Jawbreaker

Justin gave me a ride home. We were in his car in the school parking lot, trying to back out without crashing into anyone else’s car. I sat there, silent, watching Justin skillfully back out of the space he was in, maneuvering the wheel out of the lane and right towards the exit of the lot.

“How was your day?” he asked me, resting his hand on the stick shift.

“Fine,” I replied, biting my lower lip. I felt a little bad since, not long before, Justin had caught me in the parking lot with a cardboard box over my head.

And Noah Folds seated right next to me.

He nodded, paying attention to the road.

“Talk to anyone interesting today?” he asked me, reaching a red light and stopping.

I sat there, my fingers dipped in the pocket of the car door. I found a paper clip and a gum wrapper in there.

“Mm,” I replied, listening to the song on the radio.

His grip tightened on the steering wheel as he awkwardly shifted in his seat. I didn’t say anything as he cleared his throat, turning his head slightly.

“What were you even doing back there, Lucy?” he asked me, finally getting to it.

I shrugged. “I was pretending to be a robot.”

He choked back his laughter. “What?”

I looked at the mirror on my side of the car. I noticed a blue bug behind us. I could already see the outline of Billie Jean and Noah in the front. Noah was banging his head to some song, wording the lyrics. Billie Jean was laughing in the driver seat, clutching at her steering wheel as she kept her mouth open.

“It’s nothing,” I said, watching as the red light turned green, allowing us to go forward.



Life felt like a routine.

I got up.

Took a piss.

Looked in the mirror.

Disliked what I saw.

Began brushing my teeth while brushing my hair.

When I was done brushing my teeth, I still didn’t like what I saw in the mirror and settled on pulling my hair back into a ponytail.

I went to my closet, pulling out an outfit I had mentally prepared while I was in the bathroom. I dressed myself up in a light pink polo with some jeans and picked up my worn out flip-flops from the floor.

I climbed down the stairs, turning to enter the kitchen. My purse was already slung on the back of my chair, waiting for me. I picked up an apple from the fruit bowl, holding it in my mouth as I went to the bathroom downstairs, where all my makeup was. I put on some mascara as I ate the apple.

My mom was still asleep because she had an hour before she had to get up for work. I finished my apple in the kitchen as I flipped through the channels on the television, as I always did, and threw the core into the waste basket. I grabbed a tube of lipgloss from the bathroom, slicking it onto my lips and dabbing it with my fingers. I settled on my image, not caring because that’s what I always do, and turned to leave with my purse on my arm.

I drove to school, listening to my secret mix that Alaina had made me a few years ago. It still had my favorite bands on it.

When I got to school I parked, getting out of my car with my purse and walked towards the entrance. Others fled to the school, rushing to get to their lockers with their Starbucks in hand. I saw Bridget walking on the other side of the lot and she noticed me, waving me over. I waited till our paths merged before I said anything to her.

“Hey B,” I said, shifting my purse to the other shoulder, making sure that it didn’t bump into her as we walked. She did the same with hers.

“What up?” she asked, sifting through her purse for some gloss.

We entered through the doors and began walking in the same direction. Our lockers were located in the same hallway.

Bridget was at it with her phone, sending a massive of texts to random friends. She took off her jacket, throwing it in her locker as she read through one of her texts. I watched as she grabbed the thermos she was carrying with her, taking a sip of what I knew was chai tea.

She looked up at me. “Want some?” she offered, licking her lips.

I shook my head, shutting my locker and clutching my books to my chest.

She smiled. “See you later, Luce.”

I nodded, heading in the opposite direction, walking to my English class.

When lunch arrived, we were at the lockers once again.

“You buying?” she asked me, pulling out her wallet from her purse. I nodded.

“Although, I’m looking more to the vending machines,” I told her as we walked towards the cafeteria.

“Safe choice,” she commented, looking at her phone again.

Bridget was careful with her phone. She knew when to not get caught. While I always felt paranoia with my phone, Bridget was stealthy and quick. She was slick when it came to texting.

When we entered the cafeteria my eyes fell upon our table. Natalia and Turner were already eating their packed lunches, chatting away with one another. Justin was sitting there today, with one of his football buddies. He waved over at me, shooting me a smile. I waved back, walking along Bridget’s side to where the vending machines were.

While Bridget was standing in the lunch line, I stood in front of the vending machine, debating what unhealthy snack I would make into a meal. I had my choice of wheat poptarts or a bag of Snyder’s honey mustard pretzels.

Quite a dilemma.

Before I could hit B7 for my choice of the pretzels, a hand covered the buttons.

I looked over to see Noah Folds standing off to my side. He gave me a cheeky grin, staring back at me.

“What do you want?” I asked him, moving his hand away so that I can punch in my choice. Noah moved back, watching me.

“Now that doesn’t look like a healthy lunch to me,” commented Noah.

I ignored him, bending down to retrieve my bag out of the machine.

I got up and looked at him. He still smiled at me.

“How did your boyfriend react?” he asked me.

I walked past him, heading back to my table. He followed.

“Justin didn’t care,” I told him, keeping out the details.

It’s not like he really needed to know.

Noah kept at my pace. “Really?” he said. “He seemed a lot more perturbed by the fact that you were sitting in a lonely parking lot with a complete stranger, with cardboard boxes over your heads--”

“So? It’s not like you, a stranger, would ever understand our relationship. Maybe Justin trusts me. Maybe he believes that I would never do anything with someone--” I looked at Noah, “--like you.”

“I guess so,” he said, smirking at me as he stopped walking and I joined my table.

I sat down in the plastic chair next to Justin, holding onto my bag of pretzels. I didn’t know what to think after what Noah had said. He guessed so? What was that supposed to mean?

Why had I reacted so much to what he had said?

Justin put an arm around my chair, leaning into me.

“Is that kid bothering you?” he asked me.

I looked over at him, disrupted from my thoughts.

I looked back to see Noah seated at his own table, with his own friends, enjoying his own time.

“No,” I answered, ripping open my bag of pretzels and quickly stuffing one in my mouth. “Everything’s fine.”