No One Knows

Not a word was spoken on the walk home, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts and emotions to think of a thing to say to each other. Billie Joe kept an arm wrapped around Jessie as they walked through the rain, and she leaned into him. All the crying and the yelling had left her feeling weakened and empty, and she was still aching from her fall.

John and Ollie still weren't home by the time they got back to the house, and they hadn't ever been more glad of it. The way Billie Joe had reacted to that night's revelations, she didn't think she could trust him not to completely lose his rag if he was faced with John right then.

When they got into the house, he led her into the living room and sat her down on the couch. Then he shook the water from his hair and sat down next to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, after a moment's hesitation.

She looked at him and nodded, still shivering from the rain.

"I'll be right back," he said, holding up a finger and getting up off the couch.

She watched him leave the room and let out a shaky sigh. She knew they were going to have to discuss things and the last thing she wanted to do was talk about it. She just wanted to go to bed and pretend everything was fine.

She looked up as Billie Joe reentered the room carrying a blanket and smiled as he sat back down next to her and pulled it around her shoulders.

"Thanks Billie," she said, gratefully.
"S'okay," he shrugged.

She pulled the blanket tighter around herself and sighed down at the floor.

"Billie," she said, "Are you going to tell your Mom?"

He looked down at his hands.

"I have to, Jessie," he said, "She has to know. Everyone has to know. I'm just hoping she doesn't know already... that he hasn't been doing the same thing to her."
"What will she do?"
"Kick him the hell out, hopefully," said Billie Joe, darkly.

Jessie swallowed. She could feel herself getting panicky again.

"He isn't a bad guy, Billie Joe."

Billie Joe snorted.

"Honest," she protested, "He never used to be like this. He used to be a really nice Dad. He's just been through so much shit. It's changed him. He can't control himself anymore. It's like he just stopped caring."
"Jessie... don't make excuses. There aren't any."
"I'm not making excuses! I'm just... trying to find an explanation... ."
"I don't care what the explanation is. He's beating up a fucking sixteen-year-old girl. No explanation is good enough."

She sighed.

"Billie, you know if he goes... I go. Don't you?"

Billie Joe chewed on his lip. He didn't want that to happen. He dreaded to think about what John would do to Jessie if they moved out.

"It doesn't have to be that way," he said, "You can stay here."
"I can't!" Jessie groaned, "I can't stay here without him. I'm not part of your family and your Mom won't want me hanging around."
"My Mom loves you. She'd gladly kick me out just to make room."

Jessie smiled slightly at that, and Billie Joe smiled too.

"But my Dad wouldn't let me stay here anyway," she sighed, gloomily. "He'll take me with him. Fuck knows where we'd live..."
"He can't make you go."
"I'm only sixteen. He can legally make me do whatever he wants to."
"Not if you tell the law what he's been doing to you."
"But then he'd go to jail."
"It would serve him fucking right."
"I don't want my Dad to go to jail... " she said, sadly, covering her face as she felt her eyes prickle with tears again.

Billie Joe sighed and put a hand on her back.

"Look, Jessie... what do you want to do? Honestly?"

She bit her lip, not knowing how to answer.

"You want to just carry on the way things have been going, being terrified of your Dad and hoping it's all just some kind of phase he's going through?"
"I don't like any of the other options," she admitted.
"Well... I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I can't sit back and have him here doing that. I just wanna call the cops on his ass right now."

She looked at him, fear in her eyes.

"Please don't do that!" she begged him.

He leaned forward and put his hands into his damp hair.

"Jessie... the guy's dangerous."
"Only when he's been drinking. If he stops drinking, he'll be okay again."
"He isn't going to fucking stop drinking!" Billie Joe argued, looking back at her, exasperated.
"But when he's sober he's fine. Sometimes he's even nice to me and he seems like a normal Dad. If he goes to jail, I'll never have that. I won't have any Dad at all. I won't have any family at all. I've already lost my Mom... I don't wanna lose him too."

Billie Joe sighed, not knowing what to say. He felt for her, but he knew she wasn't thinking straight. He couldn't let John get away with this.

