Call For A Second Chance

The flashing red digit on the answering machine wasn't a three. It was a five. Which was odd. Very, very odd. Strange. Weird even. No one had called me in months. Curiosity flooded my body. Who could it be? My finger found its way to the button that said Play.

"Hi, Hannah, it's me Ethan. Do you think you could give me a call? I'd really appreciate it. Bye."

At the voice itself, I took a sharp breath of air. When I heard his name, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. Then, once the message was over, the room was silent except for the hum of the refrigerator.

My emotions ran wild. Desire. Hate. Resentment. Hope.

I still wanted him after all this time? Well, he couldn't have me even if he wanted. I wouldn't allow myself to love him again. It was his decision to leave, after all. I hated him because he broke me. I resented him. I abhorred him, the strongest kind of hate. But I hoped. Damn it, I hoped that he would call.

The next message came on.

"Hey. It's me again. Do you think you could meet me at the park at seven? I have something to, uh, tell you."

No. No, I could not meet you at the park, you presumptuous arrogant fool. When you left, Ethan, I swore I would never, ever think of you again. Yes, I'm bitter, Ethan, but it's because of you. You made me this way.

I ignored the phone. I forgot dinner and the work I needed to finish before tomorrow, took some Nyquil to purposely knock myself out, and went straight to bed.

The next morning, I began my day fresh. I brushed my teeth like I normally did. I took my shower like I normally did. I ate my breakfast on the run like I normally did. I rode my bike the six blocks to work like I normally did. I worked the entire day like I normally did. But when I went home like I normally did, my answering message didn't have three messages like it normally did. In fact, it didn't even have five. It had nine.

"Hannah, why weren't you at the park? I could have sworn I left you a message asking earlier. Could you give me a call anyway? I really want to talk to you."

There was a beep as the machine went to the next message.

"Hannnnnnah? Are you there? I really want to talk to you. Please give me a call. Just in case you don't have it, my number's--"

My finger punched the Next button, hoping for it to be someone other than him.

"Listen, I realize you might still be mad, but do you think you could meet me at the park at seven? I'd really like to talk to you."

Another beep.

"Hi, this is the Movie Gallery calling. We've noticed you haven't been in in a while, so we'd like to offer you a free renting of any of our movies. Have a nice day."

I sighed in relief at the ninth message. Thank God it wasn't Ethan.

I really hadn't been to the Movie Gallery in a while. It had been weeks since I had seen a movie or taken a day off. I needed to, didn't I? Sure I did. I needed to relax.

With the intent of taking the rest of today off (and maybe even the next day if I felt like it), I changed from my nice work clothes to something more casual, got on my bike, and headed to the Movie Gallery. When I got there, I locked my bike against a handicap sign and entered the store.

As I browsed the shelves, I felt a prickling on my neck. I felt eyes; someone was watching me. But when I looked around me, I saw no one. I quickly pushed the thought to the back of my mind and continued to search.

After I went to the counter and handed over my movies, the guy working there began to take the security devices off. He opened each case to make sure the DVD was in it, but once he got to Wanted, he tsked.

"The DVD's not in here," he said.

"Oh," I said, a bit disappointedly. I had really wanted to see Wanted. Partially -- okay, mostly -- because James McAvoy was in it. But I had grabbed the last one on the shelf.

"Well that's okay," I reasoned. "I can always see it next time. By the way, I got a call on my answering mach--"

"I think we might have one in the back," he interrupted quickly. "Let me just buzz the rewind guy."

The rewind guy? Why did they need a rewind guy when almost every movie was on DVD now?

As Hello My Name Is JOHN used the telephone to call the back room, I tapped my fingers on the counter. It really wasn't that big of a deal. I could rent it another day. I was about to tell him just that when I felt a tap on my back.

I turned and gasped.

"You," I growled.

"You," he repeated. He grinned his trademark grin. His hair was just as messy as ever, but he had allowed it to grow out. His eyes were still the same crystal blue. His skin was still as honey-toned as ever. He didn't look any for the worse. Whereas, I, even after all this time, still looked a mess.

I don't miss him, I kept reminding myself.

I turned back to Hello My Name Is JOHN. "You," I growled again.

"What did I do?" he asked boredly.

"You lured me in here for him! It was your voice on my answering machine."

He shrugged. "Ethan said you were a friend."

A friend? How could he call me a friend after we had been so much more than friends? We were almost married. Didn't he remember that?

"Hannah, I just want to talk to you," Ethan muttered into my ear.

"Yeah, well, what if I don't want to talk to you?" I turned back to face him.

"Listen, I get that you're angry. But would you please give me a chance to explain everything to you?"

I shrugged. "I tried calling you for days after you left. You didn't answer. And now, out of the blue, you call and expect me to?"

"Yes?"

I shook my head. "No way."

"Hurry it up, John," I spat after turning back to face him. "I want to get out of here."

While Hello My Name Is JOHN placed the DVDs into a bag, I poked my finger into Ethan's chest. "If you call me one more time, I swear..."

"You swear what?" He asked playfully. "It'll be the last thing I do?"

I shook my head. "You don't get it do you? I want absolutely nothing to do with you. So leave me alone."

After paying, I walked around the counter, picked up my bag, and left the store. When I got home, I ignored the answering machine, stuffed the DVD into the player, and flung myself onto the couch. I quickly pressed Play. But Wanted did not start playing.

I watched as the happy blonde-haired girl danced across the apartment saying things like "We can put the couch there" and "Red curtains would look best on these windows." I flinched as she stared directly into the camera -- directly at me -- and said, "What do you think, Ethan?"

The video went black after that sentence, and I remember -- though it had been almost a year and I had tried hard to forget -- what had happened next. Ethan had swooped down, kissed me, and said, "I think this is the perfect place for me."

