope, Sky, Vi and Rox all walking out from school trying to get their bags onto their shoulders without falling over, since all our bags probably weighted about the same as 7 bricks it was a little difficult to get your bags on, but then again you soon get used to it.
"You can't talk Hope; you’re just as excited about Indigo as we are." I stated matter of faculty.
"Yes but I hide mine much better than you guys" she said walking over to us, standing between us and putting her arms over our shoulder's, Sky, Vi and Rox joined in and we all walked down the road arms over each others shoulder's. So these are my loser friends. The best friends I have ever come across. They rule. I love them and have no idea what I'd do with out them. They are, along with music, the most important and greatest thing in my life.
"Oh well, it’s not our fault we just love getting all hyper and wear some great clothes and great make-up and listen to great music and, and, and, and Mosh!" I said quickly and in a very hyper tone.
“So you know how you’re getting down there then?" Vi asked out of curiosity.
"Not really, but I think my dad's dropping me off or something, might meet Justine since you guys are getting the good space's and kindly letting me bunk in with you" I said smiling innocently.
"Yeah you’re lucky to have friends like us aren't you" Sky said sarcastically.
"Why yes, yes I am," I said proudly. "But we are still meeting at Indigo right - 'cause I can't get there before seven, so we are still saving places aren't we?" I asked, just making sure we all had the same idea.
"Yep!" They all said in unison. We all started skipping down the road, with linked arms until we have to go our separate ways to go home.
"Oh yeah Fai!" Hope called as I started to walk down the road leading to my road, I turned around to face her and saw her running towards me "I'm bringing some friends along, she's really cool, you'd like her, her names Ellie but call her Lellie and she's just like us, she's really cool and she might bring a few friends along so I just thought I'd tell you" She said rather happily, The others looked pretty happy about it as well, I nodded and went to walk back down my road "Oh and Rox said her mate is going with a few of her friends and boyfriend and we have to look out for them or something" She said once again I nodded and smiled.
"Yeah that's cool, I'll talk to you later guys later on MSN or something" I said walking back down my road and waving them off behind me.
"Byeeeeee FAI!" They all shouted as I walked down the road.
I felt really happy and hyper a few minutes ago, and now I feel really low and sad, what the hell is wrong with me? Talk about being bi polar. Oh well these things happen. After a while of walking down these familiar roads I came to my home, it’s not much and isn't exactly pretty but its somewhere to live I guess. I pushed my key into the lock and opened the door, I walked in and the house was silent, Mum’s probably out at work or something and Connor, well I don't want to know what that kid is doing, probably painting the living room with his little kiddie paint sets, Oh well its not my problem. Never has been never will be so why bother worrying about it now? I walked through the hallway and through to the dining room, dropped my bag on one of the chairs and turned to go into the kitchen.
"FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIII" Connor screamed from upstairs, I glared at the ceiling and walked to the bottom of the stairs.
"What?" I yelled up the stairs at him, feeling slightly inpatient since all I wanted to do was get something to eat, change my clothes and talk to some people on MSN and some more random stuff that I don't know what it is yet.
"Just wanted to make sure it was youuuuu" he said holding onto the end of 'you'. I rolled my eyes, walked away from the stairs and went back to finding something to eat. After a few minutes of looking through all the cupboards and the fridge I decided that we had nothing in the house and just went to go get changed. I ran past my bag and stopped and thought for a second whether I needed my bag or not 'I don't think I have any homework...' I thought to myself 'mehh if I have it can wait till the end of the holiday' I thought again to myself and proceed to run up the stairs to my room. My rooms the typical room for a 15 year old emo girl really, Its bright pink with black skulls, stars and hearts all over and some other little things all over, like the bright pink stars over the black curtains and some other little things to make this room my own. As well as one of my walls being completely covered in all of my hero's, my musical hero's that is, the whole wall is covered top to bottom, left to right covered completely. I grabbed my pink and black stripy My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade t-shirt and black drain pipe jeans and quickly got changed and turned on my computer. This is my typical day. I do this everyday after school. Same thing everyday, no change, nothing new, just my same old life, predictable as ever but at least I don't have too much drama in my life. My life's pretty simple really. I have a mum and a dad, and a 7 year old brother. My mum dislikes me and says when I turn sixteen, which isn't very far away, I have to move out. My dad and I are different, he's like me, we like the same music and clothes and he's pretty cool really although I'd never admit that to his face. We get along pretty well he understands what I go through and tried to help me out when I need him. He's the best dad I could ask for really. We fight occasionally but that's understandable, I mean were only human. Me and Connor fight like mad though, I mean he's about seven and I'm fifteen almost sixteen, a slight age gap. But I guess that's just my family, it's slightly, wait correction, VERY messed up but that's how it’s always been I can’t imagine it any other way really. After a while my computer finally decided to log in properly and everything finally working. I signed into MSN and carried on with my usual way of doing things, Talk to my friends, go on some websites, listen to music and at some point go find food and the do the same and then at like 3am finally go to bed. The beauty of having a computer in your own room, no-one knows when you’re still on the computer.
