No One Knows

"Hmugh. Jessie... It hurts..."
"I know," Jessie smiled, sleepily, without opening her eyes, as she reached out and stroked Billie Joe's hair.
"It's not fair," he grumbled, his voice low and scratchy. "I wasn't even that drunk."

Jessie giggled, pressing her nose against his shoulder.

"I think all that pot you smoked might have moderated your memory."
"Hmm," he murmured, "I don't remember that much..."
"Probably best that way."
"Why? Did I do something stupid?"

Jessie rolled over and wrapped her arms around him, smiling.

"Yeah, but don't worry. You were kind of cute."

He smiled, weakly.

"I'm cute?"
"I said kind of."
"Well, that's better than nothing I gue- Ugh..." he groaned, "Don't squeeze me like that... I'll throw up..."
"Sexy," Jessie murmured, in amusement, closing her eyes again.
"Hmm... you know it. I wonder if Mom will feel like making me breakfast. Y'know, since we're leaving tomorrow and all. She might want to make the most of me and, like, wait on me all day..."

Jessie smirked.

"Hate to break this to you, but I heard her car pull out like an hour ago. I think she went to work."

Billie Joe groaned again.

"God, you're such a baby when you're sick. It's not exactly rock and roll."
"Fuck off," he muttered, pressing his face back into the pillow.
"That's no way to talk me into making you breakfast..."
"You'll make me breakfast?"
"Not anymore," she smiled.
"Jessie..." he groaned, "Just come coffee... it would be awesome..."
"Well, I'd better get something in return."
"I'll think of something... when my head stops doing this spinny thing..."

Jessie grinned, sitting up and kissing his cheek, feeling the slightest of stubble against her lips.

"I'll see what i can do," she whispered.

What felt like moments later, Billie Joe was being nudged awake, his face breaking into a broad grin at the sight of Jessie crawling back into bed carrying a tray of dangerously wobbling breakfast

"I'm no good at pancakes," she apologized, "I can never get them fluffy enough. So, I did toast instead."
"You're fucking amazing," he said, hauling himself into a sitting position as she set the tray down on the bed and passed him a cup of coffee, "I don't know how I ever got by without you."

Jessie giggled.

"Food really is the way to a man's heart."

Billie Joe grinned, as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer and kissing her cheek.

"Among other things," he smirked, "So, are you gonna read to me today?"
"Heh, now you're pushing it. I have to go to work today."
"What? No..."
"Uh huh. I'm supposed to be there in an hour."
"Can't you like... call in sick or something?"

Jessie laughed.

"We saw Eddie about eight hours ago. He knows I'm not sick. Besides, it's Saturday. He needs me there."

Billie Joe sighed.

"Fine... I should probably start getting ready for tomorrow anyway."
"I can't believe you haven't packed a single thing yet," Jessie smiled, wryly, surveying Billie Joe's characteristically messy bedroom. He shrugged, and she chuckled.
"Actually, what am I saying? I would have been shocked if you had."

"So how's Mr. Green Day this morning?" Eddie asked Jessie, looking a little worse for wear himself, as he sat behind the counter at the record store, making no move to do anything that could be considered work.

"Hungover and whiny," Jessie replied, counting out change for a waiting customer.
"Well, man, was he drunk last night. I mean, Jeez, for a small guy, I was impressed at how much he held down."
"He didn't hold it down. He brought it up twice on the way home."

Eddie laughed.

"Still," he said, "Those guys sure are entertaining drunks..."
"I know. Not entertaining with hangovers though. Billie wasn't too happy you're making me work today and I couldn't stay home to nurse him back to health."

Eddie grinned.

"Aah, young love..." he said, "But y'know, you're leaving for two fucking months. I have to make the most of you today."

When Eddie had disappeared into the back room to sort through some new stock, Jessie was distracted by the arrival of a familiar face, and she smiled as he approached.

