You Don't Know A Thing About My Sins
"Soooo...what are you saying?"
-Two Weeks Later-
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
"Hmmm, I wonder who that is...were you expecting someone today, Gerard?" I asked him, sitting by his side. It had been two weeks since Alicia had broken up with me, and I was still saddened very much so. Gerard had been moved to his room back in the clinic, but he was still weak, so he was in a similar bed to the one in the hospital. He shook his head to my question.
"I only expected you as usual...but you're already here, so dunno." he trailed off, and in entered a nurse with a tray of food. Gerard smiled happily, which made the room glow and he chuckled back.
"Well, Gerard, I'm glad to see you here again. I missed your silly face!" she chirped, setting up his lunch. It looked like some sort of pasta, like Mac and Cheese, I suppose. She lifted the lid and proved me right.
"I missed ya, Janice. How was the place whilst I was gone?" he asked through a mouthful of pasta. I just sat back and watched the conversation unfold before my eyes.
"It was boring, to tell you the truth...except another patient threw a plate of spaghetti at my face! That was a little adventure!" she chucked, and Gerard laughed heartily. We all talked for a few minutes, and Gerard seemed to be very happy, which in turn made me happy as well. Just then there was a slight tapping on the door frame, and I seemed to be the only one who heard it, for the other two were in a deep conversation about which patient they knew was the craziest. I glanced over my shoulder to see who it was, and my heart sank a thousand fathoms before crashing to a watery bottom.
Alicia was standing there, looking at me with eyes that suggested she was here only for business, which was unlike her. She walked past me, which personally hurt more than anything else. I mean, at least acknowledge me for fucks sake! I cleared my throat loudly, and she gave me a glare of seriousness.
Gerard and Janice broke from their conversation and noticed the new arrival in Gerard's room. He smiled widely and reached out for Alicia to hug him. She easily gave in and smiled as her embrace held Gerard captive, and he enjoyed it. I sighed and looked at her with arms wide open, a little smile cracking through my tired expression. She broke from Gerard's love-hug and gave me a look before smiling herself and hugging me quickly. She sat down next to Gerard on the opposite side of the bed as I was.
Janice put her nurse's hat back on and smoothed out her apron, realizing that she had a job to do, and the rest of the patients were probably starving like hell.
She left quickly and quietly, just the way she was trained to.
-AnHourLater-
She hadn't said a word to me ever since she came in. She was talking to Gerard the whole time, watching TV with him, not acknowledging me, but not ignoring me when I asked her something. Gerard didn't seem to notice, and I was surprised to see that Alicia wasn't telling him that we were through, as if she knew that he shouldn't know at all...at least, not yet. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to say something, but it was pointless to do, not to mention risking her discovery of my true feelings for my brother. I would just have to trust that she wouldn't spill the beans on me.
The door frame knocked loudly, and I went to go to it. I was a little taken back by seeing the newly purple hair-dyed Elle, who looked at me with a slight smile. Gerard looked over to my direction and froze when he saw Elle.
He smiled warmly and sighed, signaling his approval. I sighed as well and figured that he would want his privacy. Alicia figured that as well, and she decided to say her goodbyes to Gerard and Elle, but not me. Eh, I can't be too surprised...she was still dealing with the break-up, as was I, so I just accepted it. The two of us left the room as Elle entered it, her purple hair being the last thing you could see before the door closed shut.
-Gerard'sPOV-
I saw Elle sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at me and sighing from time to time. She seemed different today, and I'm not just talking about her beautiful purple hair, which wasn't so colorful that it made me turn away. It suited her...it was pretty.
"Gerard...you know how I'm like, right?" she asked me, fixing her already-perfect hair.
"Yeah." I answered.
"What's different about me?"
"Oh, a lot of good things. Kindness, common sense, a free spirit...you love to travel, which in my case will probably be good, since we travel a lot when the band's on tour..."
"Well, Gerard, about the traveling bit. I urm, I think it's time that...well..."
"What is it? You know you can tell me." I said. She was struggling, and I could tell that whatever she was going to say was going to hurt her to say...and most likely hurt me to hear...
"I...I'm a free spirit, Gerard. I need to see the world, and...I don't deal with commitments, very well..."
"Soooo...what are you saying?" I asked, not really getting the picture well.
"Gerard...I'm breaking up with you...right now."
My stomach just gutted itself out my own body and plunged itself into a fiery pit of damnation by the very words she had just said.
"Wh-what?! I mean...but why?"
"I've already told you, Gerard...I'm a free spirit...I'll be tempted to cheat on you constantly if I kept dating you along with my current lifestyle...I need to leave."
"...then change your lifestyle! You can change, right?" I begged, not wanting to see her go.
