No One Knows

"To fucking Green Day!" yelled Eddie, before the beer bottles clashed messily together in the back room of 924, joined by a couple of joints that had been rolled in their honor. A raucous cheer of approval followed, as Mike slung an arm around each of his band mates' shoulders.

"I can't believe this," he said, excitedly, with the same grin on his face that had been plastered there the moment they had heard the news, and was yet to take a rest. "A record deal guys, a fucking record deal!"
"Meh, I always knew it would happen," said Tre, brightly, "It was only a matter of time before someone realized what geniuses we are, right?"
"Amen to that," said Billie Joe, nodding at Tre as he took a swig of his beer he was holding in one hand, closely followed by a drag on the joint he was holding in the other.

Jessie grinned as she lent back against the wall. She was thoroughly exhausted by what had probably been the most emotionally draining week of her life, but thoroughly contented that it was over, and that she had made the right decision in coming back. It was becoming obvious that she had missed these guys a good deal more than she had realized.

"Well," said Eddie, raising his drink to the band, "You boys have got a gig at my place any time you want it."
"Seriously?" Billie Joe grinned,
"Sure! I've never actually had anyone decent play. And I sure as hell never had anyone who actually had a record deal play. Bet we could sell a lot of your records that way too."
"Don't count your chicks, Eddie," Billie Joe reminded him, with a smile, "We haven't signed nothin' yet!"
"Ah, c'mon, its in the bag," grinned Eddie, "You aren't worried."

Jessie turned to Billie Joe suddenly.

"Hey," she smiled, "I forgot to say... your Holden Caulfield song... "

Billie Joe chuckled a little around the joint that was hanging out of the side of his mouth. He took it out as he turned to her.

"You like it?"
"It was awesome!" Jessie smiled, "I should get you to read more stuff, y'know."

Billie Joe raised an eyebrow.

"Let's not get carried away," he said, and Jessie laughed.

It wasn't long before the guys were getting drunker, and Jessie was getting sleepier.
"You look beat," Tre commented, taking Jessie's hand and hauling her to her feet.
"Y'know, I kinda am"
"Want me to take you home?"
"S'Okay, Man," said Eddie, "I should be making tracks now too. I'll drop her home. You stay here and celebrate, you sure as hell deserve it."

Returning to the Armstrong house was nerve wracking for Jessie, to say the least. She had no idea whether Ollie was going to want her there, or whether she just felt obliged to have her back out of sympathy, and she had no idea what kind of state she would be in after the break up with her father.

She still had a key to the place, but she felt somewhat strange about using it. Now her father had left, she felt more like a guest than someone who actually lived there, and decided that simply strolling into the house as if nothing had happened was quite out of the question.

Answering Jessie's tentative knock at the door, Ollie gasped.

"Jessie!" she exclaimed, taking in the sight of the nervous girl on the doorstep, "Oh, thank God, Honey, I've been so worried!"

Jessie looked at Ollie's tired and anxious face, feeling the emotion rising in her chest as she was suddenly overcome with guilt over what she and her father had put her through. Ollie had taken them into her home and treated them like family, only to have it all thrown back in her face.

"I'm so sorry, Ollie," said Jessie, tearfully, trying but failing to keep her voice from cracking.
"Jessie... "

Ollie put her arms around her and hugged her tightly, tears forming in her own eyes as the relief surged through her.

"You don't have one single thing to be sorry about," she told her, holding her tightly against herself, "I'm sorry that I didn't see what was going on, Jessie. I'm sorry you had to deal with all this by yourself."

Releasing each other, Ollie put an arm around Jessie's narrow shoulders and led her into the living room. Sitting down on the couch, Ollie took one of Jessie's hands in both of hers and held it in her lap.

"Billie Joe and I were so worried that you wouldn't come back," she said, "We were so worried that you'd think you couldn't. But you know, you always can. You'll always have a home here."
"Really?" Jessie asked, tearfully.
"Of course," Ollie nodded and squeezed Jessie's hand a little, "Always."
Jessie raised her eyes to Ollie's.
"I'm so sorry about Dad," she blurted out, tears suddenly spilling down her cheeks, "I should have told you, I should have warned you... I was just... "
"Scared," said Ollie, "I know, Honey. You don't have to say anything. You've had to cope with something that nobody should have to cope with. But he can't hurt you now."
"Where is he?"
"I'm not sure," Ollie sighed, ruefully.
"He's... he's gonna be so mad at me, Ollie."
"I don't care" she said, firmly, "He isn't touching you. You don't have to see him, Jessie. He doesn't deserve to see you."