"Hey Freddy!"
"Hey... how're you feeling today?"
"Pretty tired... you?"
"Like shit. I just thought I'd drop by and say goodbye and stuff."

Jessie smiled.

"Thanks," she said.
"When're you leaving?"
"Tomorrow afternoon, I think. But I don't think any of the guys have started packing yet, so..."

Freddy grinned.

"Well, I've been spreading the word. I have this friend who lives in Milpitas. He's gonna go to the show the guys are playing there next month. I told him they were really good, and he's gonna bring like 20 of his buddies down with him."
"Freddy, that's awesome," Jessie grinned, "Thanks!"
"No problem. I have to head, so have a great time, okay? I guess I'll see you when you get back."
"Definitely... and listen Freddy... thanks for everything. You've been awesome this past few months. I guess in the end, I'm really glad I decided to skip out of school all those times. It was worth the bad report cause I'm really stoked we met."

Freddy grinned, before hugging her tightly.

"Me too, Jessie," he said, "See you in August."

As Freddy turned to leave, Eddie emerged from the back room and called out to Jessie.
"Can you close up tonight?"
"Sure... why?"

Eddie grinned over his shoulder as he headed back into the room.

"I have to leave early... I got a hot date."

It was later that afternoon, before Billie Joe felt recovered enough to haul himself out of bed and start throwing items into a bag ready to leave the next day. As he did so, the events of the day before replayed in his mind, a small smile tugging at his lips as he stopped what he was doing and bit his lip, sliding his hands into his pockets. There would be plenty of time for packing in the morning. He had more important stuff to take care of right now.

The restaurant was going through its mid-afternoon lull when he arrived, to be greeted by Laura who was positioned behind the bar for no apparent reason other than to be standing next to Jason.

"Hey Billie!" she called, "You did want to come and say goodbye to me!"

He smiled.

"You know I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't."
"Heard you had a show last night. And how are you feeling this morning, my diminutive little friend?"
"Fuck off... and shitty."
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"Do you have any reason to be hanging out behind the bar?"
"She's helping me," smirked Jason.
"Yeah, man, I can see you're really rushed off your feet today with your... zero customers. Anyway, know where my mom is?"
"Kitchen," smiled Laura, "And don't worry. It's pretty dead today. I don't think you're in any danger of getting hired."

Ollie looked up from what she was doing as Billie Joe entered.

"Hi Honey," she smiled, "This is an unexpected pleasure."
"I know," Billie Joe replied, hoisting himself onto one of the the kitchen units, "Don't make me work, okay? My head still aches a little."
"Good night?"
"Awesome."
"Never drinking again, though, huh?"
"Of course."

Ollie smiled, sticking a spoon into a pot on the stove and stirring slowly.

"Here, taste this," she instructed, dipping another spoon into the pot and holding it out to him. He eyed it suspiciously.
"What is it?"
"Soup. If you're here you might as well be useful and do a taste test."

He smiled, taking the spoon from her and putting it in his mouth.

"It's pretty good," he remarked, handing it back to her, "I don't think it needs anything."
"Great," she replied, "So... what are you doing here?"

Billie Joe ran a hand through his hair and shifted, nervously.

"I know you talked to Jessie yesterday... about me, I mean."

Ollie glanced up from the pot she was stirring on the stove.

"I did," she smiled, "Interesting little conversation that was..."

Billie Joe chewed a little on his lower lip and looked down at his hands.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't want to go behind your back and stuff. I mean... that wasn't really planned. None of it was really planned."
"I know," she smiled, reassuringly, "I kind of figured that. I just can't believe I didn't put two and two together, what with all the time you two have been spending together lately. Looking back... it adds up."
"Yeah," smiled Billie Joe, "We did a pretty good job of hiding it. We couldn't fool Annie though. She guessed right away."
"Annie knew about this?"
"Yeah..."
"I'm gonna have to have words with her," Ollie joked.
"Seriously though, Mom. Are you mad?"

