No One Knows

After being shaken awake and kicked out of bed at what was, in his own opinion, a highly antisocial hour by Jessie, Billie Joe decided to fight the urge to crawl back into his own bed and sleep for the rest of the morning, and round up his other band members for a morning of practice at the practice space Andy had given them to use at Lookout.

Jessie went back to sleep. First day of the summer vacation definitely meant she should sleep as late as possible, especially after the week she'd had, not to mention the late night pillow talk with Billie Joe. She didn't really like to admit to herself how nice he was to sleep with, but the bed did feel cold and empty after she'd reluctantly pushed him out of it, not wanting to run the risk of Ollie realizing they had spent the night together.

Tre and Mike were already on their third beer each by the time Billie Joe got to the studios, and it was obvious from the outset that this practice was not going to be an especially productive one. For a start, they had decided to switch instruments, which meant Mike throwing the drumsticks up in the air and then trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to catch them again and Tre picking out Three Blind Mice on Mike's bass. At least, that was what it was apparently supposed to sound like.

"I've fucking got it! Listen!" he exclaimed, triumphantly, as Billie Joe opened a can of his own, deciding it was probably the only way his band mates were going to make any sense that morning.

"Aren't we starting a little early on this today?" he questioned, putting his can to his lips.
"It was your idea to get our asses down here at this time," Mike pointed out, as he missed his drumstick and it crashed onto the snare.

Billie Joe smirked.

"I was kind of meaning the beer," he said.
"Nah," said Tre, "I hadn't drunk anything for ages. Mike and I were just saying we should head down to Gilman Street tomorrow night. Sound good?"
"Yeah," said Billie Joe, smiling, surprised at Tre's offhand invitation and deciding it must be the beer talking because he hadn't been expecting Tre to want him to come on any nights out for a while.

Before they started, Billie Joe filled them in on Jessie's experience with John the day before, and they were as relieved to hear that he had finally been reported to the police as Billie Joe had been. He felt a little awkward even mentioning Jessie's name in front of Tre, but he didn't want to be accused of keeping anything from him, so he just avoided his eyes while he told them what happened.

"Eddie's a fucking dude," said Tre, firmly, pushing Mike out of the way of the drum set and sitting down, "I mean, I really didn't think she was going to be persuaded to report him."
"Me either," said Billie Joe, "Eddie's obviously more persuasive than we are."
"Well, he doesn't exactly take any shit, does he?" Mike smiled, "It must've been tough for Jessie though. I mean, what happens if he gets convicted of domestic abuse or whatever?"

Billie Joe shrugged.

"I dunno," he said, "Hopefully something bad, though."
"Will he go to jail for it?" Tre asked.
"He should be in jail," said Mike, darkly,
"Imagine having your Dad in jail though," said Tre, shaking his head, "I mean... I know he's a bastard but having one parent dead and the other locked up... "

Billie Joe swallowed, looking down as he absently picked at his guitar strings. He didn't like to think about how hard it would be for Jessie. He just wanted her to be safe.

Back at the Armstrongs', Jessie was staring at the phone. In one hand she held the receiver, and in the other, she held the papers that Andie had given her back in San Francisco, the one that showed the telephone number of Richard Farrow.

She'd been frozen in the same position for a good ten minutes, with Ollie occasionally peering round the door to see if she'd finished mentally preparing herself yet and actually begun to dial. Ollie had offered to sit with her while she made the call, but Jessie had told her she didn't think she'd be able to do it with anyone listening. It turned out she couldn't do it without anyone listening either.

What the hell was she supposed to say? There were so many things she needed to ask this total stranger, that she didn't have the faintest idea where she should begin. It wasn't a normal situation, calling up the husband of your estranged late mother, and introducing yourself as the long lost stepdaughter he'd never met. She didn't have a strategy worked out for a time like this.

"You know what?" smiled Ollie, leaning against the door frame, "I think this is one of these things that you're never gonna feel ready for. I know its none of my business, but I think you're just gonna have to bite the bullet."

Jessie nodded, with a sigh.

"I think you're right," she said.

When a man answered, her mind went so blank that she couldn't even remember her own name. She just opened and closed her mouth a few times, wishing that some kind of sound would come out before he hung up on her and she had to build up the courage to call him all over again.

"Hello?....Is anyone there?"
"Uh... " she stammered, finally, "I'm - this is- Jessie."
"Jessie?"
"Um, Jessica Perrone, I mean. I'm... "
"Oh my God," he said, his voice softening, "You're Liz's daughter, Jessie... "
"I- Yeah."

There was a brief silence on the line, and she supposed his mind had gone blank too, but he seemed to get it together faster than she did.

"I'm really glad you called, Jessie. I didn't know whether you would. But I spoke to the lady at social services and she said you'd been trying to trace your Mom and... I'm so sorry."