Jessie bit her lip and looked at the floor.

"I know," she said, "I know that. I hate him for what he's done and I... I don't wanna see him, he terrifies me, Ollie, but I... "

Jessie put her head in her hands.

"... The thought of never seeing him again terrifies me even more" she admitted, in a small voice, "Cause somewhere in there is my old dad and I just want him back."
"Jessie... " Ollie soothed, putting her arms around her, "I can understand. But he has problems. I know there's good in him, Hon, it's the part I loved, so I understand that better than anyone. But there's no excuse for how he treated you. He needs to find the real John again. And he's not coming near you until he does."

Jessie nodded in acceptance, as Ollie stroked her hair.

"Thank you," she mumbled. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you. I don't know where I'd go."
"It doesn't matter," Ollie soothed, "Cause you do. And you're staying right here with me."

"Where did everybody go?" Mike asked, looking around the small back room at 924, as he noticed for the first time that it had emptied completely. Apart from himself and Billie Joe, that was, who were in the same position in the corner, leaning against the wall, that they'd been in for pretty much the past two hours.

"Beats me," said Billie Joe, unconcerned as he passed Mike another joint.
"How many of these have we had?" Mike smirked, taking it.
"Uhm... " Billie Joe screwed up his nose in mock concentration, "A hundred and fifty three."

Mike gave him a playful nudge, and he laughed.

"Not enough," he corrected, with a grin.

Billie Joe nodded in agreement, before blowing a perfect smoke ring into the already hazy air above them, eliciting an impressed smirk from Mike.

"So, somebody's cheered up from earlier," Mike commented, with an amused smile.

Billie Joe smiled too, picking at the frayed tear in the knee of his jeans.

"Well, it's been a fucking good night," he said, matter-of-factly, "Right?"
"Fuck, yes. A record deal and Jessie," said Mike, "Good news all round"
"Damn right," said Billie Joe, smiling slightly. "I'm... fucking glad she's come back, Mike."
"No shit?" Mike smirked, "You've spent the past week moping about like a wounded puppy. If it had gone on any longer, I might have gotten the wrong idea."

Billie Joe pretended not to notice Mike's sidelong glance and went back to picking his jeans.

"You gonna talk to her about the whole... situation?" Mike prompted.

Billie Joe ran his fingers through his hair, which was damp from the sweaty humidity inside the club.

"I don't know," he said, honestly, "I know I should but... I just don't wanna make everything awkward, y'know? Part of me thinks we should just pretend it never happened and forget the whole thing... "
"Bill," Mike sighed, "That never works. You can't be friends if you don't talk about it, that'll only make it more awkward. You need to make sure you both feel the same way about it."
"But... " Billie mumbled, pathetically, "I don't wanna... "
"You slept together! You can't just pretend it never happened!"
"I guess you're-"

Billie didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before it was punctuated by the sound of smashing glass. Both boys looked up in surprise to see Tre standing in the doorway, the beer bottle he had been holding a second earlier in pieces on the floor.

There was a shocked silence that felt endless, during which Tre and Billie Joe stared at each other in horror, and Mike put his head in his hands.

"What did he just say?" Tre spluttered, eventually.
"Tre," Billie Joe began, pleadingly, feeling the guilt and fear begin to engulf him.
"You slept with her?" Tre demanded, incredulously, "You fucking slept with her?!"
"Tre, please, I - It - It was a one-time thing, and I-"
"And you think that makes it better?!"
"No, but, Tre, please, I'm sorry, I was gonna tell you, but-"
"Like fucking hell you were gonna tell me! You're just sorry I found out, you asshole! I can't fucking believe you!"
"Tre... "
"This whole time... . This whole time! And you let me feel guilty for just liking her?! You let me fucking apologise to you for that?! And you'd already gone and fucked her?! That's what this whole thing was about, right? You just wanted her for yourself, and you couldn't fucking let her decide for herself!"

Billie Joe stood up.