"Gerard...that's asking me to change who I truly am...do you want me to be somebody that I'm not?"
She had a good point...I just didn't want to acknowledge it at all. I had to though, if I wanted to keep my somewhat barley-there sanity. I finally put my head down to my chest and shook my head to her question.
"No...I guess not."
She lifted my face in her hands, and my damp eyes were staring at her own, not happy with the situation I was in. She hugged me warmly, embracing me in tenderness and compassion that I was in desperate need for right at this moment. She finally let go and sighed, looking out the window.
"I'd better go..."
"Will you come and visit if you can?" I asked as she rose from the bed. She got her purse and placed it on her shoulder. She nodded her head.
"As much as I possibly can, sweetheart. I still love you. Gerard, don't get me wrong...it's just...the timing's all wrong. That's all, just bad timing...see ya around, Gee." She explained, and she glided out the door, her dignity well intact, her purple hair flowing in the passing breeze.
...and a piece of my heart in her hands, pulsing and contracting for someone to love it.
Just as she was leaving, I saw three figures approach me, and I instantly knew who they were. Frank engulfed me in a bear hug, and I hugged him back, while Bob was already getting the remote for the TV, and Ray was sitting by the bed. Bob eventually found a good channel, and sat down next to me as well. None of them were looking at the screen, however. They all stared at me, and in a comforting manner, not the creepy, sadistic manner that usually accompanied such a look. Just then Frankie plopped down on the bed and sighed one of those sarcastic, obnoxiously loud sighs.
"Gerard...this bed is fucking comfy as hell...I want to be in your bed." he said, muffled from the sheets. Everyone, including me, cracked up at his random remark, and I felt a little better about the situation. It was nice to have friends who were with you all the time, especially if it was in an clinic.
I don't think I should tell Mikey and Alicia...they'd be too depressed to handle that...not to mention the constant check ups on me to be sure I wasn't so depressed over it all that I was trying something horrible.
Things would be best kept hush-hush for the time being...at least for a couple weeks.
But wait...Mikey's still with Alicia. Damnit...I'm not gonna stop their relationship, especially since they seem to be working well together, despite today. They acted weird today, and it frightened me in a sense. What do I do? I have no choice but to pretend we're still together...otherwise Mikey'll be pressured to break up with Alicia just to be with me.
Ugh...love is a bitch when it doesn't have to be.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
"Hmmm, I wonder who that is...were you expecting someone today, Gerard?" I asked him, sitting by his side. It had been two weeks since Alicia had broken up with me, and I was still saddened very much so. Gerard had been moved to his room back in the clinic, but he was still weak, so he was in a similar bed to the one in the hospital. He shook his head to my question.
"I only expected you as usual...but you're already here, so dunno." he trailed off, and in entered a nurse with a tray of food. Gerard smiled happily, which made the room glow and he chuckled back.
"Well, Gerard, I'm glad to see you here again. I missed your silly face!" she chirped, setting up his lunch. It looked like some sort of pasta, like Mac and Cheese, I suppose. She lifted the lid and proved me right.
"I missed ya, Janice. How was the place whilst I was gone?" he asked through a mouthful of pasta. I just sat back and watched the conversation unfold before my eyes.
"It was boring, to tell you the truth...except another patient threw a plate of spaghetti at my face! That was a little adventure!" she chucked, and Gerard laughed heartily. We all talked for a few minutes, and Gerard seemed to be very happy, which in turn made me happy as well. Just then there was a slight tapping on the door frame, and I seemed to be the only one who heard it, for the other two were in a deep conversation about which patient they knew was the craziest. I glanced over my shoulder to see who it was, and my heart sank a thousand fathoms before crashing to a watery bottom.
Alicia was standing there, looking at me with eyes that suggested she was here only for business, which was unlike her. She walked past me, which personally hurt more than anything else. I mean, at least acknowledge me for fucks sake! I cleared my throat loudly, and she gave me a glare of seriousness.
Gerard and Janice broke from their conversation and noticed the new arrival in Gerard's room. He smiled widely and reached out for Alicia to hug him. She easily gave in and smiled as her embrace held Gerard captive, and he enjoyed it. I sighed and looked at her with arms wide open, a little smile cracking through my tired expression. She broke from Gerard's love-hug and gave me a look before smiling herself and hugging me quickly. She sat down next to Gerard on the opposite side of the bed as I was.
Janice put her nurse's hat back on and smoothed out her apron, realizing that she had a job to do, and the rest of the patients were probably starving like hell.
She left quickly and quietly, just the way she was trained to.