Ollie sighed, looking up at Billie Joe.

"I'm not mad, Billie. I love you both and I think you make a lovely couple. I can see how happy you make each other. But I have to admit... it does worry me slightly. Only that... you guys are so young and... if this goes wrong, I don't want to lose Jessie. I don't want her just becoming some ex of yours."

Billie Joe looked down.

"Mom," he said, "Whatever happens, however this works out... Jessie will never be just some anything. She means way to much to me for that, and she loves you. You aren't going to lose her. I know this makes everything a little complicated, we always knew it would but... it's so worth it. I can't stop this now."

Ollie smiled.

"I know," she said, "And I trust you on that. Just you make sure you treat her right and hold on to her. You mean the world to that girl. You're a very lucky boy, you know."

Billie Joe smiled.

"I know I am," he said, "And she means the world to me too. I promise I'll treat her right. I mean, when I think of all the crap she's been through lately... I get this kind of achy feeling inside me... I just want so bad for her to be happy. I want to be the one that makes her happy. Like... no girl has ever had this effect on me... made me feel like this and care so damn much. I don't know... I can't really explain, she just makes me feel all... spiffy."

Ollie laughed.

"You sure have a way with words sometimes. And... I think that's called being in love, Honey."

Billie Joe smiled.

"I think so too," he said, quietly, feeling a blush begin to rise in his cheeks.

Ollie smiled, broadly, reaching over and pulling him into a tight hug.

"I'm proud of you, y'know," she smiled, "And I'm happy for you. For the both of you."
"Thanks, Mom," he said, "So, seeing as you're proud of me... I need a favour."
"Okay..."
"D'you have any champagne around here... on mates' rates?"

Ollie smirked.

"Billie Joe 'Never Drinking Again' Armstrong?"
"Everything in moderation, I say. And I think Jess and I have some stuff to celebrate. Also, I need you to tell me how to make something vaguely impressive."

Ollie laughed.

"I'll do my best."
"Are you around tonight?"

Ollie gave him a look.

"No, lucky for you, I'm going out."
"Think you can maybe, like... stay out a while?"
"Don't push your luck, Mister."

He grinned, sheepishly.

"Just the champagne and the food then..."

After closing up the record store for Eddie that day, Jessie headed for home, the last of the warm evening sunlight turning the sky to shades of pink and casting long shadows on the sidewalk in front of her. She smiled to herself, excitement flickering in her stomach at the thought that it was just one more day before she'd be on the road with the guys, and marveling at how she had gone from being so miserable to so content without really noticing.

It was getting dark by the time she arrived home, and she had barely put her key into the lock before the door was pulled open.

"Woaah... hey," Jessie smiled, "You look healthier."

"I feel healthier," Billie Joe replied, taking her by the hand and pulling her inside as he kissed her. Jessie giggled as he pulled away, seeing how different he looked from the way she'd left him that morning. He was now clean shaven, his hair still damp from his shower, and wearing a green shirt that somehow made his eyes look like emeralds. Her stomach fluttered a little. He really was gorgeous.

Smiling, she wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up at him as his hands came to rest on her hips.

"Something smells good around here," she commented.
"Yeah, that's me."

She laughed.

"Well, you do smell pretty nice, but i was kind of meaning the food smell. What's Ollie cooking?"
"She isn't here. It really is me."
"You cooked?"
"Yep," he smirked, ""Impressed?"
"Yeah," she grinned, "That's really sweet of you..."
"You haven't tasted it yet. It might be fucking awful."
"Ah, that's okay. It's the thought that counts. And I'm great at ordering pizza."

Billie Joe smiled, as Jessie leaned in and kissed him softly, sliding her fingers into his hair to pull him in closer as their kiss deepened and he stroked his hand up her back. He smiled again, resting his forehead against hers as they linked their fingers together.