After some time of just sitting at my computer listening to music and singing along, Vi Signed into MSN.
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: Hey Vi!
‘Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: Hey Fai!
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: How are you?
‘Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: Great Thanks, hyper about Thursday ha I cant wait for Indigo, you don't mind about us lot meeting our other friends do you??
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: No why would I?
I told her, but to be honest I wasn't sure if I was, I don't know why I just wasn't sure, I guess I sort of feel replaced.
‘Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: You didn't seem too happy about it earlier when I told you, you sure it's okay?
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: I said I was didn't I??
'Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: Sorry, I was just making sure no need to bite off my head Fai, god calm down.
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: I didn't bite your head off I just said I was fine with it no need to keep bloody asking.
Okay that did sound bitchy, Now she'll tell they others I'm in a pissed off mood, they wont talk to me until Thursday which is six days away. Oh great what a way to start off the holidays Fai, get bitchy towards a best friend and then fuck up your holiday, real smooth move.
‘Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: Oh My God Fai! Stop being so high up yourself. You’re so fucking moody. God you’re so Bi-polar, seriously one moment your happy next you’re all sad and depressed I mean make up your mind. And stop biting off all our heads off. Me and Sky have thought you been all weird over the past few months.
I kept reading the last message over and over again. I didn't want to believe her. But it was all true. Vi's right about everything. My mum’s right about everything she says to me. I am useless. I am worth nothing. I never do anything right. I fuck everything up. Everything do always goes wrong. What’s the point of living anymore? I never fix anything. It all just gets worse and worse. Everything bad happens is my fault. What’s the point in going out anymore, no-one notices me if I am there or not, what’s the point in me even going to Indigo. Vi's made it obvious she doesn't want me there. No-one will miss me if I don't go.
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: okay Vi have things your way. I'm just going to stay out of your way from now until further notice. And don't expect me to go to Indigo. I might I might now. Depending if I feel whether there's a point or not. You win again Vi. Now I'm going to go so Bye.
And with that last message I signed out. I'm not going to out this week. Not until Thursday. I'm going to go to Indigo just to spite her now. If I feel like I want to die I'm still going to go. If I feel like that I'll probably just sit at the side and watch really. I might dance, I might not. It all depends. God I'm so fucked up. Why do I have to fuck everything up so badly all the time?
"Fai!" I heard a very familiar voice call me name from behind me, I turned around to see Lucetta behind me, just pushing her way through the large doors and stepping out into the bright sunlight. I smiled and ran over to her, and probably looking like a right spaz in the process.
"Luce my love!" I exclaimed happily and wrapped my arm's around her giving her a tight hug, careful not to mess her hair, since she was very, well careful over her hair. I don't usually give people hugs but I was in very good mood so why not? You see Luce was one of my best friends, I knew her the shortest of all of them but we're very close. She was also probably one of the prettiest of us, long black hair, and that annoyed me since her hair was naturally black. Ice blue eyes and a perfect smile. She was very pretty and with a personality to match really. I'm surprised she hasn't got a boy friend at the moment, but that's her business not mine.
