No One Knows

For both Jessie and Billie Joe, the return of Ollie and John to Berkeley on Friday afternoon wasn't a welcome one. Jessie wasn't yet home from school when they arrived, but Billie Joe was lying on the couch, having only relocated from lying on his bed an hour earlier. Normally he'd be whiling away the afternoon jamming with Mike and Al, but he didn't feel like it that day. The events of Wednesday night hadn't left him in the most sociable of moods, and it wasn't like he had a band to practice with anymore anyway.

He looked up as John entered the room, fixing him with the same cold stare he always did.

"Where's Mom?" he asked, noticing John was alone.
"I dropped her off at work on the way. She had some accounts to sort out. Where's Jessie?"

Billie Joe shrugged.

"Has she come home from school yet?"
"Not yet."

John frowned.

"You take her with you on Wednesday night?"
"I said I would, didn't I?"

John scowled at him.

"Yes, you did. But it's that cocky fucking attitude of yours that I find hard to trust."

Billie Joe didn't reply to that. He just turned his attention back to The Simpsons. He could feel himself getting angry, but he didn't want to be the one to rise to it.

John turned to leave the room.

"She'd better not be at that fucking record store," he muttered on his way towards the door.

Billie Joe looked up at him again, his green eyes darkening.

"So what if she is?" he asked him.

John stopped in his tracks and turned to face him.

"What?"
"So what if she is at her fucking record store? What's the problem with that?"
"I've banned her from it. That's the problem with it."
"Why did you ban her from it?" he asked, incredulously.
"She was spending too much time there. Not that I should have to explain the decisions I make about my daughter to you."
"Too much time?! It's called work. Not that you'd know anything about that"
John stared at Billie Joe, furiously.
"Don't you fucking dare take that line with me, you cocky little shit! You don't know a fucking thing about it, it's nothing to do with you!"
"You're living in my fucking house, it is to do with me. And it will be until you take Jessie's approach and get a fucking job so you don't have to live off my Mom for any longer."

For a moment the rage in John's eyes struck real fear in Billie Joe. Then he realized he'd been wanting to say this to him since he and Jessie had moved in and at least if John hit him he'd have a concrete reason for telling his Mom to kick him out of the house.

Billie Joe stood up as John lunged towards him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

"You need to get some fucking respect Billie Joe!" John growled at him, "You're not just cocky, you're a fucking hypocrite. Sitting around all day doped up doing fuck all-"
"-I don't have a daughter I'm supposed to be supporting!" Billie Joe argued, raising his voice, "I only have to look out for myself, so I can do what the hell I want! And at least I've got some fucking ambition!"
"What? Your little band? You think that's gonna get you anywhere? You're even dumber than I thought. It's just an excuse for you wasters to sit around getting stoned all day and-"
"-Fuck you!"
"I could call the cops on your ass any day I wanted. You ever think about that?"

Billie Joe swallowed, suddenly unable to find his words. He hadn't thought about that.

John laughed, nastily.

"You and your little friends would cause quite a stir if the cops got a tip off to search you, don't you think?"
"What about if the cops got a tip off you were manhandling me? What then?"
"You think this is manhandling, you fucking pussy?"
"Well, why don't you show me what you can really do then, John? Huh? Fucking hit me. Go on. I know you've been wanting to do it for a while now, and I'm not gonna stop you. Just fucking lay one into me, right now. "

John was almost white with fury, and Billie Joe knew he was pushing him to his limit.

"Do it!" he yelled, staring him hard in his cold blue eyes and wishing, not for the first time, that John wasn't so much bigger than him, "Fucking hit me!"

Billie Joe should have known that John wasn't about to take orders from him. He let go of the front of his shirt and gave him a hard shove, making him fall backwards onto the couch again. Then he leaned down to face him, his breath coming out in ragged pants, and pointed his finger in Billie Joe's face.

"I'm sick to death of you," he said, "You think you're so goddamn smart, but you aren't. You're fucking stupid to think you can get one over on me."
"I'm smarter than you think," said Billie Joe, coldly, "And so's Jessie. We'll get one over on you eventually."

