Burnt Cimba's

I never thought that life could be so cruel. I mean if there was a god, out there in the mass of clouds and seagulls, he was not good to me. My dad used to always say that god wasn’t a social worker but instead an architect. I hadn’t fully comprehended that until now, until I knew there was no hope, no salvage and now, no water left. Instead now, for the first time in my life I wished there was a god and that he was a social worker that he had a heart and the power to save us, instead the dull dead ringing of my fathers practical words flooded my head, convincing me there wasn’t someone watching over me, teasing my sanity – what I had left of it that is.
Sebastian turned to me, a dark smudge of bruise under his left eye, a mark left by the harsh temper of Sasha. He meekly smiled at me and I stared at him, not smiling, not because I wished to be cold to him but instead it was just a sign I hadn’t the energy to grin playfully as a sign of reassurance. Come on! The ask of reassurance, from me? It seemed ambitious and foolish, just a waste of time. I looked into his dark eyes searching for a light. I gave up and looked around nervously, uncomfortable from his penetrating stare.
I guess I should explain my emotional epiphany before I go into the meaning of life and its uncanny resemblance to a pile of stinking crap. It started; to sum it up briefly, with a flirtatious trip to the bush, a questionable few nights in a confined tent and a drunken drive back in time for Mr Hensley’s fascinating recall of history and its dullness or lack thereof. Now it was a hunt of survival. We were lost, stranded in the middle of bush, I kid you not. Trust me, it wasn’t some meek attempt of a John Marsden novel but real life.
It has been now five days, not long enough to lose all sense of dignity but long enough to start to see hope slip through your fingers – slowly but steadily. It was the period between loving the people you were with and loathing them. I hated all the smug, macho boys which buffed up at the sight of danger but also felt close to the girls which shouted and hit them.
My name is Lisa Brundage, in my life I’ve been out with fourteen people. I have dumped every single one of them. Not because I didn’t love them, I had loved them all, though I never let it slip of course, I had dumped to keep my dignity. I’m the kind of girl you dump, the kind of girl you never actually love, just the girl who’ll go out with you for the sake of a boyfriend. But of course I’ll never let a boy break my heart like that, never, because I’m scared I might actually, truly love them and that is a fate worse than death, for a girl like me at least.
This trip was a chance for me to hang out with friends, single. My best friend, Sasha, Melissa, Sebastian, Nathan and Peter were all part of the plan, of the trip. Each with their own secrets and stories. It was suppose to be a laugh – the beginning of a new era, now I knew the new era was going to be the beginning of the end.