"Look," he said, "We'll talk about this tomorrow. We've been over enough tonight and I think we both need to sleep on it all."

She nodded, gratefully.

"But... " Billie Joe continued, "he's out getting pissed right now, so there's no way he's getting back in the house tonight."

Jessie's eyes widened.

"You can't lock him out!" she said, panic in her voice, "He'll go crazy"
"I don't give a shit," said Billie Joe, "He can go as crazy as he fucking likes. He's not coming back here drunk tonight. Alright?"

She nodded, nervously.

He reached out to reassuringly touch her knee and she winced. She'd forgotten she had grazed it falling over. She lifted up the blanket to show him.

"I fell down when I was running away from you," she explained, with a slight smile.
"It's got gravel and shit stuck in it," he said, "It looks fucking painful."
"It does sting a little," she admitted. "But I'll survive. I just want to go to sleep... "
"Not till you've cleaned that up, or it'll get infected, and then I'll feel even worse."
"You don't need to feel bad."
"I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did. I was just so angry and... well, scared..."
"I know," she assured him, "I get it. Let's just forget about it."
"... Okay... " he said gratefully, smiling a little.

She returned the smile, their eyes meeting briefly before he felt awkward and looked away.
"I'd better get something to put on that knee" he said, standing up, "Don't go anywhere."

She smiled as she leaned back against the couch. It amused her how Billie Joe had suddenly abandoned any pretence that he wasn't, underneath it all, a complete softie. She knew she wouldn't be surprised if he was back to his usual self by the morning though.

"I just let your stupid cat in the back door," Billie Joe smirked as he came back into the room, and she grinned, wondering if the sweetness was even going to last until morning.
"Aww, I didn't know he'd been out in the storm," said Jessie, with concern as Billie Joe unloaded his armful of first aid equipment onto the coffee table. "And Jesus, Billie, you look like you're about to perform surgery."

He grinned as he kneeled down on the floor in front of her.

"It's best to be prepared," he said, "And the cat's fine. It just looks a little bit like a drowned rat."
"You know, he was named after a storm," said Jessie, wincing as Billie Joe held an antiseptic wipe to her knee.

"After a storm?" he asked, without looking up.

"Yeah... there was this hurricane called Hurricane Henry. It hit the bay in like '77, when my Mom and Dad were living over in Sausalito. And it caused a fucking wreckage."
"Hey, y'know, I think I can remember a big storm around that time. My Dad had just spent ages building this shed in our backyard, and in the storm our neighbor's tree fell on top of it and flattened it completely."

Billie Joe chuckled a little at the memory.

"He was pretty pissed about it," he said.
"That is pretty bad luck," Jessie smiled, "... Well, the morning after that storm, Henry turned up on the doorstep. They never found where he'd come from, so Mom kept him, and named him after the hurricane."
"That's pretty cool," said Billie Joe, looking up at her, "You've had him a long time."
"Yeah, we have," she said, "He's an old man now. So you should give him some respect."

Billie Joe grinned as he looked back down.

"He's still a damn cat," he said, wiping the gravel out of the graze on Jessie's knee.
"Ah, Billie" she whined, "That really fucking hurts... ."
"Stop being such a wuss," he said, with a grin, briefly raising his eyes to hers.
"You'd be just as wussy if I was doing this to you."
"Ahh, but you wouldn't do this to me," he smirked, raising an eyebrow, "Cause you aren't as sweet as I am."
"Excuse me?" she demanded, "You seem to have a very short memory, Billie Joe. Maybe that's cause of all the drugs, huh?"
"Oh, yeah... that," he said, sheepishly, "Okay, I'll let you have that. But I think the less said about it the better."

Jessie grinned.

"You aren't getting off that easy," she said, "Not after what I went through that night. I'm never gonna let you live it down."
"Yeah, yeah," he smiled, "You smell like lavender... You know, I think its losing it's humor a little now."

She giggled.

"I really don't think it's lost any at all," she said, starting to laugh again.