John's eyes narrowed in sudden realization.

"What's this 'we'?" he asked.
"Huh?"
"Don't play innocent with me. Why are you suddenly fighting Jessie's battles for her? One minute you hate her and the next you're sticking up for her and picking fights with me over the way I treat her? That doesn't add up, Billie Joe. What the fuck is going on?!"
"Nothing's fucking going on!" Billie Joe cried, angrily, "I was picking a fight cause you treat her like shit! Why does that mean there's something going on?!"
"I'll treat her how the hell I think I should treat her," growled John, "She's my daughter, it's my job. You can stay the fuck away from her."
"You haven't made that easy, moving her into my fucking house."
"I don't care how easy things are for you. I don't want you laying a finger on my daughter."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because she's a pretty girl and you're a teenage boy with a one track mind."
"My mind has several tracks thanks."
"Well, let's keep it that way. Cause I'm warning you Billie Joe, if I find out you've even touched her, I'm gonna make you wish you'd never set eyes on me."
"That won't be hard, I wish that already."
"Likewise" spat John, giving Billie Joe a final shove, before stalking out of the room, leaving him on the couch waiting for his heart to stop racing.

Fucking prick.

Jessie hadn't expected her Dad to get back from Sacramento until later that evening, so she took her chances and went to see Eddie at the record store, to fill him in on her Gilman Street experience.

"I can't believe he left you by yourself in fucking Mahubay Gardens while he coked himself up" said Eddie, shaking his head.

He was standing at the counter updating his account book as he listened with interest and a growing disbelief to Jessie's account of the Sweet Children gig a few nights before.

"Well... he had just caught his girlfriend cheating on him with his drummer," Jessie reasoned, "I don't think he was thinking straight."
"That isn't an excuse. He had responsibilities."
"I know. And he did apologize"

Eddie looked at Jessie sidelong, his pen poised above the paper.

"You're freaking me out," he said "Where's all the venom gone? A few days ago you would have relished in any reason to further your hatred of Billie Joe. And now that you've actually come up with some concrete evidence for me that he's as much of a pain in the ass as you've been saying, you're defending him!"
"I'm not exactly defending him... " Jessie protested.
"That's what it looks like," said Eddie, raising an eyebrow,
"I'm tolerating him. We're tolerating each other," Jessie clarified, "It's a new arrangement."
"Right... " said Eddie, "And did you manage to tolerate his band too?"

Jessie sighed, putting her head in her hands.

"Yknow, as much as I hate to admit it, they were actually really good."

Eddie smiled.

"I heard the same," he said.
"Not that it matters now," she continued, "Cause Billie's kicked the drummer out over the whole girlfriend-stealing issue. So right now, Sweet Children is no more."
"Ah, it'll blow over."
"No, seriously, I don't think it will. Something tells me he isn't the forgiving type."
"So they need a new drummer, then"
"Yeah."
"Y'know, a kid was in here last week, wanted me to stick flyers up. He's a drummer looking for a band." Eddie chuckled. "He called himself Tre Cool."

Jessie's heart skipped slightly at the mention of his name, and she felt her face turn warm. She remembered Tre telling her he was looking for a new band. Why hadn't she remembered that earlier? Having Tre join Billie Joe's band would probably mean she'd get to see a lot of him. The thought gave her butterflies. But maybe Tre and Billie Joe spending a lot of time together wasn't a good idea? It might just complicate everything further. And it wasn't like Billie Joe would help her case by speaking favorably of her.

"Why are you blushing?"

Eddie's voice broke her train of thoughts and she looked over at him.

"Huh? I'm not!"
"Uh... yes you are."
"It's just hot in here."

Eddie shrugged it off.

"It is a fucking hot day. If I could afford some damn air conditioning... hey, that's the kid I was just telling you about!"
"Huh?"

Jessie spun round to face the door, where a familiar head of green hair was entering the shop. Oh God.

"Uhhh... . You need anything from the back room?"

