Jawbreaker

I ended up going to Jay’s party.

Originally I had planned on staying at home, watching Netflix or laying in my bed doing nothing, but I ended up at a house party on a Friday night, drinking warm beer and watching Justin do a keg stand with his friends. The obnoxious chanting made my slight buzz feel more like a headache than anything, and the pounding of the house music that was playing worsened everything.

I should’ve just stayed home. I didn’t even want to come to this stupid party.

“Yo, Noah! Get in here!”

I looked up from my red cup and saw Noah Folds move across the living room to a group of guys.

Oh yeah, that’s why I came here.

Billie Jean was on the other side of the room, talking to some girls that were also in drama club. She didn’t look out of place; in fact, she looked comfortable in this environment. I never noticed her until recently, but Billie Jean was somewhat like a unicorn in the high school social hierarchy. When you hear people looking back on their high school days, and they tell you how they were never labeled as anything because they fluttered from each social group to the next, you knew that they were lying and it was just a way of covering up the fact that they didn’t have a real set group of friends. However, Billie Jean was that social chameleon, who could adapt to any social setting or group of people. She had the ability and personality to get along with anyone and everyone. Of course, she didn’t have a set group of friends. Truth be told, the only friend I think Billie Jean actually had was Noah Folds.

This pushed me more to believe that they should’ve been dating.

I took a sip of the warm beer and watched as Billie Jean laughed at whatever the girl next to her said. She was a pretty girl, I told myself. Naturally pretty. Something that was hard to find in high school, what with all the girls that were discovering makeup for the first time and were going overboard with it. Billie Jean dressed conservatively, but with an edge. She wore sweaters and skirts with her bright, floral Doc Martens. Her honey colored hair was always worn in ringlets, and she’d wear occasionally pair it with a ribbon or headband. Her look definitely suited her name. Tonight she had her curls wrapped in a messy bun with a jeweled clip securing it. She wore a metallic, silver sweater with quarter sleeves, a black, Aztec printed skirt, black laced tights, and those bright Doc Martens. She wore minimal makeup except a bright, red lipstick. Billie Jean stood out in a different way. Most girls would be jealous of her because she did it effortlessly. However, I was more concerned about Noah and her.

And that was why I came to the party. The moment Noah slipped, saying that his night plans entailed Jay’s party, I went looking for Justin and took back my previous declination. It wasn’t like I was going to corner Noah into confessing his love for Billie Jean, but it was something like that. I mean, the only reason why he even knew about the party was probably because she told him about it.

“What’re you doing, Luce?”

I spun around and saw Justin making his way towards me. His eyes were bloodshot and he wore a dopey smile on his face. He must’ve smoked before he got here. We came separately, him with his boys, me with Bridget.

“Nothing,” I told him once he was close to me, snaking his arms around my waist, “I was just bored.”
His dopey smile turned into a mischievous smirk and he said, “I can fix that.”

I gave him a quick peck on the lips before he could do more and said, “I think I’m gonna go to the bathroom, actually,” and left him there in the kitchen.

I looked back at Billie Jean and then over to where Noah and his friends were to find that he wasn’t there anymore. Maybe he went to get some fresh air, I thought, and so I went upstairs to escape Justin.

I went to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. It was dark because I hadn’t switched the light on yet, but I felt a slight breeze and looked up to see that the window was open. The moonlight came pouring into the small bathroom and there was the faint smell of weed.

I looked out the window and spotted Noah, crouched over on the roof, smoking a blunt.

“What the hell,” I said as I climbed out the window over to where he was.

He blew out a stream of smoke and looked over at me. “Want a hit?” he asked me, holding out the weed. He chuckled, twirling it in his fingers before putting it back to his lips. “Just kidding, Lucy Holden.”

I watched him as he took another drag.

I sighed. “What’re you even doing here?” I asked him, looking up at the sky. Thanks to rotten suburbia, I was able to see those little specks of stars in the sky this late at night. Had I been in a major city, I would’ve never been able to experience a night where I could just look up at the sky and see stars like this. They weren’t bright and speckled all across the sky, but they were still something. It was odd, really. Instead of being bound by the hell that was suburbia, I was still able to see outside of my own world and a bit of the vast galaxy surrounding it. Yet, in an urban setting, I would never have the chance.

Noah took another drag and began coughing. “Shit,” he said, “I feel like a little bitch.”
I smiled on the inside at this.

I watched as he slowly blew out a ringlet of smoke and sucked it back through his lips, letting out a sigh deep within his lungs. His eyes were closed and when he finally opened them, Noah looked like he was in a world of his own. Disregarding our suburban setting and the stars, his eyes were glazed over as he stared out into Jay’s backyard.

“Shit, I’m really fucked up.” Noah began giggling. He looked over at me and I could see the crinkles that formed at his eyes from how big his smile was. I smiled briefly, thinking how stupid he looked. “You sure you don’t want any? I think I’m done. This shit is good.”

I stared down at the bud between his fingers and almost considered. “I’m good.”

He shrugged, flicking it between his forefinger and thumb. He moved his hand back, as if he was going to throw it off the roof, when I grabbed his hand.

Noah stopped and looked at me.

His eyes were just as red as Justin’s had been. But the way he was looking at me was as if he was a deer caught in the headlights. He looked genuinely surprised by my actions and his expression was frozen in place.

I stared back at him for good measure before taking it out of his hand and saying, “Fuck it,” and putting it between my lips.

Noah’s eyes widened. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Luce. I’m not peer pressuring you or anything. I know not to from DARE.”

I let out a puff, coughing and scoffing at the same time. “If you were really paying attention in DARE, you would know not to do drugs, either.”

Noah giggled at this and said, “Well, I’m not a very good student.”

I ignored him, taking another hit. I started coughing harder, experiencing a terrible, burning sensation in my lungs. My eyes watered and I thought I was going to die. Why did people smoke if it felt this terrible?

Noah moved his hand to my back and started rubbing it in circles, trying to soothe me. “Yeah, it’s gonna burn the first time. But on the bright side, you’ll be so high you won’t even know it.”

“How is that supposed to make me feel better?” I spat out, coughing even more in the process.

He smirked, moving his hand to my shoulder and squeezing it.

“You’ll see.”