"You hungry?" he murmured.
"Starved."
"Awesome," he smiled, "I think it's almost ready. Come on..."

Billie Joe led Jessie through to the kitchen by the hand, and she watched as he opened the oven and pulled out a dish of lasagna, which smelled even better when it was out of the oven than it had before.

"I'm seriously impressed," Jessie remarked with a smile.

He grinned.

"Well... it's veggie," he said, "I hope that's okay."

Jessie wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Course it's okay. I'm getting used to your herbivore ways."
"I do like my herbs," he smirked, and she giggled.
"Want me to set up the table?"
"Nah... I thought we could eat outside."
"... It's kinda dark..."

Jessie watched a small smile play on Billie Joe's lips.

"Well... I tried to fix that," he said.

Jessie gave him a curious look, and he nodded towards the back door. She raised her eyebrows as he turned his attention back to serving up his lasagna, then walked over and opened the door.

"Oh my God," she smiled, as she stepped out onto the porch and into the warm night air.

Billie Joe had made up for the lack of a table by spreading a rug out on the grass, and illuminated the back yard with a few flickering candles. Just when Jessie thought she was going to melt into the floor, she felt Billie Joe's hands on her waist and his chin rest on her shoulder.

"Go take a seat," he said, "I'll be one minute."
"I can't believe you."

He chuckled into her neck.

"In a good way though, right?"

She grinned, turning around and kissing him passionately.

"In a really, really good way."

Jessie had settled herself on the rug, unable to keep the smile from her face, when Billie Joe re-emerged from the house, carrying their food and settling down next to her. Jessie moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He leaned down and kissed her.

"Champagne?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow as he held out a glass for her to take.
Jessie grinned in amazement.
"Champagne? What did I do to deserve all this?"
"A whole lot," he said, as he opened the bottle, and the cork flew off with a loud pop, and disappeared into the darkness. He smiled as he filled up her glass.
"Thanks," she smiled, watching him fill up his own.
"So," he said, looking back up at her with a smile, "What shall we drink to?"

Jessie grinned, linking the fingers of her free hand with his.

"Hmmm... how about we drink to... Billie Joe... and Jessie... and having the time of our lives."
"That sounds pretty good to me," he smiled, clinking his glass against hers.

"Billie," she said, quietly, after they'd both taken their first sip of champagne, "This is really amazing... thank you."
"It's okay," he said, looking down as he squeezed her hand, "It's overdue."
"What's overdue?"
"Letting you know how much you mean to me."

Jessie felt her stomach do a little flip, as he raised his eyes back to hers. The candlelight cast flickering shadows across his features, and made his eyes look more sparkly than ever. She stopped breathing as he leaned closer.

"You've changed my life," he said, sincerely, "I was going nowhere and now... I don't just mean with the band, although you've helped with that more than you know. I just mean... you made me feel like I wasn't wasting time anymore. You gave me something to live for and I... I love every minute that I'm with you."

Jessie felt a smile creep onto her face, her heart beating fast as he reached up and laid his hand against her cheek.

"You don't know how amazing you are," he said, quietly, "I'm so fucking glad I met you. I know life's been tough but I'd do it all over again if I had to. I mean... for you... I'd take the punch in the face a hundred times over."

Jessie let out a shaky breath as he moved impossibly closer.

"I know I've been shit at explaining how I feel," he said, "It took me long enough to psyche myself up just to kiss you that day in Santa Barbara. And now, it's all got so intense and I... my feelings got so much stronger but I didn't know how to tell you. I was so afraid of ruining this."
"I don't think anything can ruin this now."

He smiled.

"Me either," he said, "That's why I wanted to do this for you tonight, and just make it all about you and me. I just, I had to do something... to show you how much I love you."

Jessie stared at Billie Joe, as his eyes remained fixed on hers. Her breath hitched as she felt something choke up inside of her, and suddenly she was reaching for him, and pulling him into a kiss fueled with so much passion it made his heart stop. His arms went around her as he closed his eyes and kissed her back, before she pulled away a fraction and laid a hand against his face.