Eddie eyed her suspiciously.

"No. And you aren't supposed to be working. So double no."
"Well, I'd better be going then," she said hurriedly, jumping off the stool she had been perched on and picking up her backpack.
"O... kay... ."

"Hey Eddie."

Eddie looked up as Tre approached the counter.

"Hey man," he said, "What's up?"
"I just... Jessie?"

Jessie bit her lip and pleaded with herself not to blush.

"Hi Tre."
"Hey, you guys know each other?" Eddie asked, surprised.
"Yeah, we uh, we met cause uh... well, I hang out with Billie Joe and uh... she lives with him."

Eddie looked from Tre to Jessie and back again.

"Right," he said, an amused smile playing on his lips as he took in their behavior and realization dawned. "Well, we were just talking about you weren't we Jessie?"
"What? No we weren't."
"Yes we were."
"We weren't exactly talking about him."
"We touched on the subject, but Jessie didn't go into detail." Eddie explained, with smile.

Jessie gritted her teeth and aimed a glare at Eddie. Apparently her little crush on Tre wasn't as well hidden as she had thought, and Eddie was taking some real delight in it. Damn him.

"Right... " said Tre, looking confused, and a little embarrassed, "Well, I just wanted to see if you stuck up my ad... "
"I did," said Eddie, "It's in the window. I saw a few people take down your number."
"Really? That's cool. Well... I was just checking... I guess I'll see you guys later."
"I think you need to get going too, right Jessie?" Eddie asked her, "Before you get your grounded ass kicked."
"Yeah... I guess so," said Jessie, nervously, avoiding Tre's eyes.
"Bye bye then," he said, giving her a shove in the direction of the door, and of Tre.

She gave Eddie one last glare before heading out of the store behind Tre.

When they got outside, Tre turned to face her, squinting a little in the glare of the hot sun.
"So... how's it going?" he asked her.
"Great," she said, "You?"
"I'm great too," said Tre, "You manage to cope with Billie Joe ok the other night?"

She grinned.

"Yeah" she said, "He doesn't remember any of it, but it makes great ammo for piss taking."
"We could tell him he said anything."
"Y'know, that's a good idea," Jessie grinned, "And it would be pretty sweet revenge."

Tre grinned back.

"Want me to walk you home? I'm goin' that way... "
"Sure," said Jessie, nervously.

They started towards home, walking in silence for a few moments, their eyes on the cracked street under their feet. Tre spoke up first.

"You and BJ still got a free house?"
"No... they get back today. I'm hoping they aren't back already, cause I'm supposed to be grounded. And banned from the record store."
"Oh yeah. The report thing. He banned you from the record store for good?"
"Supposedly, but I'm hoping he'll forget about that part."
"I can't believe I didn't know you worked there"
"I don't work there that much, especially not now."
"It must be a cool place to work though. Great music. And Eddie's a good guy. He came to see my old band at 924 a couple times."
"He is a nice guy," she agreed. "At first I was kinda scared of him, cause he looks pretty menacing, but he isn't scary at all. In fact, he's probably the least scary guy I've ever met."

Tre smiled.

"So you a closet punk fan after all?"

She smiled.

"Not really. But Eddie's giving me an education."
"I bet I could get you into it"

Jessie laughed.

"That's what Billie Joe said."

Tre smiled.

"How's Billie doing?" he asked, "Is still bummed about the Al thing?"
"I think so," said Jessie, "He's still moping around I think. I don't know. I don't talk to him much. But we have been getting on better the past coupla days. We made an agreement to put up with each other and try not to fight. Cause it was just making life even harder. And things are hard enough right now as it is."

Tre nodded, before silently sliding his hand into hers, making her smile down at her feet.

Jessie's stomach tightened as they approached the house, and noticed her Dad's car on the driveway. The fact he'd gotten back before she had definitely wasn't good news, and she knew she was in for an interrogation. She just hoped she could get through it without him losing his temper.