"Tre, man, I swear to God it wasn't like that. I never, ever meant this to happen"
"Fuck you!" Tre yelled, lunging at Billie Joe.

Billie Joe grabbed Tre's wrist to block him and push him backwards, but his reactions were dulled by the dope and the alcohol, and he wasn't fast enough to stop Tre swinging with his other arm, his fist connecting hard with Billie Joe's cheekbone. He cried out as his hand flew to his face, even though that wasn't the place that Tre's punch had hurt him the most.

"Tre! Fuck!" Mike yelled, leaping up and grabbing Tre by the shirt, hauling him away from Billie Joe and standing between his two friends, pushing them apart, "This isn't gonna help!"
"It'll help me feel better!" Tre yelled, "You deserved it, Billie! You knew I liked her, you knew it! You are so fucking out of order! You're supposed to be my fucking friend!"
"I am, Tre! I made a mistake, okay? I'm sorry!"
"You're only sorry now, cause it got you a punch in the face! You were never gonna tell me!"
"I was, Tre, I swear! I was just waiting for the right time!"
"There would never have been a right time!"
"I know!" Billie Joe cried, desperately, "I know... ."

He felt like shit. The hurt and anger in Tre's eyes felt like a knife in the gut. Suddenly he saw himself through Al's eyes, the night they fought over Billie. Wasn't he just the same as Al was now? Was Al's crime really any worse than this? Sure, Jessie wasn't actually Tre's girlfriend, but maybe that was counteracted by the fact that they'd done a whole lot more than shared one drunken kiss.

"Tre... " Billie Joe muttered, on the verge of tears, "I'm so, so fucking sorry. It didn't mean anything... I swear."
"That makes it worse, Billie!" Tre yelled, furiously, "It's worse that you did this to me just for the sake of your own fucking lust! And Jessie! She's goin' through hell right now! She's fragile enough! You think she needs you taking advantage of that?!"

Billie Joe felt a stab of hurt and anger.

"What the fuck Tre?! That's what you think I did?! Do you even know me at all?"
"I'm starting to wonder," Tre spat, "SO you can take your fucking band, and shove it up your goddamn ass!"

Mike's eyes widened in horror.

"Tre!" he practically screamed, "How can you say that! We just got fucking signed!"
"I'm not working with him! You wanna carry on, you can find us a new guitarist!"

Billie Joe covered his face with his hands. This could not be happening.

"Look Tre," shouted Mike, "I get that you're angry. I get that Billie made a mistake. He shouldn't have done it, and you feel betrayed. But it was a one-time moment of insanity and you can see he feels like shit. I'm not kicking him out of the band!"
"Suit yourself, Mike, but one of us is going"
"Tre, I'm not gonna kick you out either. We can work through this!"
"I'm not working through nothing with him!"
"He's my best friend!" Mike yelled, "He was the one who started the band in the first place! He writes our fucking music!"

Tre stared levelly at Mike for a few seconds, before turning and storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Billie Joe let out a shaky breath. He couldn't believe it. That night he had had everything he ever wanted handed to him on a plate, and he had fucked it up. He had taken the plate and thrown it against the god damn wall.

He could hardly bring himself to look at Mike, but the sudden silence in the room was deafening and he longed to break it. Slowly, he raised his head to meet Mike's gaze. Mike sighed in frustration and kicked at the graffiti-decorated wall.

"Well," he said, bitterly, "I don't know about you, but I thought it could've gone better."

It was strange waking up in Annie's room again. But a nice kind of strange, like when you wake up and a fraction of a second passes before you remember its your birthday. Jessie hadn't slept so well in a long time. She had become used to the hustle and bustle of the hostel in San Francisco, and it was a relief to get through a night without being woken by the Italian couple in the room next door engaging in their wild lovers' tiffs, or their equally passionate make up sessions, and without drunken students stumbling down the hallway after a night out at the Mission District liquefying their insides.

Downstairs, she found a note from Ollie telling her and Billie Joe that she had gone to the restaurant and would be back that afternoon. Looking at the clock, she realized that afternoon was only ten minutes away anyway.

After killing some time watching TV with Henry, who seemed pleased she was back, having gotten over his initial sulk over her leaving him in the first place, Jessie decided it was plenty late enough to wake up Billie Joe. She hadn't gotten to talk to him much the night before, and she had to admit that she had missed his company that week.