Jessie bit her lip.

"I'm - I'm really sorry too," she said, eventually, "I mean... the accident... its awful... it must be awful for you."
"It is awful," he said, softly, "It's a tragedy. It still hasn't really hit us yet, I don't think... it's very hard to take."

Jessie nodded, then realized he couldn't see her.

"We'd - my son and I - we'd really like to meet you, Jessie," said Richard, after a pause, "I mean, I know you didn't get a chance to meet Liz, and it's... it seems a cruel twist of fate that this had to happen when it did. But we'd like to meet you and... we'll try and answer any questions you have... . Or anything you want to know."
"Thank you," said Jessie, nervously, "I'd- I'd like to meet you too."
"And she left you the place on Transfer Avenue, right?"
"Oh - yeah."

She hadn't been planning on bringing that up. She hadn't wanted it to seem like she was calling out of interest in her inheritance, because that couldn't be further from the truth.

"You know what you want to do with it?"
"I... hadn't really thought about it, to be honest. It was a pretty big shock. But a nice one. Is there anyone living in it?"
"Yeah, there are some students renting it out right now"
"Well... I don't wanna kick anyone out by selling it or whatever."
"You could sell it onto another agent so they could take it over? I don't expect you'd be able to run the place living so far away. You're up in San Francisco right?"
"Berkeley."
"It's a nice place."
"I know."
"So... are you able to get down here to visit us... we can come up to you if you'd rather it... "
"No," said Jessie quickly, the thought of them coming to visit somehow even scarier than the thought of her going there, "That's okay. I'm sure I'll be able to get someone to give me a ride."

Billie Joe's suspicions that they weren't about to have the most productive of practices had been right, but he didn't care in the slightest, because it was the most enjoyable practice they'd had since before Jessie left for San Francisco. He hoped the warmth that was resurfacing in Tre was due to more than just all the beer and pot he'd had that morning, because hanging out with the guys and having a good time had shown him that he'd missed times like that so much more than he'd realized.

Coming back to the house after practice, a little less than sober, he took his guitar out into the backyard and settled on the grass, enjoying the sun and the new calm that had settled inside of him. He hadn't been there long, when he looked up to see Jessie coming out of the back door of the house and he smiled a little as she crossed the grass towards him. She was wearing a yellow sun dress that clung to her figure in places, making Billie Joe's eyes cling to it in places as well.

"Hey Stinky," he muttered, dragging his eyes back to his guitar, "Listen to this."

Jessie took a seat on the grass next to him and listened as he played the guitar riff he'd just picked out moments earlier.

"That sounds cool," she said, honestly, "Are you gonna make it into anything?"

He shrugged.

"Maybe," he said, "We had practice this morning?"
"How was it?" Jessie prompted, scratching at a mosquito bite on her leg.
"Good," he smiled, setting his guitar down on the grass and resting his head on his folded arms, "Didn't really do much. Just kinda goofed around. Bit stoned, to be honest."

Jessie chuckled a little, picking a daisy from the grass and beginning to pull off its petals, one by one.

"How's Tre?" she asked, with concern in her voice.
"He was okay. He was a little drunk when I arrived so... I don't know if it was just that but... he was... almost normal. He even asked if I wanted to go down Gilman's tomorrow night."
"Seriously?"

Jessie felt a rush of relief.

Billie Joe nodded.

"You wanna come with?"
"Heh, I don't think so. I mean, I don't hate Gilman Street as much as I did, but still don't think I could hang out there by choice."

Billie Joe raised an eyebrow.

"Not even with all your new punk knowledge?"
"Yeah," said Jessie, before launching into a rendition of the Operation Ivy song and making him laugh out loud.
"You're a fast learner," he smiled, lying back on the grass and closing his eyes.
"As always."

Jessie smiled, then reached over and picked up a dirty soccer ball that was lying on the grass nearby and began tossing it in the air and catching it again.

"I didn't know you played soccer."

Billie Joe opened one eye.

"I can play soccer. I don't actively play it in the competitive sense of the word."

Jessie grinned.

"You any good?"
"I'm fucking incredible," Billie Joe answered, seriously, keeping his face straight and his eyes closed.

Jessie laughed.

"Come on then," she said, standing up, "Let's see what you can do."
"Chah, no way," he smiled, without moving, "I am way too stoned - and it is way too hot - for any kinda physical exercise today."

Jessie rolled her eyes, slowly dribbling the ball in a circle around him with her foot.

"Hey," she said, suddenly, "I called Richard Farrow while you were out."

Billie Joe opened his eyes and lifted his head.

"You did?"
She nodded, still kicking the ball.