She chewed nervously on her lip, and hadn't noticed that she had stopped walking until Tre said,
"Are you ok?"
"Uh... yeah."
"Why have we stopped?"
"Um... I just remembered something. It's not important."
"Ok... "
"You'd better not come right up to the house. Cause if my Dad sees you he might get mad."

She knew he would definitely get mad, and she didn't need to give him any more reasons to do that. He was going to be mad enough already.

"Okay," said Tre, "Well... maybe I'll see you soon... right?"
"Yeah" Jessie smiled, distracted by the fear that was now taking her over, "Yeah, that'd be... I mean maybe, yeah."

Tre took her other hand, turning her to face him. She raised her eyes to his and he smiled down at her. He took one of his hands from hers and laid it on her cheek, and just as he thought about how Billie Joe would probably kill him for it, he leaned in and touched his lips against hers.

Jessie was just as startled as she had been the first time, but this time she managed to get her act together and kiss him back. Her hand rested on his shoulder as his tongue parted her lips, meeting with hers as she kissed him back, before her paranoia about how close they were to the house, and her father, caused her to break it off.

He smiled with satisfaction before gently pulling her into a hug, her chin resting on his shoulder and the mess of green hair tickling her cheek.

"So I'll see you soon..." he said again, hope in his voice.
"Yeah, I think you will," she smiled.

At that moment, she heard the front door of the house slam shut and her heart almost jumped into her mouth. She quickly pulled away from Tre as they looked up to see Billie Joe approaching, guitar in hand, and she let out a breath of relief that it wasn't her father.

Billie Joe was surprised to see Tre and Jessie together to say the least, and especially surprised to see them with their arms around each other. He couldn't help the surprise from showing on his face as he tried to work out what was going on, and the guilty look he received from Tre told him more than anything else.

"Hey Billie," Tre said, awkwardly.
"Hey guys," said Billie Joe, looking from one of them to the other, "What's going on?"
"Nothing," said Jessie, quickly, "We just met in the record store and Tre... walked home with me."
"Right," said Billie Joe, eying them suspiciously, "Well, you're in trouble, you know that?"

Jessie swallowed.

"Really?"
"Yeah, your Dad's pissed off and I'm getting the brunt of it so if you'd get in there and take some of the pressure off, that'd be great."
"What kinda mood's he in?"
"The shitty kind," said Billie Joe, "So make something up fast. Something school-related."
"Fuck," Jessie muttered under her breath, the fear coming back, "I'd better get inside."
"Bye Jessie," said Tre, quietly, avoiding Billie Joe's eyes.
"Bye," she called as she walked towards the house, her stomach sinking with every step.

When she was out of sight, Billie Joe turned to Tre.

"Okay, what's going on?"
"Huh?" Tre asked, innocently, "What - what do you mean?"

He wasn't prepared for a full on attack, so he thought holding Billie Joe off as long as it took him to come up with something good was the best idea.

"What's with all the hugging? Hasn't this little friendship moved along kinda fast, Tre?"
"It was just... a hug," Tre said guiltily, his eyes flicking anywhere but at Billie Joe.
"It didn't look like just a hug to me" said Billie Joe matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest, "It looked like a particular kind of hug."

Tre bit his lip.

"It was just a hug Billie Joe. What's the big deal anyway? I mean, if it had been more than a hug, what would be the problem?"
"It's Jessie!" said Billie Joe, "That's the problem! We've been over this!"
"I know, but I don't get it!"

Billie Joe sighed. He didn't know what to say, because he didn't really get it either. He just knew that if Jessie and Tre got too close, it would just be too weird.

"Billie Joe," said Tre, "She's just a girl. And it's not like she's your sister or anything."
"I know she's not my sister! She's about as far from my sister as you could get!"
"Well, not really, I mean you do live together and your parents are-"
"-That doesn't make her family!" Billie Joe, protested, quickly, "We aren't related! We aren't anything like family! And the living arrangement's just temporary!"
"Woah, dude, just chill okay? So then what's the problem?"
"I don't know, alright? It's just weird," Billie Joe sighed. "And her Dad's a fucking psycho. You don't wanna give him any reason to hate you. Trust me on that."