Remembering that he was the laziest person she knew, she made them both coffee to soften the blow, before creeping up to his room and knocking softly no the door.
No answer.

"Billie?" she called.

No answer.

Jessie rolled her eyes and slowly pushed open the door. Billie Joe was lying on his bed, face down and spread out like a starfish, his sheets tangled around him. She couldn't really see much aside from the disheveled blue hair sticking out one end, a pair of feet sticking out the other, and an arm dangling off the side of the mattress, almost to the floor.

"Uh... Billie?"

She smiled, in amusement, stepping over the familiar clutter on his floor to get to his bed, before lifting her foot to give him a tentative poke.

"Mmmughuh" he mumbled, moving his arm back into the bed and pulling the covers tighter around himself.
"Billie," Jessie frowned, impatiently. "Wake up, lazy-ass"
"Huh?"
"It's morning. Well, afternoon. And I'm bored. I wanted someone to talk to."
"Ugh... fucking... fucking," Billie Joe mumbled, grumpily.
"Thanks for the bulletin," Jessie smirked, putting the coffee on the floor and slumping onto the end of the bed. He groaned as the mattress shook.
"What time is it?"
"About one, I think. I made coffee."
"You did?" he muttered, in surprise.
"Uh huh."

Well, that, he could get used to.

He lifted his head as if it was made of lead and hauled himself into a sitting position, rubbing his messy hair with one hand. Then he looked at Jessie like he deserved a medal.

"Billie!" she exclaimed in surprise, "What did you do to your cheek?"

He blinked sleepily in confusion, before the memory of the night before came back to him and he groaned, covering his face with his hands. Thinking of the hatred he had seen in Tre's eyes made him feel sick.

"Billie..?"

He sighed. He really wasn't in any state of mind to discuss it with Jessie right then.

"I just... I had a lot to drink last night. I probably walked into something. I don't really remember."

Jessie looked at him sceptically as she passed him his coffee.

"Thanks," he said, gratefully, nestling the cup between his hands and leaning back against the wall next to Jessie.
"You know, you really are a terrible liar," she said, seriously, raising her eyebrows, "Who'd you fight with?"
"Jessie... I don't wanna talk about it."
"You were in a great mood when I left last night, everyone was! What did you find to fight about?"
"Jessie... " Billie Joe groaned, giving in, "I fought with Tre, okay? Or rather, he fought with me. Turns out he packs a pretty good punch when he wants."

Jessie's eyes widened.

"Tre did this to you?" she asked, in disbelief. Tre seemed too gentle to do anything of the sort. "Why the fuck would he... ."

Her voice trailed off as she caught Billie Joe's eye, and she felt a blush rising in her cheeks as she realized what was going on.

"Shit," she whispered.
"Yeah," Billie Joe whispered back, taking a sip of his coffee.
"He's really mad at us?"
"No, just at me, I think."
"Why just at you?"
"He thinks I... "

Billie Joe bit his lip. Nothing had been more awkward to talk about than this. He couldn't even look at her as he spoke.

"He thinks I took advantage of you."
"What?!"

Billie Joe rested his forehead on the warm rim of his coffee cup.

"Jessie ... I didn't ... did I?"
"Don't be such a jackass"

Billie Joe smirked a little at her response.

"Okay," he said, "Well, anyway, I wasn't thinking of Tre, and I should have done. He liked you... likes you... a lot."
"Then he shouldn't have fucking dumped me," Jessie reminded him, bitterly.
"He only did that cause of me. Remember?"

Jessie sighed.

"Hmm," she muttered, "Now you mention it, the punch makes more sense."
"Gee, that helps a whole lot," said Billie Joe, rolling his eyes.
"He'll come round. He was drunk and stoned. He'll realise soon enough that what happened was... ."

She didn't know how to finish her sentence. She still had no idea what it was herself. Stupid? Meaningless? A mistake?

"... .An inventive way of keeping from kicking the living shit out of each other?" Billie Joe suggested, raising an eyebrow.

Jessie smiled, shyly, looking down at her coffee.

"Exactly," she said, her eyes briefly meeting his again.
"Well, I hope so," said Billie Joe, with a sigh. "We just got our break and then this happens... fucking typical."
"He won't throw a record deal away over this," said Jessie, firmly, "You have to stick together now, you guys. You're too damn good to give it up."