"... And?"
"And he seemed okay. Pretty normal, I mean. He seemed keen on meeting me... I said I'd go down to Santa Barbara again so I could see him."
"That's great," smiled Billie Joe, "When?"
"I said I'd call him again... when I knew... ."
"... when I could take you," Billie Joe finished, with a grin.

Jessie smiled, sheepishly,

"Do you mind?" she asked, "I know it's a long way, I can just take the bus if you don't wanna-"
"Jessie," Billie Joe cut her off, "Of course I don't mind. You know you don't even have to ask."

"I can't believe you actually own a house," said Freddy, shaking his head as he looked down at the ice cubes floating in his coke. He gave them another stir with his straw.

It was late afternoon, and he and Jessie were cooling off in the shade outside an ice cream place down at the marina, while she filled him in on the latest developments in her increasingly dramatic life.

"Can you even imagine how good this would be for parties?!"

Jessie giggled.

"Sure. If you can hire a bus to drive everyone down there. It's a long walk home," Jessie pointed out, "Nah, I can't keep it, Freddy. I mean, I have no use for it at all. I don't wanna live all the way down there."
"If you sell it, you're gonna be fucking loaded," Freddy grinned, "I mean, I'm no realtor, but I'm willing to bet that places in Santa Barbara don't come cheap."
"You think?"
"Sure. It's, like, a pretty little beachy-palm-tree-touristy town right?"

Jessie giggled a little at the edge of disgust in his voice.

"Yeah, I guess," she replied.
"I'm thinking at least 500, 000 bucks. Easy."

Jessie's eyes widened.

"Are you fucking serious?!"
"What were you expecting?"
"I don't know!... I... just... Don't say big amounts of money to me like that without warning! Jesus!"

Ferddy smirked.

"So what're you gonna do with it?"
"I don't know," Jessie shrugged, heart still pounding at the thought of actually owning so much money. It was kind of frightening. She'd never had money in her whole life. "Stick it somewhere safe until I wanna get a place of my own, I guess."
"Oh come... the fuck... on," said Freddy, slamming his paper cup of ice down onto the table in front of her, "You can't be serious. You aren't tempted to spend any of it?!"

Jessie smiled.
"Okay, what would you do with it?"

He leaned back in his seat, looking thoughtful.

"Well," he began, "I'd move outta my folks' place for one. And I guess I'd get a car. Maybe a motorbike too, and... "

Jessie shook her head.

"I'm not blowing it Freddy," she said, firmly, "I mean, Mom left me this to set me up, y'know? I feel I should use it responsibly."
"I was afraid you were gonna look at it that way."
"But actually," Jessie said, after a thoughtful pause, leaning forward conspiratorially and leaning on the table, "There was one thing I was thinking about"
"Yeah?"
"How much does a PA system cost?"

Freddy quirked an eyebrow.

"You mean, like, amplifiers and shit? For a band?"

Jessie nodded.

"Depends on size... quality... "
"Okay, how much for one you can fit in the back of a van that's decent enough for a little punk band to use to tour clubs?"

Recognition crossed Freddy's face.

"You're gonna buy Billie Joe a PA?" he asked, in surprise, "Are you serious?"
"I owe him a lot," said Jessie, quietly, "I mean... he's been an awesome friend to me these past few weeks and he's had to put up a lot of shit he didn't need. And it's not just him, it's Mike and Tre. They're great guys, and they're really good at what they do and... they deserve to go touring. They really want it bad... they just can't afford the equipment right now."

Freddie smiled.

"They're gonna fucking love you."
"Like I said, I owe it to them. Especially Billie. I don't know what I'd have done without him lately. So... how much?"
"I'm not really an expert on these things. I would imagine, like, five hundred bucks? Probably less though."
"You see, I take that out of the money I get from the house, I won't even miss it," said Jessie, triumphantly, "What d'you think?"

Freddie grinned.

"I think it's a fucking great idea."

Jessie got home to a scrawled note from Billie Joe, telling her Ollie had dragged him down to the restaurant because they were short staffed again. Instead of hanging around the house waiting for them to get back, Jessie decided to head over there herself. She knew he had to be pissed that he was being forced to help out again, so she thought letting him know her plans for the money might cheer him up.

Arriving at the restaurant, Jessie headed straight through to the kitchen, where she found Billie Joe looking about as pissed off as expected, whilst being ordered about by Laura, the waitress. He looked up in surprise when Jessie walked in.

"Didn't expect to see you here," he said, eyebrows raised as he looked up from what he was doing.

Jessie grinned at the sight of him in his green apron and checkered chef's pants.

"Well," she smiled, teasingly, "Don't you look dashing?"

He smirked at her.

"Don't even... " he muttered, going back to poking some bacon around the grill pan with an unimpressed look on his face, "Laura wouldn't let my jeans into the kitchen. She said they were unhygienic."