Tre frowned.

"Well, that's kinda up to me, if I wanna take that risk... right?"

Billie Joe bit his lip and nodded, suddenly feeling very unsettled but unable to say why. He knew it wasn't fair yelling at Tre though. It wasn't like he had actually done anything wrong.

"Okay, whatever," he said, giving in "Let's just forget it. Sorry, man."

Tre shrugged.

"It's okay," he said, eying Billie Joe with concern. Billie Joe hadn't been very good at hiding how uptight he'd been feeling lately.

"Look," said Billie Joe, "I'm heading over to Mike's for a jam, you wanna come?"
"Sure," Tre smiled, relieved to be moving away from the subject, "Let's go."

Jessie lay on her bed, watching the shadows creeping up the walls, as the night drew in and the room darkened. She could have got up and turned on the light, but she didn't have the energy to move, emotionally or physically. She just stayed where she was, listening to Henry's purrs coming from the foot of the bed, and letting her tears seep into the pillows.

She told him she'd stayed late to study after school, but he hadn't believed her. He knew when she lied. Sometimes she thought it seemed like he could read her mind. But she hoped he couldn't. Because if he could read her mind, he would know how much it hurt. How much everything hurt. And she liked to think he didn't know. She liked to think that was the reason he carried on doing it. That he didn't realize how much he was hurting her. Every word, every hateful stare, every strike.

She winced as she rolled onto her back, new tears forming in her eyes at the painful reminder of fresh bruises. Fresh secrets.

She heard slow footsteps on the stairs, and felt her heart begin to race again. Hadn't he finished with her yet? Hadn't he made his damn point? She squeezed her eyes shut tight, like it would make a difference, but relaxed slightly on hearing a knock at the door. He wouldn't knock. Would he?

"Jessie... ."

She let out a deep breath and quickly wiped her eyes.

"Yeah... "

The door opened, and a head poked round the door, and she didn't think she could ever be as relieved to see Billie Joe as she was right then.

"Jeez, its dark in here," he said, "You know that light switches are for times like this right?"

He reached over and flicked on the light, and the sudden brightness made her shield her eyes. She sat up slowly, trying her hardest to hide the pain she was in, knowing that Billie Joe could never know. No one could.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, "You aren't studying again are you?"
"No... " she said, "But there's not much I can do. I'm grounded, remember?"

Billie Joe studied her face for a moment.

"... Are you okay?" he asked, hesitantly, "I mean... you look, kinda weird."

Like you've been crying, he thought, but he couldn't say it. If she was trying to hide it from him, it was because she didn't want him to know, and he knew they weren't close enough to be comfortable with deep and meaningful conversations about her emotional state. Hell, they'd only been on speaking terms for two days.

"Yeah... I'm fine," she said, "Just kinda tired... that's all."
"Okay," he said.

He didn't believe her, and she knew that as well as he did. The silence that followed was an awkward one. He had no idea what he was supposed to say.

"Um... " he mumbled, "Well, anyway, I just came to say hi."

She bit her lip, feeling awkward too. Since when did he just come into her room to say hi? She really wasn't in the mood for making small talk with Billie Joe, but she couldn't help but feel bad that he seemed to be making an effort to be nice to her and she kept brushing him off.

On his way to the door, he stopped and turned round.

"You know... I asked Tre Cool to join the band tonight."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And he wanted to, right away. We had a practice, and it sounded awesome... I even wrote some new stuff."
"So Sweet Children are back," said Jessie, with a smile. "Well... that's really cool, Billie Joe."
"Sweet Children are history," said Billie Joe, shaking his head, "We got a new name now."
"Which is... "
"You'll think it's dumb."
"I know I will, but you can at least let me pretend"

He smiled a little at the return of her sharpness.

"Green Day."

She giggled.

"I like it," she said.
"Really?" he grinned,

She nodded, then grinned back.

"Yeah," she said, "It sure suits you more than the last one"