No One Knows

"You look beat. Storm keep you awake last night?"

Jessie broke out of her trance to look at Eddie, who was sitting on the counter swigging from a bottle of Coke, amused by the fact she'd been lost in a daydream for the past ten minutes.

"Yeah," she said, "I didn't sleep too well. Is it okay if I finish up early today? I said I'd go meet Billie and see their new studio and stuff."
"Yeah, I think I work you hard enough as it is," Eddie smiled, sliding off the counter to serve a customer, when it became obvious that Jessie wasn't going to move.

After he'd put the money in the till, he leaned over on his elbows and said,

"Billie Joe's become a proper little sidekick lately, huh?"

Jessie raised an eyebrow.

"How d'you mean?"
"I mean... you seem to be spending a lot of time together."
"I told you we're friends now. And we live together. We're bound to spend time together."
"Uh huh," smirked Eddie, "...Wanna know what I think?"
"Nope," said Jessie, "But I'm sure you're gonna tell me."
"I think somebody has a crush on somebody."

To Jessie's annoyance, she felt herself blushing.

"Don't be such a jackass. Nobody has a crush on anybody. Except for you. On yourself."
"Ooh, great comeback," Eddie grinned, teasingly.
"Shut up."
"Starlit night, the moon is shining bright, you're the one that I neeeeeeeeed!"
"Shut up!"

He laughed,

"Hey," he said, "I can't help that it's catchy."

Stepping into the studio that Green Day were using at Lookout Records' Berkeley headquarters, Jessie was immediately accosted by both Tre and Mike, both eager to see her after finding out about her generous plans to use her inheritance for their band equipment. Jessie laughed as she was pulled into an excitable group hug and crushed from both directions.

"You really fucking rock, Jessie, you know that?" Mike grinned, as he let her go.
"Ahh, so do you guys," she smiled, "There's no point all that money sitting there when you guys need it to get off the ground."
"You still rule," grinned Tre, pulling her closer and kissing her cheek. Jessie blushed.

Billie Joe looked away, feeling his stomach tighten at the sight of Tre with his arms around Jessie. He took a seat on the floor and began to tune his guitar, ignoring the excited discussion that was taking place a few feet away.

"Come see my new cymbals," Tre demanded, pulling Jessie across the room with a grin.
"Are they different to your old cymbals?" she wondered aloud.
"Of course," Tre replied, lightly, "They aren't all beaten up and they sound sexy as fuck. Wanna play?"
"I've never played drums before," Jessie smiled,
"That's okay, I'll teach you... "

Mike took a seat next to Billie Joe, watching him tighten his strings with slightly more force than was necessary, as Tre and Jessie somehow both squeezed onto the drum stool and began to play very, very badly, laughing all the time.

"You okay, Bill?" Mike inquired, raising an eyebrow.
Billie Joe glanced up at him.
"Of course I'm okay. What do I have to not be okay about?"
"I was only asking, man." Mike frowned.

Billie Joe sighed.

"Sorry," he said, "I... I was just thinking about something else, that's all."
"Are you pissed off that Tre's getting on better with Jessie than he is with you?"

Billie Joe set his guitar down.

"Kinda, I guess... "
"I know it seems kinda unfair but... it's only cause he was better friends with you before it happened. You know that, right? And you know how he feels about Jessie."
"Yeah... I know," Billie Joe said, guiltily, avoiding Mike's eyes.
"So it's good that they're getting on. Maybe if they get back together everything'll be cool again"
"Yeah. That'd be great," said Billie Joe, trying not to grimace.

Why was he feeling jealous? He never got jealous. And it wasn't like he had anything to be jealous about. Jessie didn't want to be with Tre anymore. She'd told him that. He'd been the one getting goodnight kisses last night. He smiled a little at the memory and told himself to quit worrying.

He noticed Mike watching him out of the corner of his eye, and saw the suspicion in his eyes.

"Billie," he said, in a low voice, "You have been keeping that promise you made, haven't you?"

He cleared his throat.

"What promise?"
"You know what promise"
"I don't think I made a promise... "
"Billie Joe!" Mike hissed, "You fucking... "
"I know, I know!" he hissed back, "It's under control... okay?"
"What the fuck is your idea of 'under control'? If you guys are sleeping together again-"
"We aren't!" Billie Joe insisted, "We aren't, okay? Just drop it, Mike."

Mike scowled.

"Everything is starting to come together again now Billie. Please, please don't fuck this up... "

Billie Joe sighed, and looked down at his guitar.