Billie Joe dramatically dropped his antiseptic wipes into the bin and sat back with his arms folded.
"Okay, you're all done now, so you can fuck off and stop taking the piss..."

She giggled even more at that and he smiled at her. He was pleased that she was laughing again. She didn't laugh often enough in his opinion. He wished he could make her laugh more often than he made her yell at him.

The moment was interrupted by the sound of a key in the front door, and Jessie stopped laughing. She turned to Billie Joe, looking nervous. She prayed that if it was her father, Billie Joe wouldn't say anything. She couldn't face any more confrontation that night.

The thought of being face to face with John again suddenly made Billie Joe feel nervous too. He knew it wasn't the time to have it out with him, not while John was drunk, but he didn't know if he was going to be able to hold back if he started on them first.

The two teenagers breathed sighs of relief when Ollie's head poked around the living room door, a little confused by their wide-eyed expressions.

"Hey guys," she said, "How about this weather, huh, I've just - Jesus, look at you guys!"
"Yeah, we got kinda caught in the storm," said Billie Joe.
"What were you doing out in the storm?"
"Nothing," he said, "Just, y'know... .nothing."

Jessie rolled her eyes at Billie Joe. What the hell kind of explanation was that supposed to be?

"Right... are you two okay?"
"Yeah, we're fine," said Jessie, "We were just, y'know, talking."
"... Okay," said Ollie, warily, "Well, I'm going to bed now. See you two in the morning."
"Goodnight Mom" said Billie Joe, his heart aching a little at the sight of her, and the thought of what John might be doing to her.

"Yeah, goodnight Ollie," said Jessie.

When she'd gone, Jessie let out a sigh and turned to Billie Joe.
"I think I'm gonna turn in too," she said, "I'm exhausted, and I need to get out of these wet clothes.

He nodded.

"Me too," he said, standing up and stretching so that his shirt hitched above his waistband. Jessie looked away.

When they got out into the hallway, Billie Joe went to the front door and slid the bolt across. He turned around to see Jessie watching him nervously.

"I'm not budging on this," he said, keeping his voice low so that his mother wouldn't hear them, "He's not coming in here tonight, so don't try and argue with me."

Jessie bit her lip and nodded, before starting up the stairs, with Billie Joe following behind. When they got to Annie's bedroom door, they stopped and Jessie turned to face Billie Joe. She knew there were things that needed to be said. She wanted to thank him for understanding, for putting their differences aside and for helping her. She wanted to apologize for putting him through it all in the first place. But she didn't know how to say any of it. It was Billie Joe who spoke first.

"You know... I'm sorry about Tre," he said, keeping his voice to a whisper. "I didn't mean to upset you... either of you. I didn't realize you guys were actually... together."

Jessie smiled wistfully. It all seemed trivial now she had to face up to the bigger problems in her life.

"I know," she whispered back. "But I guess if he really wanted to be with me, he wouldn't have listened to you. Right?"

Billie Joe shrugged.

"Tre's a nice guy. He probably just didn't wanna cause arguments, I'll talk to him, see if we can straighten it out."

Jessie shook her head.

"If its gonna happen, we'll work it out on our own," she told him.

Billie Joe nodded, chewing on his lip. A flash of lightening suddenly illuminated the house, making them both jump. They smiled.

"... Thanks for... tonight," Jessie said, awkwardly, after a moment's silence.

Billie Joe smiled, and looked down at the floor.

"That's alright," he said, "I think I owed you one anyway."

She smiled, as he reached out and touched her shoulder.

"Everything's gonna be okay, y'know," he said

She nodded, gratefully, raising her eyes to meet his.

"Thanks Billie Joe," she whispered.
"Good night," he said, with a smile, before heading off across the landing to his room.

It was hard for her to sleep with the night's events replaying in her mind. She lay in bed listening to the storm, which was still raging outside, and watching as the room glowed white with every clap of lightening. Her stomach tightened as she thought of her father, wondering where he was and becoming increasingly restless. After an hour of tossing and turning, she gave in, throwing the covers back in frustration.

She let out a sigh as she padded out of the room and back across the landing, before heading down the stairs, and unlocking the front door.