Jessie laughed, looking over at Laura, who was looking thoroughly entertained by Billie Joe's grumbling.

"Y'know, I think I'm actually gonna have to agree with her," Jessie smiled.
"Exactly!" grinned Laura, holding up her hands, "I don't want any of your grungy Gilman Street slime all over the kitchen, thank you."
"I do wash them now and again, y'know," Billie Joe muttered, "You probably just like looking at my ass in all my chef gear."

Laura laughed, rather too heartily for his liking.

"Sorry, darling," she said, getting her breath, "But have you seen our new barman? I'm having trouble focusing on anything today, even your ass. No, we just drag you in here for your electric personality and uplifting conversation."

Jessie grinned, as Billie Joe turned away from the grill pan and pointed his spatula at Laura.

"You should be grateful I'm here at all," he demanded, "And by the way, I don't see the fucking funny side in forcing a vegetarian to cook hacked-up pig flesh."
"And we're very appreciative," said Laura dryly, grinning at Jessie as she headed towards the door.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Billie Joe asked, distracting Jessie's attention from trying to get a look at the barman through the doors Laura had walked out of. She grinned.
"I just wanted to talk to you about something."
"Okay... " he prompted, turning back to his bacon.
"About my house. Like, what to do with it, I mean. I know I'm gonna sell it but... it's difficult to know what to do with the money."
"My heart bleeds."
"I know. And you keep complaining about the band. I mean, your equipment's shit-"
"This conversation's cheering me up great so far-"
"Will you shut up for two fucking minutes?!... . Thank you. Jesus Christ. Anyway, I decided I don't need all this money. And I'd like to help you out. So I'm gonna spend some of it on a PA for you guys."

Billie Joe paused, but continued to stare down at the grill pan. He really hadn't seen that coming.

"You... you can't buy us... Jessie... "
"Listen," she said, "I'm serious. I really want to help you guys. You deserve to go off and tour and stuff and... I want to pay you back for everything you've done for me.".

Billie Joe put down his spatula and turned to face her.

"Jessie," he said, softly, at a loss for words, "I've - I haven't even done anything... you shouldn't feel you have to do this."
"I want to," she insisted, "And you have done something. You've... you've been a really good friend to me, Billie. I don't know how I'd have gotten through all this without you being there."

Her words gave him a surge of warmth right throughout his body. It meant everything to him that she appreciated him so much. He just didn't know if he could accept her mother's money. It seemed wrong.

"Jess," he said, "This is an amazing gesture. And I appreciate it... so much. But I just feel... this isn't what you're supposed to do with it... y'know?"
"This isn't about band equipment for me," Jessie pointed out, looking down at the floor, "This is about saying thank you to a friend. To three friends."

Billie Joe folded his arms across his chest and smiled down at his shoelaces.

"If it helps you," Jessie suggested, "We'll call it a late birthday present."

Billie Joe chuckled.

"My birthday was ages ago."
"Well... a really late birthday present."
"How about we just call it a loan?"
"Sure, but only if I'm allowed to forget you ever owed me anything."

He shook his head, smiling broadly.

"You've made up your mind... haven't you?"

She nodded, fiercely. Billie Joe sighed, looking at her straight, his green eyes soft with emotion.

"C'mere," he smiled, taking a step towards her.

She smiled too, as she felt his hands in hers.

"You didn't have to do anything to thank me," he said, softly, "But... I appreciate this more than you know. This is just... fucking awesome, Jess. Thank you."
"You're welcome," she said, as he slid his arms around her and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back, holding loosely to the back of his shirt, and he held her for a moment before he released her slowly, his lips brushing her cheek as she turned her head, before he kissed her briefly, sweetly, on the lips.

She started to pull back away, nervously avoiding his eyes, avoiding the unpredictability of being in such close proximity to him, but he slid his fingers into her hair and leaned back in towards her, tilting his head and placing his mouth on hers again.

Why was he doing this, he asked himself, and why was she letting him? They weren't supposed to be doing this. It was almost as if, because they both had as little self-control as each other, they both considered themselves to be blameless, rather than equally to blame.

The sound of the swing doors opening, thankfully, interrupted their moment of guilty pleasure before it began and the pair jumped apart just as Laura came back around the corner.

"... What are you guys doing?" she asked, eyeing their guilty faces.

Billie Joe tried to speak, but found his voice got stuck. He cleared his throat.

"We were talking... about... "
"PA systems," Jessie finished for him, relieved at her own inspiration.
"What the fuck's a... . hmm, never mind," said Laura, folding her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes in suspicion as she glanced between the two flushed faces and the two pairs of eyes that were managing to look anywhere but at each other. She smirked in amusement,
"Billie Joe?"

He looked up at Laura, nervously biting his bottom lip.

"Your hacked-up pig flesh is burning."