Billie Joe smiled, weakly, hoping she was right.

"I'm serious," Jessie said, earnestly, "Those songs you wrote, the new ones... I don't know how you do it. I'm jealous as fuck, Billie. You have a crazy talent for that stuff."
"Thanks." Billie Joe smiled, awkwardly, feeling a warm flutter of pride in his stomach, but almost shy at the same time. Jessie smiled as she watched him blush.

"Anyway," said Billie Joe quietly, "Turns out I'm not the only one that can write lyrics... huh?"

Jessie looked down.

"I didn't know how to write it any other way," she said, softly, "I just... ah, I don't know. I thought it might... soften the blow?"
"It didn't," said Billie Joe quietly, "It still made me feel like shit"

Jessie bit her lip.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I know, but... you shouldn't be"
"Then nor should you."
"Let's just say... It wasn't our fault, and leave it as that," Billie Joe smirked.
"I didn't do it," Jessie grinned.
"It was like that when I got there," he added, and Jessie giggled.
"Anyway," smiled Billie Joe, "I liked your little rhyme. Mind if I keep it? I might find some music for it some day"
"Sure," Jessie smiled, though she didn't see why. She knew he could come up with something fifty times better right off the top of his head if he wanted to.

They drank their coffee in silence for a few minutes, before Billie Joe set his cup down and reached over to the floor, grabbing a t-shirt and pulling it over his head. Suddenly noticing he was only half dressed had made him self-conscious. Then he leaned back against the wall and turned to look at Jessie.

"Jessie... I'm really sorry about your Dad. You know I hate him, but, I know he's your Dad and... this whole thing must be shit for you."
"Yeah," she said, her voice quiet, "It is shit. But I'll get through it."
"And... you still have me and Mom."
"... I know," Jessie nodded, feeling warm.
"You didn't have to leave."
"... I did. I needed it right then."
"Where did you go? What did you do?"

Jessie bit her lip. She had been putting the whole experience out of her mind since she got back, and he hadn't volunteered any information about it to anybody. She could feel a pang of pain in her chest now she thought about it again, and Billie Joe could see it from the look on her face.

"... Jessie?"

She looked up at him, into his concerned eyes, then dropped her gaze back to her hands.

"I went to San Francisco," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "Because I... I decided I wanted to try and trace my Mom."

Billie Joe's eyes widened in surprise. Suddenly Jessie's departure made a lot more sense. He remembered her saying she had no plans to try and find her again, but he supposed that pretty much losing her Dad would be enough to push her to finding the only other family she had left.

"Oh my God... " he breathed, quietly, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Jessie bit her lip and shrugged.

"I wasn't sure whether I was gonna go through with it till I got there. And I haven't wanted to talk about it... it was... "

Jessie took a breath and looked out of the window. It was all so incredibly hard to put into words. Billie Joe watched her, feeling anxious. He was starting to wish he hadn't asked. He could see she was getting upset. Was this really any of his business anyway?

"It's okay, if you don't wanna tell me" he said, quietly, "I mean, I understand. But I think it's cool you're trying to trace her. I think it's a good idea. It must be pretty weird though... . I mean... If you ever wanna, like, talk about it or anything, then-"
"Billie," said Jessie, with a small sigh, "I have traced her. But it was useless. She died. A couple of months back. So... y'know... I was too late."

Billie Joe swallowed. He was shocked, and overcome with feeling. He just couldn't believe this could happen to Jessie. He didn't think life could have gotten any worse for her, and now she had lost a parent? For a long moment he couldn't speak, because he had no idea what to say. What was there to say? Nothing he said was going to make any difference, he knew that well enough himself.

Reaching out, he touched Jessie's hand and she looked up. Seeing the sorrow in his eyes she realized it was more of a relief to tell someone than she had expected. Then he surprised her by scooting closer and wrapping his arms around her. Her heartbeat quickened as he tightened his hug, and she spoke up.

"It's okay, Billie" she said, "I'm fine, honest, I'm fine."

He didn't say anything, and he didn't move either.

"I didn't even know her," she said, her voice wavering slightly. "I can't be upset about someone dying if I didn't even know them"

She found herself relaxing into him slightly, allowing herself to feel comforted. It felt good to have somebody hold her. Sometimes, you just need somebody to do it, and she hadn't realized how much she had. She rested her head against his shoulder.