"Do you really mean that?" she whispered against his lips.

He nodded.

"I don't think I've ever meant anything more than this."

Jessie's breath carried a shake as she touched her nose back against his, her heart pounding and her chest heaving with emotion. She didn't think she had ever felt so much in one moment in her whole life. She didn't think she had ever felt so loved. She pressed her lips back to his, as he dragged her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her to pull her closer.

"I love you... so much," she whispered, between kisses, and Billie Joe let out a little gasp of breath before capturing her mouth with his once again. His fingers tugged a little on her hair as she wrapped her legs around his waist, deepening the kiss with her tongue and wishing it was possible to get closer against him.

Just when Jessie thought she might be susceptible to passing out from romance overload, she felt Billie Joe giggle a little into her neck and she pulled back, smiling.

"What?"
"I hate to ruin the moment and all," he said, "But as much fun as this is, I slaved over that fucking lasagna and I'll be damned if you're letting it go cold."

Jessie laughed.

"I guess that's fair," she smiled, slowly kissing him once more, before sliding out of his lap and picking up her plate, "Besides, I am seriously hungry now. Damn Eddie disappearing at lunchtime so I had to work it through and survive on m&m's and oh my fucking god, is this good... "

Billie Joe grinned, triumphantly.

"I don't just do pancakes, y'know," he said, "Told you I was multi-talented."

Jessie grinned, kissing his cheek.

"You sure are. You know, maybe you can feed me and Mike and Tre on tour and we won't need to get ridiculously malnourished after all."
"I don't think it'll be any fun if we don't get ridiculously malnourished," he smiled, "Besides... I think I only like cooking for you."

A lot of champagne and lasagna later, the candles were dimming as they burned down into molten wax, and Jessie was sitting in Billie Joe's lap again, her head resting on his shoulder. She pressed her nose into his neck, breathing him in as they sat in blissful, wordless content, listening to the sounds of each other's breathing and the insects chirping in the darkness.

Jessie slowly raised her head, sliding her fingers into Billie Joe's hair, smiling as she fiddled with the pieces that began to curl upwards slightly at the front, and sighed.

"You okay?" he murmured, raising her hand to his lips and kissing her fingers.
"Yeah," she smiled, "I was just thinking... I don't think I've ever felt this happy."

Billie Joe smiled against her fingers, before raising his eyes back to hers and wrapping his arms back around her.

"You know... me either," he said, softly, "Right now... everything feels just perfect."

Jessie smiled as he leaned in to kiss her, nipping slightly at her lower lip and making her giggle into his mouth as the kiss deepened and he pulled her closer, his breathing becoming heavier as his kisses became more urgent, before his lips moved from her mouth to her neck. She shivered a little at the way he felt against her skin.

"Is champagne supposed to be an aphrodisiac?" he asked, suddenly, raising his head and smiling.
"Umm... no, I think that's oysters."
"It is? Oh. Well, it must just be you then... ."

Jessie laughed, squeezing him as they kissed again. It didn't take long for their kisses to pick up pace again, and Billie Joe was letting himself fall backwards onto the rug, pulling Jessie down with him without their lips parting once. He slid his hand round to the back of her neck, pulling her closer as their kisses deepened, his tongue running alongside hers as his hand slid under her shirt and his fingers ghosted up her back.

Jessie felt her skin prickle with goose bumps at his touch, and she let out a small moan as she moved her hands from his hair down to his chest, where she started to work on the buttons on his shirt. Billie Joe let out a breathy sigh as her kisses moved to his neck.

"Think we should maybe take this inside?" he murmured.

Jessie smiled against his lips.

"Probably a good idea."

