Rollercoaster Ride

I hated this day.

Everyone in school kept tossing me sympathetic looks and smiles whenever we passed each other. I hated when people were doing it. I could only smile a little at them in return. I wondered how they knew about Kennedy; I didn’t report to the school.

“I did,” Jared said before biting his sandwich. “We don’t want him to be marked as absent when he really is sick.”

I stared at my lunch tray, suddenly losing my appetite. “And the school believed you?”

“I asked for the doctor’s letter in the hospital earlier.”

I nodded. “Thanks for helping.”

“Hey, don’t mention it,” he smiled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and lightly pressed it. “We always have each other’s back.” And then he let go to continue eating his lunch.

My mind then wandered.

Wandered about how school sucked when a lot of people knew what personally happened to you.

And then about how empty the house was without my brother.

And then about him lying in the hospital bed.

And then about comma.

And then about death.

Just as I began to think about it, the chair next to me made a noise. Pat sat down and stabbed a straw into his box of juice.

“Hey, Pat…” I said.

“Yep?” He took the straw into his mouth and started sucking what was inside the juice box.

“What happens when we die?”

He started choking on his juice while the others stopped whatever they were doing, all of their eyes locked at me as if I was a target.

“Is this about Kennedy?” Pat asked back – at least, tried to. He was still choking.

I didn’t answer, locking my eyes on my untouched lunch.

“Come on, Daphne! What the hell are you thinking?” Jared frowned, crossing his arms against his chest. “He’s not gonna die!”

“We don’t know that!” I argued.

“Don’t even try to think about it,” Garrett hissed.

I scoffed. “Says someone who was sneaking behind his back.”

The table fell into silence.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” he muttered, staring at me.

I rolled my eyes. “Sure you did.”

“Daphne, you didn’t even know what really happened!”

“Enlighten me.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say a word, the bell rang, cutting him off. I stood up and grabbed my backpack, heading to my locker to grab the books I would need for the next lessons. I went to the Chemistry lab and sat at my usual table. No longer, Pat came and sat next to me.

“That wasn’t nice,” he said as he dropped his bag onto the floor. All of us knew what happened between Neyla and Garrett now, but they all managed to act normal to them. I couldn’t.

I shrugged. “You know the kind of person I am, Pat. I’m expressive and I say what I have in my mind. I can’t act nice to them when I know they were stabbing my brother behind his back.”

He didn’t say anything as the teacher walked into the class.

“But you do know they’re two of the greatest people you know,” he whispered.

- - -

That night, I was sitting Indian style on the sofa bed, reading a book while listening to Maroon 5 softly playing through the speaker of my phone. My eyes would constantly glance at the phone, wishing someone called or texted me – specifically, John. I knew it wasn’t going to happen in one more week.

I sighed, placing the book on my lap and stared at Kennedy. I wondered how it felt like to be in a comma – would your spirit or soul wander around like a ghost, or would you just dream like you were sleeping.

I suddenly thought of a person that John told me about: she woke up after thirty years of comma. I really didn’t want that to happen to my brother or anyone else close to me.

I got up and put the book on a table, near my bag. I went to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth, and then went back to the room. I walked over Kennedy’s bed before bending down and kissed his forehead.

“Goodnight,” I said.

I continued to walk to the wall near the door to flick off the lights, and then I headed to the sofa bed. I lay down, placing my head on the pillow, and pulled the blanket over me. I slowly fell asleep with the voice of James Blunt singing from my phone.