"Ok," he said, quietly, "I'm sorry."

Looking over at Tre again, he watched the way his eyes lit up as they flickered over Jessie's face, and the way he smiled at her as she attacked the snare drum with his drumsticks. Billie Joe felt the familiar, cold sweep of guilt pass through his body, before he shook it away. He wasn't going to fuck this up. Because what Tre didn't know couldn't hurt him.

"Maybe we should just lock my Mom outta the house," said Billie Joe, breathlessly, grinning cheekily as Jessie pulled him down into another passionate kiss, "I think I could do this all day..."

Jessie giggled into his kisses. She couldn't help but agree. After coming home from the studio to find Ollie out working at the restaurant, the two secretive teenagers had spent the past hour making out on the couch, the movie they had started out watching long since ignored.

Breaking off again, Billie Joe tucked a stray piece of hair behind Jessie's ear and smiled.

"You know? I was thinking," he began.

Jessie reached up and teasingly felt his forehead. He smirked at her, before he continued.

"You and me... we're kinda like Romeo and Juliet."

Jessie giggled.

"You're such a sap, Billie. How'd you figure that?"
"Cause we're not supposed to be doing this," he smiled, between kisses, "But we are."
"Ah... " smiled Jessie, "But, Romeo and Juliet were star-crossed lovers. And we don't even like each other."

Billie Joe grinned.

"Oh yeah," he said, kissing her again, "I forgot about that part. Well, it's probably for the best anyway. I don't wanna have to kill myself just cause you do something dumb like fake your own death and forget to tell me."
"Juliet didn't forget, dumbass. She wrote Romeo a letter telling him she wasn't really going to die, but the letter never arrived. That's why it was a tragedy."
"Meh, details. You know too much. I was stoned most the time in English class anyway."
"Big surprise," Jessie grinned, pulling him in for another kiss, "Maybe I'll get you to read Shakespeare one day."
"Heh. Good luck with that," he mumbled, as he kissed her neck

Jessie sighed contentedly. She knew she was enjoying all of this way too much, but she just couldn't bring herself to care.

At the sound of Ollie's key in the door, the pair managed to drag themselves away from each other, scrambling to opposite ends of the couch just in time before she poked her head around the living room door.

"Hey, guys, good day?"
"Awesome day," smiled Billie Joe, "You?"
"Oh... yeah, y'know..."

She glanced at the TV.

"Enjoying your movie?"
"Yeah, awesome movie," Jessie smiled.
"Great," said Ollie, uncertainly, glancing between the two smirking faces and getting the distinct impression that she was missing some kind of private joke.

Once she'd gone, Billie Joe scooted over to Jessie again and leaned close to her.

"Jess... what the hell are we watching, anyway?"

"So you guys are heading down to Santa Barbara in the morning?" Ollie asked later that evening, when the three of them were eating dinner at the kitchen table.

"Yeah," said Jessie, nervously. She had been trying not to think about it too much, because every time she did, she began to feel panicky.
"Kinda scary, huh?" said Ollie, sympathetically.
"Yeah," Jessie admitted, "I just don't know what I'm going to say to this guy... or what he's gonna say to me... about my Mom."

Ollie reached out and gave Jessie's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"You know, if you want I can come down with you tomorrow. If you need any extra moral support I mean."

Jessie smiled.

"That's really nice, Ollie," she said, honestly, "But... somehow I think that the more people are there, the more nervous I'll be... and Billie was pretty good moral support last time."

Jessie raised her eyes to Billie Joe's across the table and he smiled a little and gave her a wink.

"That's fine, honey," said Ollie, understanding in her voice, "And don't worry too much. It'll be good for you to meet them. And whatever you find out tomorrow... you already know your Mom cared, or she wouldn't have left you her house."
"Yeah," said Jessie, uncertainly, staring down at her pasta as she pushed it around her plate. She glanced up as she felt Billie Joe's foot stroking against hers under the table and she smiled over at him gratefully.

She just wished she could stop the nagging thought that had started to tug at the corners of her mind. Could leaving someone a house make up for twelve years of abandonment?

"Four Aces."
"Billie... that was pathetic."
"What?!"
"You haven't gotten any better at this game, have you?"
"What the fuck? How can you tell I'm bluffing? It's freakish!"
"The only thing that's freakish is how shit you are at lying," Jessie grinned.

Billie Joe sighed and dropped his cards to the floor, then flopped backwards onto the bed and rubbed his tired eyes.