Billie Joe smiled, pulling her down into another deep kiss, before she pulled back, sitting up and taking his hand. Jessie watched as he leaned over to blow out the last candle that remained alight, letting a wisp of silver smoke spiral up towards the dark sky, before he kissed her hand and led her back towards the house.

After stopping three times to kiss on the way up the stairs, they finally made it to the top, where Jessie smiled.

"Your place or mine?"

Billie Joe laughed.

"Hmm... yours," he decided, putting his hands on Jessie's waist as he walked her through the door, before he turned her around and pressed her up against it and they lost themselves in another flurry of heady kisses, undressing each other slowly at the same time.

Jessie smiled, happily, wrapping her arms around Billie Joe's neck as he carried her over to her bed and they both flopped onto it, not in the smoothest of ways, only to continue with their frantic kisses. Jessie bit her lip, letting out a breath as he dropped a line of soft kisses along her collarbone. She ran her fingers from his shoulders down the length of his body, wanting to touch as much skin as she could reach. She shivered a little as his rough fingertips trailed over her stomach and he kissed her again.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear, before his hand moved lower and she drew in a breath as her mouth was covered by his again, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Jessie took his face in her hands and brought him down so that his forehead rested against hers, her heart thumping with a mixture of excitement and emotion that she hadn't ever felt so strongly. She never could have imagined how amazing it could feel just hearing him say those words.

"I love you too," she whispered, with a smile, kissing him deeply.

She moved her hand from his face, stroking her fingers over every inch of him as he stuck out an arm to rummage blindly for a condom in the drawer next to Jessie's bed, before his fingers closed around the desired object and he let out a breath of relief, pressing his lips to Jessie's again.

As he entered her, kissing her endlessly, both were silently taken aback by how incredible it could feel, and how somehow different, now that it openly meant so much more than ever before.

"Ohh, God you feel amazing," he moaned, as her hand went to his hair.

Jessie smiled, reaching her hands down to the small of his back to pull him in closer.

"You are amazing," she breathed, "I think I could spend my whole life doing this over, and over, and over... "
"Let's try it... " he gasped, with a smile, before his mouth crashed against hers, his tongue delving past her lips once again.

Finding himself underneath Jessie as their pace quickened, Billie Joe bit down softly on her neck, letting out a breath and muffling his cries as he felt himself becoming closer and closer to the edge. Jessie took his hands, interlacing their fingers and pinning them above his head as she caught him in another feverish kiss and he let out a groan.

"Jess," he panted, as he arched into her, releasing her fingers and wrapping his arms back around her, before pulling her closer and eliciting a small cry. He bit his lip, tangling one of his hands in her hair as he picked up impossibly more pace. He sent a wave of pleasure crashing over Jessie as he let out a sound somewhere between a whimper and a groan as he began to slow down, before stopping completely.

Jessie took his flushed face in her hands and kissed him breathlessly, as she slid over to his side and wrapped her arms around his warm body. He smiled, turning his head to face hers on the pillow and touching their noses together, as they linked their fingers together again, neither of them speaking as their heavy breathing slowly returned to normal.

After a long moment of silence, Jessie smiled again and kissed him on the nose. He grinned, gathering her up in his arms and hugging her tightly.

"This has been one of the best nights I can remember in a long time," he smiled, kissing her forehead.
"Me too," she smiled, then she looked up at him. "Hey, when's your mom due home?"

Billie Joe glanced at the clock.

"She said around ten thirty. So, we still have an hour or so."

Jessie smiled, tightening her arms around his waist and kissing his chest as she rested her head back into the crook of his neck.

"Where did she go anyway?"
"I have no idea," Billie Joe replied, "I think she said out with a friend. To be honest, I wasn't really listening. I was just stoked she'd be outta the way."

Jessie laughed.

"It was pretty lucky."

Billie Joe smiled and kissed the top of Jessie's head, and then they were quiet for a moment, before he spoke up again.

"You know... I'm really happy," he said, softly.