"Fai my bitch!" She yelled into my ear "It’s the half term!" she added pulling away from our tight friendly hug.
“Which only means one great thing doesn't it my Friend!" I said smiling so much it actually hurt my cheeks, I began jumping up and down rather quickly and clapping my hand together at the same time, Luce joined in after a few times of me acting like a spaz on my own.
“The single most great thing in our small insignificant lives" she said slowing down slightly, I slowed down as well.
"INDIGO!!" We both screamed at the top of our lungs. We joined both our hands together and proceed to jump up and down like two lunatics on drugs, and giggling insanely.
"Oh God, who gave them skittles?" A voice said from behind us, we both stopped dead in our tracks, and turned around to see who it was and of course it was no-one other than Hope, Sky, Vi and Rox all walking out from school trying to get their bags onto their shoulders without falling over, since all our bags probably weighted about the same as 7 bricks it was a little difficult to get your bags on, but then again you soon get used to it.
"You can't talk Hope; you’re just as excited about Indigo as we are." I stated matter of faculty.
"Yes but I hide mine much better than you guys" she said walking over to us, standing between us and putting her arms over our shoulder's, Sky, Vi and Rox joined in and we all walked down the road arms over each others shoulder's. So these are my loser friends. The best friends I have ever come across. They rule. I love them and have no idea what I'd do with out them. They are, along with music, the most important and greatest thing in my life.
"Oh well, it’s not our fault we just love getting all hyper and wear some great clothes and great make-up and listen to great music and, and, and, and Mosh!" I said quickly and in a very hyper tone.
“So you know how you’re getting down there then?" Vi asked out of curiosity.
"Not really, but I think my dad's dropping me off or something, might meet Justine since you guys are getting the good space's and kindly letting me bunk in with you" I said smiling innocently.
"Yeah you’re lucky to have friends like us aren't you" Sky said sarcastically.
"Why yes, yes I am," I said proudly. "But we are still meeting at Indigo right - 'cause I can't get there before seven, so we are still saving places aren't we?" I asked, just making sure we all had the same idea.
"Yep!" They all said in unison. We all started skipping down the road, with linked arms until we have to go our separate ways to go home.
"Oh yeah Fai!" Hope called as I started to walk down the road leading to my road, I turned around to face her and saw her running towards me "I'm bringing some friends along, she's really cool, you'd like her, her names Ellie but call her Lellie and she's just like us, she's really cool and she might bring a few friends along so I just thought I'd tell you" She said rather happily, The others looked pretty happy about it as well, I nodded and went to walk back down my road "Oh and Rox said her mate is going with a few of her friends and boyfriend and we have to look out for them or something" She said once again I nodded and smiled.
"Yeah that's cool, I'll talk to you later guys later on MSN or something" I said walking back down my road and waving them off behind me.
"Byeeeeee FAI!" They all shouted as I walked down the road.
I felt really happy and hyper a few minutes ago, and now I feel really low and sad, what the hell is wrong with me? Talk about being bi polar. Oh well these things happen. After a while of walking down these familiar roads I came to my home, it’s not much and isn't exactly pretty but its somewhere to live I guess. I pushed my key into the lock and opened the door, I walked in and the house was silent, Mum’s probably out at work or something and Connor, well I don't want to know what that kid is doing, probably painting the living room with his little kiddie paint sets, Oh well its not my problem. Never has been never will be so why bother worrying about it now? I walked through the hallway and through to the dining room, dropped my bag on one of the chairs and turned to go into the kitchen.
"FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIII" Connor screamed from upstairs, I glared at the ceiling and walked to the bottom of the stairs.
"What?" I yelled up the stairs at him, feeling slightly inpatient since all I wanted to do was get something to eat, change my clothes and talk to some people on MSN and some more random stuff that I don't know what it is yet.
