Jawbreaker

It had been two weeks since the fight with Justin had blown over. I secretly hated myself for pathetically going back to the pointless relationship I kept with him. I realized how much of a coward I was for not wanting to be alone, even if it meant being with someone like Justin, but I just couldn’t help it.

As much as I pretended that I was alright, I knew, I knew that I wasn’t.

So I kept quiet and stayed exactly where I had been for the past three years.

Nowhere.



This year Drama Club had decided on doing a Blackbox show for the winter. Typically, a Blackbox show was a played down version of a actual fall show or spring show, with less finances to support it, and was typically directed by a student. The Blackbox show was held in the Blackbox room, practically the size of a classroom, only a tiny bit bigger, and was usually free. Or at most, two to three dollars for admissions. We normally only ran the show twice and it was always short.

And this year, Natalia decided that she wanted to direct a Blackbox show. Of course, no one would step in her way because of the fear that most held for her, so when she went to our Drama Club instructor, Mrs. Nelson, she naturally received the permission to do so.

In fact, she even went as far as to writing her own play.

It was basically a modernized version of Cinderella. Nothing that hadn’t been done before. The only twist was Cinderella was an assassin of some sort. I thought it was absurd the moment Natalia had relayed all of the bits and pieces of the plot to me. But I knew better than to tell her that. So instead, I asked if I could do costuming, knowing that she would appoint me as costumer anyways, and went about my way as she roamed down the hallways carrying the copies of her script in her arms.

I sat at our normal lunch table, chewing on a celery stick as Natalia came rushing over, setting all the copies of her script on the table. She pulled out a chair and sat down, opening up her brown bag and beginning to eat her lunch. Bridget raised her eyes at the paperwork sitting in front of her and said, “Whoa, Nat. Did you kill an entire tree to Xerox that?”

Natalia waved her hand at Bridget before saying, “Har, har, I only used up what was in the teacher’s lounge. I made enough copies for the nine parts in the show. I thought, I might as well make all the copies so I can give it to them after I pick who’s in the show.”

“Aren’t you going to hold auditions?” I asked her, throwing my celery stick onto my lunch tray. I didn’t even know why I bothered with vegetables.

She shook her head. “I already have the perfect cast in mind. Of course I’m casting that Billie girl as Cinderella. She’s the best girl part out of all of them. And she’s the most attractive one, to be honest.”

I rolled my eyes at her shallowness.

“And I was thinking of making that Folds kid the Prince Charming.”

I bit hard into a carrot stick and made a painful noise. Everyone at the table shot a look at me as I quickly touched my tooth with a finger. “Almost lost a tooth,” I said, laughing nervously.

Bridget gave me a strange look before texting someone on her Blackberry.

Natalia continued with her whole conversation though, as if I hadn’t just chipped a tooth on a carrot stick. “I know he’s never tried out for a show, and that I’m not even sure if he knows how to act, but he’s got character. Like, the kid has the kind of energy that I’m looking for in my Prince Charming--”

“Really, Nat? I never pegged you for liking the losers,” joked Turner.

She shot him a dirty look and he chuckled as he turned back to his lunch.

“Anyways, as I was saying,” continued Natalia, “I think he’s exactly what I need for the part. Hey, Luce. You’ve been talking to him an awful lot lately. Ask him to take the role?”

I almost choked on my water as she said this.

Again, everyone turned to look at me. But this time, Bridget actually caught interest.

“Wait, what? Lucy, have you been talking to that weird Folds kid?”

I quickly shook my head. “No, no. Of course not. I mean, I…I can’t help it if the kid bothers me all the time! I don’t know why, but out of nowhere, he’s been talking to me and annoying me. So…maybe that’s how you got it confused. I’m definitely, in no way, ever talking to him intentionally.”

Bridget just gave me a long look before saying, “Alright,” and texting away at her phone.