Jessie smiled, feeling warm, as she trailed a finger lightly down his stomach to his belly button.

"I am too," she said. She chuckled a little. "It seems crazy looking back now... don't you think?"
"Yeah," he said, "I seems weird when I think how angry I was when you first arrived. God, if I'd only known... "
"Yeah," replied Jessie, "And... I just can't believe I could have been so wrong about you."

Billie Joe smiled, running his fingers through a lock of Jessie's hair.

"I don't think I ever was wrong about you," he said, thoughtfully, "I think... I was just to proud to admit to myself how I really felt from pretty much the moment we met. God, I was such a jerk."

Jessie giggled.

"I think maybe I was the same," she said, "My feelings for you just came out in all that yelling."
"We did a lot of yelling, huh?" Billie Joe smiled, "Let's just hope we did all the yelling to be done in our relationship right there at the start."

Jessie grinned.

"Sounds like wishful thinking," she said, wryly, "Unless you did all the pissing me off in our relationship right there at the start too. You piss me off, you get yelled at Billie Joe."

He laughed, kissing her.

"Well, that's fair warning, I guess," he smiled.

Jessie smiled, shivering a little as he began lightly tracing patterns on her bare back with his finger. He noticed, reaching down to pull the sheets back up over their bodies and Jessie snuggled back into him.

"You know," he murmured, "I think... although I'm pretty ashamed to admit this... that that's why I didn't want Tre to have you. I guess if I couldn't have you, I didn't want anyone else having you either. And seeing you guys together, it just made me so uncomfortable. And I couldn't really place why... it was kind of unsettling. But I still can't believe the way I went about the whole thing and I split you guys up... "

Billie Joe bit his lip and looked down.

"It makes me fucking wince thinking about that night you confronted me about it and you were so upset."

Jessie smiled, taking his hand under the covers.

"Tre's awesome," she said, quietly, "I feel bad about the way that all happened too... It's weird looking back now, remembering me and Tre, y'know, together. I mean, he's a great guy and... there's definitely something attractive about him, y'know?"
"Yeah, there is. Tre's never been in any short supply of admirers... "
"Exactly. But... I don't know. It just wasn't ever... right. It never felt anywhere near as perfect as it did when I kissed you."
"When you kissed me the first time? That wasn't exactly perfect."
Jessie smiled, wryly.
"But it just felt right. Even if the way it happened was a disaster."
"That night was... crazy."
"I know," Jessie grinned, "I think we just denied it way too long. I guess it had to come out somehow."
"I'm sorry it happened that way," said Billie Joe, softly, stroking his fingers against hers, "I'm really not proud of how little self control I showed that night."
"Well, you weren't the only one."
"I feel bad though, Jess," he said, sincerely, "I can't believe I didn't even pick up that it was your first time, I was so caught up in myself. When I think how much I must have hurt you without even realizing... "
"Well... I could've told you. I still don't really know why I didn't. I guess I thought you'd think I was stupid..."
"I'd never have thought that!"
"I know that now. I don't know. Maybe, when it came to the crunch, I just didn't want to give you a reason to stop."
"And I would have. I swear to fucking God, if you'd just have said the word... I'm not that hormonal."

Jessie laughed.

"I know you would have," she said, reassuringly, "Anyway, I'm actually glad it happened now. I think it got rid of a lot of tension, and I think it brought us closer."
"Yeah... I think so too," said Billie Joe, kissing her.
"And whatever brought us closer, I'm grateful for, because I couldn't have come through the past few weeks without you here, Billie."

He smiled.

"I'm sure you'll return the favour one day."
"You know I would. I just hope I don't have to. I hope we've had our share of shit for a while."
"Amen to that."

Jessie rolled over onto her side so that she was facing Billie Joe and stroked a hand through his hair.

"I don't think you realize how amazing you've been to me, Bill. I mean, finding out about my Mom... I couldn't have gotten through that without you."