That had been mid-June, one week after he had asked me to marry him. It was just after we had signed a one year lease and moved in that he left. It was early May now. I still had a month before I had decide whether I was going to stay or move, and I had no clue which I wanted to do. Two inner voices fought over the answer.

I wanted to forget Ethan, didn't I? So that should mean I wanted to move. But this was an amazing apartment for so little money. So I should stay. Besides, Ethan might.... Might what? Come back? Yes, he might. But did I need him to come back? No. True, but I wanted him to.

At that realization, I got up off the couch and moved to the kitchen.

Ethan had hurt me when he left. But there had to have been a reason for his leaving, right? And he wanted to explain that reason to me. That's why he had suddenly called. But I was too stubborn to call him back. So, knowing that I loved to watch movies and assuming I still watched a lot, he got Hello My Name Is JOHN to call my house and offer a free movie. His plan had worked. I had come in. And he had tried to tell me face-to-face. But I still wouldn't listen. He knew I wouldn't though, so he planted that home DVD. He knew it would have the effect he wanted.

I picked up the phone and dialed.

"Movie Gallery. Hello, my name is John. How may I help you today?"

"Put him on the phone."

"What?"

"Put him on the phone," I repeated.

There was a slight thud. John must have covered the mouthpiece with his hand. Meaning that Ethan was right beside him and they were having a conversation about me.

I counted to five Mississippi. I was about to hang up the phone when a voice came crystal clear through the earpiece.

"Hannah?" He said breathlessly.

"Meet me in the park at seven" was all I said before hanging up.

When seven came, I was at the park sitting under the tree where we had first met.

Ethan was a dog walker back then, and I was there taking a break from studying for an upcoming exam. I was sitting on the bench eating an ice cream when a tiny Chihuahua came up. She started yapping at me, and then out of nowhere, there Ethan was with a German Shepherd and two Labs.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" he yelled grabbing the tiny leash. Then, once he had the leash securely in his hand, he added, "She sometimes gets away from me when the others are, uh...busy."

"It's okay," I soothed. "I'm a magnet for dogs."

He sat down on the bench next to me and introduced himself. "I'm Ethan."

"Hannah," I said.

"So, what brings you to the park today? I'm obviously here for these guys." He smiled, pointing at the oddly matched group of dogs.

"It's a nice day," I answered. "I really don't want to miss it studying."

"Oh?" he asked eagerly. "And what do you study?"

"Just the regular college stuff."

"I wish I could do that. You know, go to college. But I really don't have the money for it. And even if I did, I'm not really all that smart. I'd probably flunk out shortly after I got there."

"Oh..." was all I could say to something so straightforward.

"Besides, I like my odd jobs. You know, dog walker. Dish washer. Things that make a difference, yet in a small way. I mean, it's not like I'm saving lives like a doctor or helping people buy a house like a realtor. But I do all the little behind the scenes things that you never think about."

"Huh. I guess I never really thought about it." And I hadn't. Not until he brought it to my attention. "I suppose you are pretty important."

He grinned again.

One of the Labs tugged on his leash.

"Well, I better be off," he said as he stood.

He started to walk away, then, thinking of something, he looked back at me. "I walk everyday around this time."

I nodded. Though, at that moment, I had no intention of ever seeing him again. It wasn't until I had gotten home and began to study again that I found I was bored. But those few minutes on a park bench weren't boring. Not at all. And I wanted those few minutes of liveliness.

Our casual three minute meetings in the park grew into casual ten minute meetings. Then half hour meetings. Then hour long ones. Then we started to date. And we fell in love, if we weren't already. And we got engaged and moved in together. Everything was absolutely perfect until he left.

"Hannah?" a voice asked, cutting through my thoughts.

I looked up. "You wanted to explain it to me, right? Why you left? Well, I'm listening."

He sat on the bench. "First of all, promise me you won't say anything until I'm done."

I shook my head. "I can't promise you that. I will try to not say anything, but I can't make a promise I'm not sure I'll keep."

"I get it. I screwed up. So can you quit with the remarks?"

"Fine," I pouted.

"So here it goes. I'd like to say you're my only fear."

"What the hell does that mean?" I interrupted despite my saying I wouldn't. "You're scared of me?"

"No," he defended. "I'm not afraid of you. Actually, I guess you could say I'm not afraid of anything about you. But I am for you."

"What?"

He sighed. "You could do so much better than me, Hannah. You're smart. You're successful. You need someone who's not going to spend his life walking dogs or rewinding movies."

I shook my head. "You're important. In a small, behind the scenes way. Remember?"

"I'm not like Isaac Roland."

"Isaac Roland?" I wondered. "Why do you want to be like him?"

"I don't," he said, shaking his head at the idea. "But successful guys like your buddy Isaac should be with the girls like you. If they aren't, then the universe gets all out of whack."

"Screw the universe," I countered. "And how do you even know about Isaac? You two have never met."

"He called the apartment looking for you shortly after we moved in. Told me how he used to date you. And how you left him after two months."

"You idiot. I left him for you."

He blinked. "Well, see, I didn't know that, did I?"

"But if you didn't know, then why did you call me?"

"I missed you. And I knew from asking around that you haven't been with anyone since me. So I figured I might as well call for a second chance. You know, to win you back."

"You don't have one," I said quickly.

"Oh."

I grinned. "Only because you don't need one. You never really lost me. You pissed me off and made me sad, mad, and bitter all at once, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. Which really is annoying when you're trying to forget someone."

A look of relief passed across his face when he realized that I was taking him back. It had all been a misunderstanding. That was all. And it was all because some boring, stuffy guy I used to casually date had a problem with rejection and was jealous of my happiness.

"Hannah, I'm so sorry."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know. I am too. Let's just...go home and forget this past year even happened."