"I'm beat, Jessie. Can't we go to sleep yet?"
"I can't. I'm not sleepy. I'm too nervous."
"Just chill out. What's the worst that can possibly happen?"

Jessie bit her lip.

"I don't think that thinking about that would help me right now."

She scooped the playing cards that Billie Joe had left scattered on the floor into a neat pile and began to shuffle them absently.

Billie Joe rolled over onto his side, an arm and a leg dangling off the edge of his bed as he watched her sitting cross-legged amongst all the junk on his floor, her face deep in thought as her fingers flicked through the cards.

"Billie?" she said, suddenly, startling him as he realized his eyelids had been dropping.
"Hmm?"
"... Why d'you think she left? I mean... what reason would someone have?"
"I don't know, Jess," he sighed, "Don't think about it till tomorrow, okay? Richard might be able to tell you something."
"Or he might not. Maybe the only person who'll ever be able to tell me anything is my dad."
"And you aren't going anywhere near him."

Jessie sighed, nodding as she stood up.

"I know," she said, dropping the cards onto a shelf and sliding her hands into her pockets, "You're right... there's no point in going over all this tonight. I'll let you get some sleep now... you have a big drive tomorrow."

Billie Joe raised his head, propping it up on his elbow.

"I hope you don't think you're going anywhere."
"Huh?" she smiled.

He shifted over on the bed and patted the space next to him.

"I'm not drunk tonight. You can trust me not to molest you."

Jessie laughed, as he reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her down onto the bed.

"I didn't really think you were going to molest me," she smiled.
"Well, in that case, " he said, seriously, "... you're a little naïve."

She jabbed him in the ribs and he laughed.

"Okay, okay," she smiled, "I'll go brush my teeth and stuff and come back. Alright?"

He grinned.

He was half asleep again by the time she got back, and she felt kind of guilty for keeping him awake so late when they had to get up so early. He stirred as she slid under the covers next to him and turned out the lamp next to his bed, before he reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer so that her head rested on his chest. She closed her eyes as she felt his fingers begin to stroke over her hair. She didn't think she'd ever felt so comfortable.

But she still couldn't sleep. A million thoughts ran through her mind. Her mother, her father, Billie Joe... . She replayed the last trip they had taken to Santa Barbara in her mind, and how that day had changed everything so much, in so many different ways.

Jessie raised her head and kissed Billie Joe's cheek. He smiled, before rolling over onto his side so that he was facing her.

"You really aren't gonna go to fucking sleep are you?"
"I'm trying!"
"Yeah, right," he smiled, moving his head closer to hers on the pillow, so that their noses were almost touching. He squinted at her through the darkness. He wished he could see her better, settling instead for lifting his hand and tracing her face with his finger, running it softly across her cheek and down her nose until it reached her lips and she kissed it, before wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him closer.

"I have a question," she whispered.
"Hmm?"
"You know last time we went to Santa Barbara and we went to the beach?"
"Yeah."
"Were you serious when you said you liked guys as well as girls?"

Billie Joe rested his head against Jessie's, surprised by the question.

"Why... does it matter to you?"
"No," she whispered back, "I'm just interested."
"Oh... well. Yeah. I was serious."

He laughed, nervously.

"Weird huh?"

Jessie squeezed him around the middle.

"I don't think its weird."
"You don't?"
"No... I bet heaps of people are bisexual and in denial. I think its ... cool... that you're open about it."
"Really?" he smiled.
"Mmhm."
"But... . I'm not really open about it. I mean... I've only ever told you... "
"Haven't you ever... y'know... acted on it?"
"It isn't why I've been spending so much time in the new studio with Mike and Tre, if that's what you mean," he joked.

Jessie grinned.

"You're stalling."

He sighed into her hair.

"I've like... made out with guys before but... never, y'know... anything more..."

Jessie nodded quietly.

"... Does that freak you out?"
"No," Jessie whispered, with a smile, "Is kissing guys as much fun as kissing girls?"

Billie Joe laid his hand on her cheek and moved his face even closer to hers.

"It isn't as much fun as kissing you," he smiled, before he placed his lips on hers.

She smiled into his kiss, pulling the covers further around them both as she slid her hand up around his neck and returned his kisses more deeply, relishing in the feel of his teeth and the taste of his tongue. He grinned in the darkness as they broke off, breathing heavily, his hand finding hers under the sheets and their fingers interlacing.

"Breaking the rules has never felt this fucking good," he whispered.