Billie Joe smiled, looking down at their entwined fingers.

"Well... I know how it feels," he said, quietly, "You need someone there. When my Dad died, I had my brothers and sisters to look after me and you didn't have that. I couldn't have got through it without them. Especially Holly and Annie. I think I probably took it hardest since I was so young... and I hadn't realized how sick he was."

Jessie nodded, moving her head closer to his on the pillow.

"What was it like when he died?" she whispered.

Billie Joe's mouth skewed thoughtfully to the side as he continued to watch her fingers stroking against his own.

"Weird," he said, eventually, "... Sudden. He was just sick... for a real, long time. And I'd go visit him. Sometimes I'd, like, tell him stories about kids at school... or about my brothers and sisters... or sometimes I'd sing him songs and stuff. He always seemed happy... so I didn't worry, y'know? It was almost like... some dads get flu in winter, some get lung cancer."

His voice cracked a little at the end of the sentence, and then he was quiet. Jessie touched her nose against his, and then he cleared his throat and continued.

"But then this one day I went, he talked to my brothers and sisters, and then I went in as usual, and I sat on the bed, like usual and I talked to him like usual. But I remember he looked kind of sad... and then he just said he had to go. And I was, like, where?... And he said... he had to go somewhere for a real long time. Maybe forever, but it didn't know that until he got there... . And I said I didn't want him to go anywhere... and I laid down next to him... and he put his arms around me. And then he said he'd had the most wonderful time... He said he'd had a wonderful wife... and wonderful children... and now it was time for him to go."

Jessie's eyes were full of sorrow as he finally looked up from their hands, before she pulled him into a tight hug. He buried his face in her neck as they lay very quietly for a long time. Jessie stroked her fingers against his back, breathing in the scent of his hair, and when she felt his tears against her skin, she said nothing.

When Billie Joe finally raised his head, he kissed Jessie softly on the lips, before looking up at the clock and sighing.

"I hate to say this," he said, "But when Mom gets back, she's gonna have a cow about leaving all of our shit out on the grass."
"Yeah, the raccoons are probably having a party out there already. Wanna go clear up?"
He nodded, hugging Jessie once more, before throwing back the covers and hopping out of bed.

By the time Ollie returned that night, the backyard and the kitchen were cleared, and Jessie and Billie Joe were curled up on the couch, wrapped around each other as they half-watched a movie that was being shown on TV.

Ollie smiled at the sight of them, still not used to seeing them looking so together, and they both looked up, greeting her as she entered the room.

"Good night?" Billie Joe inquired.
"Yeah, it was really nice, thanks," she replied, "How was yours?"
"Ours was really nice too," smiled Jessie, "Billie Joe made awesome lasagna. It was almost as good as yours."

Billie Joe gave Jessie a look, and Ollie grinned.

"Well done, Billie," she said, "Are you guys all ready for tomorrow?"
"Yep," replied Jessie, feeling a familiar flicker of excitement in her stomach.
"Uh... I have a few things left to pack," Billie Joe admitted.
"Yeah, like his entire room," Jessie added.

Ollie rolled her eyes.

"Well, I'm sure he'll get up nice and early to finish up," she smiled, "Goodnight guys."
"Night," they chorused, as she left the room.

"She does seem happy enough we're together, don't you think?" Jessie smiled.
"She is happy," Billie Joe nodded, "I talked to her about it today."
"Really? That's cool."
"Yeah, she said she couldn't believe she hadn't worked it out before. I mean, it was pretty obvious we weren't going to be just friends."

Jessie grinned, kissing him.

"I don't think we were ever just friends," she said, "I feel like the whole time I've known you we've been either sneaking around to sleep in each other's rooms, or sneaking around to yell at each other without waking your Mom."

Billie Joe laughed.

"Yeah, we can only do extremes, right?" he smiled, "Rage and love."

Jessie smiled back, kissing him again.

"Rage and love is about right," she said.