"Just wanted to make sure it was youuuuu" he said holding onto the end of 'you'. I rolled my eyes, walked away from the stairs and went back to finding something to eat. After a few minutes of looking through all the cupboards and the fridge I decided that we had nothing in the house and just went to go get changed. I ran past my bag and stopped and thought for a second whether I needed my bag or not 'I don't think I have any homework...' I thought to myself 'mehh if I have it can wait till the end of the holiday' I thought again to myself and proceed to run up the stairs to my room. My rooms the typical room for a 15 year old emo girl really, Its bright pink with black skulls, stars and hearts all over and some other little things all over, like the bright pink stars over the black curtains and some other little things to make this room my own. As well as one of my walls being completely covered in all of my hero's, my musical hero's that is, the whole wall is covered top to bottom, left to right covered completely. I grabbed my pink and black stripy My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade t-shirt and black drain pipe jeans and quickly got changed and turned on my computer. This is my typical day. I do this everyday after school. Same thing everyday, no change, nothing new, just my same old life, predictable as ever but at least I don't have too much drama in my life. My life's pretty simple really. I have a mum and a dad, and a 7 year old brother. My mum dislikes me and says when I turn sixteen, which isn't very far away, I have to move out. My dad and I are different, he's like me, we like the same music and clothes and he's pretty cool really although I'd never admit that to his face. We get along pretty well he understands what I go through and tried to help me out when I need him. He's the best dad I could ask for really. We fight occasionally but that's understandable, I mean were only human. Me and Connor fight like mad though, I mean he's about seven and I'm fifteen almost sixteen, a slight age gap. But I guess that's just my family, it's slightly, wait correction, VERY messed up but that's how it’s always been I can’t imagine it any other way really. After a while my computer finally decided to log in properly and everything finally working. I signed into MSN and carried on with my usual way of doing things, Talk to my friends, go on some websites, listen to music and at some point go find food and the do the same and then at like 3am finally go to bed. The beauty of having a computer in your own room, no-one knows when you’re still on the computer.
After some time of just sitting at my computer listening to music and singing along, Vi Signed into MSN.
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: Hey Vi!
‘Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: Hey Fai!
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: How are you?
‘Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: Great Thanks, hyper about Thursday ha I cant wait for Indigo, you don't mind about us lot meeting our other friends do you??
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: No why would I?
I told her, but to be honest I wasn't sure if I was, I don't know why I just wasn't sure, I guess I sort of feel replaced.
‘Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: You didn't seem too happy about it earlier when I told you, you sure it's okay?
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: I said I was didn't I??
'Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: Sorry, I was just making sure no need to bite off my head Fai, god calm down.
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: I didn't bite your head off I just said I was fine with it no need to keep bloody asking.
Okay that did sound bitchy, Now she'll tell they others I'm in a pissed off mood, they wont talk to me until Thursday which is six days away. Oh great what a way to start off the holidays Fai, get bitchy towards a best friend and then fuck up your holiday, real smooth move.
‘Cause I'm Just The Prettiest Wreck You Ever Saw says:: Oh My God Fai! Stop being so high up yourself. You’re so fucking moody. God you’re so Bi-polar, seriously one moment your happy next you’re all sad and depressed I mean make up your mind. And stop biting off all our heads off. Me and Sky have thought you been all weird over the past few months.
I kept reading the last message over and over again. I didn't want to believe her. But it was all true. Vi's right about everything. My mum’s right about everything she says to me. I am useless. I am worth nothing. I never do anything right. I fuck everything up. Everything do always goes wrong. What’s the point of living anymore? I never fix anything. It all just gets worse and worse. Everything bad happens is my fault. What’s the point in going out anymore, no-one notices me if I am there or not, what’s the point in me even going to Indigo. Vi's made it obvious she doesn't want me there. No-one will miss me if I don't go.
I Guess I'm Destined To Be Alone...Forever says:: okay Vi have things your way. I'm just going to stay out of your way from now until further notice. And don't expect me to go to Indigo. I might I might now. Depending if I feel whether there's a point or not. You win again Vi. Now I'm going to go so Bye.
And with that last message I signed out. I'm not going to out this week. Not until Thursday. I'm going to go to Indigo just to spite her now. If I feel like I want to die I'm still going to go. If I feel like that I'll probably just sit at the side and watch really. I might dance, I might not. It all depends. God I'm so fucked up. Why do I have to fuck everything up so badly all the time?