“Well, I don’t care if the kid’s stalking you, just talk to him. Okay?” said Natalia. “I’d do it myself, but I’m beginning to think that he doesn’t like me after the last show. Remember what he said to me at the end of the show? The nerve of that guy…”

I ignored the rest of what she had to say and turned back to my lunch.

It was like I couldn’t escape the horror that was Noah Folds.



I watched as Noah shut his locker and turned to walk down the hallway.

Towards me.

I waited patiently as he nodded at a couple of boys and showed off a grin to a girl. He showed off his teeth as he smiled, and I noticed just how boyish his features really did seem.

I gagged at the thought of Folds actually possessing a boyish charm.

He slowed down when he saw me in view and a smirk took over his whole face.

“What it do, Holden?” he asked as I fell into his walking pace.

“Nothing, Folds. I just have a simple request from someone.”

Noah stopped walking.

“Someone?” he asked. “Don’t tell me, Lucy…you have a crush?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Don‘t get a big head, Folds.”

He laughed at me.

“Alright,” I continued, “anonymous wants you to take the role in the Blackbox play this year.”

“I don’t do stage time,” he replied.

I looked at him. “Oh, at least give it a shot. You haven’t tried acting, how do you know ‘you don’t do stage time’?”

He laughed. “I just know, ‘kay Luce? Have a nice day.”

And with that, he left me and entered his classroom.

Leaving me outside, gawking after him.

I felt like such a failure after that.


After six cups of coffee and a packet of pop tarts, I managed to work up the nerve to talk to Noah again. Normally, I didn’t give much interest nor effort into a high school play, let alone a Blackbox play, but for some reason Natalia was riding my ass about this. She would not let go of the fact that Noah Folds simply did not want to act in her play.

I drove to school that morning, hoping that I would see Noah in the parking lot. I remembered from memory that he usually arrived to school with Billie Jean and just as I thought of that, the blue bug drove onto the school parking lot, parking a couple of spaces away from me. Noah was the first to get out of the car, and I watched as he stretched his arms over his head, yawning as he did so.

Billie Jean got out, walking over to where he was, handing him his backpack. He smiled at her, leaning over to give her a peck on the cheek. She pushed him away and started walking towards the school. I watched as he laughed, and leaned on her car, taking out a pack of cigarettes and sliding one out.

I took this as my chance to go talk to him.

“You know, smoking is bad for you,” I said, the moment I was within speaking distance to him.

He looked at me and gave me a cheeky grin before blowing a cloud of smoke into my face. I coughed, stepping backwards as I swatted the air in front of me.

He laughed. “Everything is bad for you.”

I watched as he took another drag.

There was something pleasantly appealing about watching a person smoke a cigarette. I wasn’t sure why, but I found it fascinating each time he let out a breath of smoke.

I shook my head. Smoking could lead to lung cancer.

“That’s a terrible way to view life,” I told him.

He raised a brow at me and pursed his lips around the cancer stick. He looked at me as if he wanted me to continue my statement.

I cleared my throat as I said, “Everything is bad for you. If I said that about everything in life, and did it anyway, I’d live a shorter life. A less fulfilling one. I’d rather live to my eighties or even nineties instead of ending it short because of a disgusting habit.”

He took another drag and let out a ring of smoke. I couldn’t help but be impressed by it as he said, “That’s not living. Being cautious and afraid of everything is not living. That’s only surviving.”

“We survive to live,” I said simply.

He smirked at me. “We survive because that’s in our nature. Living is a completely different concept. Don’t confuse the two.”

And with that, he took one final drag of his cigarette and flicked it onto the ground, blowing the last bit of smoke into my face.

I coughed again, frowning at him.

He walked past me, saying, “You should get rid of that smell, Luce. Smoking is a disgusting habit.”

I sent him a glare, realizing that all his clouds of smoke had left me smelling like a huge ashtray. I reached into my handbag to grab my bottle of body spray that I kept in handy. I sprayed myself all over, trying to mask the husky smell of smoke Noah had left on me and threw the bottle back into my bag.

I can’t stand that guy.