"I mean, I hadn't seen her since I was four" she continued, "It wasn't like I had a mother. It wasn't like she was going to be the same, anyway, I probably would just have gotten disappointed when she was different. Its disappointing, sure, but I... ."

Jessie was surprised to feel her eyes prickle with tears, and she buried her face into Billie Joe's shirt to hide them. Why was she feeling like this now, all of a sudden? She had dealt with it so well up until now.

Billie Joe wordlessly rested his chin on the top of her head. He knew it was harder for her than she was letting on. He knew she was suppressing it all and hoping it would go away. And he knew nothing he said was going to make any difference. He knew, because he had been there himself.

Jessie felt a sob welling up in her chest. She tried to force it back down, but the feel of his fingers running through her hair caused her to give in, and she let it out as he held her tighter. And she couldn't help thinking how strange it was that she could have been so wrong about her own feelings. She had thought she was fine about the whole thing, and all it took was for someone to put their arms around her and here she was, twenty four hours later, crying for the first time.

They didn't speak about what happened. They both knew there was nothing to say. She didn't thank Billie Joe for the way he had comforted her, because they both knew she appreciated it more than she could say. It felt good to get the emotion out of her system, and she found herself feeling lighter and happier as the afternoon wore on. It was nice to have a lazy Sunday doing nothing. They wasted the entire day playing video games and watching cartoons, and it felt good.

It was a surprise when she got into bed and found she couldn't sleep again. She tossed and turned, trying to rid her mind of the nagging thoughts that refused to let her rest. Every time she closed her eyes, her thoughts drifted back to San Francisco, and she was sitting in Andie's office again, listening to stories about her mother. It was as if she had taken the lid off a can of feelings and now she couldn't get it back on again. She felt tears of frustration form in her eyes, at the unfairness of it all. All she had wanted was some answers, and now she was never going to know. She had come so close to finding out, but now she never would.

Her pillow became damp with tears and she sat up in frustration, throwing the covers back and wiping her eyes. She looked over at the door. The strip of light that had been visible underneath it had gone, so she knew everyone had gone to bed. Billie Joe was always last. Probably because he slept for most of the day. She figured he probably wouldn't have gotten to sleep yet. He hadn't been in bed for that long. Standing up from the bed, she opened the door, feeling her way across the landing with her hand on the wall as she padded across to Billie Joe's room, and pushed open the door.

He had been asleep really. It never took him long. He was one of those people that could get completely comatose in seconds if he was tired enough, and he was. He was drifting into deep sleep when he heard his door creak open, and it roused him slightly. Opening one eye, he squinted through the darkness to see a figure crossing the room in front of him.

"Who's that?" he whispered.

It was a dumb question, really. It was only going to be his Mom or Jessie, and he could tell by the outline of the long, tangled hair that it wasn't his mother.

Jessie didn't say anything. She was still feeling a little tearful, and she didn't want him to notice. She wasn't in the mood for a heart to heart right then, she just wanted the company. Billie Joe was surprised to say the least as she clambered onto the bed and slid under the covers next to him.

"Uh... .hi?" he whispered.
"Hi," she whispered back, laying her head on the pillow next to his.
"... What's up?"

Jessie sighed a little, moving closer to him. Her hand brushed his stomach as she curled her arm around his waist, resting just above his hip bone.

"I just needed a hug," she whispered.
"Oh... okay... " he whispered back, allowing her to move closer as she rested her head in the crook of his arm. His heartbeat quickened at the feel of her hand on his bare skin. He couldn't help wondering if this was really a good idea, remembering what had happened the last time they were together like this. But Jessie wasn't worried. Just the comfort of having someone warm and friendly holding her was making her sleepy.

Billie Joe lay still and listened to Jessie's breathing become more regular. It felt good that he could make her feel better, even by doing such a tiny thing. He turned his head and breathed in the familiar scent of her hair.

"Jessie," he whispered.
"Mmhm... " she mumbled, sleepily.
"You know when you went away... "
"Mmm... ."
"I... kind of missed you... you know."

Jessie smiled to herself in the darkness, a warm feeling floating up from her toes.
"... I sort of missed you a little too," she whispered.