-AnHourLater-
She hadn't said a word to me ever since she came in. She was talking to Gerard the whole time, watching TV with him, not acknowledging me, but not ignoring me when I asked her something. Gerard didn't seem to notice, and I was surprised to see that Alicia wasn't telling him that we were through, as if she knew that he shouldn't know at all...at least, not yet. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to say something, but it was pointless to do, not to mention risking her discovery of my true feelings for my brother. I would just have to trust that she wouldn't spill the beans on me.
The door frame knocked loudly, and I went to go to it. I was a little taken back by seeing the newly purple hair-dyed Elle, who looked at me with a slight smile. Gerard looked over to my direction and froze when he saw Elle.
He smiled warmly and sighed, signaling his approval. I sighed as well and figured that he would want his privacy. Alicia figured that as well, and she decided to say her goodbyes to Gerard and Elle, but not me. Eh, I can't be too surprised...she was still dealing with the break-up, as was I, so I just accepted it. The two of us left the room as Elle entered it, her purple hair being the last thing you could see before the door closed shut.
-Gerard'sPOV-
I saw Elle sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at me and sighing from time to time. She seemed different today, and I'm not just talking about her beautiful purple hair, which wasn't so colorful that it made me turn away. It suited her...it was pretty.
"Gerard...you know how I'm like, right?" she asked me, fixing her already-perfect hair.
"Yeah." I answered.
"What's different about me?"
"Oh, a lot of good things. Kindness, common sense, a free spirit...you love to travel, which in my case will probably be good, since we travel a lot when the band's on tour..."
"Well, Gerard, about the traveling bit. I urm, I think it's time that...well..."
"What is it? You know you can tell me." I said. She was struggling, and I could tell that whatever she was going to say was going to hurt her to say...and most likely hurt me to hear...
"I...I'm a free spirit, Gerard. I need to see the world, and...I don't deal with commitments, very well..."
"Soooo...what are you saying?" I asked, not really getting the picture well.
"Gerard...I'm breaking up with you...right now."
My stomach just gutted itself out my own body and plunged itself into a fiery pit of damnation by the very words she had just said.
"Wh-what?! I mean...but why?"
"I've already told you, Gerard...I'm a free spirit...I'll be tempted to cheat on you constantly if I kept dating you along with my current lifestyle...I need to leave."
"...then change your lifestyle! You can change, right?" I begged, not wanting to see her go.
"Gerard...that's asking me to change who I truly am...do you want me to be somebody that I'm not?"
She had a good point...I just didn't want to acknowledge it at all. I had to though, if I wanted to keep my somewhat barley-there sanity. I finally put my head down to my chest and shook my head to her question.
"No...I guess not."
She lifted my face in her hands, and my damp eyes were staring at her own, not happy with the situation I was in. She hugged me warmly, embracing me in tenderness and compassion that I was in desperate need for right at this moment. She finally let go and sighed, looking out the window.
"I'd better go..."
"Will you come and visit if you can?" I asked as she rose from the bed. She got her purse and placed it on her shoulder. She nodded her head.
"As much as I possibly can, sweetheart. I still love you. Gerard, don't get me wrong...it's just...the timing's all wrong. That's all, just bad timing...see ya around, Gee." She explained, and she glided out the door, her dignity well intact, her purple hair flowing in the passing breeze.
...and a piece of my heart in her hands, pulsing and contracting for someone to love it.
Just as she was leaving, I saw three figures approach me, and I instantly knew who they were. Frank engulfed me in a bear hug, and I hugged him back, while Bob was already getting the remote for the TV, and Ray was sitting by the bed. Bob eventually found a good channel, and sat down next to me as well. None of them were looking at the screen, however. They all stared at me, and in a comforting manner, not the creepy, sadistic manner that usually accompanied such a look. Just then Frankie plopped down on the bed and sighed one of those sarcastic, obnoxiously loud sighs.
"Gerard...this bed is fucking comfy as hell...I want to be in your bed." he said, muffled from the sheets. Everyone, including me, cracked up at his random remark, and I felt a little better about the situation. It was nice to have friends who were with you all the time, especially if it was in an clinic.
I don't think I should tell Mikey and Alicia...they'd be too depressed to handle that...not to mention the constant check ups on me to be sure I wasn't so depressed over it all that I was trying something horrible.
Things would be best kept hush-hush for the time being...at least for a couple weeks.
But wait...Mikey's still with Alicia. Damnit...I'm not gonna stop their relationship, especially since they seem to be working well together, despite today. They acted weird today, and it frightened me in a sense. What do I do? I have no choice but to pretend we're still together...otherwise Mikey'll be pressured to break up with Alicia just to be with me.
Ugh...love is a bitch when it doesn't have to be.
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